Monstrosity
by NuclearParadise
Summary: A Frankenstein Au. This is no tale about a block-headed, green brute, but of a tortured soul in a patchwork vessel by the name of Ivan, and how he unexpectedly fell in love. RussiaxNyo!Canada (rewritten)
1. Nightmarish Reality

I have chosen to take from both the movies and the original _Frankenstein_ novel by Marry Shelley with a dash of Ruscan to mix up an odd concoction of horror, romance, and angst in a huge pot with the intentions of creating this monster of a fiction. Updates may be slow at times, but I assure you, I will always be working on this in my free time. Thanks to everyone who commented on my earlier attempt and kept my spirits up to create a cleaner mess from scraps of the previous version.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this work of fiction, neither do I claim any ownership over _Frankenstein_, or _Axis Powers Hetalia_._ -I am just a big nerd with too much free time._

**_Delve in at your own risk wary reader._**

* * *

><p>Francine sighed as she walked down the winding dirt road leading to her husband's personal laboratory a few miles out from their home. The rain was pouring down in buckets on her, accompanied every few minutes by the rolling crash of thunder. She gripped the handle of her umbrella for tightly, trying to calm herself of her nerves. Arthur had been very suspicious with his work lately and it caused her great pain to wake up in the morning without him at her side. He would come home at ungodly hours of the night -if he did at all- with dark rings around his eyes and hollowed cheeks. He looked so fatigued that his appearance vaguely matched that of a corpse. When would he see that this work of his was doing neither of them any good?<p>

She glanced up from the muddy earth as she passed through the rusty old gate, her eyes trained on the tower ahead. Quickening her pace, Francine ran through the raging storm to reach her husband.

"Arthur? Arthur? Are you in there love?" Francine pounded on the heavy wooden door with her fist, whilst calling out to her beloved. She was left standing out in the rain for a few more minutes, silence being her only answer. A frown tugged at her lips and she reached out to pound on the door again. "Arthur! Please come to the door, it's raining cats and dogs! My blouse is getting soaked!" Her eyes flicked down to her shirt, but most importantly the swollen belly beneath. She frowned. _I really shouldn't be out here with a child on the way, who knows when it will come?_

There was thunk from the other side of the door and it creaked open the slightest bit. She sighed in relief at the sight of Arthur's piercing green eyes. "What are you doing out here Francine? I thought I told you to stay in bed and get some rest!" He opened the door more to hold her in his arms for a brief moment.

Francine winced as a small pain came from her belly. "I-I had to see you, this work has gone on long enough. You always come home looking as if you've been dragged through hell and back... I wanted to know that you were okay."

Arthur sighed and closed his eyes with a frustrated frown. "Francine, how many times must I tell you that I'm alright? You mustn't worry about me, you have another little one that needs to be looked after." He gently caressed her stomach, showing his rare fatherly instincts.

"Could you at least allow me inside? I'll go home once this storm has blown over, I promise." She glanced past him at the gothic interior of his laboratory.

Arthur looked a bit troubled, but after a long pause, he gave in. "Fine, but you mustn't interfere with my work." He mumbled.

"You won't have to worry, I'll stay clear of your _precious_ work." She hummed teasingly.

Arthur nodded and opened the door completely. "Okay, watch your step as you ascend the stairs, I do not want you to harm the child or yourself."

Francine blinked appreciatively, stepping inside while closing her umbrella. "Will do." She assured. The heavy door closed behind her and Arthur raced past to the top of the tower. She took her time, making her way up the stairs much slower than her companion. When she finally reached the top, she was left a bit winded, but resumed walking into the main room with her husband at her side. He swished past her and closed the door, rushing back to the tables of beakers and strange machinery. The room was in a hexagonal shape, and all of the strange items made it seem much smaller and cramped than it truly was. She spotted a chair sitting beside one of the tables and took a seat with a relieved sigh. All around her were pages filled with ink scribblings and gleaming metal utensils. _It must be his desk_, she decided. Her eyes skimmed over the room as a whole with a bit of surprise. There were these massive machines lining the walls that weren't filled with bookshelves, such strange machines that not even she could comprehend. She couldn't even guess what it was he was working on. Francine glanced over towards Arthur curiously, tuning in as he clattered and fiddled with something. By the weak candlelight she could just barely make out another table in front of him. It seemed to be the center of his work, as he was going back and forth between it and the machinery.

"I am almost prepared... just a few more electrodes... ah yes! Good... now to check this... oh and that!... Splendid!" His voice was raised with a cheerful tone. Arthur clasped his hands together with a smile which felt much unlike his normal self. "Everything is ready! Now," he lowered his voice, "all I have to do is wait for the perfect strike of lightning!" His fingers again moved wildly to double-check everything.

"Uh... Arthur?" Francine interrupted. She felt a strange aura coming from him and his work, causing some discomfort.

"Yes Francine? What is it? I'm busy." He growled and quickly glanced over towards her. A pair of goggles clung over his eyes now.

"I was just wondering what it is you were working on."

It felt as if there was someone or something else in the room with them, like a ghost or apparition of unknown origin. A very uncharacteristic smile spread across his face at that, sending a chill down her spine. "You will see soon enough, love, and you will understand why I have been so edgy lately." He turned back towards the main table and ran his thumb over its surface.

"O-okay..." Francine tried to smile and go along with it, ignoring the odd presence for now. _It must just be the baby messing with my mind, I will feel better once he is finished with his work and he can accompany me back at home again. _She tilted her head to get a better look of this 'project,' but even so, she couldn't make out what in the world it was. There seemed to be a linen cloth covering the entire table, hiding his project from view.

Overhead, the sky erupted with a thundering boom that caused her to jump in her seat, and Arthur to clap his hands together. "Yes! It is time!" He ran over to the machines and flicked every switch along its side, creating a deafening hum.

Francine cowered into herself as the whole room was bathed in a bright white light, and a terrible rattling noise met her ears. _What is he doing!?_ Out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed something moving on the table beneath the drape. Her scream echoed all throughout the whole tower, drowned out by the crackling zap of electricity. Over it all she heard the most terrifying cackle, that of which had awakened her into the nightmare that was her most beloved husband. "Yes! Yes! It's working!" He bellowed. Then, all at once, everything suddenly became silent, and her strange feeling from minutes ago had grown more severe. She was sure that it wasn't just her concern that had made her feel this way, it most certainly had to be her husband's work. There was some sort of evil coming from it, and she could sense that something very bad was about to happen.

"It... It's Alive!" Arthur bellowed, forcing her to stare at him in horror. The table that had once been very, very, dead, was now anything but. Something moved convulsively beneath the cloth, causing her to scream again.

"W-what is that!?" Francine cried, pointing a shaky finger towards it.

"That, my dear Francine, is life." Arthur smiled wickedly and flipped the cloth from the thing's head.

Her whole body froze and her heart pounded in terror. It had a human form, but looked to be more like a rag-doll gone wrong. "Arthur!? What have you done?!" She yelped.

Arthur too was frozen, and he did not reply. She could just see the look upon his face of utter shock. He shook his head back and forth. "No... no, no, no, this cannot be!" Something was wrong, very, very, wrong...

The strange being opened its amethyst eyes and took a huge raspy gulp of air. It reached out for Arthur with a stiff hand and emitted a terrible groan. The Englishman yelped and drew back, stumbling onto his backside. Francine called out to him in panic. He crawled backwards on the floor until his back hit the stony wall and he found his footing. The creature began to sit up, shooting fear into their hearts,

"Quickly! We must get out of here!" Arthur ran to her side and helped her up. She ran after him as he opened the door and raced down the steps fearfully. The sounds of the creature's dark awakening echoed throughout the whole tower, trailing behind their escape. Arthur whipped open the heavy wooden door and pulled her outside along with himself, forcing her forward. Francine ignored the aching pain of running and did so along her husband. They fled into the night, running past the gate and into the safety of the other side.

"W-what was that... that thing!?" Francine gasped as they slowed down half way down the dirt road. Arthur quickly glanced over his shoulder at the receding tower and shook his head fearfully.

"An abomination." He held her in his arms, his heart pounding hard against his ribs. "Please, _please_ tell me that the baby is okay." He stared into her face, his eyes dark with a mixture of horror and concern. Rainwater cascaded down her pale cheeks, running with her tears.

Francine caught her breath and she nodded pitifully. "I-I think so, but I don't know if I can run again." She whimpered.

Arthur nodded. "Then we will rest for a few more moments and walk at a fast pace." He glanced behind his shoulder again. "I do not want that creature catching up."

She sobbed and leaned against him for comfort. "W-why did you have to do this? Wasn't our baby enough?"

The words hurt him deeply, but even he didn't know how to answer. He looked sadly past her and sighed. "I don't know Franny, I really don't know..." He couldn't lie to her and tell her that it was all okay, because there were millions of things for them to worry over after what he'd done. They had created life together, but he still foolishly tried to create it on his own.

The image of the monster's face flashed behind his eyelids as lighting boomed overhead once again. It would soon appear in his nightmares, greeting him with its inhuman eyes. He stifled a sob and petted his wife's hair. Nothing would ever be the same again, all because of him.

They returned home that night and Arthur made sure to keep Francine comfortable and the doors locked. He knew he shouldn't have had her strain herself as she had, and now the child could be in danger. The both of them kept quiet, neither of them speaking a word of the horror they had seen. Arthur felt guilt and fear weigh heavy on his mind, keeping him from sleeping. He lied down beside Francine in their bed for the first time in months, staring with bloodshot eyes at the ceiling. Every time he heard the house settle, he would jump and glance around wildly. He could have sworn that he saw the creature lurking in the shadows, but when he glanced away and back, it was gone. Beside him Francine slept softly, probably due to the sheer exhaustion and fear they had gone through. He took a shaky breath and let it out, trying and failing to calm down. His hand wandered over to hers resting on the blankets, and he held it, trying so hard to destroy the images in his mind. He didn't know what had gone wrong, he never felt any fear throughout the process of collecting parts and creating his monster. It just felt so _inhuman,_ as he realized just how grotesque it looked with its eyes opened and life brought to its body. The scar that ran over its cheek all the way over its nose and passed its brow, its emotionless gaze that stared right into his soul, and the sounds -oh the awful sounds it made... Arthur suppressed a shiver. The rest of his creation's body was covered in scars and deformities much like those that had appeared on its head. Why had such an exhilarating thing turned into a living nightmare so quickly?

* * *

><p>What was this? All of these feelings, they're filling my mind.<em> What is that voice? What are these things? I... feel this strange sensation, it's all melding together in a jumbled mass... Focus, what was the last thing that happened? Oh... what was that? It feels unpleasant... It feels as if something is threatening me... Who is me? Who am I? What are these things I see out of the blackness?<em> A plethora of sensations filled my stiffened limbs within a single clap of sharpened white.

My eyes opened to view the world for the very first time, my vision blurry and painful. There is a strange feeling to my side, I sense another being's presence... There are more here in this place? Something inside me feels tense, what is happening? My limbs feel sore and lifeless; all I can do is sit here and observe. _What is that? Is that another voice?_ The colors of the outside world begin to form shapes. Above all I feel something burn within and something triggers. My mouth opens and I feel my body fill with the surrounding atmosphere, it cools my throat and fills my lungs with air. It's very unpleasant, but strangely natural feeling. The shapes above me form a creature, something that moves as I. My vision does not stray from the two bright orbs bordered with other colors. They feel familiar but distant. I force my muscles to move and awaken. As my mind tells it, my arm reaches into my vision. It just barely reaches the being when they draw back. Its mouth moves to form noises that fill my mind like a swarm of bees. I feel its panic drown me and I try to move more. The being disappears, a shrill noise emitting from it and another being that had also been among us. I instinctively reach for my head, my hands brushing over the source of this unpleasant sense. A sound comes from deep within myself, sounding deeper and broken compared to the beings' own. All around me I soak up the world. It is shaded and filled with strange things. My legs move as I tell them, and I shift them to touch the flooring below. Another sensation fills my mind. It is very unpleasant and sends strange trills that scurry up my spine It seeps into my skin and clasps to my bones. My senses all start to organize themselves and everything clears. My outer body feels its surroundings while my inner body detects disturbances within this plane. Okay, well at least that much is clear. I move myself forward, running my hands over every surface that I come into contact with. They range from smooth, rough, or strange to the touch.

My eyes blink, relieving them of the rising burn that had crept into them. I glance down at what I assume is myself. A tattered cloth covers my skin at the base of my legs and runs all the way up to my neck. Curiously, I feel it with my fingers. It is coarse, and dark colored like the rest of my surroundings. Beneath it I feel my own body, awake and alive. My head jerks up again and I skim over the world before me. What else can I drape over myself? I spot another item hanging from a hook-shapped object, its bottom drags over the floor. Another new color for me to view. This one seems to be between the hue of the large four-legged objects and the light flat items lying over their surface not so brown, but not very white. I walk over on shaky legs and pull it from its place. After a moment I find that there are two holes for my arms and one at the top for my head. I shove one arm inside one of the sides and then the other. This object feels warm, the opposite feeling from the floor under my feet.

A low rumble vibrates in my throat, coming out in a low hum. Pleased with this little accomplishment, I look over to the opening where the being had disappeared through. I felt strangely attached to this being, they felt very familiar for some reason. My mind races with new thoughts and ideas that seem to come from nowhere. Maybe I should find this creature, they may have some information on what's going on.

It took me a while to figure out my way out of the building and out into the open. With this new surrounding, I found many interesting things. This strange substance that constantly battered against my body, soaked into the fabric over me and wet the hair atop my head. At first it was soothing, but I found the longer I stood in it the colder I felt. Spasms racked my body, running up the base of my spine. I thought it best that I hurry to search for this being, or I may stiffen out here.

Fortunately, there was this rocky trail leading me forward, so I followed it.

This strange noise kept blowing up around me as I continued down the trail, it was terrifying at first with all of the light and such, but after it happened a few more times, I became accustomed to it. It was the first sound I had awoken to... how strange these things work. I hope that this being from whom I saw in my first moments can tell me who I am and what all of these strange things and feelings are...

My feet lead me to a house, where I curiously venture to the front opening. I tilt my head as I glance in the clear walls cut perfectly into squares. It is pitch black inside, maybe I followed the wrong path? I glanced down at the round knob that I had figured out how to use and reached my hand out. I turned it to the right until it crunched, releasing pressure, and I pushed the wall inwards, resulting in a loud creak. My eyes flicked back and forth in the dark, trying to adjust to the impossible lighting. I walked inside, ignoring the wall behind to venture forward. This new building was filled with much sweeter scents that gave me a sense of comfort. It was much more comfortable in here than it was in that last place. I ascended the upwards flooring, my heavy footfalls making the ground groan and creak. As I neared the top I felt my chest fill with an overwhelming feeling of warmth. Images of this being's expressed joy at the sight of me played over in my vision. Yes, I think I know what that is that I feel towards them. It was almost unexplainable, but I knew that it was only right that they and I meet properly. It was tender admiration.

I pressed my knuckles to the wooden in-moving wall to announce my presence. A few moments passed before I felt it right for me to walk in to greet my new friend in this odd world. The inside was just as dark, but the clear walls gave off enough light when that thundering boom echoed from outside. My eyes searched the whole room, landing on the large four-legged surface. There were two lumps on top, _yes_, I've found them. I cautiously stepped forward to inspect them further. A strange sound came from the two beings, sounding soft and peaceful. I tapped my finger over one of them, prodding their shoulder. The creature stirred, opening one of their eyes. With a start, I realized that this creature was a bit different from the one I had earlier encountered. It had longer yellowish hair, and its features seemed softer. My eyes went from their face to the rest of their body. I tilted my head curiously. They had a swollen abdomen, was there something wrong with this one?

Just a second later I heard that same piercing sound come from it, causing me to jump back. I held my ears to try to block the noise, my lips pulling downward. The other being that had been beside it was on their feet in a flash. I glanced up at them, curiously searching their face.

"Demon! Get away from her!" A series of noises woven together escaped their mouth, and they lashed out at me. Unprepared, I was driven to the ground. I stared at my attacker in utter confusion._ What!? What was it doing?!_

They went for my face with balled up fists, landing a few hits on my cheekbone and nose. I yelped and threw it off of myself easily. _Why!? I have just come for answers!_

I did not know any words to express my feelings, leaving me socially crippled. Just as they drew forward to attack me again, I threw myself to the side to keep from retaining any more injuries. This wasn't right, this creature was supposed to befriend me!

Without any other good ideas, I ran out the same way I'd come from, feeling the being's presence at my heels. My legs drew me forward in long strides, bringing me swiftly out of the house in a matter of seconds. The creature hollered after me, speaking in its own strange language. I pushed through the strange substance showering down on my skin, feeling like needles. My heart pounded in fear, I had to get away! I have to find a safe place!

Time passed in a blur of alien feelings and thoughts, I pushed through the dead fingers of the plants surrounding me. I don't know how far I ran, but at some point I felt my body begin to protest. My chest heaved to suck in the air around me, and my legs gave out. I crashed down onto the ground in an exhausted heap. Reality was fading again, and a part of me hoped that this was it, I could finally return to the blackness from once I came. Though when my head lolled onto the soft earth, I could feel the ache of my bones even in this state of rest. _How had I come here? Where were all of these feelings coming from? Why did the creature that had witnessed my first waking moments attack me? Had I done something wrong before all of these senses and thoughts came to me?_

"Umph..." I groaned, curling into myself. All of this was just too confusing. Fatigue forced me into a dark state of mind, that I remembered to be slumber.


	2. What an Odd Place

Arthur breathed heavily, watching as the monster disappeared into the stormy night, his whole body quaking in fear. It had come to his home, it had touched his Francine. He slammed his front door closed and rushed up the stairs to see if she was okay. Francine sat up in their shared bed, her body shaking violently and her eyes wide with fear. He rushed to her side, cradling her head in his arms. She sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt.

"I-it g-got in..." She clutched his clothing fearfully. "We're not safe anymore! It's going t-to kill us!" Her voice trembled.

Arthur hushed her, running his fingers comfortingly through her wavy blonde hair. "It's okay, it'll be okay. The monster is gone, it fled into the woods, I made sure it was far from us." He whispered, trying to convince himself more than her.

He had made a grave mistake, and now it would haunt the both of them forever. Why had he been so blind?

Neither of them slept again that night, in fear of the monster's return. Arthur kept his arms wrapped around her protectively, maddening thoughts buzzing through his mind. He hated that creature, no, he despised its very existence. He gave it life and what does it do to repay him? It breaks into his house and attempts to hurt his wife! Rage burned in his eyes, and he gritted his teeth hatefully.

"That creature will rue the moment I allowed it life...

* * *

><p>The morning sun did nothing to relieve him of his aching nose and limbs, it only woke him back into this cruel reality. His chest felt strangely empty, and a frown was permanent on his lips. The monster heaved himself into a sitting position and he rubbed his head sorely. He refused to stew over the previous night's happenings, pushing it away as a not-so-happy beginning to his story.<p>

His eyes wandered up towards the large yellow globe that shone brilliantly in the sky. A look of bewilderment crossed his features and he slowly stood up. What was this thing? He had to investigate.

The creature took a few steps forward and he reached his hand out to grasp the object in his hands. He greedily pulled it to his face to inspect it, but after opening his hands he found them to be empty.

"Hmm?" He tried again, ending in another failure. It was part of the sky? But how? It wasn't there at night...

He stared at it a moment more before his eyes started to burn and he quickly looked away. Purples and blues danced across his vision when he glanced from tree to tree, following him everywhere. He blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes to clear them. What strange things he was finding! What more was there for him to learn? The creature began to stroll forward amongst the overgrowth, brushing his fingers curiously over everything. Where had all of this been before he had awoken? No, he shook his head. He refused to stay on that subject for the time, it will only fog up his thinking...

The forest provided him with millions of new and beautiful sights. Animals were his favorite thing to observe as they too scurried about blindly. He took a deep gulp of the crisp morning air to calm himself. If he couldn't get answers from that not-so-friendly creature, maybe he could find them himself?

For starters, he would try to make sense of the colors that met his eyes at every turn. The small oval shapes that blew in the wind and clung desperately to the tall trees around him were the most brilliant colors of yellow, brown, and red. He enjoyed these colors in contrast to the deep brown of the soil beneath his feet, as it felt a bit too bland. Then he focused on the sky's changing color. The night before it had been bleak, a swirling pit of black that filled him with a sense of dread, while during this transition to a warmer brighter mood, it was the most beautiful of blues. There were fluffy white chunks of matter that seemed to drift past, blocking out the yellow orb when they went by. Everything was so new to him, it was like being transported to a wonderland of sensations.

As he became engrossed in the beauty of the world around him, he suddenly felt a pang in his stomach. He glanced down at himself with a confused frown. What was this? His eyes skimmed over his stomach, searching for any abnormality. Nothing... He glanced back up at the surrounding forest. Something in his mind clicked and he realized the source of his pain by instinct. _Hunger_. The monster knelt down to sniff several items, searching for the scent of food, or anything edible in that matter. Moments later his eyes landed on a bush with bright red bulbs and his stomach made a loud growl. It stood out among the rest of the shrubbery and he tilted his head. He wondered what food tasted like. Was is like breathing? Nothing at all?

Brushing off his thoughts after he felt another pang of hunger, the creature slinked over to the bush and picked a few red bulbs. He experimentally put one in his mouth and instantly blinked in surprise. It was bitter, but in a way satisfying. Without a second thought, he picked more and gobbled them up hungrily. Yet another new sensation that made his heart warmed!

After he had picked every last bulb on the bush, he ventured out to find something else to stimulate his small attention span. He was like a child allowed to wander the wilderness for the first time, his eyes wide with curiosity. Every step forward brought a million new wonders. He found himself watching the small flying creatures interact in the trees, trying to imitate them with his deeper broken tone. With a heavy sigh he continued to journey. His tweets didn't sound as heavenly as theirs had. No matter what, he kept his head held high and his eyes set on the next best thing.

Little brown rodents crowded around his feet when he had picked up one of their rough brown rocks, all biting at his ankles ravenously. It made him a bit panicked as they climbed up his clothing, so he dropped it back down onto the ground where he had found it. If he could say sorry he would, but a small nod would have to do. They chattered and cheeped, running after it as it rolled into the thinning bushes. He bid them farewell and moved onto the next thing.

The sounds of the trees interested him particularly when the wind blew gently past him. It ruffled and dried his beige hair and chilled his still soaked clothes. He tapped one of the trees to test its sound. The creature glanced up at its swaying branches where the sound was coming from. What a peculiar sound. He shrugged and sat down at the base of the tree to take a quick rest. His feet still ached from his wild dash, and he no longer needed to eat or explore much. He was perfectly fine where he was, having a great view of all of the interesting sights and sounds. A sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes. The forest felt like a nice place to stay, it was inviting with food, and shelter from the falling water. He didn't need that strange being to get along with this new waking world.

But as he thought, he felt more and more alone and helpless. Confusion fogged his mind and he soon became trapped in his own imagination.

Where he had awoken, what was that place? Who was that creature who had looked at him with a mixture of fear and interest? Who was he? Again the question was brought into light, and yet again he couldn't find an answer. He opened his eyes and glanced down at his own body again. The lines zigzagging across his skin bewildered him. He ran his finger curiously over one, feeling its rough surface.

As he sat there silently inspecting himself and the few other things left around him, he had begun to yearn for something. He didn't know what, but he just knew he needed to make this unpleasant feeling go away. It made him scared. He was out here in a odd new place, but he didn't have anyone to explore with. Yes, the little rodents and flying creatures did approach him from time to time, but they would scurry away if he tried to reach out to them. He needed to go find someone, anyone. Well, not that first creature, he wasn't very kind towards him.

So he stood up again with stiff legs and began to search for someone. Each step felt like a century as he went deeper and deeper into the woods. He felt very anxious to meet this particular person, maybe they would be able to help him understand this place?

Hours passed as he aimlessly wandered through the forest, and he had begun to grow wary. He had reached a part in the forest where no flying creatures sung, where there were no bushes filled with bitter bulbs. Everything held an atmosphere of death. The trees were bare, the ground was littered with dead branches and occasionally a soft patch of foul smelling dark green fluff. He felt uncomfortable in this new part of the forest. The monster turned to leave and continue in the other direction, but a sound stopped him. He felt another presence nearby, but his instinct told him to lay low until he saw what this new being was. Quickly, he ducked over into one of the bushes that had enough green to hide him. He silenced his breathing and waited for them to walk by.

The being made their way into the clearing, chattering in their own language to another creature who followed. He realized that this was another being like the one he had first encountered, but his companion was like nothing he had ever seen. It was short and walked down on its hands and feet. Its skin was patched with white and black and its ears flopped down past its head. It ran its long snout over the forest floor to smell for something. With a spike of panic he realized that it was walking towards his current location. It came so close that its nose poked into the bush, brushing over the sleeve of his clothing. He didn't dare make a sound in fear that it would feel threatened and draw the other creature's attention as well.

As if he had commanded, the other being made a sharp whistling noise with its lips and the creature ran to its side. It followed behind, making a strange "ruff, ruff" sound.

Just as fast as it had happened it was over. The monster let out the breath he'd been holding and crawled back out from his hiding place. Little branches and green leaves stuck to his clothing, stuck with mud and water. He glanced towards the place where the creature had disappeared and he pondered if he should take his chance to greet them. The remembrance of how the first being reacted kept him from going after them. Maybe it was best he didn't...

He kept walking forward for a while longer until he came upon a little cabin. It was all alone in the middle of this glum part of the forest, just like him. Uncontrollably, his lips pulled upwards, and he wondered why exactly.

The monster walked up to the building and opened the door to peek inside. It wasn't as dark as the last residence, and it was cozy inside. He pushed the door open more and shouldered inside, ducking his head to fit into the small frame. His eyes searched the whole inside, landing on a single orange light coming from a red-brick box. He half closed the door and drew closer the investigate.

To his surprise, he felt another's presence. Maybe they would be easier to approach? He walked up to the orange light-source and glanced over to the chair beside it. The same species of creature sat in it, a long glass container held in one hand. He waved his hand before its face to get its attention. It snored and tilted its head to the side. He frowned and glanced towards the container it held. It was filled with water... Well, maybe he could quench his thirst too. He slipped it out of their hand and held it in his own. Skimming over the strange symbols on the outside he shrugged. These creatures were very odd. He poured it into his hand and lifted it to his face to drink. Most of the liquid dripped out from between his fingers and ran down his chin, but he did get some. He instantly drew back, his eyes shutting tight. It burned his throat and left a strong taste in his mouth. Its scent wasn't like the water that had fallen onto him from the sky the night before. He stared down at the glass for a long moment before he gave in to his thirst and drank another handful. After a few more dregs, he had finally built a resistance to it to the point where he could even say that it was quite enjoyable. The burn felt dull and eventually it had begun to feel nicer going down. It felt natural to him. He gave up using his hands, pressing his lips to the top to drink to get every last drop.

His body felt increasingly warm and his limbs heavy and relaxed. He decided to see what the bright orange light was while he was in this cozy place.

It gave off heat as if it was its very own yellow globe, and it made a strange snapping noise. He narrowed his eyes at it and reached one hand out to grasp its orange fingers. His hand was engulfed in a burning pain, and he instantly drew back with a yelp. His eyes searched his hand and the heat-source, curiosity and pain flashing in his eyes. It gave him heat and light, but also punished him if he got too close. How interesting. He decided to sit at a safe distance from it, giving it enough room. This place seemed like a comfortable area to stay for a while. The monster pulled his knees to his chest and sat silently, thinking over all of his discoveries.

So many things he had learned in the course of an afternoon. There were many beautiful things for him to gaze upon, while there were also some things that were unpleasant. Hunger, fatigue, fear, loneliness, and the growing sense of dread. He felt like something had been wrong when he visited that being. Had he maybe spooked it? He had managed to do so with the little critters in the forest. Maybe he had come off on the wrong foot? There was so much he had to learn, he yearned for more! Perhaps if he could learn more about this strange place and it's creatures, he could try to make right with them?

The idea made him feel joyous. Yes! If he was more educated when he returned to them, they would have to understand! He felt another smile creep up onto his face and he hummed happily. The fire kept him warm for the rest of the day, eventually cycling into night once again. Though he was surprised at first, he took it as another odd custom of this world. As he felt the light fade from outside, he felt the growing feeling of fatigue and keeping his eyes open had become a challenge. Eventually giving up, he fell asleep beside the light, fading into unconsciousness just as easily as he had woken up.

His dreams were of the new things he had discovered and of an image of himself. The lines running over his skin were gone, replaced with a healthier looking hue. He smiled down at himself and gazed up at the scene before him. It was a clearing in the forest, sunlight bathing it in a gentle yellow glow. The leaves beneath his feet were bright green and the trees held more upon their branches, making them look fluffy. The monster stepped forward into the beautiful scene, almost as if he was stepping into a painting. The air rippled and he heard a soft sound nearby. He searched for the source, eventually finding someone lying in the leaves a few feet away. It was that same being from his waking moments. He knelt down beside them, searching their face for any emotion. They glanced up at him with gentle smile, and he felt something inside him warm.

One sound came from his lips, sounding more human than the noises he made in the waking world. "Father..." It was in the language that the creatures made.

The being responded with a nod and another sound in return. "Yes."

He sat down beside his "father" and let out a happy sigh. This world felt even nicer than the other. It was calming, without any punishment or consequence. It was almost too good to be true.

Over the horizon he could see those fluffy white shapes from the daytime float closer, fading into a darker color. He lifted a brow and glanced to his "father" and back to the sky. He heard a thundering boom and a flash of white drew the sunlight away. The man beside him stood up with a gasp. The monster blinked confused. What was happening now? The dark shapes now hung over their heads, raining down on them with water from the heavens. He raised his head to look at what it was, turning his palm up to catch some water. It hit his palm and formed a small droplet of red. It began to fall heavier and heavier, slapping into his skin and blinding him. He made a surprised sound and tried to gain his footing. What was this!? His vision returned for a split second, enough time to look down at his arm. The red washed away to reveal the same pale color and streaks of jagged lines. He glanced up to where his "father" was moments ago, desperate to plea for help. They were gone, leaving him alone in this pouring rain of red. He screamed and tried to wipe away the lines, to return his skin back to the healthy color, but it was too late. Another flash of white blinded him, thundering in his ears deafeningly.

He felt a scream tear from his throat and his eyes snap open in terror. The creature glanced around his surroundings in panic, expecting to see a forest drenched in red. There was a movement to his side followed by a groan. His eyes flicked up to see the being that he had stolen "water" and shelter from begin to awaken. Quickly, he dropped the glass and stood up. He had to go back to the forest, to make sure that it hadn't become the nightmare he had seen before his eyes moments ago. Without a second to lose, the creature slipped back into the night, leaving only an empty glass as evidence of his short stay. He shambled blindly through the dark, leaning on the trunk of a tree to recollect his thoughts. The bark was cold and dry rather than slick and warm. He let out a long sigh. Maybe he wasn't ready to meet his "father" just yet. He would just have to go it alone for a while until he understood everything he possibly could, and hopefully himself while he was at it.


	3. The Ugly Duckling

Every passing day brings me more interesting and alluring discoveries. I have found that the huge yellow globe that greets me during waking hours is the source for warmth, light, and energy for my fellow creatures. Everything seems to work in its own system, like a large, living, breathing, creature. The trees that jut out from the ground and spread their bare fingers into the sky serve as a home for the little rodents and flying animals. When I look down I find rough and yellowing patches of smaller plants that catch the falling 'hairs' from the trees. However, it is what lies below these plants that intrigues me the most, the soft brown soil is a sort of food source for these non-moving plants. After observing the little rodents and other creatures, I find that this soil isn't for our kind, they do as I and eat off of the plants. Fortunately, they do not mind at all when I pick little red berries from them. How kind.

Time and time again, while I go along on my adventures across this strange land I find myself in need of words to express myself. My current language of grumbles and groans doesn't seem to fit. When I hear the rare voice of a human, -as I have come to know them as- they have particular sounds for things. I find these sounds to flow easier and sound more elegant than a beastly rumble. Alas, all of my attempts to get their attention and somehow have them teach me this language have resulted in them cowering away from me. I don't understand why, I've tried to be more subtle and quiet, but that only seems to scare them more. Perhaps I should investigate further...

As I stroll along the riverbank of where I currently reside, staring down at the lapping water, my mind filled with wandering thoughts. I watch as small flat animals swim around between the rocks, heading downstream. All I can do is smile at their beauty and wonder further. What if I was like these strange creatures, born with flatter appendages and smooth spotted skin? I'd travel along with them as they hurry with the flow of water, not a troubling thought in my mind.

My eyes wander up to the surrounding trees, spotting two blue colored flying animals. Their high-pitched song meets my ears and I wonder what it would be like to be one of them. I would have longer more elegant arms built more for gliding on the air rather than their currently rugged condition. A broken hum rumbles in my throat. My song would be the most beautiful out of them all, it would fill everyone with the awe and happiness, people would see me and pull their terrified frowns into joyful smiles.

"Hmm..." Another perspective reaches my mind. What if I was more like those humans whom I have a growing interest in. I glance down at my palms, curiously eyeing the sewn patches of skin. My 'father' is human, but what am I?

My feet lead me to a quiet pool that stretches a ways from the stream, only disturbed by the steady trickle of mountain water. I blink, curiously glancing over towards the surface to see the reflection of the forest behind me and my own image. Maybe it was time I inspect myself as well as my surroundings.

My eyes widen and I almost draw away in horror at what creature stares back. What a horrid sight! I force my eyes to painfully run over every detail. They had a tall slouched stature which seemed very unnatural with anything I've seen before. The eyes bordered with short silvery-beige hair are the strangest shades of blue, violet even. I slowly eye the clothing and skin of this creature, feeling a heavy cloud of dread drift around me. The skin is the most pasty of whites, and the ugly looking scars that zigzag across its surface seem to add to its nauseating image. The clothing being still too big for them is torn and dirtied with thorns and burs littering its once fine tan fabric. But the face above all causes me to whine, it looks twisted and wretched as it had been sewn together across the bridge of its nose all the way to its hairline.

The sight brings tears to my eyes. This abomination who would appear in only the most terrifying of nightmares was me! No wonder humans cower from the mere sight of me! How rotten! Why hadn't I known? This horrible beast has been lingering just outside of my vision, blanketing the mind within and tainting the image of myself without my knowing. I didn't expect this at all! Yet it made too much sense. The blonde human from the very beginning of my existence had been the first to witness this disgusting exterior.

I shut my eyes tight and shake my head. I can't even look at myself for a moment longer. This was terrible! This changes everything! What creature on this earth would spare me their gaze without running in fear? My throat clenches and I drop to my knees. Please be another bad dream! I make choked sobbing sounds and let out my disgust in bitter tears of sorrow. Self pity and hatred towards myself are the only feelings I am capable of at the time, having no other ways to express myself.

Minutes that feel like hours pass and I am eventually emotionally drained, leaving me with nothing to do other than begin my long trek again. I avoid looking towards the water in fear of spotting my form again. It was too horrid for even my own eyes. I force my legs to guide me back into the thicker region of the forest, my throat still too tight for thirst. Even the little animals whom I adore ignore my pitiful whines and cries of sorrow. I don't belong here and I know it, but where do I? Are there other abominations like me out there, or am I alone in this odd world?

I eventually find a path to follow, unconsciously allowing it to guide me wherever it leads. My mind is congested with more questions, and the mere thought of my face causes me to flinch. What a drastic turn. My curiosity has all but faded, and I am only left to my own thoughts. The forest continues to breathe with life around me while I feel an invisible barrier separating us. If it had a face it would surely be looking the other way. I feel miserable emptiness fill the cavern in my chest, which is also covered in ugly scars. What terrible being would have such an ugly creature? It is cruel to give me these feelings and senses but leave me completely isolated from everything else. Who or what would do such a thing?

"Who." A voice calls. I blink my eyes and look up towards the voice. Confusion clouding my mind. What was that? I stop walking and survey my surroundings. "Who." Again the noise comes from above my head. I squint, but all I see is a round ball of fur sitting atop one of the highest branches of a tree. Then again the sound brings me to realize that the fur-ball is the source. It opens its two greenish eyes and parts it small yellow mouth. "Who." I stare in wonder up at it, tilting my head in confusion. What is this creature?

Then just as I had begun to wonder, it raises its feathery arms and swoops away. It must be some sort of flying animal like the ones I observed before. I watch the direction it flies in, my eyes widening at the scene it brings to my attention.

A small brick house standing beside a smaller wooden one lies out in the clearing to my left, looking very odd in the middle of the woods. A loud sound pierces the air and I quickly duck behind a tree. The sounds of footsteps run past me to my right, followed by a little human child dressed in black. I stare in awe as another child chases after them, wearing a long shirt that stretches down to the ground much like my coat. They both make a high pitched squeal as the other eventually catches up and grabs the arm of their black clothing.

"Aha! I've got you Ludwig~" The reddish haired child speaks in its own tongue.

"I-I... mph..." The blonde draped in black stares down at their feet, their face growing pink. I tilt my head, all of my previous sour thoughts gone for the moment.

Then there is another voice from behind the tree I'm plastered against, coming from the direction of the houses. "Ludwig! Feliciano! Come back here right now!" This voice sounds more feminine, most likely belonging to a female human.

I let out a long breath as the two children run back past my hiding place, giggling and chattering like rodents. How strange, I must have found another home... My curiosity is back and its even stronger. I cannot control myself, I must go investigate!

I slink around until I'm completely sure the three humans have disappeared and I walk into the clearing. Looking back and forth between the two houses I determine which one they might have gone into. My conscious leans heavily to the wooden one, so I nod and go forth to investigate. I silently approach the door to it, soaking up its details like a sponge. This smaller house is attached to the back of the other and the smell of rotting leaves and dirt comes from the inside. I reach a shaky hand over and gently open the door, revealing its inside. Blinking, I step inside. It is just as small as it looks on the outside, but almost completely empty except for the wooden bench in the corner. The door closes behind me and I almost jump like a paranoid animal. What have I found, I wonder?

My eyes skim the whole room and I breathe in its scent. It feels as though nothing has been in here for a long while, but warmth still seeps in from the cracks along the wall that connects it to the brick house. Wooden boards nailed across what probably used to be a door confirm that it used to be part of the house. I stride over and peek through one of the cracks. What I see almost causes me to make a sound. I have a complete view of the inside of the house, where a female human and a male human tend to their two children. It has about the same set up as any of the other cabins I have happened upon on my journey, there is a table, a fire, something to store items, books, and furniture for the humans to sit on. What a discovery!

I listen and watch quietly as the humans go about their business where the female tends to the metal kettle placed over the fire, the male sits on one of the chairs with his two children on either knee and he stares down at a book, speaking to them as he flips through the pages. A smile uncontrollably makes its way onto my face. Was this what I've been looking for? Humans to learn from? I ponder the idea of going in and announcing my presence, but my past few encounters with humans haven't gone very well so I think better of it. Perhaps I should stay the night and see if I can learn anything from these humans.

The female pours water from the kettle into a smaller container and hands it to the male, smiling happily with a few shared words. In response, the male takes the container and pulls it to his lips, sipping from it. The children on his lap giggle excitedly and slip away to occupy themselves with other things. They utter high pitched noises that I assume to be language or maybe its just their happy cries of enjoyment, I'm unsure. The blonde seems particularly shy with the other, his face constantly changing color as the other lays a hand on his shoulder or his sleeve. I find this amusing to watch, my own face lighting with a smile. Children were strange creatures, almost as if they were their own species separate from humans.

Why must I think of such things? Again I feel something within me stir and the image of my appearance comes back to mind. They wouldn't welcome me even if I tried. I sunk down to the floor and stared down at the yellow straw that litters the ground. Still, deep in my mind, I had a glimmer of hope. If I was to learn their language and their way of life, than maybe I would be able to persuade them to look past my grotesque features.

I imagined myself walking into the front door to the house with a friendly smile tugging at my dry cracked lips. They would flinch, but my words would bring them closer, and they would smile back. I could just barely feel their arms around me, welcoming me.

Yes, I must watch them closely, learning human language and actions. I can become like them if I put forth the effort. Perhaps this is my destiny rather than roaming around the forest like a lonely shadow?

I slowly rise back to my feet and look again through the crack. Instead of watching them go about their business, I smell something which causes my stomach to growl. I back up from the wall and search around. Where was that aroma coming from? Then I realize that the humans must be enjoying a meal, they must get hungry too. I decide to go get myself something to eat as well, and I slip away, keeping extremely quiet.

The thin forest surrounding their house is littered with colorful spheres and little objects made of smooth wood or cloth things shaped like humans. I pick one up to examine it, poking and prodding it. The cloth human doesn't move or do anything, but there is a smile prominent on its face which causes me to smile back. I slide it into one of the large pockets of my coat and continue on my quest for food.

When I find a bush of red berries and a small stash of nuts, I return back to my new 'home' and enjoy a meal of my own. It doesn't taste as lovely as the smell coming from the house, but it scares away my hunger. As the day drags on, I eventually grow tired of watching the family of humans and eventually curl up with my long coat and wait for sleep. My thoughts however, keep me from this for a long time. I can't stop imagining my own hideous form compared to those of the family. But, I keep telling myself over and over that language will solve this problem. The two sides of my mind are at a conflict for a while longer until I've had it and my brain eventually slips into unconsciousness. Tonight, I am met with no dreams of any kind, just darkness.


	4. A Perfect Day

The lovely song of flying animals and rustling trees brings me from the darkness of slumber, forcing me to open my eyes. I take this peaceful moment to take a deep breath and just bask in another beautiful morning. Nothing would ever tide my affections for nature, not even my own horrid exterior. I feel good, better than I had the day before.

Drinking in the scent of musky leaves and soil, I slowly sit up. It's not the worst smell, it reminds me of the forest floor. I yawn and stretch out my stiff limbs in a lazy manner. This day will be one of my best, I can feel it.

I peek inside the crack to view the family and check if they have too arisen yet. Nothing stirs inside the house, it must still be too early. Oh well, I'll have plenty of time to observe them after I get some food in my stomach. I slip out like a shadow, adventuring out into the forest beyond. The animals freeze from their activities and turn to stare at me as I shamble by, but all I do is lift a hand in greeting. After I am out of their view they return to their daily routine as if I had never been there. Today seems like it was going everyone's way, how nice! My chest swells with joy, bringing a smile to my face. Yes, a great day indeed!

I choose to venture a little farther in the direction I had originally been traveling, just to see what was ahead before returning back to my home. At first I find nothing more than a continuation of the forest, until I happen upon a yellow smudge over one of the hills. Curiously, I step forward and squint. There are dark specks amongst the yellow. I glance behind myself to make sure that the house is still within view. Well, It wouldn't hurt to see. I begin my trek forward again, descending upon the yellow patch.

It grows in size as I near, eventually spreading into a vast landscape of yellows, browns, and greens. They look very much like the small colorful plants that grow close to the ground, except for their gargantuan size. I tilt my head and reach my hand forward to feel one of the yellow objects. The large golden petals are soft and fragile between my fingers, though as I run them along to the circle in the middle I feel the roughness of its seeds. How intriguing. A strange feeling of warmth blossoms in my chest as I reach up to feel more of them. They give of a gentle comforting feeling, in which I bask in for countless minutes. I could spend forever in this enchanted field of sunny-shaped plants. But as the warmth of the sun begins to descend upon my skin, I am reminded of my new human 'friends.' They must be waking up very soon, I hope to get back into my shed before they are up and about. Maybe later I will revisit this heart-warming place. It definitely sounds like an appealing plan.

I begin my walk back to the house, a joyful spring in my step. Today will be much happier than the previous, I will make sure of that! Quickly and quietly, I slip back into my shed and close the door, latching the small metal piece connecting it with the wall. Again, the sweet scent of a well-prepared meal meets my senses. They were awake at last! I waste no time settling myself down beside the crack and peering inside, a smile working its way onto my face.

The female kneels before the fire with a wooden ladle in hand, while the male is on the floor communicating with the younger humans. They are all at peace, the giggling coming from the children confirming it. The blonde boy plays with a small wooden creature, which has an even smaller human replica sitting atop its back. He makes strange noises unlike language that I assume are mimicked animal sounds. I draw my attention over to the little red-headed boy who had settled himself behind the female, a dreaming look on his face. He stared intently at the metal pot the female was stirring, unconcerned about anything else.

A light chuckle bubbles in my throat at the realization that the pot must contain food in which the child had become mesmerized by. It's quite funny how hunger can draw in even the most complex of creatures like the human. Even I find myself allured by the savory smells of it.

They continue along with their morning, enjoying their breakfast as a collective group at a table before separating again. The youngest run wildly out the door, their laughter echoing as they exit the building. After they are gone I hear the female say something to the male who shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. They share a laugh for a moment before going onto other things. The male picks up a book and begins to read while the female tidies up the house.

I blink a few times before turning away from the crack to view my surrounding shed. Since they aren't going to speak for a while, I mine as well clean up my own home. I stand back up and begin to rearrange the hay lining the flooring to make a more comfortable sleeping area and place to sit and view the family inside the house. It isn't much to work with, but if I am to stay for a while, I should make it as enjoyable as possible.

As I rummage around with the hay, my eyes land on a peach-colored woolen object lying in the corner under a blanket of hay and dirt. I tilt my head in confusion and bend down to pick it up. It instantly feels soft and warm in my fingers, reminding me of the inside material of my coat. I dust it off a bit and pick away the strands of hay to better view this object. It is most definitely an article of clothing, but where does it fit? I hold it out in front of my face in its entirety, squinting at it in thought. It was long like a slithery creature, but flat like a leaf. I looked down at myself, though the only places I could find that would be in any way remotely correct were my cold ankles and bare neck. It is very large, so maybe it is clothing of the neck? I lean my head forward and slowly bring the woolen clothing down onto the back of my neck, feeling its warmth instantly wrap around my skin. Perhaps I should do the same? I grab both ends of the clothing and toss them in separate directions over my shoulders. It neatly folds over itself, leaving two tail-like ends to dangle behind me. I am grateful for this small unintentional gift. Not only does it protect the metal bolts in my neck from water-damage, but it also provides another source for heat on long cold nights. I smile and run my fingers over its folds. Yet again, if I could say "thank you," I would. Well, in fact, I will be soon. The thought feels almost as warm as this clothing. Yes, then I may be able to express myself and be able to communicate with the humans.

I finish tidying up my little space and flop back onto the ground. With all of the hay gathered in one area, it successfully cushions my fall. I could definitely get used to all of this. With a heavy sigh, I curl into myself, cuddling my new woolen clothing. I reach into the large pocket of my coat and pull out the small human replica that I had picked up the day before. It stares back at me with small blue button eyes, its sewn smile unrelenting. I smile back and gently feel its long ginger hair. It is a pretty little thing, I wonder why the humans had left it outside in the grass. Perhaps it was a toy the younger ones played with? I rubbed the smear of dirt from the folds in its clothing tenderly. At least I wasn't alone in here, this little thing will keep me company. I set if down beside me in a sitting position and nod. A perfect place for it. I hum pleasantly and bask in the comfort of my own little home. This was much better than sleeping outside on the rough and wet earth. It had bedding, warmth, shelter from the rain and wind, my own personal tutors and a little company if I ever feel lonely. What more could a creature like me want?

Some time passes and I eventually hear the female call out to the two children playing outside. I feel a bit of excitement rise up within myself. Finally I can begin my lesson. Quietly, I shuffle a bit to peek through the crack, where I find the children rushing inside. The female sits them both down on the ground while the male watches from his chair, a pleasant smile on his face. After a moment, the two children calm down enough for the female to speak. She set two flat white sheets down in front of them and gave them black sticks. They both picked them up and looked at each other with a mixture of excitement and interest. The female then retrieved her own sheet covered in countless scribbles side by side. I squinted to view them, tilting my head in confusion. She pointed to the first one and made a particular sound. "A"

The two children mimicked the sound, their full attention directed at her. I quietly tried to make the same sound, though it sounded broken and alien coming from my mouth. The female pointed to the next scribble and made a different sound. "B" And again, the children mimicked. I smiled at this, feeling giddy and excited. This was fantastic! I have a personal lesson directly from a human's point of view! I can't help but imagine conversing with them in the near future.

As I listen and respond, I am beginning to understand what each scribble means. The scribbles must signify the sounds they use to build sentences. Now as I recall their speech, I can clearly hear each symbol in use.

The children have been told to scribble on their own white sheets and they seem more than happy to do so. Even though I am left without a sheet of my own, I watch closely as they move the black sticks across its surface, an inky trail following. They try their best to copy the symbols in their own way while the female watches with a content smile. I myself feel a smile creep its way onto my face. As they write each symbol, I again try to make the sounds. "A, B, C..." I am determined to keep trying, but as the children finish writing, the female nods and teaches them more symbols. I stumble to keep up, but the sounds and symbols keep getting stranger and stranger. "L, M, N, O..."

Countless sounds follow until I am sure she went over every sound possible. The children finish up with their scribbling, handing over the sheets to the female. She takes them with a warm smile and rewards them with a pat on the head. Then she shows them another paper with symbols squished together to form separate groups. She speaks the sounds together to form words, pointing to each symbol as she says them.

"Apple"

The children mimic the word. I stare in wonder, still left a few steps behind. The sounds and symbols are grouped together to form words... and words are grouped together to form sentences... so sentences make up speech. It seems simple enough, yet confusing all the same. What words correspond with what items? Does everything pl a particular word?

She teaches them for a while longer before it is clear that their attention has drifted elsewhere. The red-haired boy had fallen asleep face-down onto his paper, while the blonde begins to drift off, struggling to stay awake. At the realization of this, the female gives a light-hearted laugh and closes the book of words and letters she had retrieved. She scoops them up and sits down on one of the chairs, cuddling them on her lap. Both boys make soft snoring sounds while the female watches over them protectively. I come to the conclusion that our lesson is over for the day and do with resting in my own space. Though my limbs are numb from staying still for so long, my mind buzzes with new information. I begin to experiment with these so called 'letters,' and try to figure them out. A is to apple, while B is to bird, and C is to cat. Even though I am clueless as to what these words mean, I still try to make sense of them.

I feel the sudden urge to stretch my legs and go outside for a while, fresh air will probably do me some good. Again, I leave my home to go out and explore the bright yellow field.

The sun is still high enough in the sky that I will probably return back when it is just beginning to sink past the mountains. I lose myself in the field, walking deeper and deeper into it. My fingers brush over every yellow petal I pass, feeling silky and smooth. I find this peaceful moment to again try out my speech.

"A, B,... C, D, E..." I have to think a moment about the next sound. "F... G, H-" Just before I can utter the next sound, I bump into something solid. I glance up to see what exactly it was that was blocking my path. The sight of a human-like frame causes me to jump. My eyes flicked up to it's face to search it for any signs of threat. It's jagged teeth and black eyes send shivers down my spine. Though after a moment, I allow my shoulders to relax. It was just a wooden human dressed in hay-stuffed clothing. I tilted my head, inspecting it closer. What was this sort of thing doing out here?

I hesitantly reach a hand out to feel it's rough linen clothing. A wooden post dressed in human clothes?

"Hmm..." I stretch my arms out in the same position and make a strange face. Perhaps the humans put this post out here to enjoy the yellow fields as well? Such an odd thing. As I stare at it longer and longer I feel an idea crawl it's way into my mind.

It does look quite similar to a human. Maybe I can make 'him' my friend too?

I hold up my hand and wave, smiling warmly. The post doesn't move, but I take it's silence as a returned greeting.

I spend the rest of the afternoon practicing speech with my new-found friend. He's a great listener! I feel so at home here in this field with my friend, and he may too feel the same even though he does not show it. As I feel the air cool and the sun begin to set, I must bid him farewell. With another wave and silent goodbye I am on my way back home for the night.

Slipping back through the door, I can already hear the family on the other side speaking with each other. I quicken my steps and sit down in my usual spot and get situated. The female's voice is gentle and soft while the male's voice compliment's it with it's slightly deeper tone. I peak through the crack to find the two older humans with either child on their laps. Each one has a book in their hands and is reading quietly to them, guiding the young children into sleep.

This scene brings a smile to my face. It is tender and sweet, a perfect ending to my very own perfect day. I can tell that this is only the beginning. I'll be learning much more as time passes, and everyday I'll be coming closer and closer to joining them. Even my friend out in the field will be proud of what I'll learn, and maybe, just maybe, my 'father' as well.

I cradle my head down into my scarf and gently pull the small human replica up to my chest. The hushed voices of my friends lulls me into a comfortable sleep.


	5. Still Alive

Arthur paced around his laboratory, his nails scratching at his scalp. He muttered incoherent ramblings of anger and hate. His white lab-coat swished around as he searched frantically for things that weren't visible to the normal eye. Paranoia hung around him like a thick black cloud.

"Where is it!? Why doesn't it show itself?" He hissed to himself. There was a sudden thump from the other side of the room. "What was that?" His head snapped to the side, his constricted pupils directed at the shadiest corner of the room. Behind his eyelids he could see the image of his creation burned into his mind. He could have swore he heard it. It was playing tricks on him again.

"Come out! Face me monster!" Arthur reached over and griped one of his candles in his fist. He saw something creep through the darkness in the corner of his eye. It was trying to catch him off guard! Letting out a terrified gasp, he quickly turned around. He saw a curved and grotesque smile accompanied by two soulless amethyst eyes staring back from the darkness. Without hesitation, he threw the candle at it. With a crash, the lit candle smashed against the wall, sending small droplets of hot wax out in all directions.

The face disappeared, leaving Arthur glancing warily all around himself. He felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder, causing him to jump. He sucked in a sharp breath and raised his fists, ready to attack the beast.

"Arthur, are you alright?" Francine's soft voice asked. Arthur's shoulders relaxed a bit, but his heart was still racing.

"W-what are you doing here Francine? The creature is lurking about again!" He glanced behind Francine as if the mention of it would cause the monster to sneak up on them again.

She gave a concerned frown. "You're scaring me Arthur, that thing left, you told me that, remember?"

Arthur could see the fear just below the surface of her deep blue eyes. She was terrified of the creature too, but chose to hide it. "I-I saw it, he- _it_ was in here! Please, just go tend to our child, leave me here to deal with this monster once and for all."

Arthur's head jolted to the side, his hands twitching. He thought he heard it again.

Francine frowned. "I have one of the maids taking care of Peter, you are the one I'm worried about right now Arthur." She rested a careful palm on his cheek, feeling his body quiver underneath. "You're going mad. The beast isn't here anymore."

The scientist shook his head. "You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong!" He bellowed. "That thing still haunts me! I'm to the point where I can't even stroll through the gardens without seeing it there... watching me. It's eyes Francine... their so lifeless and demonic..."

Francine pulled him into a hug, trying to return him back to reality. "It's alright now, we have much more pressing matters to worry about. It has been months since we saw it, the monster may be dead by now."

He kept his gaze straight ahead, not making any move to return the hug. Arthur wouldn't say it, he didn't want to worry her, but deep down, he knew, that monster was still alive out there... somewhere...

* * *

><p>I let out a chuckle as I walked back down to my favorite spot in the field of 'flowers.' -as I have heard them be called- It is late in the afternoon and I can just barely feel the warming rays of sunlight on my skin, although the biting wind makes it quite hard. Something about my surroundings tells me that a change is occurring. The 'berries' in which I rely on for food have become increasingly scarce over the long period of days that I've been here. The animals are also acting quite strange. They are beginning to burrow away in the holes of trees and little hiding spots in the ground. I wonder if this is somewhat like what I have done by residing in my shed. The flowers I take shelter among are also changing slightly. At first they were more vibrant and alive, but recently, their yellow petals have begun too wither along with the cluster of seeds that they harbor in the center. I feel a bit unnerved by this, but continue as normal anyway.<p>

I stopped right beside my friend and hold up my hand in a greeting gesture. As usual he is silent. I notice two little black 'birds' resting on his arms, letting out their loud and harsh crow. Perhaps they wish to join in on today's practice? The more the merrier. With a warm smile, I lean up against my friend and slide down onto the ground.

I continue were I left off the day before. "F-i-sh, c-a-t, b-ir-d, m-ow-se, d-o-g..." The words and their meanings flow strangely from my tongue, but I continue none-the-less. I find a great amount of fun in learning.

This is usually how my days go; wake up in the morning, find food, practice a bit with my friend, and observe my other friends. It's a system that I'd like to keep sound, but as the days become what humans call 'weeks' and 'months', I have found that this is no longer the case. Food is becoming more scarce, the outside is getting colder and colder, my beautiful field of flowers has withered and died, and my hopes above all have diminished. The only thing that I find to be mostly the same is my lessons. The 'mother' of her 'children' continues to teach the two boys, meaning that I can still progress through my language and intellect.

Then, out of the blue, something extraordinary happens, leaving me even more in awe at this strange place. White flakes have begun to shower down from the sky, usually accompanied by huge gusts of wind. The first time I went outside to check out this odd new substance, I was almost blown away by how extremely cold it was. It chilled deep into my flesh and bones, causing me to let out a surprised gasp and quickly run back inside for shelter. I decided that just watching it through the boarded off window would be a wiser decision. Though I had to wonder as I eyed each individual flake, how could something so warm and gentle looking be so cold and uninviting?

After the flakes begin to thin out, I decide to step back outside again and have another try. This time I wrap the long clothing around my neck tighter, hiding my face up to my nose into it. The air is still excruciatingly cold, but I am less surprised the second time over. I place one foot in front of the other and slowly walk out into the field of white that has blanketed over the once leaf-scattered land. The white freezes into my toes and causes my skin to drain of all color on contact. It's wet like water, but also puffy like animal fur. How peculiar.

My eyes wander upwards and I notice a small cloud floating in front of my face. It wanders away and disappears into the air. I frown. Where had it gone? Then I let out another breath and the cloud returns. My eyes widen in wonder. Am I breathing clouds? I swipe my hand through it, causing it to swirl around before disappearing again. This is all very interesting. To think that I had seen it all before now.

I take another step into the icy fluff and bend down to feel it with my hands. It numbs my finger-pads and sends a cold chill down my spine. When I retrieve my hands, I notice the hand-prints left behind. I step back and observe the two footprints sitting side by side.

An Idea strikes me and a smile slowly spreads across my face. I reach down and draw a little smiley-face in the fluff. A giggle rumbles in my throat and I draw another shape beside it resembling a lopsided heart. This was actually quite fun once I get used to the bitter cold. I couldn't wait until my friend heard of this!

When I returned back to the shelter of my shed a while later, I found that my friends had left their house. I smirked at the thought of them enjoying themselves in this wonderland as well. With a shrug, I turn back to my shed and ease myself onto the floor. I leaned closer to the wall, trying to soak up as much warmth as I could get. Inside the fire raged, providing enough heat to warm the whole house, and most importantly for me, the walls. My doll sat beside me, snuggled against my hip. I smiled down at it and lifted it into my arms. Even in the cold, I have found hope again.

Lessons go as normal when my friends return later that day and I tune in. The mother is teaching her children of the changing of what she calls 'seasons.' I am bewildered as she explains that the weather outside constantly changes throughout the year, going from warm to hot to chilly and cold. Presumably these seasons are always changing. This is a relief, as winter -even with it's few positives- really isn't my favorite.

Hunger slowly becomes a problem as well as warmth. When I observe my friends, I can see that they are also struggling for food. They begin to have smaller meals that look not so enticing. But, as rotten as the idea, I have the instinct to smuggle some. At the mere thought I feel shame and desperately try to change the topic. Though minutes later I am reminded by the grumble in my stomach that food is a necessity.

One day I can feel the thought become too overpowering. It takes a complete hold on my conscious and sets it aside. When the family leaves to go outside for more firewood, I seize my chance. As quick as a fox and as silent as a hare, I slip from my shed and come around the house. With a glance back in the direction their footsteps lead, I open the door and slink inside.

My body is instantly overtaken by a wave of warmth. All of my numbed and frozen limbs burst with heat, burning my cheeks and ears. I sigh heavily, closing my eyes in content. But again the task at hand drives me further. I shake off my little moment of pleasure and stride forward. The house seems so real from this side of the wall. It is almost like returning color to a grey world. The items I have seen the family use come to life. The open book lying on their table draws my attention and I reach down to pick it up.

"L-i-tt-le R-e-d R-ie-ding h-oo-d." I close it and admire it's vibrant cover. A little girl draped in a red cloak stands in the middle of a forest full of trees, glancing behind herself. Two yellow eyes stare back from the shadows topped with the outline of wolf ears. I tilt my head and flip the pages quickly with my finger. My eyes flick towards the door and back down at the book. Would they mind if I borrowed this for a bit as well? It would help me build my reading skills greatly. Then again, I am breaking into their home and stealing food...

Maybe if I just return it afterwards...

I slide the book into the large pocket of my coat and continue on my raid. If I am to get a few bites, I must work fast, they may return home at any moment. I spot a piece of bread sitting beside a few raw vegetables and my stomach growls painfully. Only one piece of bread, that's all I need. I take the bread and walk straight out, not allowing myself to be tempted by anything more. My curious mind can be my worst enemy at times.

I sit back down in my shed and quickly devour the small morsel of bread, reminding myself over and over that I had to steal for my own survival. Then images of the poor children coming home with disappointed frowns makes my half-empty stomach flip. I feel nauseous and guilty. This winter better end soon for the better of the all of us.

I never steal from them again after that point. They -like me- were also having trouble with food, but unlike me, they cannot survive for very long without it. So I do with what scrap I can scrounge up in the forest. It isn't much, but I will survive.

As for the book I had taken, they seem to barely notice. I am thankful for this at the least. Reading keeps me busy while storms rage outside, bringing more 'snow.' I also found another book in one of my coat pockets, though I am more curious towards this one. This new book has no title, but on the cover there is the letter "A" indented in gold. I set the other book I was borrowing to the side and begin to read until classes resume.

The writing is messy and written in such a way that makes it hard to differentiate letter to letter. It's wavy and messily scribbled, but I make due with the words I can make out.

Three pages in and I realize that this isn't a story book at all, but some sort of a journal in the point of view of a young man named "Arthur Kirkland." He is telling of his early days at something called a 'university' where he had learned skills beyond my comprehension. Soon I find myself gripped by his tale, unable to set my book down even when classes begin on the other side of the wall.

He keeps mentioning a project in which he quotes "... it defies all of the laws of god and man." This intrigues me, as I do not know much about these laws. I do know from hearing the mother and father converse that murder -the killing of another living breathing being- is looked down on and should never be attempted. That doesn't seem too hard. I've never felt the need to harm anything anyway.

But in Arthur's case, he states that it is not murder that he wishes to pursue, but something called 'resurrection.' He calls it a godly act, and that if he were to follow through and come out successful, then he a mere human, would have the power over his very own maker.

My eyes widen when I read the supplies that he would need to do such an act. He needs the perfect parts from several different corpses to create what he calls 'a new race of human.' Arthur goes to several different graveyards in the area and digs up any fresh bodies he can find, not caring of what species or sex he uses. He easily comes up with most of the parts, done in only a few months with that part of his job. Though there is one thing he knows he must have before any of the parts could be used.

The head of this creation he writes, is one of the hardest things to come by. He must find one with a mostly intact brain.

Arthur decides to sneak into one of the beheadings scheduled that afternoon and waits until the deed is done. Out in the middle of the crowd, he watches and waits with a cloak pulled over his face to hide it from site. As they go through several men, Arthur finds the perfect candidate. A young murderer named Ivan, whom was being beheaded for his serial murders against women.

The guillotine's blade drops and Arthur watches closely as the head falls neatly into the basket below.

This one he will take home.

Arthur waits until everyone begins to depart before sneaking over to steal Ivan's head. He wraps it in the coat he had looted off of another corpse days before and makes his way back to his laboratory. The hardest part for him, was escaping the area without being spotted.

I stop reading a moment to reflect. So he picked the head of a criminal named Ivan, who had gone against the laws of god and man by killing others, but now he plans to break that same code? How strange.

Ivan... That name feels familiar...

My eyes flick back down to the corresponding page to begin reading again.

Once back into the safety of his lab, he immediately sets back to work. The brain inside is almost untouched, the only problem being the internal bleeding that had occurred due to the severing of the spinal cord. He fixes it without a problem and attaches it to the other body parts he had collected.

It takes him several months to complete his work and polish up on his studying, but as he nears the middle of his journal, he is almost ready. A perfect storm, that is all he must wait for. He describes in the meantime about his wife. Arthur seems very excited for another important event in his life in which his son would be born.

As I read I slowly begin to understand that this man was no ordinary person. He is very strange in his thinking, almost as if digging up the corpses of the dead and sewing their parts together has no effect on him.

The next page he writes atrociously as if in a hurry, stating only that the time has come. There I find that his notes end.

My eyebrows pull together and a flip a few more pages. What time has come? What was he talking about?

Then I find something in the back of the journal that intrigues me, drawings. A small smile spreads across my features and I glance excitedly towards them. My mood instantly lowers. These aren't beautiful like the ones I had seen in the other book, nor were they colorful like those that the children draw. They are drawings of the limbs and tissues he used to sew his creation together.

I almost want to put the book back down, but something tells me to keep looking. Something familiar... I flip the next pages, watching as internal body parts pass by, landing on one that shows a diagram of an arm. It, like my own, has jagged scars all over it's surface. I look down at my own arm, curious now.

My heart skips a beat.

No, it can't be.

I flip to the next page, feeling my stomach churn. Two intense eyes stare back and I almost throw the book. A spitting image of my own face, perfectly drawn down to the smallest details, it is still horrifying. It can't be true. I flip a few more pages, my breath hitching in the back of my throat. Every body part I come into contact with looks exactly like my own. A grim realization leaves me temporarily paralyzed.

Arthur Kirkland... was my creator!? But how?!


	6. Conflicting emotions

"These aren't my body parts!" I yelp in terror. The words rolled off of my tongue so strangely, yet I know exactly what I meant. My eyes flick back and forth from my arms to my other limbs. I grab my head or- Ivan's head, and try to contain my utter horror. These are not my limbs. These are dead people's limbs. I am a patchwork corpse.

I find it hard to breathe as my panic rises. It made too much sense. I remember watching the children play outside and learn indoors, not once having it occur to me that I had not felt that way in my incredibly short life. I don't remember ever starting at a small age, having loving parents care for me. No, I was brought into this world by a lunatic. One day I just became, there was no fatherly love from Arthur. But the word had come to me so naturally my first night alone.

Father...

I lost my usually calm and collected mood, feeling my muscles quake and shiver. It can't be true, it isn't right! My vision blurred, I could feel wet streaks begin to trail down my face. I just wanted to be normal like everyone else, not some ungodly creature!

I quickly stand up, curling my arms around myself to better steady my shaking. No, I have to stay calm, if I so much as make a sound then the family on the other side of the wall would hear me. If they hear me and perhaps even discover me, then everything in my life would come crashing down. I have to keep calm.

"It doesn't matter how I came to be, I am here now, aren't I? R-right?" I whisper to myself, trying to smile.

But I mine as well not be. New questions flood my mind. Was I the only one of my kind? Was Arthur the only madman to come up with such a cruel birth? Or is someone else also inflicted with this curse?

The thought fails to comfort me. I cannot keep calm, I'm too shaken to gather myself up. What monster has he made me into!? I lean against the wall and take a deep breath.

No, this hasn't changed anything. I've been fine up until this point.

But this means that humans would never accept me...

There are voices on the other side of the door, troubled voices. They wonder what's making the sounds coming from their wall.

I must leave, they don't deserve to see my horrid face. A rotten feeling spread throughout my body. With quick and panicked movements, I gather up what little I own and slip back out of the shed. I don't dare look back in fear that they have already found me. My stride lengthens until I find myself in a trot, then a full out run. My feet crunch in the snow and my breathing is ragged. I don't know where I'm going, just somewhere- not here.

Trees blur as more tears come to my eyes. I know that I'm leaving my home that I had grown to love, but this reality is too much. My emotions had taken over me. I can never fit in with this family of humans. They would never accept me for the monster that I am. If there is one thing that I know from my several months of learning from them, it's that humans are not created in the way I was. It takes two humans to make one, not one single male.

I am not human, but a living shell of several others. I am _revolting._

My feet guide me deeper and deeper into once familiar forest. Now the ground and surrounding plants are caked in sheets of snow and ice rendering them unidentifiable. I feel like this is the direction that I must take. It leads to something.

Answers. Yes, that's what I need. I need answers for the millions of questions that I unearthed with the finding of Arthur's book. Why did he create me? And why in such an ugly form...

For the next few days I survive solely on small barely-growing plants beneath the snow. I feel my emotions change. They sway and thunder like a fast-traveling storm. When lightning strikes I can feel rage overcome me. Arthur made me this, he made me unlike them on purpose. He wants to see my torment. I can imagine his smug face at the sight of his pitiful creation huddled for shelter in the biting winter. He wants me to be helpless and alone. I know the word for him, a word that causes a bitter taste in the back of my throat. He is evil.

I was created to be alone. I was created a _monster_.

It makes too much sense.

He cowered at the sight of me when I first awoke because he knew; he knew I wouldn't stay this way. I can feel it burning in my soul. It rages like a wildfire, burning all my later thoughts of harmony. Once I found out his motives, I would surely ruin him.

And he was right.

I can feel it stew and swirl. This world is not as innocent as I last thought. This world is stained with the filth of evil. Arthur Kirkland is evil. He crossed the clear lines set by his fellow man foolishly, and he would pay. I will show him the consequences of his actions.

But my contradicting thoughts cause me to pause in my angered trudge through the snow.

Things happen for a reason as said by my female 'friend'. Surely, something good must come of this, right? I am to do something worth living, right? I will face my maker with a level head; show him that I've bent along with the curves of this confusing world.

Or do I make him suffer? Show him that creating me was not with reason.

A lesson must be learnt by someone, but who must be the pupil and who must be the instructor?

Was Arthur's reasons for creating me to show me that life is not always fair from the start? Am I supposed to come back and show him that I've come over life's challenges?

"Gah!" I shake my head to clear it. All of these thoughts are much too confusing.

I think I've made up my mind. I should approach him calmly.

But as I hate it so much, my mind shifts against itself again. The fire burning in my chest begins to crackle again. Animalistic fury writhes and boils, held loosely beneath the surface of my skin, turning my face red. I want to kill him, I really truly do. But what would that make me? I too would be crossing the lines of man.

Is killing him truly the thing to do?

I am instantly torn from my thoughts with a distant sound to my left. A twig snaps and the snow below weight groans. My head snaps to the side and I stare at the source with wide glassy eyes much like that of a doe.

A bush that has survived into winter rustles a bit before becoming completely still. I can feel my anger leave me for the time being, replaced by raw fear. My muscles twitch, ready to spring into action at any moment.

Is this a wolf that my 'friends' had described in stories? Was it stalking me as it's prey? I must know for sure, but I am unsure of how to approach such a dangerous beast. My body becomes very still and I wait for it to make the first move, knowing nothing better to do. As I eye the bush cautiously, I can see the gleam of something silver. Definitely not a wolf. What else do I know that can be silver?

Before I can decide, I hear a click and my eyes widen. Clicks aren't good. I don't know anything that clicks. My breathing quickens and I move to run. As I thrust my foot forward to carry myself in a sprint, I hear something explode. My ears begin to ring and my knees buckle before anything registers. All I see is light where trees and snow used to be. I begin to panic even more. What's going on!?

Just a second later I feel the pain shoot up my spine and I scream. I lose all coordination, scrambling to stand up. Blood rushes in my ears and I immediately feel my instincts peek. Something moves behind me, it's presence growing taller. I snap my head to the side to see what it is. The colors of the forest are spinning too quickly for me to make out anything more than a big dark shape in the bushes. My hearing slowly returns and I can hear a human's voice.

"I got'em! Come quickly before It tries to get away!" The voice is rugged and masculine.

I do not know what is happening, but I do know that it is in no way good. Their presence looms over me and I can see their dirty unshaven face. They smile a yellow toothy smile and narrow their bleak hateful eyes. "Ugh, It's even more repulsive in person." He scoffs.

My nose scrunches up into a snarl and I scrape the earth and snow from beneath myself. I smash my palm in their face, rubbing the muddy substance all over their eyes.

I can hear their piercing howl as I beginning to advance. My heart pounds faster as I gain power over them. I push them to the ground easily, wrapping my large hands around their neck. His eyes are wide now, mirroring my earlier horrors. They struggle beneath my grasp, but it is no use. I grit my teeth and lift one hand to ball it up. He shakes his head desperately coughing out unintelligible apologies. I send it smashing into his face, lifting it again and again, over and over pounding his face in. My control slips away, the only thing on my mind is survival. I can feel the blood welling up on my knuckles, scrapped from bone. Sickening sounds echo in the once silent plane. He stops struggling quickly, his body growling limb.

Another human emerges from the place he had been hiding. I hear another click, but I am quick to respond this time. Turning away from the bloody mess beneath me, I stare angrily at the other male. I growl and throw myself at him. He too was not aware of my strength and it easily brought down. He is younger than the other, lacking any facial hair.

Evil just the same. I punch his chest, causing him to cough up what air was left in his lungs. He screams with his final bit of air before I begin to destroy his face as well. All of my rage I had built up for the past few days is finally sated. I feel so terrible about what I'm doing afterward of course, but for now, It was amazing.

A feeling of pure ecstasy. It runs in my veins with adrenaline. I felt like I could destroy anything, perhaps beat others into submission. If they are not willing to accept me, then I will show them.

Arthur leaves my mind. I do not care of my origins, but of this gift of strength that has come with my awful appearance.

After I've had my fun, I roll off of the corpse below me and stand up. I search the two bodies of the men, finding some money, a note for reading later, a few playing cards and a map. As I back away to observe my work, all I can do s smile. It feels strange to smile at this sort of thing, as it does not bring me the same type of joy as flowers and friends, but right all the same. The snow is red with their blood, their weapons lying beside them never to be used again. I also take a note that these silver sticks are to be avoided as well.

I begin to trek forward again, though I still am without a destination. The pain in my side, I realize, is growing worse. I stop beside a stream to take a drink and check the source for my pain. With the rushing water I am saved my reflection and given ice-cold water fresh from the mountain. I carefully sink to my knees, hissing as an unexpected spike of searing pain overcomes me. My clothes are stained red from the blood of my victims, but also centered around the wound in my side. I slowly peel the cloth from the area, grunting as the cold air touches my flesh. A hole was torn in the cloth, continuing through my abdomen. I bite my lip and carefully wipe away the access blood. A round wound is dug right above my hip. Inside I find a silvery metal ball hidden amongst all of the blood. I close my eyes and swallow hard. I must get it out.

I use my thumb and forefinger to pick at it, causing more blood to flow from the wound. It takes me much too long to eventually get it out, by the time I hold it in my palm I can feel my eyelids weigh heavily. The water below runs red with my blood. I toss the ball into the water and wash my hands. The pain coming from my belly is burning hot, agitated by my picking. I let out a huge, shaky sigh and clean it out with fresh water. My eyes wander to my clothing sitting beside me, a frown tugging at my lips. The coat and shirt are torn and bloodied from my struggle, the scarf fared better with only a bit of red splotches on it's surface. I sigh again and rinse my hands off in the water. As I slip my clothes back on, I can feel chills run down my spine. Their wetness freezes to my skin, causing them to fuse onto my body..

Tonight I put in the extra effort to find shelter, finding it in an uninhabited cave nearby. I curl up in my coat and set my things down beside myself before falling into a shallow sleep.

In the morning I already know that it was not enough to fully replenish my energy. I can feel my body aching and the wound in by belly throb with heat. Getting up isn't an option this morning. I roll over with a groan and reach my hand over to the pile of useless items I collected. I discard the money and cards as they are less important than the map and note. My curiosity is as weak as my body, but just enough to keep my interest in these things.

I set the map down and pull the note to my face. The writing is frighteningly familiar as I begin to read.

_"Dear Joseph P._

_It has come to my attention that you are one of the top hunters in our county, and I am willing to make you a business offer. You see, one of my experiments has gone terribly wrong a few months ago, and I fear that it may be a danger to me and my family. With a new child at home and a wife to tend to, I cannot take care of this deed myself. That is where you come in my dear Joseph, I am offering you a generous sum of money to take care of this atrocity for me. I have hired a few of the other skilled hunters that I have chosen worthy throughout the country to do this as well, and whom ever can bring me this monster's head first may reap the reward. I trust that you will not disappoint me on this task. May your hunt be bountiful._

_Sincerely,_

_Arthur Kirkland."_

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. My hand that had been carefully holding the note crushed it effortlessly and I threw it against the cave wall. I cannot believe this. As if I wasn't lying low before, now I had hunters tracking me down. I felt frustrated, my rage beginning to build up again. Arthur Kirkland sure was a slippery snake, hiring others to kill me rather than himself. A coward is what he is. I'd rather him come after me in person than have him send his dogs on me. If I could just wrap my hands around that scrawny little neck of his, I would feel such relief.

Now I was being hunted, I had no idea where they could be. I must delay my aimless travel until I can wrap my head around all of this madness.

I allowing myself a moment for my anger to recede before picking up the map. It was a detailed drawing of the surrounding area and on the other side it included a much larger map of what I assumed to be farther lands. He had red markings labeled all around the area, circles and arrows pointing in places that his hunters had been distributed. They were practically everywhere in the UK. Where was I to go now?

I glanced up at the one circled in blue black. It was a castle looking place with small writing labeled; "Kirkland estate." I then looked over to the other spot that had been labeled in black. This must be where I am as it has the hunter's name beside it.

My eyebrows lifted. I was actually traveling farther from his home, going north-east rather than west. I frowned and flipped the map over to view the world. A red circle was drawn around the islands called the "United Kingdom" beside the main group of shapes labeled; "Europe." I read each one, pronouncing their names how I saw fit.

I have to hide from Arthur, so perhaps this "Europe" was the perfect place? There are no circles drawn anywhere else, so he must not be searching that far yet. I thought of my direction currently. What if I was to keep traveling in the same direction? What is the place that is farthest north on this map? My eyes wander around a bit before I find the perfect place.

"Russia" And even further in this country was a smaller label; "Siberia."

Yes, that sounds suitable. I flipped the map back over. The route for hunters seemed to clear a bit the farther north it got. I noticed that the land much like it was now, was colored white. The answer hit me like a tidal wave.

Humans aren't very tolerant to cold, if I was to travel to the coldest most northward place on this map, than maybe I could outrun Arthur? Staying here isn't an option. If I was to keep traveling here, he will surely discover and inevitably kill me.

Siberia it is.

The morning passes into the afternoon and I force myself to stand up and move. I gather my things and take a deep breath. My mind is made up, I am to travel to this wintry place and keep out of Arthur's sights. This land is also more vast than any other, making it unlikely that anyone would find me. Perhaps here I will find solitude to which I can live a quiet life.

This new decision makes me feel a bit jittery. My new life is just a quarter of a world away, waiting for me. I think of turning back on my path, but it is short lived as I imagine the wonderful things I will experience on the way. Hiding my whole life is no way to live.

I don't care how many people I must kill to get there, as long as I can be freed of this cloud of worry and dread that constantly hangs over my shoulders. Some rules are meant to be broken, while others should be left to god.


	7. Welcome to Siberia!

Madeline walked in step behind her brother, setting her feet in his footprints. The snow was deep, at least up to her hips. Luckily for them, their guide had lended each of them a pair of snowshoes. The Russian man's smile was still burned into her mind, his eyes sparkling with joy at the sight of them. Even though he spoke little English he had been more than happy to help them to their cabin.

About a month ago the two siblings arrived in Russia, where they were brought by carriage and by foot to the heart of Siberia. Madeline tried her best to enjoy the scenery and keep positive despite the fear lingering in her subconscious. Three months prior they had been given the task of hunting down a "creature that even god could never create." It was described to be almost seven feet tall with horrifying scars covering its whole body. Their employer, Arthur Kirkland, had stressed that they proceed with caution. He told them of the dangers that would face them in the negative temperatures of Siberia and most importantly the beast that lingers its mountainside. Alfred was hesitant as was Madeline, but when her brother heard of the promised pay, the word "yes" had slipped from his tongue without his permission.

The next few weeks consisted of long horse rides, even longer and more nauseating travel by ship, and an overwhelming amount of new places and people. Madeline was homesick by the first week, begging her brother to turn back. Alfred, although quick to say things, disagreed. He said that the money they would be rewarded for killing the beast was enough to pay for their lives three times over.

Madeline didn't see what made death worth any kind of fancy coin. Unfortunately, she would never abandon her brother, he was her only blood relative still alive. Without their parents, Alfred was to protect her on his own, which is why he took so well to hunting. Anything with a sharp edge or the ability to shoot excited him. Whenever something posed a threat to her he'd either kick their ass or kill them, most of the time taking the first choice. But if a man was to so much as glance her way he would have himself in a strangle hold with a knife to his throat. Madeline loved her brother and all of his flaws, but she was twenty-three and ready to find herself a husband soon. She felt deeply saddened knowing that Alfred would never let her bring a man home with her. Then he'd end up having Alfred's latter specialty used against him.

"How are you doing back there Maddie?" Alfred's voice broke into her thoughts.

Madeline blinked a few times, returning back to reality. She glanced around them, realizing that they had traveled quite a ways while she was daydreaming. "I'm just a bit chilly, but otherwise fine."

"We'll be back at the cabin in about fifteen minutes, I'll get the fireplace nice and cozy for you, alright? I'm going to have to leave again to resume my hunt. I left the rifle loaded on my bed if you need it."

Madeline felt her stomach twist. She didn't want to imagine having to use it. "Alright, but will you please be careful? I'm worried about you."

Alfred gave a subtle nod. "You know I'll be fine, Maddie. Hunting beasts is what I do, this aint' any different."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't want you to get hurt, I love you Al."

He made a light hum. "I love you too Maddie, that's why I want you to be safe. Siberia is just about the worst place to get lost in. You heard what our guide said, no staying out at night past eight 'o' clock without extra gear, and no walking around without a weapon. The grizzly bears and wolves are huge up here, not to mention my target is said to be roaming around these mountains." Alfred instinctively tightened his grip on the rifle strap hung over his shoulder.

"I understand." Maddie murmured, staring down at the ground.

They continued to travel until they reached their cabin, where they both piled in and set down their bags. Alfred set the bags of bread and fish he had bought down on the dining table. Madeline sat down at the table and took off her shoulder bag. She set it down beside the food and pulled out her journal.

Alfred tilted his head, a look of confusion on his face. "You're still taking notes for your instructor? What kinds of interesting things could you be writing about?"

Maddie opened to the current date and shrugged. "He said to just write about the highlights of my day, nothing more nothing less. I'm twenty-three Al, I'm just in the beginning of my apprenticeship. My first lesson is to learn how to take good notes. Yao said that this would teach me how to be observant and precise." She began to write about the morning's happenings while Alfred watched.

"You lost me at 'blah blah notes blah blah Yao."

Madeline felt a smile creep onto her face. "Real funny Al, you asked so I answered."

He smiled. "I know, but I just do that to see how confusing you can make things." They both shared a short laugh before he turned towards the fireplace. "Alright, I'd better light that for you and get going, daylight's burning."

"Mmhmm." Maddie nodded, her focus more on writing than what her brother had said.

Alfred walked over and knelt down beside the fireplace. He picked up a piece of wood beside it and threw it in, chucking in a few more. A cloud of ash from the previous fire puffed up around him for a moment before settling back down. He lit the wood using flint and blew on the flame. The fire began to grow, spreading through the wood like a ravenous animal devouring its prey. He smiled victoriously and stood back up. Alfred strode back over to the table and picked up his rifle.

"Alright, I'm back on my way out, if I'm not back by dusk have a candle in the window for me. It get's extremely dark out here like you'd never believe." He said.

Madeline nodded, closing her journal. "Oh I understand by now, good luck Al and stay out of trouble. Please, I mean that." She stressed the last sentence with great worry.

Alfred smiled. "You know I can't promise that, trouble always seems to find me."

She frowned. "Please."

He nodded. "I'll try sis." Alfred leaned over and planted a sweet kiss on her forehead. "Try not to worry about me too much, you'll make yourself sick."

"Okay." Maddie said. She watched as he turned around and left through the front door, plummeting the cabin in silence once more. A horrible feeling overcame her, causing her to hold back tears.

_He's going to get himself killed out there..._

Madeline strode over to the fireplace and sat in front of it, pulling her legs to her chest. She frowned, staring at the fire. Her eyes burned with tears threatening to fall. She hated it here, she hated Arthur for making them come, she hated her brother for leaving alone, she hated being afraid, but most of all, she hated being so weak.

"I should be out there with Al, hunting that horrifying creature." She turned her head to the side and stared at their beds in the extremely small cabin. Alone on Alfred's bed sat the loaded rifle he had promised. Madeline felt sick to her stomach again. "Please be safe Alfred... Please... be okay."

* * *

><p>Alfred gripped his rifle tight in his hands, his teeth gritted and his eyes narrowed fiercely. He had to stay aware of every movement in and out of his field of vision, danger could be anywhere: A moving shadow, the snap of a twig, the low breathing of an approaching being, the sound of snow crunching under foot, dead silence... He slowed his breathing and quieted his steps as he slowly slipped into a predatory state of mind. Out here it was kill or be killed. Bears and wolves took any chance they could to have a quick meal, not to mention <em>other<em> predators.

He glanced left and right before turning behind a tree. Alfred pulled a map from his coat pocket and unraveled it. It was torn and stained yellow from being in Arthur's study for so long, untouched until just recently. He hovered his finger above it for a moment, searching for his location. Looking up, he saw the trail of smoke rising from their cabin. He looked back down and placed his finger on the approximate area he was at. Red lines and x's dotted the whole map, most being made from Arthur. When he had received it, the englishman traced all of the areas his colleagues had spotted the creature. They had followed the creature all throughout europe, losing countless men along the way. Once arriving in Siberia, they found that the creature took on a particular pattern, keeping to certain areas for the most part. Though they knew where it was, they still did not have the skill to take it down. That's where Alfred came in. He had claimed to be the best hunter in all of the english islands and perhaps all of europe. He and his sister had gone on hunting trips such as this for as long as he could hold a gun. The work was for the most part easy and the pay was outstanding. If he finished this task successfully, he wold be able to retire for the rest of his life with Madeline. Arthur was a rich man after all.

Alfred found the nearest red circle and looked up, he glanced around and made sure the coast was clear. No sign of anything living. He nodded to himself and slipped the map back into his coat, gripping his gun in his hands tighter. Under his breath, he muttered _"I will find you monster, it will only be a matter of time."_

He walked forward, keeping a watchful eye of his surroundings. His eyes wandered down to the ground where fresh glittering snow lie, little speckles of snow from the trees dotting it's surface. He felt a small jolt of energy, be it excitement or anxiousness he was unsure. A pair of human-like footprints pierced a trail in the icy ground leading away from where he stand. Alfred glanced forward to where they led and narrowed his eyes. They stretched far ahead, disappearing behind miles of trees and bare shrubbery. It wasn't much, as the creature could be hours ahead of him, but he now had its general whereabouts. He began to follow the trail, a cocky grin lighting his face. His pace quickened as he felt his courage rise. If he killed the beast now, he would finally be able to leave this icy hell. He wouldn't let it get away like last time.

The sun was barely visible behind the wall of clouds in the sky, giving off just enough dreary light for the snow covering the ground to become almost blinding. Alfred felt his eyes beginning to feel tired after looking down at the ground for so long. He could already feel the temperature of the air cool as dusk was only a few hours away. Alfred blinked a few times and growled to himself. He rubbed his eyes and opened them wide to try and focus. There was no way he was going to stop his search for his fatigued eyes, not when he was so close. He could almost feel the monster's presence, it was a thickness in the air that felt somewhat unnatural. Normal life had an aura of being, of purpose, but this creature felt so... dead. Alfred didn't know how he could sense such things, he guessed that it just had been an ability of his since birth. He could feel the presence of his prey when he knew he was close. Foxes had an agile mood to them, always ready to run or kill, while rabbits where always aware of possible predators and what time was right to flee. While bigger game like wolves or stags were more broad and calm. Alfred guessed that this was why he was such a good hunter, he became one with his surroundings and took his place as the top of the food chain.

Though now, standing here within range of this beast, he felt denounced of his title. Something about the creature was off, it possessed a strange mindset, one that was unreadable to him. Perhaps this was due to it being more of a human-like hunt. He had never tracked down a human before.

Alfred suddenly felt a sickness grip his body and his courage dwindle. What if he couldn't kill this thing? What if he was to die just like the rest of the men before him?

He glanced around warily, feeling it's presence surrounding him. What if it knew he was here? Alfred tried to contain his breathing, feeling fright claw at him. The sound of crunching snow came from his far right, causing him to jar from his frightened thoughts. He snapped his body to the side and pointed his gun forward. He heard a low growl coming from behind a collection of trees. His heart was racing now. Alfred rested his finger on the trigger and took a long breath. He had to keep calm, show no fear.  
>The beast drew closer, it's heavy feet crunching into the snow. Alfred's eyes widened when he saw what revealed itself.<p>

A large brown mass of muscle and razor sharp claws shouldered into the clearing with him. Its beady black eyes stared at him in anger, another low growl emitting from it's throat. _A hungry grizzly..._

Alfred felt a spike of fear shoot through him. The grizzly wasn't looking for a peaceful trek through the woods, it wanted blood, _his_ blood. He struggled to aim his rifle at the bear's head, but as it heaved onto its hind legs, standing several feet above him, it let out an enormous roar, showing large, pointed, yellow teeth. Alfred pulled the trigger, not registering exactly where he had aimed. The air filled with smoke as he heard it roar again, charging forward. Al screamed out in fear and fell back into the unforgiving snow.

* * *

><p>Madeline stared out the window, worry hanging thick in the air around her. Nightfall was almost set in and she hadn't seen any sign of her brother. Every time she thought she saw something move in the darkness her mind would make up the image of her brother's usual cocky smile, only to find that it was only her imagination. She had already lit a candle for him in the window and was now watching as the wax poured into the small golden dish. Maddie thought the worst. What if he was lost out there in the wilderness? Did he get injured? Or had the monster caught him? There were too many horrible possibilities for such a young man like him. She only had a few things to reassure herself with. Alfred was the best survivalist she knew and could find his way out of almost anything, and he would never leave her alone in this world even if he would have to spit in the lord's face to do so. He would always find a way to get back to her, that's just the way he was.<p>

Though as night settled in and the howls in the distance became more prominent, she feared that he might not have that power anymore.

"Alfred, please come home, you're scaring me." She whispered to herself.

Madeline decided to wait for three more hours, and if Alfred did not come within that time, she would have to find him herself. If he was in trouble, it would not be too late for her to help. She would prove to him that she was not weak and that she could be of use.

In the back of her mind, she could hear his voice echo with his warning. "_You are to stay in the cabin at all costs, if something happens to me then I don't want you to be caught up in it too."_

"Bull."

She stood up and turned to their beds. "I can't take it any longer, if I stay idle any longer I think I might go mad." Madeline knelt down beside her own bed and reached her arm beneath it. Her fingers brushed against a smooth glass surface and she gripped for the metal wire attached. She pulled out a decent sized oil lamp and picked up the small box of matches on her bedside table. Madeline stood up and walked over to her brother's bed and picked up the rifle lying on his pillow. Maddie rubbed her thumb over the name etched into the handle, taking a deep breath. _I can do this. _She thought.

She walked over to the table and set everything down except for the matches. Madeline struck one match and lit the oil lantern and picked her jacket off of the back of her chair. She slipped it on and buttoned it up, picking everything else up in the process. Her mind swirled with worry as she hurried to the door and quickly ran out into the night. The only thing she couldn't keep out of her mind was the horrible images that had been haunting her ever since entering Siberia. The monster was out here, not to mention the other beasts and animals, she had to be cautious.

Madeline trudged through the snow, holding her lantern a few inched from herself, the rifle held tightly in her other hand. "Alfred!?" She called. "Alfred!? Where are you!?" She felt the icy air burn her throat with every breath. Her pace quickened, she felt like the darkness was watching her like the eyes of a hungry predator. Maddie glanced around, moving the lantern to view the surrounding forest. "Alfred!?" She had no idea what direction she was traveling in, she just hoped that Alfred would show himself soon. Again she called, "Alfred?!" and again, there was no answer. Madeline kept traveling, feeling more wary with every step. The snow seemed to suck her in like a flowing sea, she had forgotten to change into her snowshoes. She glanced briefly behind herself. Just barely visible in the darkness was a lone flame of the candle from the cabin. Maddie whined and moved forward. The snow melted against her stockings and left a wet numbness that ate all the way to her bones. Their guide wasn't lying when he said that it got incredibly cold during the night. She felt shivers running up and down her spine like panicked rats, and her teeth were chattering much too loud. "A-Alfre-" Her voice cut short as a loud thunk echoed from under her feet. Madeline glanced down and moved the light to better see. _That's not good... _She tilted her head in confusion. What was that? Another loud thunk traveled across the plane, sending a fearful chill down her spine. It sounded a lot like ice breaking...

Madeline's eyes widened and she gasped. A sudden realization shot through her like lightning. "Sh-shit!" She screamed, lifting her legs out of the snow as fast as she could. Another ear-splitting scream ripped from her throat as the ground opened beneath her feet. Her body was immediately engulfed in ice-cold water as she was dragged under. Madeline's eyes bulged with the pain tearing through her body. Her lungs were half full of air as she fought to swim to the surface. Her heart was pounding in fear, she couldn't move her limbs. The shock of the icy water left her paralyzed. Everything was happening so fast, she couldn't possibly grip anything. Bubbles floated to the surface as she let out the air she could hold no longer. Madeline fought to move, but her body no longer wished to try. A small weak cry spilled into the surrounding water.

"Al...fred..." She barely noticed as the world slowly quieted and her body became numb nothingness.


	8. A Girl?

The stars in the sky were just beginning to twinkle into life, dotting the sky one after another. I always loved the beautiful colors that danced around in the sky here exclusively, they were much prettier than the gloomy skies of England. With this perfect cold and clear night, I felt like I could view the entire world, as a matter of fact, I felt like I was on top of it. There was no one here to bug me and no one here to track me down like an animal. Here in Siberia, I felt more at home than anywhere else. Sometimes I even forgot my past and horrifying reality and just allow myself to escape in the scenery, letting the icy winds to take me where they please.

I took a deep breath of the night air and let it out in a puff of white wisps. The snow beneath me felt soft and numbing, though by now I was glad to have built a resistance to it. I cuddled my scarf closer and hummed. This is truly the best feeling I've every experienced, though I only know few words to describe it, one comes to mind first; _freedom_. I gently eased myself into a lying position, resting my head into the snow like a pillow. The snow groaned as I sunk in a few inches, bringing a small smile to my face. Though my body was freezing cold and my fingers were numb, I could feel a growing warmth inside. This is what I'd hoped for ever since leaving my birthplace; peace of mind. No yapping dogs at the stroke of midnight in the pursuit of the hunt, no massive explosions and flaring light, no angered shouts, no more shallow sleeping from shed to shed with the worry of being discovered, none of that. Now I was free to my own existence in the middle, or rather, top of nowhere. And the best thing yet: No more huma-

I was jolted from my musing as a piercing cry tore through the air. My hands flew to my ears and I winced._ God did I hate loud sounds_. I sat up quickly, brushing the snow from my shoulders and back. "What was that?" The question drifted from my ice-cold lips as I glanced around in confusion. I could have swore that I heard a scream...

Another scream rang out, cut out quickly and unnaturally. I flew to my feet and warily glanced in all directions. That was no animal. All of my previous thoughts faded away to be replaced by worry. I started to walk in the direction it came from, tilting my head. Something was wrong, what had happened now of all times?

I quickened my pace a bit as the silence began to stretch on. The farther I trekked the more anxious I became. What if they'd already died out here? Humans cant survive out in the cold for long as it is.

A gasp escaped my throat as something came into view, a hole in the ground? I stopped abruptly and stared down at the ground. This must be the beginning of the great lake. I bent down and dug away at the snow, clearing it off of a clear film of water. My eyebrows lifted and I looked back towards the hole. They must have fallen in. Now I was really worried, what if I had taken too long? They could be dead any second now!

I carefully placed my feet farther apart than usual and hurried over the ice. I felt my heart leap into my throat after every step. Any misstep could result in my own watery grave. After a few more agonizing minutes, I reached the hole. I slowly bent down to my knees and peered inside. The water was too deep and dark to see anything, only the stars and silhouette of my face shone back. I panicked, swishing my hand through the water in search of something. Nothing but unforgiving icy-water. I glanced back and forth, finding only a smashed lantern. I stared hopelessly at the water, frowning. _I'm seriously going to hate this..._

I unraveled my scarf and set it on the ice a few feet away, throwing my jacket on top. Chills instantly shot up my spine as the cold slapped against my skin. Without another moment to spare, I dove in feet first.

The water hit me like an icy explosion, snapping my eyes open in shock. Air bubbled up from my nose as I tried to delve deeper. I felt around with my hands in the pitch darkness, hoping against all odds for something. A twinge of relief burst in my chest when I felt something solid just below me. I reached forward and nudged it; a body. It was limp, drifting downward towards the bottom of the lake. I pushed forward and managed to wrap my arm around them. Quickly with time ticking against my own breath, I swam to the surface. I exploded out of the water, gasping and hurrying to pull the body up and out. The air stung like hot needles, freezing my hair to my skin. I shook like crazy, blundering to throw the body onto the ice and pull myself up. Once they were out with a thud, I threw myself up as well. The snow froze like a blanket of death, burning to the bone. I hurriedly grabbed the body and my clothing and bundled up. My eyes skimmed over them with worry.

It was a young woman, her blonde hair darkened with water and pulled into two pigtails that stuck to the base of her neck. I frowned, picking up her wrist. She was still alive, if only barely. With as much care as I could spare, I wrapped my scarf around her neck and pulled her into a better position to hold. I moved as fast as I could while still being careful towards my home. She was so cold, I feared the worst...

The moment I got back to the barn, I felt like I was going to collapse. I slammed the doors shut behind myself and quickly set her down on a pile of hay. She jittered every few moments while I shakily bolt the doors to keep the cold out. We're both soaking wet, our clothes almost completely frozen to our skin. I work quickly to wrap my coat around her properly, discovering a large gash in her leg. My coat is stained with even more blood. I frown as I view her as a whole. She looked pitifully cold and half dead with her paled skin.

I strode over to the stalls where I keep most of my supplies. A first-aid box sat on one of the shelves while a horse blanket lay crinkled in the corner where I had left it the morning before. It wasn't much but it's all I have to work with. I grabbed both of them and returned to the girl. Kneeling down beside her, I wrapped the blanket over her, pulling it up to reveal her injured leg. Blood streamed from it like a sluggish river, running down her calf and into her shoe. I opened the box and pulled out a roll of bandages. My eyes flicked up to her face with worry, I cannot keep my thoughts silent.

_What am I doing? This doesn't feel right..._

I ignore them and continue to bandage the wound to stop the bleeding. The bandages grow red around the gash, though I try to keep pressure on it. My hands shook too much, it's getting hard to keep them steady. I reached the end of the bandages and carefully smoothed it down while I leaned to the side and retrieve a pin. Once it is safely secured I pull the blanket back over her and press my palm to my forehead. I heaved a shaky sigh and tried to calm myself. Everything was happening way to fast for me to comprehend. I took another deep breath and held it before exhaling.

"It's okay... You have a human in your home now, but that's alright. You just risked your life for them, but that's fine too. They're sleeping with your blanket and that's... okay." I felt a groan rumble in my throat. My eyes travel to her face and I sigh. "I couldn't have just left her there to die." She heaved a shiver and pulled the blankets closer. My movements became slow and gentle as I came closer to her. I reached over and carefully removed a string of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She was such a fragile looking creature, so unfit for these lands. I looked down to her dress with a frown. She certainly wasn't dressed for the cold... A foreigner.

I glanced out the window above our heads with a curious glint in my eye. Why was she out here in the dead of night traveling across a frozen lake? One star glinted more than the rest in the sky, odd among the others. I sighed and crawled over to the opposite corner of the barn where there was a bit of hay still accumulated. My eyes traveled back over to her briefly before I lied down and scrounged around for a minute.

Sleep was harder to find than I had expected... but I was so very tired...

* * *

><p>I thought that I had died, drowned in that frozen lake never to be discovered. I thought that this was it, that I'd never see Alfred or anyone else I'd grown to love, that now I could finally revisit mom and dad, that my life had ended so easily. That is until I felt the throbbing pain and the burning in my leg, the left one to be exact. But my mind had too been frozen, I couldn't really understand what was going on just yet. One thing was for sure, I was in fact alive.<p>

There was a faint voice just outside my numbing cloud, it sounded foreign to me. I tried to muster enough energy to at least open my eye, failing in the process.

Something folded the my blanket under my body to help conserve heat. Their touch was gentle and hesitant. I just shrugged it off as my brother babying me again... as always.

A cold hand brushed my cheek, sending horrible chills down my spine. I gave a shudder and hugged the blanket tighter.

They backed off and I assumed left me be. I took a deep breath only to be interrupted by a coughing fit. Water rose from my throat and I turned my head to the side to cough up what felt like a river of metallic-tasting liquid. I grumbled and tried to hide my head beneath the blankets. The rough feeling of hay rested beneath me, causing me to wonder. _Alfred didn't take me home? Where am I?_

I lifted my head. "Alfred?"

He moved towards me and I opened an eye. Everything was blurry as I had not opened my eyes in ages. All I could see was a face, though its features were not in focus. I rubbed my eyes and blinked them a few times.

"Jeez Al, how long have I been-" A shockwave of terror blew through me. I shrieked and hid my face. That wasn't Alfred, it wasn't even human! My mind spun with the sudden adrenaline. _This has got to be a dream! Oh please dear god please tell me this is a dream!_ I felt their hand carefully peel away the blanket from my face. Another scream tore through me.

"N-no! Please don't hurt me!" I blocked my face with my hands, feeling tears well up in my eyes. _T__his can't be happening! It's just a horrible nightmare! A fever dream!_

"Shh. I'm not going to harm you." I heard it mutter.

I shook my head, stifling a sob. I would have rather drowned than die like this, at the hands of this monster! "P-please, my brother and I didn't mean to trespass!"

"Open your eyes." It prompted.

"No please!"

"Open them, now." Its voice was more forceful.

I whimpered, hesitantly opening them. Its horrifying face came into view again, sending chills down my spine. Their amethyst eyes stared at me with a burning intensity, though one looked to be partially blind. The scars covering its face were sewn together with thick surgical thread, making it uneven and atrocious. It frowned at me when I clearly suppressed a fearful cry.

"Why are you here?" Its voice rumbled again.

I swallowed, feeling its eyes burn through me like flames. _To kill you before you kill anyone else._

"My b-brother and I, w-we're here to hunt elk."

It stared at me for a minute, narrowing its eyes. "You are not lying to me, are you иностранец?"

I shook my head a bit too quick for my liking. "N-no, of course not."

Its gaze softened a little, giving me a bit of relief. "You have been asleep for two days, are you hungry?"

_Unfortunately my awakening has left me without an appetite, so..._

"No... er, th-thank you.." _I can't believe any of this... __Why is it speaking to me?!_

It came closer to me and I flinched. Another frown. "Are you feeling ill?"

"N-no, really, I'm-" It rested its palm against my forehead, sending more chills down my spine.

"You're bit warm..." It took its hand away and leaned back.

I set my own hand over my forehead, rubbing away the chill left by its fingers. A question rested on the tip of my tongue. "What... what are you doing?"

It blinked in question. "Hmm?"

"You're keeping me warm, you're taking care of me..." I looked down to the faint throbbing coming from my leg where a white linen bandage covered my wound. "You're healing my wounds... Why?"

It looked completely baffled. "I... I am not sure as to why I am. I found you submerged in an icy lake two nights ago, one can only assume you needed help." It shrugged. "I almost never get any visitors up here."

I felt confused by its words. _What's going on here...?  
><em>

"What is it that others call you?" It asked, tilting its head curiously.

My eyebrows lifted. "Uh... M-my name?" It nodded encouragingly. "I-I'm... Madeline." I looked nervously back to the monster. What would it do with this information, I wondered with an anxious mind.

Its eyebrows raised. "Mad...eh...line..." It tried pronouncing my name for a few moments, breaking it down into segments.

I bit my lip nervously. "Do you...uh, you have a... name?" _Perhaps it will answer?_

It looked at me for a long moment, seemingly confused. "Me? A name?" Its eyes darkened. "I can only remember fragments..." Its voice lowered into a whisper. "I think I had a name once, it sounded like..." It paused in thought. "I-van..." His whole demeanor darkened as well and his eyes flicked away."At least that was until... well... _he became_ _me_..."

I felt my stomach churn as I remembered Arthur's tale. _"No one would miss the poor soul, he was a criminal at heart. So, who would miss the chap's head if it disappeared?"_

"Ivan, a-alright. Nice to... em... meet you then." I tried to smile the best I could manage with a cloud of fear still hanging over my shoulders.

Ivan gave a faint smile, one that did not look twisted in any way. Dare I say it looked somewhat genuine? But for some reason, his lips pulled in a rather awkward way, that seemed to be unnatural for him. "It is nice to meet you as well Madeline."

I could see the excitement in his eyes, though it somehow unnerved me. _What could he possibly be thinking!?_

He seemed to notice my worry as he shook his head with a wider smile. I visibly winced at his toothy grin. "Ah, my apologies Madeline, I'm just so- so joyous!" I could see his whole face flushing, even over the scar lining nose and cheek. "I've never actually met someone face to face before."

I tilted my head to the side, giving him a questioning look. _Well I wonder why...__**  
><strong>_

Ivan disregarded my expression and looked down at my blanket. "Are you cold? I can get you another blanket if you would like."

"W-well... I-I'm a bit cold... b-but-"

He nodded, standing up straight. "I'll be right back, please rest while I get you another blanket." I hesitantly leaned back down onto the hay, giving him one last glance. It wasn't extremely comfortable, but I assumed it was better than the bare ground.

Ivan stood up straight and turned away, disappearing behind the wall separating the entrance of the barn from the stables.

I eyed every feature of his body as he left, allowing my curiosity to get the better of me. He was wearing a long filthy scarf around his neck that reached far behind himself, swishing around along with his stride. His shirt looked like nothing more than a scrapped piece of linen with holes for arms, as did his pants. I couldn't help but notice the uneven patches of skin tone on the skin that was visible. I felt a sickening fear rush through me for a split second as he turned his head and our eyes met before he was out of sight.

If this truly is the monster, and I am not one to argue with his first impression, then I must be at great risk. This creature has a terrible history of violence and an absence of remorse for the living. A chill ran down my spine as I wondered what kinds of things he must be doing behind that wall; what he may be plotting. Could he be sharpening a blade? Creating a poison? Or worse... gaining my trust before ripping me to shreds with his bare hands?

I didn't like that thought, not in any way possible. My fear only fueled more possibilities. _He _was an _it_ and _it_ was a _monster._ If I stay any longer _it_ is _going to _kill_ me!_ I slowly pushed the blankets from myself, trying to keep my trembling to a minimum. The air was cold against my still semi-wet skin, feeling like an icy blanket wrapped around me, _crushing me._ I took a deep breath and forced my chilled bones to move, wriggling into a standing position. My body was weak, so weak...

I glanced over to the space where the monster had disappeared; there was no sign of it coming back yet. Once again, I agonizingly began to move. I quickly made it to the barn doors and struggled to lift the wooden latch. Alarming sounds came from the other side of the wall, clattering as if someone were rummaging through something. I bit my lip and tried to lift the latch without a sound, my hands shaking far too much. _All I have to do is get out of here and find Alfred, I'll be safe once I get back to the cabin._

Finally to my great relief, it loosened and I threw it up. The doors made a loud clunk as the sound of wind whistled in my ears. My eyes widened as the doors were blown open to reveal a storm of pure white, almost blinding my tired eyes. Snow quickly slapped against my skin, getting entangled in my hair and eyelashes while it stung my flesh. A whimper escaped my throat as I tried to skid backwards from the bitter cold. I immediately heard the monster's voice again from indoors.

"No! It isn't safe!" A harsh scream tore through my throat as a huge arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me back inside. The monster not-so-kindly threw me down and hurried to close the doors. I felt my panic buzzing like a thick cloud of bees.

I am trapped in a closed space with a monster, and there is a storm raging outside that no human could survive; I am completely and utterly hopeless. Tears immediately came to my eyes and I folded into myself. My shivering and sobbing must have been pathetic to watch.

The cold air was suddenly cut off as the barn door -and my means of virtually impossible escape- were closed once more. I could feel the monster's evil presence loom once again above me, although I did not dare open my eyes. It slipped its arms underneath me and carried me back over to the hay pile. I squirmed and tried to fight him, but it was no use. Ivan gently set me back down and pulled the blanket back over my body.

A long moment of time passed, silent as if I was again in the dark abyss of unconsciousness. I hesitantly opened my eyes.

Ivan's face was all I could see, he was frowning, a somewhat ugly frown considering his scars. His eyes stared into mine as he leaned forward. I no longer possessed the energy or mental power to shy away. A cool hand was placed on my cheek, wiping away the tears wetting it.

"Please do not cry Madeline. I do not want to hurt you, I do not want you to go out in the storm." His frown seemed to dip lower. "I know that I may not look like you or the others, but that doesn't mean I cannot be a nice host." Ivan avoided my eyes. "Or at least that is what I'd like to try to be. You are a foreigner in these lands, yes?"

I swallowed. "I... I am."

"Then as any other reasonable person, should I not aid you in your time of need?" He persisted.

"But why? D-don't you kill people for a sport?" I blurted out, though within seconds I immediately regretted not holding my tongue.

Ivan became very silent, glancing only briefly towards me than back at the wall. "So you've heard." He sighed and stood up. "I had hoped you weren't- I didn't think that- you didn't-"

I tilted my head to see his face, suddenly worried.

"Again, it's happening **again**." His voice had become course with fury. "How many more, Madeline!?" He quickly snapped around towards me, causing me to jump. "How many more of you are there?!"

My eyes widened and I instinctively backed up. "W-what?" I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest.

"How many more _dogs_ has that wretched man sent?" Ivan had become terrifying, more monstrous than his looks. I wanted to scream, but my throat had tightened.

"Who?" I croaked. I had a terrible feeling that it was-

"ARTHUR! HOW MANY MORE OF YOU ARE THERE!?" He lashed out at me and grabbed my shoulders. I let out a cry of shock and fear. Ivan shook me roughly, his amethyst eyes burning into my face. "ANSWER ME!"

I shook my head, shutting my eyes tight. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!"

Ivan growled under his breath. "Lies! I knew you were just another one of his! Another lying human without any purpose beside murder!" He quickly tossed me down, knocking the air from my lungs. "Yes! I am a murderer Madeline! I kill for the sport, for the hunt! Every time Arthur sends another brave soul with greed in mind I am the reaper to rip the flesh from their bones! I am his nightmare, and so long as I am alive, I will torment him and any fresh meat he tosses my way!"

I whimpered, this was the end. The monster was going to kill me and go in search of my brother next! "P-please! S-stop!" My voice shook as I tried to calm my heart before it blew from my chest. "I-I am not here in any intent to kill you!"

He leaned closer yet, so close that I could feel his hot breath on my cheeks. It took a lot to not squirm from the awful stench. "Look me in the eyes, girl." His voice commanded. "Look at me and tell me that you are not just another one of his lackeys."

I stifled a sob and fearfully opened one eye. A scream nearly escaped me as I saw how close he actually was. His eyes held horrifying anger, such emotions would crush anyone with just a single glance. I could see how much he wanted to kill me... how easy it would be to split me in half. But something else clouded them, something I knew could never be comprehended by me or perhaps anyone else on this earth. He was... afraid?

I opened my other eye.

"Are you a killer Madeline? Do you dare break one of humanity's laws?" He continued.

I blinked, relishing in the millisecond that I could not see his eyes. "No. I am no killer." I murmured at last.

Ivan continued to stare at me, seeming to rummage through my personal thoughts. I could almost feel him picking out my lies. Suddenly, his hands released from my shoulders and he glanced away, resting down onto his knees. He stared down at his palms as if questioningly. I didn't dare let out the breath I was holding in fear of him snapping again. He reached a hand up and pulled his scarf looser in the front, revealing the paleness of his neck. A long deep scar ran the circumference of his lower neck, poorly stitched and cleaned. Ivan sighed heavily. "I apologize for my actions." He glanced over with a frown. "I did not wish to scare you."

_A bit too late for that._

"I have never been trusting in anyone before, and I just didn't want to go through '_it_'again." Ivan gently set a hand down on my knee. "I didn't want to have to kill you, killing is such a horrible feeling."

I let out a long calming breath, though I could still feel the reminiscence of fear coursing through my veins. "That is... okay." Again, I lied. Nothing was okay.

He nodded slowly, for the third time covering me in my blanket. Ivan glanced down at himself with another frown. "I could not find another blanket, but I am sure this will do- a-at least for a while."

I watched in silence as he slipped his scarf off and nicely placed it over my exposed shoulders. Now I could see the scar around his neck was not perfectly straight at all. It was jagged and uneven, most likely due to the brutal nature of its owner's beheading. On either side of his neck I could see there were two little metal bits resembling screws or bolts screwed in just below the sutures.

Ivan gave a little half smile, one that seemed to beg for forgiveness. "Is that a little better?"

I nodded numbly, though deep down I still felt cold. This cold however, could not be warmed by cloth or by flame, this was a deep chilling cold that I felt only in his presence.

He saw my lacking response and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sleep well." Ivan stood up and walked over to the farthest corner away from me that was still within a field of vision. "I will prepare a meal for when you awaken again." He announced, before I rested my head back down.

Unfortunately I could not fall asleep again.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

There's one translation in this chapter. Unfortunately I used google translate and it's probably really off.

(иностранец: inostranets) = Foreigner


	9. Healing Wounds

Time continued to slug by, painfully so. Though I was still filled with a constant feeling of paranoia, as Ivan continued to care for me, bringing me bread and cold tea, I eventually grew numb to my senses. He would come over for what seemed like every other hour to check on me, only sharing a few words and a nod. I felt a crushing pain slowly begin to crawl through my body like a great beast, flopping on top of me and filling me with its burning heat. My mind was fogged over as well, any effort to focus on anything but breathing in and out resulting in a headache. Another pain kept constant above the rest, throbbing with red-hot pain in my leg. I though I remembered what it was, but any effort to remember it made my mind swim and dip. My breathing shifted, coming in heavy gusts, I felt like a panting dog. The burning was unbearable.

"Madeline?" A faint whisper inquired. "Are you resting?" Ivan's rather large form shifted above me. A hand was placed on my shoulder as carefully as a perching butterfly.

I couldn't bring myself to even utter a word. A small whine reverberated in my throat instead.

He came closer. "Are you alright?" There was a trill of worry in his voice. A hand was rested on my forehead, cool on my burning skin.

He quickly pulled it away, letting out a small gasp. "You're burning up!"

I moaned as a shiver ran down my spine.

"Oh, this is... this isn't good at all!" Ivan stood up and quickly disappeared from my presence. A few minutes passed before his footsteps came rushing back to me. I opened my eyes a sliver to see what he was doing. He set down a bucket by his side with a clunk, producing a scrap of cloth from his other hand. Ivan dipped it in the bucket and strained the water from it, leaning in closer to my face. He whisked a stray hair from my forehead and replaced it with the cloth, forcing another chill down my spine. I winced and shut my eyes tight.

"This might help." He flattened the cloth on my forehead carefully and smoothed the creases in my blanketing.

I swallowed, glancing over to him. "M-my leg..."

He turned his head, his eyes large with concern. "Hmm?"

"My leg hurts. C-can you please check it? I-I think it might be infected." The pain was almost unbearable.

He glanced towards my face and nodded, removing the covers from my injured leg. His cool hands wrapped around it as he inspected it. He slowly unwrapped the bandages, allowing air to touch my wound. I bit my lip and shut my eyes tight. It stung when the fabric separated from the dried blood.

"It's having trouble healing." I heard him say. "I um... I may have to help it close. Do you have enough energy to pass me the box by your side?"

I glanced all around the space beside me, furrowing my eyebrows. "Hmm?"

Ivan gently set my leg down and stretched his arm over. "Never mind, please keep still, this may hurt a bit."

A confused look crossed my features. "W-what?" I moved my head, my eyes traveling down towards him. "What do you mean?"

He fished around the medical box, setting a few rolls of bandages and several other helpful items down. At last, he seemed to find what he was looking for as he pulled out another item. A pang of fear thundered in my chest with the flash of thin metal between his slender fingers. "S-stitches?!"

Ivan looked over with an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, but it must be done. Your wound isn't closing, you could become more ill if I do not fix it now." He turned his head and focused on the spool of thread and needle he had taken from the box. "There's nothing to fear, I will be as gentle as I can be. Please do not move, I'd hate to have to stitch up any more than needed." He said after finally threading the needle.

"B-but what about... uhm..."

Ivan glanced over, raising a questioning brow. "Hmm?"

I eyed his face stitches for a long moment before biting my lip and shaking my head. "Nothing, never mind." The burning was much worse than any dreadful scar he could produce; I mine as well forget having perfectly smooth legs now.

He shrugged. "Alright, are you ready?"

_Not really, but I guess I never will be then..._

"Mmhmm." I bit down harder, shutting my eyes tight to brace myself.

I felt his hand rest beside the wound, my anxiety beginning rise. A moment of agonizing silence passed before I felt the needle begin. I let out a pained whine and bit into my lip. Blood welled up beneath my teeth, though I ignored the dull pain for now. The metal slid from my skin as Ivan pulled the thread all the way out, leaving the first knot.

"Sorry." He murmured.

Again he sewed the next stitch, this time however, I was prepared. After every stitch he would apologize then continue until finished. I did not enjoy the alien feeling of the needle and the sharp stab, but I was relieved that it wasn't as painful as previously imagined. He didn't seem to be butchering it. Although the infection only burned worse.

"Okay, I'm finished." He rubbed his thumb gently over the stitchwork to make sure it wasn't loose, and put away his supplies.

I let out a long breath I hadn't remembered holding.

Ivan took one of the rolls of bandages and ripped a piece off. "You may relax now, I'm just going to clean the blood."

I lifted my head for a moment, eager to see what the wound looked like. I hoped it didn't look_ too_ bad. My eyebrows popped up in surprise as I saw the thin, clean stitches in the otherwise gruesome cut. Ivan wet the bandage in the bucket and began to wipe away at the oozing black blood bleeding through the crisscross pattern of thread. I sucked in a sharp breath between my teeth from the sudden cold. Ivan set the ripped cloth to the side and picked up the roll of bandages.

"Is that better?" He asked, glancing up.

I gave a half-hearted smile that said: "It's better than nothing, but it hurts like hell."

Ivan smiled back, looking rather relieved that I was okay. "Lie back down, I'll be done with this in a moment. Now that you are ill, you must rest as much as you can."

I opened my mouth to say something before shutting it again. There was no reason to argue when he was right. I leaned my head back down and took a large calming breath. "Th-thank you." I murmured as my eyes shut again.

He paused in his work of wrapping my wound up. There was a second or two of silence before he responded. "You're welcome."

Ivan pinned the bandages and put everything else away with a clunk from the box. He carefully covered my leg again and gathered the dirtied cloth to throw away.

"Are you comfortable?" Ivan whispered, setting the cool rag back on my forehead after re-wetting it.

I nodded slightly in response, feeling the dizzying darkness haze my mind. "Y-yea."

There was a cool sensation on my lower lip as something rubbed the blood away. Ivan grabbed his bucket and stood up again. "Sleep well, and let me know if you need anything."

"Mmhmm."

His footsteps receded again, returning a minute later to his spot across from me. From there he was most likely watching over me as he usually did.

I felt my mind slowly begin to enter the mists of sleep once again, pulling me into its warm embrace.

* * *

><p>I awoke again to the clap of thunder booming overhead. My eyes snapped open as I sat up. I was in a candle-lit room in a luxurious bed unlike any I had slept in before. There was a window pane to me far left, it was open, bordered with long drapes flowing like water in the cool night breeze. I glanced around in confusion. A strange feeling of dread filled the air.<p>

"Madeline? Madeline, are you awake?!" A harsh whisper came from my right. I glanced over wearily.

A face was alight in the candle light, their deep blue eyes wide with fear.

"A-Alfred!" I gasped.

He quickly thrust his finger to my lips. "Shh! It might here us. Get up, we're leaving."

I gave him a confused look. "What do you mean? What's wrong, Al?"

There was a low growl from the darkness behind the bedroom door. Alfred clasped his hand over my mouth, leaning closer. "Be completely silent, it's coming this way!"

I was still confused.

The loud thunk of footsteps drummed outside the door, sounding closer and closer. A low groan sent chills down my spine. The footsteps slowed as it neared the door, coming to a stop. I glanced over to Alfred fearfully. He just shook his head, pressing a finger too his lips.

A squeak of fear came from my throat as the handle turned loudly. There was a click as it could not turn. A small trill of relief flooded my body. It was locked.

The turning stopped a moment later, followed by more groaning and receding footsteps. We waited in the silenced that opened up, making sure the "thing" was out of earshot.

Alfred released his grip on my mouth and grabbed my wrist. "C'mon, we have to go. _**Now**_."

"Al, what's going on?" I stopped him, pulling my wrist away. "What was that?"

He stopped, turning towards me as I hung my feet over the side of the bed.

"The monster found us, if we stay here any longer then it's going to kill us too. If we can make it out of here without getting caught, we may be able to go home."

I shook my head fearfully. "A-Al, you're not making sense. It couldn't have possibly found-"

There was a sudden thunk on the other side of the door, followed by a low terrifying groan.

Alfred pulled me up to my feet. "It found us! Hurry! There is no time! I'll hold it back, escape behind it and don't look back!"

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to argue. "B-but-"

Another loud rap, followed by angered stomping and chilling groans. The door bent, splintering in the center.

"Quickly Madeline! Get ready!" Alfred pulled out a knife from his hip, holding it out readily.

I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as the door gave one more shuttering crash.

An angered roar thundered above the sound of splintering wood, the monster throwing the door open. I screamed as it came inside, barely fitting through the small door frame. Its face came into the candlelight, causing me to freeze in fear. My heart stopped for a moment.

"Madeline, Go!" Alfred screamed, charging towards the beast.

I stood frozen in fear, staring at the creature before me. My throat was closed up but words still fought desperately to tear free.

The monster quickly overpowered Alfred as he charged forward, throwing him to the side in a single swipe of its massive arm. Alfred's knife clattered to the floor, followed by a sickening thud as he hit the wall.

I screamed again, watching as he fell into a crumpled heap. The monster turned its attention to me, its violet eyes burning with animalistic fury. I backed up, shaking like mad.

"P-please, d-don't..."

It came closer, a chilling moan escaping its throat. I saw its horrific features lit faintly by the candlelight. Its teeth were gritted angrily as it came very close. I turned my head, shutting my eyes tight and letting out another fearful scream.

Its footsteps stopped right before me. I felt tears pricking my eyes.

"W-what do you want from m-me?" I begged.

Its large hand touched my chin, forcing me to turn my head. I opened my eyes.

"You're blood." It rumbled in a deep rugged voice.

I was wracked with a bloodcurdling scream as its crooked smile was lit by another clap of thunder.

"Madeline." It murmured. "Madeline." A bit louder than before. "Madeline!"

I felt my senses come back to me all at once, flooding my mind like a tidal wave. Something gripped my shoulders, shaking me roughly back and forth. My throat felt rough and dry from screaming, tears spilling down my cheeks and pooling on my chin.

"Madeline, wake up!" Ivan's voice commanded.

I snapped my eyes open, whimpering.

All I could see was his face... his horrifying face alight with candle light, almost too real to separate from dream and reality. A crooked smile flashed on his face for a second, enough to make me scream again in terror.

"Please stop screaming! It's okay, everything is okay!" He urged, holding my shoulders tight.

I fought to stop my shaking and say anything coherent, but the lump in my throat only allowed silent pleas. Ivan set his hands on either side of my head, forcing me to look into his face.

"You are safe, please calm down. There is nothing to be afraid of." He cooed.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat, taking a deep, shaky breath._ It was just a dream, just a horrible, horrible dream._ I kept repeating to myself in an effort to calm down.

My heart slowly returned back to normal pace and my shaking had come to a minimum, although I still felt woozy and ill. Ivan released his grip after a minute, returning his hands to his lap. I opened my eyes again.

"Are you alright now?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I-I'm not sure." His appearance was still a tad unsettling. "But I-I think it's over now."

Ivan nodded, sighing deeply. "Good, for a second, I thought something had gotten a hold of you."

"Sorry..." I murmured, glancing downward. It must be nighttime, everything was dark aside from the lantern set down on the ground beside us. I looked back up towards Ivan with a apologetic frown. His eyes were cloudy with dissolving sleep. "Did I wake you?"

He shook his head. "That's fine, I am a light sleeper anyway." Ivan was silent for a moment before furrowing his brows. "What had scared you so much anyway? I-If you do not mind me asking." He asked, while still trying to allow me my privacy.

I felt a pang of worry at his question and glanced away a little too quickly._ I can't possibly tell him, he might get upset... or worse_. A chill ran down my spine and a shook my head in an effort to clear it. I didn't even want to know what he'd do if he knew. "Never mind, it... it was nothing."

He nodded respectfully, closing his eyes. "Then that is your business." Ivan rested a gentle gaze on me, one that looked comforting and understanding. "Usually when I am plagued with nightmares I clutch to a thought, or something of sentimental value." He frowned. "But I do not remember you holding anything when I found you..."

I sighed heavily. "That's okay, I'm fine now."

He stared down at the blanketing covering me for a long moment, seemingly in wonder. I tilted my head in confusion, what might be on his mind now?

Ivan slowly leaned over, peeling the top layer of blanketing off of the side. A beige coat lay as a sort of sheet for me, which he dug through until he located the pocket. I watched in bewilderment as he reached inside, taking a moment before producing a small doll from it. My eyebrows raised when I saw it. The hair was frizzled and dirtied with mud, though still ginger. Its dress was also torn and battered, but its stitched on smile, however, was still undamaged.

"You can borrow my item. It seems very fitting for a girl such as yourself." He flattened the blanket back on top and offered the doll.

I gave an awkward smile, shaking my head. "No, no, you don't have to, really."

He glanced back down at the doll, frowning gently. "She gets lonely too, no?" His eyes flicked back up at me expectantly.

"Oh... okay." I murmured.

Ivan set it down beside me with care, a smile again forming on his face. "There, now she does not need to be lonely, and neither do you."

I felt a warmth in my cheeks. "I-I guess so..."

He nodded with a little hum. "She will keep you happy, if you ever feel frightened you can just hug her close." There was a certain happiness in his voice that felt quite human, it was reassuring and somehow endearing.

Ivan stood up and blew out the lantern.

"Goodnight Madeline, and may sweeter dreams follow." He whispered.

"Goodnight." I answered, awkwardly taking the doll into my hands.

His footsteps led a short distance before stopping as he plopped back down onto his pile of hay. I heard him take a deep breath and sigh.

I too sighed, closing my eyes for rest again. Although, I felt anything but tired at the time. A lingering question hung on my mind, one that may produce an answer that perhaps would put my mind at ease -or it could also induce more night terrors.

"Ivan?" I murmured in the darkness.

"..." A small stretch of silence followed.

"Ivan?" I repeated.

"Yes? Is everything okay, Madeline?" Came his eventual response. I heard him rustle around.

"Could you... em... tell me everything from the beginning?"

"..." Another period of dark silence.

He took a deep breath. "E-ehm... do you mean...?" Ivan sounded a bit caught off guard.

I swallowed before hugging the doll close. "Yes, you clearly are not of the human womb. W-what happened?"

The next period of silence had more friction, like the quiet before a storm. I wondered if the fever had messed with my judgement, until he hesitantly answered again.

"No, I am not human born... well... somewhat, in a way-"

* * *

><p>Notes:<p>

Sorry about some inaccuracy in information regarding frostbite/fever)


	10. Not-So-Monstrous

"There was a man, he was no ordinary man, however. This man goes by the name of Arthur." Ivan paused for a moment before continuing, holding a bit of weight after the name he'd mentioned, as if it was difficult just speaking it aloud. "He was a man of life sciences, he studied the inner workings of the body just as his peers in school had. But, he had a very dark mind, one that brought him to adore his work a bit too much. Arthur, one day spent his lunch watching the rain fall on his windowpane, when he noticed a streak in the sky. He had remembered one of his earlier lessons in which the instructor made a frog's leg move with an electric current. Arthur wondered if he, just as his instructor, could make something long dead begin to move."

I listened quietly to his story, drawing to conclusions before he could even get to the answers. He continued with how Arthur acquired his body parts from several bodies, mentioning briefly about Ivan, the man whom his head had belonged to previously and who he had taken to being called.

"Eh, i-if you don't mind me asking..." I interrupted quietly.

"Yes?" Ivan paused.

"How did you get a nasty scar on your face if Ivan's-_ y-you're_ head, was untouched?"

He let out a sarcastic laugh that unnerved me. "One thing you must know about Arthur, is that he is very clumsy." His eyes darkened and a frown momentarily hung on his face. "Very... clumsy indeed.."

"Ah..."

Ivan cleared his throat and continued again. "And then, on one particularly stormy September night, he channeled lightning into his many electrical machines and brought said corpse to life."

"You..." I murmured.

"Yes, me. He created me alone; I was born into this world due to a sick man's fantasies. However, I had not a clue of this until later on. For the time being, I was a very curious and absent minded creature. Arthur had not expected my living form to be so monstrous and was horrified by me, I had struck fear into his heart from that day forth..." Ivan's voice lowered. "And I am glad to be so fortunate." He cleared his throat. " After he fled, I ventured out of the tower to see what answers he might provide, only to be scared away by his brutality. After that, I spent many days discovering nature and what wonders this world had to offer me. It had to have been one of my most fondest memories. A few months passed quickly, and I eventually found a shed for which I could take refuge in. The home it was beside had a wonderful little family that taught me how to read and speak, I even learned the behaviors of humans. These people seemed to wipe away the impression I had first been met with, making even me feel less alienated. But as the seasons changed, I became bored cooped up in my little home. When I found _his _diary in my coat pocket,... I... After then... I was never the same. My life came crashing down. Arthur sent hunters to find me, and I slept from home to home, killing countless men, women, and children. I became the monster that Arthur saw. I... I just wanted to be free... I made my way across Europe in about three years time, eventually making it here in Siberia. Most of the population, I found, was clustered around the European side, but the farther east I went the closer I came to home. I spent another year here, calm and happy... but I never knew it'd be so lonely..."

"Why didn't you stay? Surely you could have found safety in England?" I asked after he finished.

"No, there was no safety in England. If I had stayed, than Arthur surely would have found me by now, I would just be another corpse once again." He answered with a rough voice.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why though? If life has been so cruel, why do you continue? If you are so out of place, wouldn't it be better if that happened?" I knew it was an incredibly blunt question, but I truly wanted to know.

Ivan took a breath to say something, but paused. He was silent for a moment, probably unsure of how to answer.

"Why do you live Madeline?" He asked.

"What?"

"Why do you continue to go on? Does life not have its hardships for you as well?"

I was puzzled. "W-what are you getting at?" I stuttered.

"We all have a reason, Madeline. I was given life just as you were, it may not be the same method, but I am alive all the same, no?" He inquired.

"I-I guess, but-"

"I have searched for my purpose ever since I drew my first breath. Tell me Madeline, what is your purpose? Do you know yours?"

I felt my head begin to ache again. "N-no... I... I don't..." My throat closed up suddenly, a burning arising in my chest. "What is wrong with you?!" I growled. "First you tell me this terribly sad narration, now you're asking me the meaning of life! I don't know what my purpose is, Ivan, and I fear that I never will."

"I didn't ask to bring anger, I asked to give us an understanding ground. You can understand my point of view now, can you not?" He said coolly.

"But you're inhuman, what kind of purpose could you pose now that you've murdered innocent people?" I felt agitated at his incompetence.

I heard him rustle from his place across from me. For a split second I was afraid that he was getting up, causing my heart to plummet. But, he did not get up, he began to speak again. "That is where you've got me. Yes, I am a murderer, I am the monster that everyone calls me, but when will it end? I no longer wish to kill, it is a terrifying power, a sickening joy, one that I wish to undo. I wish to find a greater purpose, one that isn't lined with bloodshed. One that I may pursue and actually _feel _human. It is a feeling that I have certain déjà vu when imagining it; I feel like I've been that way before... Only now a shroud of atrocious sinews and flesh has wrapped itself around me, turning me into this horrifying abomination that even you, Madeline, cannot see past."

I sighed, cradling my aching head. "Ivan, it takes time, I hope that you can at least understand that. I don't want to insult you, but yes, I was afraid to see you at first, you are very... different. Even now I am still very uneasy around you, but it's not your fault. I understand that you only want to help me and understand yourself, but I never asked to be sucked up into this. I just want to find my brother and go home, I'm worried about him. He never came home that night..." A frown made its way onto my face. "I don't know what I'd do without him... h-he's all I've got..."

Ivan was again quiet before he too heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry Madeline, I... I didn't mean to keep you here... I-I just wanted to help."

"No, no, that's okay, I can understand why you wanted to help, and I owe you my very life because of it, but I really must find Alfred soon. I just hope my leg can heal quick enough." I trailed off, my eyes moving down in the darkness.

"I'll help you find him when you heal." Ivan stated, "but you mustn't worry about that now. You could worry yourself sick."

_"Try not to worry about me too much, you'll make yourself sick."_ Alfred's voice echoed in my head briefly. I bit back the urge to weep.

"Go to sleep, I'll have a meal ready in the morning." Ivan whispered.

I frowned, shutting my eyes again. I was still left unable to sleep restfully just as I had before, except now I knew a little more than I had hoped to.

* * *

><p>This time when I dreamed, I was in my garden back home. It wasn't grand and lush like those belonging to royalty, and it certainly wasn't the most beautiful, but it held a very special place in my heart. Alfred told me stories about my mother having planted it with our father long before we were born. It was reminiscent of my younger life.<p>

I was sitting with a basket filled with flowers in my hand, their lovely colors painting the surrounding area. This was a normal occurrence for me during springtime, I always enjoyed picking the flowers. Although now, something felt off.

The same feeling I'd gotten from before reentered my mind, and a trill of anxiety ran up my spine. I glanced around warily, clutching my basket tightly. It felt as if someone -or rather _something, _was watching me.

That was when I noticed the dark figure hanging in the corner of my eye, slinking through shadows. I slowly rose to my feet. "Hello?" I called.

Silence was my only answer.

The dark figure twitched and molded as they strode around the house. Fear hung in the air and I bit my lip. Again, I called out to them. "Is someone there?"

I caught a glimpse of their face, twisted like the bark of an old tree and scarred like an old war veteran. Surprise struck their features as they noticed my gaze and they slipped from my vision into a run.

My eyes widened and I ran after them. "Where are you going?!"

They'd disappeared completely as I rounded the house. There weren't any signs that anything was there aside from the flattened grass from where they'd stood only moments before. My eyes skimmed the landscape before landing on a raggedy scrap of cloth on the ground. I strode over slowly and bent down to inspect the item.

It wasn't a scrap of cloth at all, but a little doll with a stitched on smile. I reached down to pick it up and glanced up to where the figure had disappeared to. My previous feelings of fear had dissolved, replaced with concern.

* * *

><p>In the morning I awoke on my own, feeling considerably cooler than the night before. I sighed peacefully and glanced around. There was no sign of Ivan, but I did find a nice warm cup of tea. A gentle smile rested on my lips and a shook my head. Finally something warmer than ice-water. I slipped my hands from under the blankets and pulled the cup to my lips. Warmth filled my belly and I sighed in content. I set the cup back down and slinked further into the blankets, staring up at the ceiling.<p>

It wasn't so bad, I thought. I'd had worse hosts in hunting lodges that my brother took me to, not to mention he was more mannered. I giggled to myself imagining the log cabin full of bustling and burping men wetting themselves at the sight of Ivan. He wasn't half as rude, just... odd. I remembered the night before and frowned, feeling my mood slowly lower. It really wasn't his fault that I had fallen in the ice after refusing to heed Alfred's warning. Yes, we were dragged into this due to him, but he never asked for any of this either. I wrapped my fingers over my lap and hummed, it's strange how first impressions can be changed with enough time and understanding.

I just hope that it will stay this way, calm and _humane._

A while passed before I heard a loud thump from the other side of the barn doors.

I turned my head with a curious tilt. "Hmm?"

Ivan quickly rushed inside and closed the doors behind himself, though not quick enough to catch the few clumps of flurries that blew inside. He shivered and rubbed his bare arms.

His teeth were chattering loudly. "It's cold today." He murmured under his breath.

"Isn't it that way every day up here?" I asked with a smirk.

He glanced over, seemingly surprised. I could see a few snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes from the weather outside. His cheeks were a rosy red as he mirrored my smile. "There is a summer season you know."

I let out a little giggle with a shrug. "Who knew?"

Ivan hummed pleasantly. "I'm glad to see color in your face Madeline, are you feeling well?"

I nodded. "Much better with a warm cup of tea to wake up to, thank you."

He nodded back, a few flakes of snow drifting from his hair. "It was the least I could do. Are you hungry yet?" Ivan asked.

I shook my head. My stomach was still a bit off from my illness. "No, thank you."

"Alright, let me know when you are." He flicked a bit of snow from his shoulders and strode over to where he usually went. Again, he sat down and situated himself.

I frowned, sitting up a little. "Aren't you cold?"

He glanced over, lifting a brow. "Hmm? Oh, me?"

"Yes you, who else would I be speaking to, silly?" I giggled.

His nose and cheeks darkened a shade. "No, no, I-I'm fine, I am resistant to the cold, da?"

I moved over. "Come on, I can't hoard all of the covers while you sit over there in that pitiful pile of hay alone." I offered him a spot.

"But you are sick... I couldn't possibly..."

"If we are to get along, I'd rather it not be in misery. Now come." I patted the blankets for him.

He gave me a confused look, but stood up anyway, collecting up his book from the ground. I scooched over a bit more as he neared, hesitantly dropping to his knees. He gave me an unsure look as if to ask if I was crazy. I blinked with a nod.

Ivan awkwardly slipped under the covers beside me, being much larger than me. He sighed slowly in content when he covered himself back up.

I smiled warmly. "Better?"

He nodded and responded. "Very much so."

Ivan lay on his back beside me, staring up at the ceiling just as I had. He set his book down on the side and rested his hands above the blankets.

I sighed again. "It's funny." I murmured.

He glanced over questioningly. "Hmm?"

"Just last night, I would have been petrified having you sit here under the blankets with me, but now I'm rather fine with it..." Flashes of my dream came to mind, although they were only bits and pieces.

He glanced back up at the ceiling and blinked. "Yes... very strange how things work isn't it?"

"It's crazy what a little of misunderstanding can do to alter the view of a person..." I murmured. "As a social animal, the human bases its first impression of a person almost completely on their looks. But once you hear them speak, know who they are and how their past affects them, just to simply understand the way they dream, they can change almost completely..." I glanced down at my hands. "Alfred always told me that there was something about a person that was tied to their aura, something that could only be understood from their level. He said that people are never what they seem, they are always changing, there is no definite person that you are from day to day. Auras change along with who you evolve to, what you do, how you act, it's a way of giving off your own personal signal to those with open ears. He even said that animals- like humans- have this _something_ about them, that everything does..." I paused on a short breath, realizing that I'd begun to run on again. "Ah, but I'm just rambling now..."

Ivan looked to be deep in thought as he nodded in agreement. "I can understand what your brother is talking about. There is more than meets the eye, no?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He shifted a little to get more comfortable. "I have told you my story, but I have not heard yours yet Madeline. You must have come all the way up here for something other than hunting, right?"

I swallowed nervously and hurried to think up an excuse. _Fuck_

"I-I don't know, I guess it was just a feeling, you know?" I shrugged, hoping that he would not press much more.

He nodded. "Following your heart just as I had, I assume. That is good to hear. Company is scarce up here, not to mention _other_ obstacles. I am glad to have someone to talk to, I really appreciate your being here for the time being. If I had kept silent any longer I thought I would become mute."

"You're welcome I guess, I should thank you for saving my life too. I would have died in that lake." My cheeks were a light pink in embarrassment.

"No problem, I'm glad that you have regained a bit of your health. I was worried that... you know..." He frowned for a moment. "you wouldn't make it."

"Yes."

We both stared up at the ceiling, completely silent for a few minutes. There were so many things I wished to ask him, but I hadn't the motivation to say them. I glanced over to see that he too was deep in thought. His facial expressions changed slowly like the seasons passing, going from content to confused.

"Madeline?" He suddenly inquired, breaking the span of awkward silence.

"Yes?" I answered, pushing all of my thoughts away for the time being.

Ivan opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again, seemingly thinking of a way to approach his question. "How are... How is... How is a human created?" He turned his head, giving me a puzzled expression. "I-I know it takes two humans, one male and one female, but... how are the 'parts' put together?"

I blushed at the first thought coming to mind. _I remember Alfred trying to give me the 'birds and the bees' talk when I was younger... Though I'm not sure if Ivan would understand enough..._

"Uh, well... when, um, when a male and a female love each other, they sometimes choose to have offspring." I glanced over to him, feeling more awkward than I ever had in my life. Not even long nights spent in hunting cabins being the only female within hundreds of miles could compare to now.

Ivan looked genuinely confused as he tried to understand. "So... um... how? They agree, and... what happens then?"

My face burned redder. _Oh dear..._ "And, well... they... they sleep together." I gave a half-smirk, searching his face.

He lifted an eyebrow before frowning. "Oh!" He moved a bit away from me, his face a bright red. "I did not realize that _this_ did _that!_"

I laughed a bit, shaking my head. "There's a bit more to it than just that, but well... I-I'm not really sure you're asking the right person..."

"A-alright, I did not mean to offend you... I was just curious." He murmured, looking down at his boots still partially covered by the blankets.

I gave him a little more blanketing as an offer to scoot in more. "No, no, that's fine. I was curious when I was younger too, it's just one of those wonders that will be answered at the correct time."

Ivan moved over the tiniest bit, still keeping a barrier of open space between us, just in case. "Okay..." He said, again allowing himself to relax. I sighed, eyeing the surrounding barn again. It looked so untouched, as if Ivan had only used what he needed to, neglecting anything that was not to his references. Dust collected on the window sills and on the supplies higher up on the shelves. There were even faded leather saddles to the right, surrounded by several unused harnesses. I looked over to Ivan with a curious expression.

"Do you know of the person who owned the barn before you?"

Ivan blinked a few times before glanced back. He shook his head. "I am unsure of who owned this barn, but I am sure that they must have to do with the old remains of a house that I found just a distance out into the woods. Unfortunately, before I arrived here, it had been burned to the ground, leaving me with no clue of the previous owner. I assumed that since they must no longer live in the area, then they might not mind me hiding here."

I nodded. "It is strange how people just come and go, isn't it?"

He lifted his eyebrows, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "Yes, I suppose you are right. Though, I do not remember most of the people I've seen. Who is it that you remember, Madeline?" Ivan turned to me again questioningly.

I knitted my fingers together on my lap and shrugged. "My family, I guess. My mother and father are a little hard to make out, but Alfred is still very important to me."

He pursed his lips before speaking again. "What is Alfred like? Is he like you?"

I let out a little laugh, shaking my head. "Not at all, actually. He is my complete opposite, but I love him even more because of it."

Ivan smiled, nodding his head. "I cannot wait to meet him as well, perhaps he too would be good company?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at the very thought of their transaction. A horrible feeling sunk to the pit of my stomach like stones in a lake. I could imagine just what Alfred would do, and that was not a very pleasant sight.

"Y-yes, I'm sure he'd like to meet you too."

Ivan closed his eyes and yawned, dipping lower beneath the blankets. "That would be nice, having two friends. I never even imagined having one, let alone a second, thank you Madeline." His voice was like honey as he rested quietly.

I tried to smile, but the frown on my face prevented anything more than a smooth line. "How early did you get up?"

"Before dawn, as always. I apologize, but I am still a bit tired. You do not mind me sharing a bed-space for now, do you?" He asked, opening one eye.

I shook my head. "Not at all, rest well."

"Spasibo..." His voice trailed off as his eye once again shut.

I watched him as his breathing slowed and his expression softened. He was much less intimidating while he slept, I was thankful to see such a thing as it pushed away a few more of my fears. _At least he sleeps like a human._

My eyes flicked down to my side of the blankets and I cocked my head to the side. The wound scarring my leg was much less painful than the day before, but I still couldn't say I was ready to walk on it again. I pulled up the blankets a tiny bit to peer at it, being conscious of the sleeping form beside me. It took me a moment to unwrap the bandages around my leg, releasing the pressure entrapping it. The wound was still a little red, but the swelling had gone down considerably. His needlework was so beautiful and refined, I wondered how an _actual_ human such as Arthur could screw up his work so badly. I ran my finger over its surface, wincing a little. It was nice and smooth. I smoothed the covers back down on my leg and rested back onto the hay with a little sigh. A creeping feeling began to grow in my mind.

"I'm bored..." I murmured quietly to myself. Again, I surveyed the room until an idea came to mind. A book sat by Ivan's side, though as I squinted at it, I couldn't make out its lettering. There was a small red ribbon in the middle, he must still be reading through it. That was comforting, he could read too.

I glanced down at his sleeping form for a moment. Maybe he wouldn't mind if I just peaked at it? I wouldn't remove the bookmark or anything. He sighed gently and I finally decided. I carefully reached over him, grabbing at the book with my greedy fingers. My eyebrows pulled in frustration at the realization that it was just out of reach. I grunted and tried to reach further, pushing further off of the hay. Just as I felt my fingers brush the rough leather cover and my heart lifted, I heard a sound from beneath me. I quickly returned to my spot, forcing my eyes closed to look like I too was sleeping. Ivan rolled closer to me, reaching his arms out. I let out a little squeak of surprise as he wrapped them around me like one would hug a teddy bear. _He's going to crush me! _His grip tightened a bit as he nestled up to my shoulder, humming sweetly. My cheeks burned as I frowned.

"O-oh god..."

He finally settled and stopped moving again, sighing out heavily. His arms loosened a little, just enough for me to breathe comfortably. I had a bad feeling in my stomach.

_Crap... He's cuddling now._


	11. Of Joy and Hope

A few days pass by like the slow wash of the ocean tide, with Ivan juggling between keeping me cared for and tending to his own responsibilities outdoors while I try to keep my wary mind busy. Ivan was kind enough to lend me a few of his books, though I didn't want to offend him by pointing out that they were in Russian. I did find one in English, but it was just a children's book. With his absences that stretched from early morning to mid afternoon, I began to wonder what he was doing more than what the books could possibly say. Every time he came back inside he was covered from head to toe in snow with a mildly curious expression. On the sixth day, I scraped up enough courage to ask him.

I glanced up to the window on the high wall above me, judging the light pouring inside. It was about noon, Ivan would be returning any time now. I turned my head back to watch the doors, my hands casually crossed on my lap. Without fail, a few minutes later I heard him pushing it from the other side. Ivan stepped inside, stomping his boots off and brushing himself off. He looked over to me and almost jumped out of his skin as he noticed my gaze.

He held a hand over his chest and sighed unevenly, clearly startled. "A-aha, I thought you were asleep." His voice was kidding, he was definitely hiding something.

I shrugged passively. "Its noon, the sun woke me up."

He nodded with a faint glimmer of a grin. "Well then, would you like some breakfast?" Ivan shut the barn doors with a massive thunk and put the wooden latch over them to keep out anything wishing to come inside.

I tilted my head. "Actually, I was curious as to what you've been doing outside." It took some effort to present myself without allowing my voice to shake nervously. A part of me was a little afraid of what he could be doing while I sleep in.

Ivan raised his eyebrows, seeming caught off guard for a moment. He shifted from one foot to the other. "I'm just getting things ready, nothing much." His tone told me that that wasn't everything he was doing.

"Oh? What are you preparing for?" I asked, sounding interested now.

The coloring in his cheeks seemed to darken as he fumbled around. "W-well, it was supposed to be a surprise, actually... But I..I guess it really isn't that special..."

I felt my own face redden in embarrassment. "Oh! No, no, I'm sure it is. I'm sorry for asking."

He put on a more casual smile. "Bah, that's quite fine. You were going to find out sooner or later, da? Curiosity is very unpredictable." Ivan walked over. "Would you like to see?"

I tried to act mildly interested, but to be completely honest, I was very curious as to what the surprise was. "Sure."

Ivan's smile widened, he looked so pleased. "Wonderful!" He looked down at the blankets for a moment, his expression lightening. "Can you stand?"

I looked down as well. "I'm not entirely sure..." The possibility hadn't crossed my mind in a while. I moved my injured leg around. To my surprise, the stitches didn't seem to hurt at all. "The suture is a bit tight, but I think I can."

He nodded understandingly and offered his hand. "I will help you up."

I set my hand in his much larger one and shifted my weight to try and lift myself. He applied his own strength to quickly whip me up. I let out a surprised "Oh!" as I was lifted almost entirely by him to my feet. Ivan used his other hand to keep me steady, a satisfied smile on his face.

"There you are."

I felt my cheeks warm up in embarrassment. "Thank you."

He nodded, though he kept one hand on my shoulder. "I hope that it is to your liking."

I took one hesitant step forward. My legs felt like jelly with misuse. Another step. I held my breath. To my relief, the stitches did not come undone and there was no sudden pain. Ivan patiently guided me to the doors, making sure not to allow me to fall, but also keeping from being too clingy. He opened the door just enough for the two of us to slip out, bringing us into a new world of snow and cold. The cold Siberian air slapped against us like a wall, chilling me to the bone and causing me to shudder.

"Its over on the other side of the barn, would you mind If I carried you a little ways? You do not have the proper footwear." He said.

My immediate response was to be polite and decline, but for a moment I held my tongue. I stared down at the thick snow right before us, biting my lip in anxiousness. I was wearing heels and the snow must have been at the very least three feet deep. "Eh... O-okay..."

He bent down and carefully slipped his arms beneath my legs and back, lifting me up into his arms. I let out a squeak of surprise as I was face to face with him. Ivan chuckled under his breath. "You're very light!"

My face was burning hot. "A-aha... y-yes, I guess I am."

He glanced forward and stepped into the heavy sheet of snow. I held my arms together in an effort too preserve heat as the chilled wind gently tossed my hair around. Ivan trudged through the snow with seemingly no effort, a big smile on his face the whole way.

"You know, I faintly remember the snow in England. It never did get this cold there did it?" He chimed.

I nodded.

"The weather was always so drowsy there. It was always raining. I'm glad I came here, it just feels so much more like... home." He sighed happily. "Well, the snow is a bit overwhelming, but it is the price I must pay for living so far north. The dark season is even more peaceful."

I listened vaguely to his musing, my eyes searching around the scenery. This was the first time I had seen the area around my shelter. There were less trees here, it felt like more of a clearing than where our cabin was. From the maps that Alfred had shown me, I could already tell that they were looking in the complete opposite direction from where Ivan lived. Although, deep down, I was glad that they hadn't found him. He really wasn't the odd and misshapen horror that had been described to me, just misunderstood and afraid. I could see how he was unsettling, he certainly wasn't average height and his exterior was a bit more patchy than average. I guess with the time I have been spending under his roof I've been able to dull my initial fright.

My thoughts were interrupted when I caught a glimpse of something bright amongst the black and white scheme. There was a wooden object sitting on the side of the barn, though I couldn't quite make out what it was with all of the snow covering it.

Ivan hummed. "I took note of what you said about your brother a few days ago and made you a sled so we could find him sooner. Your still healing and your clothes wont help you out here, so instead of waiting until spring to search for your brother, we could leave in a day or two. I understand that he could have gotten lost in the woods as well, and I'm sure you know as well as I do that humans such as yourself cannot survive in the cold for long." He seemed a bit bashful. "I-I mean It was the least I could do for keeping you here for so long. Family is... very important."

I stared at the sled with wide surprised eyes. Hope had once again returned to me. Maybe, just maybe Alfred was out there, and now we would surely be able to find him. Without another second's thought, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "Th-thank you! Thank you so much!" Tears pricked my eyes as joy rushed through my body like a tidal wave. There was hope for us!

Ivan was stiff for a moment, his breath hitching in his throat. He then after a second of hesitation, awkwardly returned the hug, setting his palm on the center of my back. "Y-you're welcome... but... why do you cry? I-is there something wrong? Did I not do something right?"

I sniffled, shaking my head. "N-no! I am just s-so grateful to be able to see my brother again! I've been so worried about him!"

He carefully patted my back in a comforting manner, though I could still feel the stiffness in his shoulders. "I am glad that you are happy, I'm sorry that I didn't show you earlier... I was afraid that it wasn't what you wanted."

I shook my head, beaming excitedly. "No, that's fine. I'm excited to see him again. When.. uh... when do you think we'll set out?"

Ivan broke the hug. "We can set out tomorrow if you'd like." He smiled with enthusiasm as I jittered with anticipation. "I did some surveying of the land yesterday so there is a clear path to the lake where I found you. From there we can most likely find our way."

"Thank you, really, for everything you've done for me. You're one of the kindest individuals I've ever met." I murmured, wiping a tear from my cheek with my knuckles.

He nodded. "Thank you for that, It brings me much joy to make you happy. I would never have thought that any of this would have happened." Ivan turned us around to walk back to the barn. "It is good."

I closed my eyes and reached a hand out to carefully touch his chest. "Even though you might not think it, your heart is definitely in the right place. I would be more than happy to call you friend."

Ivan took a short, shuddering breath, then blew it out in a white puff. "Th-thank you..." He murmured in a low sheepish voice.

After getting back inside, I realized that this day was going to be more productive than the previous ones. That in itself was reassuring. Ivan had himself set on preparing for our trip with a few days' supplies as well as allowing me time to choose a few things to take along. I hadn't brought anything but the clothes on my back, but I tried my best to aid him in finding anything useful. The other side of the barn was very interesting. As I surveyed the partially used space, I took note of the one stall that had been cleaned recently. Perhaps this was Ivan's living space before I was brought here.

"Madeline? Where are you?" His voice called from the barn doors.

I poked my head from around the corner. "Just looking for supplies over here."

Ivan nodded, returning back to his work. "Alright, just be careful. This building is very old, I'd rather you keep a few things undisturbed."

I smiled. "Got it." He was right, this place seemed ancient with its infinite amount of cobwebs and thick layers of dust. The window high up at the top of the stables was shattered, allowing a steady stream of cold air inside. As if it wasn't cold enough in here.

I turned back to the shelves and continued to look for useful things. A constant mood of bright excitement fluttered through my body like an over-excited butterfly. I almost felt like singing for the first time since Alfred and I were little.

I did eventually find a few bottles of alcohol, but I wasn't sure if they were the best for our trip. My fingers left imprints in the dust caking the tall bottle's surface as I squinted to read the label. "Hey, Ivan?" I called faintly making out the fancy Russian writing.

"Yes?" He answered, the sound of something heavy being put down following.

"Do you want me to bring some of this... Vodka I'm assuming, with us?"

"Sure, if you drink that kind of stuff. Just set it out here and I'll bring it with me outside."

I took two bottles and walked out to the other side of the wall. Ivan was watching me as I came in, a patient smile on his face. "Its good to see you walking now, it does not hurt you, right?" He lifted a curious brow.

I shrugged. "Not too much, you sewed it up well."

He nodded, flicking his eyes away from me to return to his work. I felt a stretch coming on and spread my arms wide. It felt so good to be able to stand up and move around. I popped my neck and just stood there for a few long minutes. It's actually happening, I am actually leaving this place and with who I originally thought would never allow me the sight of day. What an odd turn of events.

About thirty minutes later, Ivan wrapped up what he was doing and shut the doors for the night. The day was still primarily bright, so we just spent it as we had spent this time for the days before, chatting. It was very interesting to learn about the differences of our ways of life for not only me, but for him as well. We played a game of tit for tat of a sorts. I would answer one of his questions and in return he would answer one of mine. Time passed much quicker this way.

"Ah, I think it is your turn Madeline." Ivan stated, sitting down with his legs crossed beside me on the covers.

I sipped on the cup of tea he had given me earlier before making a thoughtful face. "Hmm..." I had to think of a way to put my wonders into words. "Well... What is one thing that you fear the most, but are very interested by?" I asked. _This one should be interesting._

Ivan raised his eyebrows for a second. "Something I fear but I am also interested by..." He rubbed his chin. " I'd probably have to say fire." He answered simply.

"Why so?" I tilted my head in interest.

A small smirk played across his face. "That's another question."

I rolled my eyes with a sarcastic smile. "Whatever, you get what I mean."

"Fire is very dangerous, it can get out of control and burn an entire home, an entire village even, but it is also to be admired. It is like its very own sun, burning long into the darkest of night. Yet even with its seemingly boundless power, it can so easily be tamed into something as simple as a candlestick. It is something to be feared and admired." He shrugged in a way of lightening his statement. "I mean there are tons of things that I feel the same about, but fire is the first thing that comes to mind."

I nodded, "That's understandable."

He tilted his head curiously. "What about you Madeline? What is it that captures your interest while enticing fear all at once?"

"Well..." I had to think on it for a moment. "I guess I am intrigued by the unknown, naturally so. More specifically the future."

Ivan closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes, that is definitely something to fear." He chuckled lightly. "But everything usually works itself out eventually, da?"

I smiled in agreement. "Usually that is the case."

"Who's turn is it now?" He asked, breaking off of the subject.

"Yours I believe."

Ivan rested his hand on his chin again. "Alright." A moment of silence passed and I seized my chance to take another sip of tea. He hummed once he thought of something. "Okay, I've got one. What are things you can look forward to in the future? Surely it isn't all that terrifying?"

I gave a surprised look. "Well, of course it isn't all bad. I look forward to seeing my brother again, that's for sure. But the even more distant future? I am actually excited about completing my apprenticeship and becoming a scientist."

The large man seemed a tad unsettled, the curiosity draining from his face along with its color. "Ah, so you too feel the draw of the natural world?" He murmured, trying not to sound too uncomfortable.

I had realized what made him a little on edge and quickly set to fix it. "Ah, well yes, but not in a very... morbid way. I wish to learn about natural medicines and possibly come up with new cures for mankind." A meek smile made its way onto my face. "And no, I have no interest in dissection and other such acts. I prefer to use more humane methods."

Ivan visually calmed a bit. "That is interesting, so you will try to find ways to reverse illnesses? How will you know if these 'medi-medicm-in-ums...'" He struggled with the pronunciation.

"Medicines." I offered with a little giggle.

"Yes, those. How will you know if they work?" He finished.

"Well, there is a final trial in which I have to find volunteers that are willing to try such things. These are usually critically ill people who are desperate for any kind of cure. Most of the time it is a success."

"And if it is not?" Ivan asked.

I shrugged. "Then it is a failed experiment and I would have to try again."

He was silent, nodding slowly in understanding. "Okay..." The silence dragged on as he stared down in thought.

"Are you ready for your question?" I asked, trying to get away from the suffocating cloud of quiet.

Ivan frowned. "Madeline?"

"Yes?" I watched his face closely, looking for any change in his mood.

"These failed experiments, what happens to them?" Ivan glanced up to my face, his eyes filled with innocent questioning. I could see the look of recognition in the darkness within them.

"W-well, they are failed... so... ultimately they are dropped and completely forgotten."

He looked back down at his hands resting over his knees. "What if they are not forgotten? What if the failed experiment were to be a cure for something else entirely? Would they be of use then?"

I sighed with a frown. _So this is what he is getting at. _"If the experiment does have a use, then I do suppose then it would be used normally."

"Do you think that... maybe it could be used to save lives?" He glanced up at me again with his large hopeful eyes.

"Yes, Ivan. Of course it would." I offered a gentle smile. "And I know that you can too, you aren't a failed experiment, you've got reasons to be here, right? _Everyone is born for a reason."_

Ivan's frown slowly lifted, though it twitched and fought to fall again. "I guess that you are right." He murmured.

I nodded. "Of course I am. Now, what was I going to ask you again...?"

* * *

><p>That night I could not sleep, if it be dread or excitement, I was unsure. My eyes rested gently on the girl sleeping soundly across from me. I watched as her side rose and fell softly, like the falling of the snow. The light from the crescent moon poured gently inside the window, allowing me to see her features in its enchanting blue hue. Her hair, even now matted and gnarled without enough care was beautiful like bright sunflower petals. Just admiring it brought me back to my earlier more curious days. I remembered the high-pitched giggling of Feliciano and Ludwig and the quiet chastising from their mother Elizabeta. The smell of spring filled my nostrils and I almost felt at home again. A smile crept onto my face without my permission. I cherished such fond memories, it seemed like they were the only things keeping me tied down to this harsh reality. Even now I felt like a memory was being made. Madeline made me feel so happy in one single day, she being just a stranger to me a few nights before. She had given me my very first friend and made me feel needed, that was all I could ask for from anyone.<p>

However, a troubling thought suddenly crossed my mind. It forced the sunny spring day in my old home from my mind, leaving me back in my new home.

She's going to become just that soon, a memory...

I frowned, cradling my head in my hand. I don't think I'll ever be able to meet anyone so kind towards myself ever again. Madeline has been the only person who has even spoken to me, and with such gentle tones... Some part of me loathed the change, it left a sinking feeling in my gut that made me nauseous. I couldn't just allow my friend to fade away to my memories...

I lifted my head to look back up at her sleeping frame. A small rush stirred inside that left me feeling oddly afraid. _I_ _think I'm too attached... to let her go..._


	12. A Search Party of Three

It was early morning when I was awoken by a gentle shake of my shoulder. A voice just above me murmured something unintelligible. I had a tough time opening my eyes this morning. Sleep was heavy on my mind, I must have actually gotten a good night's rest.

"Hmm?" I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"It's time to go Madeline, if we don't get going soon, the day may just pass us by." Ivan whispered.

I remembered the events of yesterday instantly, and a smile uncontrollably appeared on my face. "Of course!" I blinked the sleep from my eyes and sat up.

Ivan smiled back. "I like your enthusiasm."

I rolled out from under the covers and stood up. "Let's go find Al." I clenched my fist with quivering excitement.

Ivan scooped me up gently and took me outside, reflecting back the same happiness I felt. "Yes, of course." He agreed.

As we stepped into the frigid air I took in a short gasp. My skin paled and the hair on my arms stood up. I shivered, though I did not allow it to faze me. Today was going to be a good day, no matter what. I watched with unrestrained excitement as we came to the sled. It was a bit bigger looking without all of the snow on it. And now I could see the few bags of supplies firmly tied to the back. My eyes lit up when I spotted the furry mass of muscle and love standing just beside it.

"A-A dog?" I blurted out, turning to Ivan.

Ivan shrugged, smiling wide. "He kept visiting me whenever I was working on the sled." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, I'm not really sure what he wants, but I thought maybe he could help us." Ivan allowed me to stand in the snow temporarily and giggled. The fluffy white substance came all the way up to my knees and bit with furious cold. I ignored it the best I could. "Watch this." He snapped his finger and whistled. The large dog turned around, its long tongue lolling out of its mouth. It barked loudly, charging over. I drew back in surprise when it crashed into Ivan, throwing him into the snow. A giggle rose in my throat as I watched it shower him in saliva.

"He's quite a happy dog." I stated. "And large! Do you know if anyone owns him?"

Ivan shook his head, sitting up in the snow. The dog continued to lick his face happily. "No, I don't think so. He doesn't have a collar..."

I held my hand out hesitantly, keeping a watchful eye of the dog's long curved fangs. "I think I remember seeing those dogs before... " The dog lifted its head and tilted it in my direction. "Yes, my brother was thinking of getting one when we first came here. They're bred to hunt bears."

Ivan pushed himself back up off the ground and brushed himself off. "Ah, then he is not a sled dog?"

"No, but he's surly strong enough to pull one." I answered. The dog came over to me slowly and uncertainly, pushing his nose out to sniff me. I nodded encouragingly, turning my palm over. "That's it, I won't hurt you."

The dog prodded my hand with his large wet nose, glancing up to me. I smiled, "See?" It immediately brightened up, licking my palm with its big wet tongue. I giggled and pet its heavy white fur. "You're a very pretty boy aren't you?"

Ivan came over, bending his knees to accompany us. "Would you like to give him a name?" He looked up to me then down at the dog.

I had to think about it for a moment. _Name... Name..._ A name suddenly came to mind and I smiled wide. "How about Kuma?"

Ivan blinked a few times, raising his eyebrows. He reached out to pet the dog, "Kuma... That's an odd name, Madeline, I can't say I've ever heard it before."

I joined him in petting him. "Kumajirou, that's it. His name will be Kumajirou."

Ivan shrugged, as Kumajirou panted happily. "Then we shall call him as such. Kuma- jir... ou." He hummed. "Where did you come up with that name?" His attention turned to me.

I smiled in remembrance. "My papa once bought me a stuffed bear named Kumajirou. I loved it dearly... Though now I don't remember where it could have possibly gone..."

Ivan smiled. "That sounds like a nice memory."

I nodded as Kumajirou began to lick my knuckles. "Yes, I do miss my parents sometimes, but knowing they are in a better place makes me feel better."

Ivan blinked in understanding, petting Kumajirou's ear one last time before standing up. His knees popped as he straightened up, staring ahead. "We'd better get moving soon, Madeline. The morning has almost lost its breath."

I patted Kumajirou and stood up as well. "Yes, of course." The urgency of our mission once again flooded my mind.

Ivan pulled his arms out of his coat and slipped it from his shoulders. "Here, put this on and sit down on the sled." He pointed his finger to my wooden transportation to emphasize his point.

I hesitantly took it from his offered hand, frowning. "But I-"

"I'll be fine, you worry about yourself please, I don't want you freezing out here." His fierce violet eyes were locked onto my own, showing just how serious he was.

I swallowed my next statement and did as instructed.

He trudged through the snow up to the front where a rope extended out. A small smile spread across his lips and he knelt down. "Come here then, Kumajirou, you're going to help us." He snapped his finger for the large dog's attention. Kumajirou perked his ears and came rushing over, panting happily. Ivan pet him on the head. "Okay, just as we practiced." He took the rope in his hands and held it out to the dog.

Kumajirou looked down at it and up to Ivan, seemingly bewildered. Ivan smirked, lifting a brow. "Come on now, you didn't forget our deal, did you?"

I rested down onto the sled, brushing my skirt beneath my bottom and made myself comfortable. To the side of me were a few containers of supplies, crudely tied down with rope. I glanced back over to my two companions.

Ivan petted Kumajirou again. "I'll give you the best piece of my next kill, I promise. Then afterwards you can have the bones, you just have to help me pull this." He again offered the rope in his hand.

Kumajirou's tail wagged back and forth in excitement. He let out a deep bark and scooped the rope from Ivan's hand into his mouth.

Ivan chuckled and patted Kumajirou. "Good dog, thank you!" Kumajirou watched him as he came back over to me. Ivan checked the ropes tying down the supplies and turned to me. "Are you ready, then?"

I looked down at myself once more, then back at the barn. "Yes, I think so."

Ivan nodded. "Good, hold on tight, I'm not sure how bumpy this may be."

I gave him a confused look, until a sudden jolt from below almost threw me back. A surprised squeal escaped my mouth as Kumajirou began to pull me forward. I glanced over to Ivan in confusion as he trudged along with us. "A-aren't you going to join me?"

Ivan shook his head. "No, then the sled would be too heavy for poor Kumajirou." He pointed to the big white dog, still happily walking along. "Besides," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded yellowed square. "I'm the navigator."

I frowned, feeling a little guilty. His shirt could barely pass as rags, and his scarf wasn't enough for his whole body. I saw how pale his skin had faded and was reminded of the snow all around us. "Won't you be cold?"

"Not really, I'm pretty used to it by now." He stated simply, turning away.

_He will never cease to amaze me_, I thought to myself before turning my attention to the receding scenery. A feeling of regret wormed its way into my chest and I sighed. "I know I haven't been here for long, but I somehow feel homesick..."

"Do not fret." Ivan answered, the ghost of a smile on his face. "You will soon be in your own home, and this one won't seem as sad."

I frowned. "But won't you miss it as well? It is your home after all."

He was silent for a moment, I thought he had not herd me.

"Won't you miss-"

"Sometimes it is easier to let go, I'll probably settle somewhere else anyway." Ivan interrupted. He glanced down at his paper, unraveling it. It was a map of the general area. "Maybe I could find something better than a barn? Perhaps an abandoned home if I'm lucky."

It all sounded terribly sad to me. I tried to sound hopeful. "Maybe you could move somewhere warmer? Completely out of Arthur's reach?"

Ivan sighed, closing up his map again and shoving it in his pocket. "Let us focus on one thing at a time, if you don't mind."

I shut my mouth with a nod, feeling a little bad for intruding on his business. "Sorry." I murmured.

We kept traveling for a while longer, the barn slowly fading into the distance, a red dot on the forest's edge. Ivan eventually picked up his pace, walking far ahead of Kumajirou. He helped navigate by whistling for him, or snapping his fingers. I made sure to hold on tight, Kumajirou may not be a sled dog, but he was definitely strong like one.

It must have been mid afternoon when I saw Ivan again, he was walking back towards us.

I felt a knot in my stomach, tightening as he neared. _Did he find Alfred?_ I thought, o_r perhaps a sign of him?_

Kumajirou came to a stop as he walked by, resting down in the snow. He panted, rolling over onto his back playfully. Ivan smiled, rubbing his exposed belly. "Good boy." He praised. I watched them interact with a shaky smile. It was a sweet scene to behold at the moment, but my anxiety was getting to me.

"What did you see?" I asked aloud.

Ivan glanced up from Kumajirou, leaning away. "Well, I'm not sure if it's very important, but we've reached the lake." Kumajirou rolled back over and yawned. Ivan came over, a canister held out in one hand. "Are you thirsty? It's a bit cold from the ice, but they say frozen lake water is very clean."

I lifted a brow, crossing my arms with a playful smirk. "And who are 'they'?"

Ivan cheeks flushed pink. "Er.. Me..."

I rolled my eyes. "You're the expert. Yes, I am a little thirsty, thank you."

Ivan came over and knelt beside the sled, holding the metal canister out. "Here you go, and you're very welcome." Our hands touched for a brief moment, and I felt just how icy cold his were. I shivered and used the sleeves of his coat as gloves to take the water.

"Are you _sure_ you aren't cold?" I asked again, giving him a look.

Ivan sighed. "I am fine, worry about yourself." He waited, watching as I pulled the bottle to my lips and took a drink.

The cold water rushed through me and I trembled. I handed it back, bundling back up as best I could. That was a bad idea, a very bad idea. Ivan took the canister from my hands, carefully setting it to the side. "Better?" He asked.

I shivered, shrinking my head and arms into the jacket. My teeth chattered and I whined. "C-cold!"

"Are you alright?" Ivan asked, sounding concerned.

I shook my head, rubbing my arms together in an effort to warm up. The cold water felt like an icy river flowing into my stomach. A large arm wrapped around my body, pulling me closer to the edge of the sled. I popped my head back out to look up in surprise. Ivan was wrapped around me in a hug.

I felt a blush crawl up my cheeks. "I-Ivan? What a-are y-you doing?"

"You're freezing, so I'm sharing my body-heat." He stated, squishing me a little tighter.

My blush burned redder. "I-Ivan... Er... " I felt rather uncomfortable. "That's a little... eh... too close." I whispered, feeling my voice leave me.

Ivan's grip loosened and he inspected my face. He blinked in confusion, before looking away in embarrassment. "I-I didn't mean to- I mean... I-"

I shook my head. "No, it's quite alright." My eyes traveled to his face. "That was just something that, well... usually people that are more acquainted do."

He played with the fold of his scarf, nodding. "I'm sorry." He murmured, still avoiding my gaze.

I frowned. "Okay... You can have a hug... if you'd like." I opened my arms as a welcoming gesture, shivering as the cold winter air forced my hair to stand up.

Ivan glanced up, his face was bright red. He hesitantly inched closer, allowing his arms to fit beneath my own. I gently returned the hug, rubbing my hand over his back.

"Is... Is this what friends do?" He asked unsurely.

I smiled, nodding my head. "Of course, just make sure to ask first, okay?"

A deep rumble reverberated in his throat in what I assumed was a hum. "Da."

I was silently thankful for the extra warmth, though I felt a little concerned for him. But, knowing how he usually responded, I kept my mouth shut.

Our embrace was cut short when a loud bark came from Kumajirou. We both separated and turned our attention to him.

Kumajirou whined and came over to Ivan, nudging his nose into his leg. I smiled and he turned his head to me.

"Yes, you're our friend too." I laughed.

Kumajirou rubbed his head into my side lovingly, licking my palm.

Ivan pet his back. "Alright, we'd better get going again, if we're lucky, we may be able to find him before sun down." He glanced briefly in my direction before leading Kumajirou back to the front of the sled. The dog was more cooperative this time, giving Ivan an excited little bark. He pet his head and promised again of his much awaited meal. Moments later, I felt the sled tug beneath me, and we were off once again. Ivan steered us clear of what he said was "the lake," but I still didn't see any ice. Perhaps the reason I had fallen in originally was the snow that blanketed the ice. I kept a sharp eye out for my brother, fearing what I may see. My fears from many nights ago returned and I felt my heart begin to race. Alfred could be dead, what was it now? A week? I glanced ahead at the silhouette of our rather large navigator and back at the retreating trees. Another question posed itself. _How would Al react if he knew I had made friends with the very monster he'd been hunting?_ Surely one of them would kill the other... I just feared for the one who would be the corpse in the snow.

My anxiety only worsened as the day faded into sunset, the temperature lowering greatly. Ivan came back to us, looking rather disappointed. The both of us were low-spirited. Kumajirou stopped pulling us for a rest, flopping down on his belly into the snow. Ivan trudged over to the sled and began to unpack our supplies.

I sat with my arms crossed over my lap, watching him. "...any luck?"

He stopped what he was doing, a bottle of vodka held in one hand. His eyes flicked over, then slowly lowered to the ground. "Uh... No. Not yet." He glanced back to the supplies. "Perhaps tomorrow we will have better luck." His voice lowered as he seemed to be in thought.

"What would you like to eat?" Ivan inquired, turning his attention to me.

I shrugged. "I don't know, whatever you have I guess."

He took out some bread and frowned. Ivan held it in his hand, inspecting it before clunking it against the sled. My eyebrows raised in surprise at the sound it made.

"It's as hard as a rock..." He stated, sounding disappointed. "I'll have to get some more soon... You do not mind caribou, do you?"

I laughed. "I'm a hunter's sister, of course I enjoy gamey meat."

He smiled, sealing up our supplies back in the linen bag he had packed with food. "Ah, good." He turned his head to Kumajirou and hummed. "Okay Kumajirou, you keep her safe and I'll be back with that meal I promised." He took a lantern from the back and held it at his side.

Kuma lifted his ears and wagged his tail.

I glanced from Kuma to Ivan with a small smile. "How long do you think you'll be gone?" My smile fell into a serious line. I didn't fancy being left alone for another night, especially now that I was out in the open.

Ivan slipped something from under the supplies and held it out. My eyes skimmed over its silver surface that shone in the receding daylight. "A knife?"

He nodded. "It isn't a gun, but it's something to arm yourself with." He gestured with his head towards Kumajirou. "He may not know me well, but maybe he could get to know you better?" Ivan smiled, snapping his fingers.

Kumajirou came running over, his tongue lolling out.

I felt anxious about the whole situation.

Ivan patted his head and motioned to me. "Here, he'll keep you safe, you said it yourself, he is bred to hunt bears." I slowly extended my hand, allowing Kumajirou to push his muzzle into it. Ivan gave the dog a very serious stare. "Please keep her safe, I don't know what I would do if I came back and she was gone." His face was grim as a flash of some hidden emotion filled his eyes. I bit my lip, staring back down to Kumajirou.

"Please, be safe." I murmured, a feeling of déjà vu filling my mind.

Ivan smiled, setting a hand on my shoulder. "It is the animal you should fear for." He assured. I glanced up momentarily. His face was dark and sanguine. I felt unnerved, but at the same time concerned for his well-being. I wanted to say something more, but before I could, his hand was lifted from my shoulder and he whisked around.

"There isn't much time before night, I will return soon. And you mustn't worry, I know this land better than any other." His voice was whisked away with the wind as he began to tread forward.

I felt my throat close up as I ran my hand over Kumajirou's head for comfort. "Please don't leave me too..." My voice shook out of my own control.

Kumajirou rested his head on my lap, letting out a short whine. I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "I know Kumajirou, I'm worried too." He cuddled closer, curling his body around me. I was thankful for his warmth and protection.

My eyes wandered up to the receding sun, a feeling colder than the frigid air filling my gut. I spoke in hushed tones to Kumajirou about how lovely his coat was and how much strength he possessed just to keep myself sane with the growing darkness around us. I wondered if I was actually going to be alone out here this time. If by a slim chance my brother did find Ivan and they would go at each other's throats. Alfred would stop at nothing to find me, if he was out here he would surely be able to sense me or Ivan.

Kumajirou sensed my feverish thoughts and reached his snout up to lick my neck. I took in a sharp breath as his saliva burned cold in the frigid air. My eyes flicked briefly towards the gleaming silver weapon at my side and I shakily sighed.

Soon the sun was completely gone and darkness hung over Kumajirou and I like an air of unknowing. My fears had changed in the past few days, it wasn't a monster of unnatural creation that I feared the most, but what else may lurk in the Siberian wilderness. I closed my eyes, leaning down to be closer with Kumajirou. "Please don't leave me out here Ivan, I-I don't want to die!" I pleaded aloud.

Time went on and my doubt only grew. I stayed close to Kumajirou, my hand resting on the knife's handle as if it were my own life. Wolves howled in the distance, and Kumajirou would growl, his shoulders tense and ready to spring. I would jump at every little sound, my knife readied to stab in the dark, what use that would give me, I didn't know.

Alas, my prayers were answered in about two or so hours, when I saw the faint light of a lantern coming back from the barrier of trees. I squinted, cursing my bad vision. All I could see was a smudge accompanied by the blur of orangish-yellow. Kumajirou sprung to his feet, his muscles bunched up. He snarled, barking defensively. I clutched my knife harder, hoping to God that it truly was Ivan.

As the figure neared, Kumajirou ran out, barking and snapping his jaws aggressively.

"Down boy! Down!" I heard the familiar voice of my travel companion shout.

My chest filled with warmth and relief flooded my body. I dropped my knife with a clatter and rested the back of my hand on my forehead. My heart was thrumming with adrenaline.

Ivan eventually made his way over, dragging something behind himself. He raised his lantern up to his face as he approached, a big smile on his face. "I've got dinner!" He exclaimed.

I laughed, more out of relief than anything. "Good! I was beginning to think that you had become dinner for something else!" Ivan dragged the animal through the snow, dropping its leg a few feet away. I squinted in the dark, trying to make out what exactly it was. The smell of blood was thick in the air, although I had grown very used to its acrid odor. My attention was pulled from the animal up to Ivan as he dropped down onto the sled. His chest heaved as he rubbed the sweat from his brow.

I raised a brow. "How was it?"

Ivan set the lantern down between us, bringing the rest of his body into the light. I drew back at the sight of blood soaking his clothing, hands, and forearms.

"Well, I couldn't find any caribou, so I just I found the next best thing." He was beaming, looking quite pleased with his work.

I tilted my head. "And? What did you kill instead?"

He picked up the lantern And strode over to the body. "A wolf of course! The forest is brimming with them!"

My eyes widened in surprise as the grey-white pelt of his kill came into view. Its pelt was stained crimson with what I hoped was its own blood. The eyes stared blankly ahead, glossy and clouded, _void of life_.

I breathed out, shaking my head. "I-I guess I should have expected it." My eyes traveled up to him. "So you just strangled it to death?!"

Ivan shrugged, still as sunny as ever. "You could say that."

I felt a shiver run up my spine when I realized that the heavy stain on its chest might be more than just a simple wound. "And... eh... You ripped its heart out?"

His face reddened in embarrassment. "Was that a bit much?"

I nodded numbly, hearing my stomach growl loudly. I've had bear before, but never wolf. Alfred said it was too tough and stringy,

Ivan bent down and wrapped his hand around the wolf's hind leg. With a swift motion and a sickening rip of flesh and bone, it was free from the body. I winced, shuddering.

He then stood up and strode over to me. I had a bad feeling in my gut._ Oh no, he's not going to hand me that, is he?_

He held out the leg with a smile. "Here, eat."

I laughed nervously, staring at the leg in masked disgust. It was oozing blood, the shattered bone sticking out. "E-eh... Thank you..." I extended my hand.

Ivan set it in my hand with a little hum. "I hope you like it, it is a nice change from bread."

I shivered, gagging as the still-warm blood stuck to my hand. The thigh fell over in my hand as the knee bent, slapping blood onto my arm. I squeaked.

He gave me a puzzled look, but brushed it off. Ivan turned around and knelt back beside the wolf. Kumajirou inched toward him hesitantly, sniffing the corpse hungrily. Ivan turned his head to him and moved over. "Here Kumajirou, you deserve it." Kumajirou glanced up to him then back down at the wolf before taking a bite out of the freshly torn wound. His tail wagged back and forth as he dug in.

Ivan ripped a fore-paw off of it and began to eat as well.

I felt my stomach twist, making me nauseous. A soft whimper escaped my lips and I set the leg down in the snow. My hunger fleeted, replaced with an ill feeling.

A few minutes later Ivan turned back to me, his mouth covered in blood. He looked like a ravenous animal. He frowned, a look of concern crossing his features. "Madeline? What's wrong? Why aren't you eating?"

I shook my head, still trying to keep my stomach still. "Ivan, it's... it's raw."

He glanced down at the leg he'd offered sitting in the snow then back to me. His eyebrows lifted and he placed a palm on his forehead. "Oh! I'm sorry, Madeline!" When he removed his hand there was a clear hand-print of blood where it had been. He set down his own meal and came over. "I forgot that humans cannot eat raw meat."

I swallowed as he picked it up, brushing the snow from the fur. He went back into the supplies and fished around for a match. "I'll go gather some sticks for a fire, I won't be long." He set the leg down on the sled and pocketed a small package of matches.

I pulled my eyebrows together frowning. "Ivan y-you don't have to leave again, I'll just-"

"Nyet, you have to eat." He gestured towards me with a hand. "You're growing too thin, if you don't eat you may shrivel up!"

I blushed, unsure if that was some sort of complement, or if it was purely out of concern for my health. Otherwise, I just nodded in agreement. "Okay."

Ivan strode over to the wolf corpse and patted Kumajirou's head. He bent down and whispered something to him, glancing over to me. Kumajirou lifted his ear to hear and then let it drop as Ivan strode off.

I whined to myself, crossing my arms inside Ivan's coat. "God damn it, he has got to stop leaving me alone."

Kumajirou turned his head momentarily, his face stained red. A high pitched whine came from him.

I sighed, dropping my gaze to the ground. "I know Kumajirou, you're here too. But I still worry."

He continued to have his meal, tearing away meat and bone happily. I kept my eyes fixed on the darkness which Ivan had disappeared into.

This time he was back within thirty minutes, a bundle of sticks and tree limbs held in his arms. He, as usual, looking pleased with himself. "I'm back, don't fret, I'll have your meal ready in no time!" He set everything down and began to clear a spot for the wood. I watched him as he set them up vertically around in a circle. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a match, striking it against the the rough sandpaper material of the box. He stared at the flame that had awoken on the tip for a moment, his eyes reflecting its quivering image. Ivan tossed it onto the sticks and blew on them. A loud hissing came from the center due to the moisture of the wood. Smoke streamed from the fire as it weakly fought to spread, licking at the twigs with its orange fingers. I could see the little twinge of uneasiness in his eyes.

He glanced up to me. "Could you throw me that leg? I hope the flames will hold out long enough without dry wood."

I nodded, turning to the severed limb at my side. With a swift motion, I picked it up and tossed it in his direction.

He caught it by the paw. "Thank you." Ivan leaned back, watching the fire closely. Every once in a while he would blow on it to keep it oxygenated. I watched as the flames grew, becoming a perfect little campfire in no time. Ivan began to cook the meat, trying his best to keep his fingers far from the greedy flames.

Kumajirou lifted his head at the smell of cooking meat, his tail wagging. I giggled, holding my hand over my mouth. "Kumajirou, you've already had your dinner silly."

Kuma glanced over to me and skipped over, looking to be quite content with a full belly.

I scratched behind his ear. He kicked his leg on the ground and panted joyfully. "You're such a silly boy!"

"Ouch!" I heard Ivan cry, pulling my attention immediately. Kumajirou turned his head as well.

Ivan held his hand close to himself, wincing.

I almost slid off the sled into the snow, realizing just in time that I couldn't possibly walk over without freezing my bare legs. "Ivan?! Are you alright?!" I called in concern.

Ivan bit his lip, nodding his head. "I just got a little too close." He answered.

I felt responsible for his pain. "Come over here, show me your hand."

Ivan shook his head. "Nyet, It is just a burn, I'll be fine." He turned back to the fire, wiping away the wince on his face.

I became annoyed. "No, no, come over here, let me see it." This time I was more forceful.

Ivan ignored my command. He turned the leg over the fire.

I let out an agitated huff. "Ivan, come over here or I'll... I'll..." I thought to myself for a moment. There was a long pause before I finally figured something out."I'll steal all of the blankets!"

Ivan looked over his shoulder with a grin. "You always do that anyway."

I felt my face grow hot in embarrassment. "Er... Fine! I'll-"

Ivan stood up from his spot by the fire, holding the meat in his good hand. "You're not really good at blackmail, are you?" He came over to me.

My face was burning in embarrassment. He offered the leg again. "Nice and cooked." I could hear the slight waver in his voice.

A small smirk played at my lips. An idea came to me. "Okay, I'll eat it... if,"

Ivan's smile dropped instantly. "No, don't-"

"If, you let me see the burn." I finished.

He pouted. "Why do you worry so much? It's just a little burn."

I held my palm out for him. "Please."

Ivan sighed and set down my dinner, extending his other hand. I took it in my own hands and brought it into the weak light of the lantern. He hissed when I accidentally ran my finger over it.

"Sorry." I apologized, staring down at the wound. A frown came to my face.

"See, nothing to worry about." He assured, gently tugging his arm to retrieve his hand.

I held it firmly, shaking my head. The wound was about the size of three of my finger and was beginning to blister. Around the initial burn, the skin had reddened with inflammation. "Here." I reached down with one hand and scooped up a handful of snow. "This may hurt, but it will help with the swelling."

Ivan turned his head away.

I carefully took the snow and eased it onto the wound. Ivan winced again, clenching his other fist tight. I patted it down for a moment and watched it begin to melt.

Ivan looked back over again, his eyes flicking down to the wound. I could see the curiosity in his expression.

"All you have to do is wrap it now, did you bring the bandages?" I asked in a hushed tone.

Ivan shook his head. "I forgot them..."

I blinked for a minute, thinking. "That's okay." My eyes ran over my dress and an idea came to mind. "I have an alternative."

He looked at me questioningly. "What else do we have?"

I switched hands and began to tear a piece from the skirt of my dress. Ivan watched as the beautiful blue fabric ripped away from my dress, looking concerned. "Madeline, y-you shouldn't do that! What about your lovely dress!?"

I shook my head, lifting a decent sized piece into the light. "Don't fret, I can always sew another." He looked away, frowning in discontent. I took the cloth and cautiously rested it against the wound, glancing towards him briefly. Ivan was as stiff as a stone, not once even flinching this time. I brightened up and tied off the cloth with a knot. "There, now isn't that better?"

Ivan downcast his eyes onto his hand and blinked. "Yes..." He mumbled before pulling it away. "Thank you."

I hummed victoriously. "Of course, you would do the same for me."

He kept his eyes glued down onto the cloth, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "Please eat now."

"Fine." I assured. "Thank you for preparing it for me."

A smile slowly crept onto his face, one that seemed to brighten his whole complexion. "You're very welcome, let me know if you need anything more, okay?"

"Okay." I answered back.

He walked back over to the wolf corpse and began to have his own dinner. I hesitantly picked up my own food and took a bite. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't pleasant either. The meat was tough and stringy with lean muscle, but I was so hungry that it being edible was all it needed to be.

I watched Ivan in the flickering lamp-light curiously. He tore at the corpse, ripping innards out in a ravenous fashion and then consuming them raw. My nose scrunched up in revulsion. His teeth shone in the dim yellow light, flashing red with blood. He looked to be completely absorbed in his meal. I cleared my throat and swallowed before speaking. "Ivan?"

He turned his head, wiping the blood off of his face with his arm. "Yes?"

I leaned my head back, whispering a silent "Oh, boy" to myself. "I think I'm going to have to teach you some table manners."

Ivan blinked looking rather clueless. "But... there is no table...?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You do know how to use a fork or a spoon, right?"

He slowly shook his head, the beginning of a blush on his cheeks. "I... uh never saw the need..." His eyes flicked to the corpse then back to me.

I waved my hand. "Never mind, er... you can resume with... that." With my head, I motioned back to the wolf and began to eat again.

Ivan frowned, "Oh... alright..." He turned back to the wolf and looked back to me. "Sorry."

I gave a light-hearted laugh. "No, no, that's alright. You aren't doing any harm."

He tried his best to be more proper this time around, instead of ripping the organs out and devouring them like a starving animal, he took another leg for himself. Ivan came over and joined me on the sled, happily eating away again. I smiled to him. "That's it, you're getting it."

Ivan's cheeks reddened and he smiled too.

Once we finished our meal, Ivan threw some snow onto the fire to put it out and took out a blanket so we could both lie down for the night. Kumajirou came over and curled up at our feet. Once we were all settled, I sighed and rested my arms behind my head. Ivan crossed his arms over his lap and stared up at the sky, his expression blank. I admired the stars as well, feeling as though a new air had blown through me. The sky was breathtaking. I swore we were at the world's edge. It was like a vast ocean had opened up above our heads, dotted with millions of little twinkling lights. I felt as though I could reach out and become entwined with the universe. Everything felt so real, so calm. Nothing stirred beside the long branches of the trees, gently being tossed about in the wind like fingers reaching for the heavens. It felt as though the three of us were the only things alive out here in thousands of miles. Small clouds of carbon dioxide spilled into the air from our gentle breathing, disappearing into the atmosphere. I felt so small at the moment.

Ivan broke the silence, pulling me back to earth. "It is breathtaking, isn't it." He stated.

I nodded my head, keeping my eyes trained on the sky. I felt that if I glanced away for even a moment that the sky would come tumbling down in a shower of shattered glass. "Yes... It is... indescribable." I blinked, prying my eyes away to glance towards my companions. Ivan had his eyes closed with his mouth partly open while Kuma slept soundly below us. I was surprised, how could anyone close their eyes with such a beautiful scene to behold?

"It is nights like this that I feel most alive." He breathed. His eyes opened slowly to view the night sky. They seemed to sparkle with wonder.

I smiled gently, turning back to once again bask in the sky. "It's an amazing feeling, escaping the droll of everyday life to just pause and watch the sky."

Ivan was silent for a long time. I heard him take a deep breath to say something, but he sighed instead. A moment of silence followed, and I observed a cloud at the sky's rim.

"You know... You really don't _have_ to go..." He said abruptly, turning his head to me.

I blinked a few times at the sudden subject change, turning my head as well. "What?"

He shifted to find a more comfortable position. "We can stay out here, you know. I-I can keep you safe from the wilderness, it would just be you, me, and Kumajirou out here, f-friends." His cheeks had faded into a delicate rose-red, his eyes flicking away from me.

I felt my own face redden, blinking in disbelief. All I could produce was a shaky "O-oh..."

Ivan shrunk his face into his scarf, shaking his head. "Eh... N-never mind..." He turned away abruptly. "Goodnight Madeline." Kumajirou let out a long yawn, awoken by the sudden movement.

I opened my mouth to say something, but my brain had short-wired and I shut it again. _That was odd..._ pondered trying to revive the conversation, but thought better to just rest instead. I turned my back to him and rested my head onto my arm. The stars above continued to spin, but now I was no longer in the mood for watching them. I sighed one last time, shivered, then closed my eyes.


	13. No More Tears

"Ivan? Ivan!" There was a sound beside me, and I heard the large man groan.

"Da? What is wrong, Madeline?" His voice was thick and groggy as he fought to wake up.

I frowned. "Y-you're crushing me again."

Ivan's eyes opened wide with surprise and he glanced down. His head had been resting at my side and his arms were wrapped around my abdomen with unrelenting strength. He quickly pulled his arms away and turned away. "I'm sorry!"

I took a deep breath, relieved to have mobility back. "That's alright." I croaked, allowing my muscles to rest from their tense positions. That had been the third time tonight that Ivan had woken me up with his snuggling. I really wanted to tell him that I wasn't comfortable with such things, but it didn't really seem like he was doing it on purpose. Each time he'd latched onto me he seemed to be lost in his dreams, sometimes whining or other times murmuring unintelligibly. I shuffled to the opposite side, shivering in the cold. Kumajirou was snoring gently at my side with his nose pushed into my feet. I shoved the blankets beneath my middle and legs and rested my head back down onto my arm.

Judging by the dimness of the stars and the rising light from the east, it must be early dawn.

I grumbled to myself. My head was killing me. If it wasn't so cold out, and I didn't have Ivan waking me up every few hours, I may have gotten at least four solid hours of sleep. Although, I couldn't really complain. It was Siberia after all, and we were out here to find my brother. I didn't sign up for any fancy living or mansions when I joined Alfred on his journey.

Then again... I didn't sign up for anything.

"Madeline?" Ivan's voice suddenly inquired, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Yes?" I answered, trying to sound as groggy as I could so that perhaps he would allow me one more hour of sleep.

"... Would you like to sleep in today?"

I almost cried out with joy, feeling my whole body become very heavy. "If that's alright with you... I kind of want a few more hours to rest." I answered calmly.

He hummed in response. "Sleep well."

I turned around to face him, cuddling up with the blankets. He had his back turned to me with his own head resting on his arm. I watched his side rise and fall as he slowly fell back asleep, eyeing his back. His shirt had been torn and battered so much over the years, leaving many holes in the back. Unlike the front of his shirt, he was unable to sew it back together. I wondered if he even noticed that it was ripped as much as it was. Then again, that wasn't my business. I closed my eyes and tried to get off of the subject. A few more minutes passed before my exhaustion forced me into another shallow sleep, which I welcomed with open arms.

These few hours of extra sleep felt like a sort of sub-heaven. I don't think I would have been able to face the day without them. For the first time, I was the first to arise. I slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Ivan's coat was still hung over my shoulders, chasing away what cold it could manage. I shivered a little as I felt a draft and glanced over to Ivan.

"Hey, are you awake?" I whispered.

There was no answer, only the chorus of snoring between the two males. I laughed under my breath, shaking my head. Boys certainly would be boys. I glanced up towards the sky and hummed to myself. It was almost as beautiful as the night, bathing the forest in bright golden rays. Even if the climate was dreadful and the creatures dangerous, I felt a twinge of attachment to the land. Siberia held such beauty that I never really experienced in England. I was thankful for the chance to see it all.

I took a deep breath in the cold morning air and exhaled gently. Today will be good, I am almost sure of it. A good morning is almost always a sign for a good day. Some fifteen minutes passed before Ivan woke up.

He rocked gently, yawning loudly. I glanced over with a smile. Ivan rolled his shoulders and slowly sat up. He still had his eyes closed when he began to stand up.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." I greeted gently.

Ivan froze immediately, his eyes flicking open. "Y-you're already awake?"

I laughed at his baffled response. "I don't sleep all day, if that was what you were hinting at."

He stumbled over his words, trying to respond. "I... er didn't mean that-"

I giggled. "I'm just joking with you."

Ivan blinked a few times in confusion, before his flustered expression uneasily melded into a smile. Although, it seemed as though he didn't understand why he was smiling. "Would you like to eat something before we go?"

I weighted the decision before nodding my head. "Sure."

Ivan got up and retrieved our breakfast from the leftovers he had so nicely ripped from our dinner. He seemed to brighten up as our meal progressed, happily petting Kumajirou as he sat beside me on the sled. I watched them with a gentle smile, my whole body feeling slight, as if the cold wasn't bothering me. Ivan fed Kumajirou as well, and hummed to himself. I didn't recognize the tune, but I guessed that he had probably made it up on his own. It didn't bother me, not even the slightest; if anything, it made me feel better.

Ivan didn't seem to be effected by the odd occurrences that night. Unless he was very good at hiding his feelings to which I would be a little surprised. I didn't really expect that from someone like him, he seemed too straight forward with how he felt.

"How did you sleep?" I asked suddenly, my mouth forming the question on my mind.

Ivan's hand paused on Kumajirou's back, and he glanced over. "Hmm?"

My cheeks flushed a little. His mouth was clearly full, I felt like it was a bad time. I stumbled to retract my question, but he continued.

Ivan swallowed hard and gave me a long look, before his eyebrows shot up and he smiled. "I slept alright."

I blinked in surprise at his sudden change of demeanor, left a little blank minded. A few moments passed before I nodded. "That's good, I was a little worried." I stated simply.

Ivan turned his head away suddenly, petting Kumajirou again. I lifted a brow and watched him. He kept his face hidden from me, but seemed relatively sound with his body movements. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why? Are you okay?" He didn't turn to address me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned my head to view the out-stretching snow. "No, no, I'm fine."

He hummed pleasantly beside me. "Good, we'll be leaving in a few minutes. Please finish up."

I glanced down at my own meal and sighed; wolf meat was weird. "Okay."

I threw the remainder of my meal into the snow as we began to head off again. This time, Kumajirou was more cooperative, being more than happy to pull the sled for us. Ivan once again took his place at the side for a little bit. I hugged his coat tight and kept an eye out for anything suspicious.

After a few minutes, I noticed Ivan's presence still at my side rather than ahead. I tilted my head curiously at this, glancing over. Ivan strode along at his own pace, his eyes staring off into space, seemingly without a care in the world. He noticed my gaze after a while and looked over. "Isn't today lovely?" His voice seemed cheerful enough, so I chose to mimic it.

I forced a small smile. "Yes, I do presume it is." Ivan flicked his gaze from me back to the path ahead. "Do you know where we're going?" I asked to grab his attention again.

Ivan once again looked over. "Hmm?"

"Where are we going?" I repeated.

Ivan smiled. "Well, I thought we'd check around the west side first... Is that alright with you?"

I shrugged. "Anywhere is a good start, I guess."

He smiled gently, his expression softening with sympathy. "We'll find him. I promise."

I nodded and downcast my eyes. "Mmhmm."

The air between us became very quiet as we returned to our separate thoughts. I tumbled back into my troubled state of mind and sighed. God did I hope Al was alright. I'd do anything to see him again; or rather anything to see him _alive_.

"Do you like it here?" Ivan asked abruptly, tearing me away from my thoughts. I glanced over with a cocked brow.

He was looking back, but this time with a curious expression. I looked into his eyes for a moment before answering. "It's alright, I guess. I don't really like the cold, but the scenery is beautiful." The small talk was plentiful today.

Ivan smiled at that, his lips curving just enough to seem genuinely pleased. "I agree, it is lovely here. I wouldn't trade it for the world. This is home to me now." I nodded numbly, glancing up to the sky. Morning was definitely on its last legs. "I remember being here before, actually." He continued

I turned my attention back onto him in puzzlement. "You do?"

He bobbled his head. "It isn't much of a memory, but I still cherish it." Ivan's smile was gentle and his eyes wistful when he looked onward. "Some nights I remember other things, things that I don't recall ever doing in my short life. Then there are other nights that it seems all too familiar when I dream." I frowned when his face suddenly became solemn. His lips down curved and his eyes drooped, seemingly with bad thoughts. "It kind of makes me wish I could have that other life. Of the man who had once lived here."

I tilted my head to the side. "But he was a criminal, you said it yourself. At least now you have a clean slate."

Ivan lifted up his hand and stared at it for a long moment. "But to dream of a clear complexion and a happy heart... That's what I really want. I can only have such things in my dreams." He allowed his arm to drop and rested his eyes on the snow beneath his feet.

I sighed. His depressing mood wasn't helping my own. "You don't need a perfect body if you can show people how you feel inside." I offered in a slight tone.

Ivan shook his head, his platinum hair tossing messily with it. I noticed that it had become rather long compared to what a normal man would wear. "It is easy for a pretty girl like you to say. When I show people how I feel they always end up ...dead." His voice ended on a broken note, which shook me.

It really wasn't something I'd like to hear. "Well, you haven't killed me... R-right?"

Ivan glanced down at his hands, flexing his knuckles. "Yes... I guess so." He murmured.

"You've just got a lot of this stuff bottled up, maybe if you opened up more often, it would become easier to channel yourself."

Ivan's eyes flicked over to me, and he pouted. "I don't like it."

"But it's healthy for you." I insisted.

He shook his head again. "I don't like how vulnerable it makes me. It makes me scared and anxious."

I wished I could offer a little more comfort, but we were still moving on our perilous journey westword. He was staring at me with his low eyes and a frown, probably expecting something more of me. I felt truly bad for him, I really did, but there was no way I could change him. "Ivan, you have to accept that it's scary and accept it how it is. Trust me, I know plenty about this. If you don't open up, you'll become this mindless being everyone fears. Because fear turns into anger, and I'm sure that you understand what that's like. If you share your fears like you did the other day, they become someone else's burden as well."

Ivan just stared at me, his expression unchanging. It took a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, but he eventually glanced away. "I do not want to burden you." He finally said.

"No, no, no. That's not what I meant when I said burden-"

Before I could finish, Ivan had already taken up the lead beside Kumajirou, where he proceeded to take out his map again. I sighed heavily and pulled my knees to my chest to rest my head on them. Ivan made it really hard to perceive himself sometimes. I just wanted to understand, so that maybe someday he could become something more to himself than a creature without purpose.

I watched the passing forest with weary eyes, continuing my search for my beloved brother. But again, as time went on, my mind crawled with boredom, and I thought about Ivan and his predicament. He gave off the vibe that he'd like to share how he felt, and just have the ability to put his trust into someone, but his instincts tell him to do otherwise. Ivan had been isolated from human contact for his whole life, and truly, deep down he still had a human mind. Even I forgot that sometimes though, if even in fleeting thoughts or little petty things he'd do that reminded me so. I could still remember how happy he looked when I told him I considered him a friend. A deep feeling twinged in my gut and I frowned. He's been trying so hard to live up to that ever since I've come into contact with him. Ivan was the one that extended himself out to save me, and even when I was afraid he tried to help. It would only be right if I put an effort out also.

But what I would say, was a mystery.

I squinted at the forest ahead, searching for his figure. He was only a dot in my vision, too far to even make out. I sighed and wrapped my arms around my legs. Ivan had to know that I was willing to reciprocate for his sake, even if it meant listening to his whole life story. He had listened to me whenever I was in distress in the night and he had been the one to comfort me. Even if I barely even knew him, he still acted as if his world meant little to my own comfort. I felt tears begin to crawl beneath my eyes, surprising me momentarily. Why was I crying now?

I tried to blink my tears away, but that only blurred my vision. The trees warped and became long twisted shapes, and the sled became a large brown blur. I rubbed my arm over my eyes to wipe away the wetness. _Stop it._ I urged myself. _Stop crying_.

With my struggle, I almost didn't notice the sled coming to a slow stop. I heard a low whine and felt Kumajirou rub up against me. My eyes flicked over and I rested a hand on his back. He was still holding the rope in his jaws as he tried to lick my hand. I rested my palm over his head and swallowed my tears. "It's alright Kuma, I'm fine. You have to go back to pulling the sled before Ivan gets out of sight."

A distant whistle rang in the air and Kumajirou's ears lifted. He stood completely still, turning his head to see the source. His mouth opened and closed before he turned back to me.

My eyebrows lifted at his odd response. Usually hunting dogs were very obedient; I wondered why he chose now to disobey.

I heard the crunching of snow begin to approach and glanced upwards. Ivan came over, his face twisted with concern. "What's wrong? Did he hurt himself?" Ivan bent down to pet him.

I shook my head. "I don't know, he just came to me."

Kumajirou glanced over from Ivan to me, beginning to pant again. I rubbed his ear, smiling meekly.

"Madeline... you're crying." Ivan stated, his head tilting to look up at me.

I shook my head quickly. "N-no, it's just to cold air. It's getting in my eyes."

I felt Ivan's hand rest on my chin as he turned my head up to view my face. I shut my eyes tight and tried to pull away.

Ivan's thumb rubbed against my left cheek as he cleared away the icy trail below my eye. "You're crying." He stated again.

My cheeks flushed and I insisted. "No, I'm not!"

His knuckles ran over my other cheek and I felt more tears threaten to fall. "We'll find him, I know we will. There is no reason to cry."

"N-no. It's not that, I just- I..." I opened my eyes to look into his face; he looked concerned. A hiccup forced its way from my throat. "I don't know." I whined, holding my arms together. My body shook as I went into another weeping fit.

I felt Ivan's arms slowly wrap around me in a tight hug. He drew me close to his chest, rubbing his hand almost mechanically on my back. He hadn't asked for the hug, but at the time it didn't bother me. I wept into his chest, oblivious as to why I was so upset. Kumajirou rubbed up against us, jabbing his nose into my side in a loving manner. Ivan was silent while I cried, allowing me to get it all out of my system. His body was warmer than I had imagined, chasing away the cold as he held me firmly. I cried and cried until I could no longer produce tears, as to which I slowly stopped shaking. It was a good thirty minutes before I stopped, which Ivan had been persistently patient.

When I was finished, he carefully let go. "Are you alright now?" He asked in a soft tone.

I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve and nodded. I felt stupid for crying as much as I had, and for seemingly nothing. Ivan stayed by my side for as long as I needed, giving as much support as he could. He seemed very off-put at his inability to make me happy again.

Strangely enough, his presence only made me more upset. Just looking at him made me want to cry. I hoped it wasn't something awful that my conscious held onto.

When I seemed to have become neutral again, Ivan turned to get up and resume with our search. A stabbing pain pierced my chest and I reached out to make him stay. "Ivan, please. Stay just for a few more minutes." I begged.

Ivan's eyebrows lifted and his expression became surprised, but he complied anyway. I took a shaky breath and released it in a short white wisp. Suddenly, a realization hit me like a slap to the face.

I would miss him when he was gone.

It all come crashing into me now, forcing me to give a weak whimper. I cherished our friendship so much, as it had been my first besides my own brother. Ivan had been the first person I'd ever felt close enough to to share my feelings with. Even Alfred was a bit distant when it came to such things. I never told him how I felt about my fears, because I thought that he would shrug it off in the way he always would. I didn't want to show him how weak I was, because I knew he already felt that I was something fragile to be protected. Maybe I just wanted to feel important and independent. Or maybe I was a bit jealous of Alfred for being the bigger sibling.

"Ivan." I muttered, glancing up to him.

Ivan looked down at me with a patient nod. "What is it?"

I blinked a few times, becoming lost in his expression. Thoughts buzzed around my mind uselessly, melting away my ability to speak. _What was I going to say? God damn it, now I have to say something!_ "Eh... I... I'm s-sorry."

He tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything wrong."

I shook my head, flicking my eyes away. "I-I'm sorry for getting you into this mess."

Ivan laughed lightheartedly. "If anything, it's my fault. You do not have to apologize."

I sniffled and swallowed hard. "Thank you..."

Ivan leaned over and rested his arm over my shoulders. "Would you like another hug?" He asked politely.

I smiled a little at that and nodded. "Yes... please."

Ivan wrapped both of his arms around me from the side, in a sort of awkward way. He pressed the side of his head into my shoulder and sighed. I rubbed his arm thankfully. "I'm glad to have a friend like you, Ivan."

I heard him hum deep in his chest. "I cherish friends..."

Kumajirou forced his way between us, and Ivan had to reposition himself, so he could wrap an arm around us both. "They make me very happy!"

I giggled and sighed with content. There was no reason to be upset, today is a good day.

* * *

><p>The day went on, and I noticed Madeline's mood lighten. She began to speak more to me than she had previously, telling me more of her younger days as a child with her brother Alfred. I listened intently, intrigued by the prospect of how childhood worked. Madeline seemed more comfortable with me now and this brought much happiness into my heart. I put more effort into searching for Alfred today with the intent of keeping her happy.<p>

Although, I did feel a little worm of guilt penetrate my mind.

My hand rested at my pant pocket, where my map sit, folded neatly from my last use. I slipped it out and surveyed it beneath the starlight. A frown crawled onto my face and I sighed.

"I should tell her..." I said to myself.

The map that I had been 'surveying' all day, wasn't even a map at all; it was just a blank piece of paper with several creases and impurities, folded in such a way that one would think it was one without a second glance.

I had been leading us farther and farther into the thick of the forest, far from the hunting sights and charted land. No one had ever roamed these woods, not even me. I would never travel here on my own, it was too much of a risk to explore where there were no maps. But it was all with good reason, right? I would keep Madeline safe for as long as I could before eventually bringing her back to her brother. She wouldn't mind if I just... prolonged the search, right? She would see Alfred eventually, and she would be still be happy, right? There was no harm in what I was doing.

I just wanted her to myself. If only for a while longer...

**A/N **

**Here I am interrupting again, yadda yadda. I'm sorry for such a delay for this chapter, so to make it up to you guys, I've got another chapter coming tomorrow! Woo!**


	14. Falling Apart

I sat there on the hard wooden sled that night, fading in and out of sleep. Usually I would have terrifying nightmares from night to night, jolting me awake at ungodly hours with cold sweats and a pounding heartbeat. But tonight was different. I just couldn't seem to shake it off as I usually would.

My eyes snapped open and I gasped, feeling the world suddenly come crashing into me like a two realities colliding. Sleep was still fresh in my mind when I blinked me eyes several times to clear them. The sky above was barely touched by dawn's slender fingers, still harboring a few late-shining stars. Kumajirou cuddled up close to my side, resting his head on my hip. I sat up, holding a hand over my chest. Sweat dampened my skin and I could feel the familiar crawl of adrenaline in my veins. I It wasn't a nightmare that had disturbed me, but a dream.

I had dreamt of Madeline; dear Madeline, with her perfectly rosy cheeks and dripping honey hair. She had comforted me in a setting that would have come rather close to nightmares. But I hadn't been afraid, not even the slightest. Even with my dreadful stitches pulling and coming apart at the seams, a scene very much worthy of terror, it had been oddly... pleasant. Madeline had been there, kneeling beside me with a sweet smile and an offered hand. I wished to take it, but my arm had become useless, torn, and bloodied. It looked horrid and bruised, even pitiful. Madeline tilted her head with a gentle smile. She reached her hand out to take my own. I watched silently, my muscles failing to respond. My paralysis was not in agony, however, only curiosity. She held my lame arm and inspected it, running her soft fingers over the torn flesh. Much to my dismay, I could only make incoherent rumbling instead of words, as my jaw wished not to move. Madeline wrapped her fingers around my wrist and turned over my arm. My veins were an ugly blue, scattering into tightly-knit networks like rivers running down a mountain. Everything felt so real... She shook her head with a tisk. I looked up to her in confusion, feeling a little hurt at her response. Madeline took out some string and a needle from practically nowhere and began to re-suture my skin. Her care amazed me. She made it all the way up my arm, putting me back together again one suture at a time. One by one, I felt life return to my limbs. It wasn't until she reached my neck that I felt an odd sensation. Her gentle fingers brushed over my scar where my head was separated from the rest of my body. I felt a tingling run up my spine, growing warm beneath her touch. Madeline set down her needle and thread and placed her hands on either side of my head. I blinked a few times in puzzlement, before I felt the weight beneath me rise. She held up my head, completely apart from my body. Normally this would manifest fear, but oddly enough, I felt none. It was strange being able to look down at my own body. Madeline brought my head closer to her own face, and I felt her breath tickle my cheeks, fleeting in the chilled air. Our noses just touched when I felt reality rip me away from unconsciousness like a cruel reaper.

My heart hammered beneath my palm in remembrance. It felt as if I was afraid, but there was no threat present. Clearly Madeline wouldn't tear my head off, so why was I so afraid? Why had a dream shaken me so much?

I reached a shaky hand up to my neck and pulled my scarf looser. The cool Siberian air chilled my freshly exposed skin. My fingers ran across the scar there, feeling for any impurities. I felt a little tear in the front and hitched my breath. _That's a first... I don't think I've ever pulled a stitch before..._ This worried me.

I turned to Madeline, biting my lip. _Could it have been...? No_. I shook my head to clear it of my petty thoughts. I would just have to fix it sooner or later if I am to get my hands on some thread.

I pulled my scarf back on tight and took a deep breath. There is no use dwelling on such petty things, it is time to get this morning moving along. My eyes flicked back down to Madeline momentarily, and I frowned. She looked so peaceful, to wake up such a gentle creature would be a crime... I glanced up at the sky.

"I guess we could go in an hour or two..." I breathed to myself. Madeline had seemed very happy to have an extra hour of sleep the day before. The sun had just begun to rise, bathing the sky in brilliant pinks and oranges. Passing clouds looked like foreign objects, blotting out the sun as they drifted by ever-so slowly. It was a beautiful morning; I had to admit. But I could tell that such glamour would not last for very long.

The air had stilled, trapping the surrounding forest in an impenetrable silence. A storm was coming. I reached out a hand to carefully set it down on Kumajirou's haunch. He made a low sound, rapping his tail against the wood in response. I ran my hand slowly through his fur, stopping at the base of his tail and then returning it farther up. The large dog sighed tranquilly.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was a pause, then I exhaled. Peace felt good for once. I tried to imagine what the day may hold for my companions and I. Perhaps we would be successful in finding Alfred? Would he be alright? I wondered. Will he be afraid...? How will he react? What did he look like?

I grumbled under my breath, chasing away my troubled thoughts. Madeline moved beside me, and I took the opportunity to get off subject.

I glanced over curiously. Madeline rested her head against the inside of her arm with her lips slightly parted. Her delicate shoulders rose and fell gracefully as she slept soundly. I wondered if she was dreaming, or what she may be dreaming about.

Was _I_ in her dreams?

Kumajirou jerked beside me, breaking my focus. I turned my head to the side. "What's wrong Kumajirou?"

The large dog jumped to his paws and enmities a low growl. His ears turned in all directions as he tried to locate some unheard sound. I felt a sudden spike of fear, following his gaze. "Kuma?" My body froze, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Don't move or you'll be tasting lead." I found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. My mind swirled dizzily with a mixture of fear and confusion. I dared to look up at whom the weapon was attached to. A man with fringed blonde hair and Icy blue eyes stared back, glowering. I was taken aback by his features and how familiar they were. There was slight movement by my side, and I instinctively moved to block Madeline.

"Ivan?" I heard her groggy voice inquire. "What's wrong?"

The man narrowed his eyes, jabbing me in the chest with his gun. "Move over." He growled.

I didn't budge, scowling. "Never." I bared my teeth and balled up my fist at my side.

The man nudged me again with his gun, this time the barrel lifting back to my head. "I said move!"

Before I could react, he threw me to the side with a swift crack using the butt of his gun, forcing me out of the way. I slumped into the snow face-first, the side of my head throbbing like mad. Rage bloomed fresh in my chest, and I quickly collected myself up, pulling my face from the snow.

"Alfred?!" Madeline gasped, her eyes wide with shock.

I was shocked as well, but still angry none-the-less. _Alfred...?! What is he doing?!_

The blonde man- or _Alfred_, whipped around lightning fast with his gun. "You miserable wretch!" He howled. "You monster!" Rage flared in his eyes, which made me suddenly fearful.

I tried to pull myself to me feet before he stomped over, but I was too late. The scarf around my neck tightened like a boa constrictor. I gasped, clawing at the fabric while an unknown attacker tore me upwards.

"Hold it still Gilbert, I want to hear it sing." Alfred came trudging over and I flailed, groaning in anger.

Through the scatter of dots in my vision, I could just make out Madeline holding Kumajirou as best she could. The large dog barked and snarled with spittle dripping from his maw. "A-Alfred! Don't do this! Please stop!" She screamed.

Alfred looked unfazed. This only infuriated me even more. The man behind me pulled tighter and I felt my lungs begin to shrivel without oxygen. My bolts were beginning to dig further into my skin and my panic rose. Alfred stopped right before me, his rifle pointed at my head. My heart palpitated with a mixture of fear and anger.

_Don't do this..._ I felt my mind slipping. _Madeline will be upset..._ I prayed that they would release me, for if they didn't...

Alfred bent down low, peering into my face. He narrowed his eyes threateningly, scrunching up his nose. "First you elude me, almost get me killed by a grizzly bear, and now? Now you capture my sister?! A horrifying wretch such as yourself!?" He drew his hand out and swiftly struck me across the face. I let out a hoarse grunt, but did not release the binding around my neck. He tilted his head mockingly. "What are you anyway? A demon? A corpse?"

I stared back at him, gritting my teeth.

Madeline's cries rang in my ears. "Stop! Please! Alfred!"

I snarled.

Alfred struck me again, but this time I swiftly grabbed his wrist.

He looked surprised with his eyes widening, but he continued. "What are you going to do? I'll have a bullet in your brain before you can even lift another finger." He sneered.

I lurched my head forward and butted our heads with a heavy thunk. My attacker from behind had been caught off guard, my force throwing him forward as well. Alfred was knocked aback and I took my chance. I slapped my hand against the side of his head and smashed him into the ground.

Madeline screamed in terror.

"No." I rasped. Oxygen flooded my lungs once again and adrenaline pulled through my veins. Alfred struggled beneath me as I pressed harder. "No!" I roared again. I wrapped my hands around his throat, feeling my anger take hold of me. He squirmed and writhed like a helpless worm.

I felt several blows to my back as Gilbert tried to pry me off of Alfred. "Get the fuck off of him!" He shouted. But I was in no mood to let go. I wasn't going to stop until Alfred was silenced forever.

"Ivan!" Madeline's shrill cry rang in my ears. I growled, digging my nails into the young man's neck. "Ivan stop!" She sounded horrified.

"You. You will leave us alone!" I snarled breathlessly. He sputtered and tried to push himself up, but he was no match for my superior strength.

"Ivan you're hurting him!"

I flicked my gaze up to Madeline and narrowed my eyes. My body stiffened and my muscles bunched. She was hugging Kumajirou desperately with tears pouring down her face; she looked almost like a child in distress. A wicked thought crossed my mind, so devilish I had to momentarily question my motives. I released my hands from Alfred and he gasped like a fish, sputtering and coughing. Her eyes widened in terror as I stood.

Gilbert pulled on my scarf again, but the rip of cloth had kept him back. I felt his weight fall off within a second. "Sh-Shit!" He fell back into the snow with a audible thud.

I did not stop, my focus was now on her. To me she seemed so _easily_ helpless. Her body quaked as I neared and her face had paled. I stood looking down on her with a scowl. The blood was rushing in my ears as I beheld her.

A bark erupted from Kumajirou and he bared his fangs. He growled at me threateningly as I stood there breathing heavily, terrible images reeling across my eyes. I knelt down close to Madeline to stare her in the face, but she shied away.

I snarled and reached my hands out to grab her, enraged by her incompetence. But, I stopped myself half-way, with a sudden realization. My body had frozen completely; I couldn't move a muscle. Madeline was sobbing, her delicate body shaking like mad. Her eyes were shut tight to block out her final moments. My hands twitched and I quickly drew them away. _What is this?_

_What am I thinking!? How could I even dare!? _I stared down at my hands in fear, feeling my knees shake. These hands had come so close to harming her. How had I lost control? I could have snapped her in half if given a few moments more. My mind fell apart and I quickly glanced back over.

She was staring at me with widened eyes I had hoped would never hold such terror again. Madeline was afraid... of me...

I shook my head back and forth, holding my arms in front of my face to block out her gaze. I couldn't form words as I cowered from her, producing a horrified groan.

My breath hitched in my throat and my gaze flicked back over to Alfred. He was frantically trying to get his gun and aim, while Gilbert just watched on in horror.

I let out a terrified sound. I had to get away, I fear that I've already over-stayed my welcome in their presence. She's with her brother now, and that's all that should matter! _Let go of your greed!_

Alfred spat out curses as I threw myself into a run, pulling himself to his feet. "You aren't going to get away from me this time!" He screeched.

My feet carried me through the snow as fast as a soaring bird. I took in huge gulps of air, feeling my eyes burn hot with tears.

I had fought with it for years, constantly telling myself that the monster I used to be was all behind me, that I could actually be normal for once... It was all wrong, none of my actions could have been forgiven. I had kept her to myself and tried to kill her only loving brother, what was wrong with me!?

I heard the explosive fire of a gun and splinters shot out from a passing tree. A gasp escaped my throat and I pushed myself harder. I didn't know where I could go, where I could hide. I can't do this anymore. I cant keep hiding from myself. I have to escape!

* * *

><p>I stared at the space where Ivan had disappeared, my heart still racing with adrenaline. Kumajirou licked my arm in an effort to comfort me, but my body had filled with a deep suffocating cold. Alfred slowly approached me, rubbing the melting snow from his face with his arm. He threw his gun down into the snow and swore under his breath.<p>

"That creature had better hope to survive a night longer." He growled.

His companion, 'Gilbert' shook himself. The white-haired man's blood-red eyes were wide with shock as he clutched to the torn remainder of Ivan's scarf.

The knot in my throat sat, painfully restraining my speech. Alfred set a comforting hand on my shoulder, which caused me to jump. He lifted it as if having hurt me.

"Are you alright?" He asked, sounding extremely concerned. His eyes met mine and I could see the fleeting fear in them. "It... didn't... touch you, did it?"

I looked down at my lap and began to weep. _How could everything go so wrong so quickly?_ I thought hopelessly. In a single morning everything had become a terrible mess.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. Alfred pet my hair and rubbed my back comfortingly. "It's alright now, Madeline. Everything is going to be okay. The monster is gone and I'm never going to allow it to lay a finger on you ever again."

I shakily sobbed into his chest. "I-I-I thought you were dead..."

He shushed me, shaking us back and forth therapeutically. "And I, you. It's all over now." He assured.

Gilbert stood beside us, setting his gun down on the sled. He snorted. "Hell, it's far from that. That creature it still walking." His voice had a peculiar accent... perhaps german.

I lifted my head to look at him. Alfred scowled. "You're no help, Gilbert. You can't see that she's scared out of her skin!?"

The albino rolled his eyes. "There's no use filling her head with a false sense of safety. We're lucky to have survived this encounter."

I watched the forest again, and hugged Alfred tightly.

_They don't understand... now he's out there alone and afraid... He could do something he may regret!_

The image of Ivan's enraged face was burned into my vision. He had come so close to harming me... but he didn't...

Memories of the past week came to me. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, he's already shown me this... He must have been too afraid to see what he was doing until it was too late. I bit my lip and felt my eyes burn again. Alfred is definitely going to kill him now.

Alfred slipped his hand lower on my back and stood up. "Come on, Maddie. Let's get you back to the cabin.

I closed my eyes. "Alfred."

"What's wrong?" His face was suddenly serious.

"... I think I'd feel a lot better if we hunted down the monster now." I opened my eyes again and faced him with my head held high.

Alfred's eyebrows raised for a moment before he shook his head. "Eh, er... No. No. We have to get you back to the cabin, it's not safe."

"She's got a point Al." Gilbert added and I glanced over. There was a sharp grin on his face and he seemed pretty pleased with my suggestion. "Besides, you promised me some fun."

I giggled at the absurd thought that came to mind. "Some fun? What exactly are you planning, sir?"

His snow-white skin reddened with embarrassment and he furrowed his eyebrows. "That's no talk for a lady!"

Alfred interrupted the conversation by placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head back to him and became serious again. "Madeline, I can't possibly take you out here again. I... I almost lost you once..."

I swallowed my courage and shook my head. "I'd like to tag along. Please Al." When I saw that he still didn't look very convinced, I had to throw a little more into it. "I-If you don't mind, I'd like to take my own _payments_." The coldness of my voice surprised me.

Alfred's eyebrows shot up and it took him a moment, but he seemed to understand fully. He eventually nodded with a stiff neck. "Ah, ... well then you'll have to keep behind me. I don't want to have that thing hurting you again."

Gilbert came over, giving a hearty laugh. "You weren't lying when you said your sister was just like you. She seems just as ready to kill that thing as you are!" He clapped a hand on my back.

"Ooph!" I bit back a curse word, knowing that it was more lady-like and polite to do so. Alfred's cold gaze traveled over to his hunting companion and I felt a little trill of amusement. He cleared his throat abruptly.

_Yep, that's my brother._

Alfred gave me a pair of boots and we set off on Ivan's trail. But I soon felt my stomach churn with nerves. Alfred wont be very happy with what I'm planning...

* * *

><p>His trail led us far into the afternoon, and Alfred had become beyond furious. "You see this!? This is what that fucker did to me the last time I was tracking it. That thing must have fucking wings!" He cussed.<p>

I winced at his tone. "We'll find him, Al. It's only a matter of time."

Gilbert had taken to walking beside me, and I could feel his eyes on me. I cleared my throat and tried to ignore it. Hopefully Alfred would notice and bust him one.

"So," I began, rolling my eyes. "What nuthouse did you pull this one from?" I watched the back of Alfred's head.

He chuckled. "He may act crazy sometimes Madeline, but I can assure you, he's not from the loony-bin. He's actually an old hunting buddy I met on our trip to Germany."

I frowned. "Oh." That wasn't nearly as interesting as I'd hoped.

Gilbert laughed, nudging my shoulder. "Your brother's lucky that I was in the area. He told me about you two hunting the big game in Russia a few months ago, and I just _had_ to come."

"Oh? And why is that, Alfred?" I was curious now.

Alfred stopped momentarily, glancing behind his back. "Ah... it was nothing, really."

Gilbert grabbed my arm and edged his head closer so Alfred could not hear. "The dumb bastard almost got himself killed by a grizzly! If it wasn't for me and all of my amazing skill, he would be a rug in _its_ den."

I rolled my eyes as he began to laugh again. "Are you done gloating back there?" Alfred called and Gilbert snickered.

"If you call saving your ass gloating!"

Alfred shook his head. "Get your nose away from my sister and keep a look out for that creature. I'm not even sure if it can climb trees or not."

"Pssh." Gilbert glanced away, moving farther from me.

A few moments later, Alfred tagged along beside me. My feet felt a little heavier as I glanced up to him.

"Hey, I'm sorry about him." He murmured, rubbing our shoulders together.

I sighed and shook my head. "No, it's fine, Al."

He swallowed and watched me as we strode along, side by side. "I missed you." His voice was hopeful, probably in interest for my response.

"I missed you too." My voice was small as I responded. He was clearly trying to comfort me, but I would have none of it until we found Ivan again.

"Now that... monster, it didn't harm you, right?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

Alfred slowly drew his arm over my shoulder, and pulled me to his side. "I love you sis, that's why I worry so much. If something were to happen to you, I would probably go insane."

I closed my eyes for a moment and frowned. "Alfred?"

"What is it?" Al asked in a hushed voice.

"You don't think that what Arthur told us we're lies, do you?" I glanced back up to him with wide wondering eyes. I searched his face for an answer.

Alfred's face distorted with disgust. "I wouldn't put it past him, but what he described as a monster is still very true." He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder tenderly. "But you don't have to worry anymore, Maddie. We'll have that thing brought down, and we'll return to England before six months are over, I promise. You'll never have to see Siberia ever again."

I downcast my eyes with a little sigh. "Why do we have to get involved? Is it really worth the money?"

Alfred rubbed my arm. "I thought hunting it down was hard too, Madeline. But you can't allow its words to get into your head. What you saw here today is not human, it may have once lived like you and me, but after something dies... it's mind can't be brought back." He hugged me protectively. "We're doing it a favor by ending its suffering."

I felt a tight knot in my throat again and bit my lip. "Al...right."

He kissed my forehead and gave me another little hug before striding off to walk beside Gilbert, leaving me and my thoughts alone again.

I sighed heavily, glad for the breathing room. My eyes traveled ahead of Alfred, where Kumajirou was treading along Ivan's trail with his nose in the snow. I frowned and looked down at my feet. There were four separate footprints along side my own. One could easily decipher which footprints belonged to whom. Ivan's feet were much larger than any of ours and dug much deeper into the snow. I couldn't help but wonder what must be going through his head right now...

He was definitely afraid, but of Alfred or himself, I couldn't imagine; it could easily be both. He was definitely lost, his tracks painted that picture very clearly. Ivan's footprints led between trees in an incomprehensible zigzag. I felt guilty for what had happened, as if the whole encounter was my own doing. Alfred wasn't supposed to find us like that, and to be as cruel as he had, wasn't right. If I hadn't left, then he wouldn't be so eager to break Ivan...

Then again, if I hadn't left, then Ivan would have been killed no matter what. Then we would have never met...

I felt a sudden pang of anguish stab my chest. If we hadn't met, then I wouldn't have known the extent of his humanity... and would have never become friends. No, I didn't even want to imagine it. I shook my head to clear it and glanced up ahead again. To my surprise, both Alfred and Gilbert had made a much better pace than me.

"Madeline! Come look!" Alfred called, glancing up from what they were huddled around. I felt my chest constrict with worry and I quickened my own pace.

_Oh god please don't be a body... Please, please, please._

As I neared, the acrid odor of blood grew, and so did my worries. Alfred moved over for me to look, pointing a finger down at the ground. "Look, it seems as though one of my shots did make its mark." I gasped and held a hand over my mouth.

A few deep red blots spotted the ground, and continued along the leading path. There was a clear sign of stumbling in the disturbed snow. I felt a knot grow in the back of my throat.

"Yeah right, you couldn't even hit the blindside of a barn! If anything it scraped itself running through those thorn bushes." Gilbert motioned to the patch of prickly plants.

I shook my head. "No... that's too much blood to be a thorn..." My gaze flicked up to the trees above. Some of the branches dipped low, anything could have hurt him if he was running fast enough. I looked onward, biting my lip. The situation had gone from very bad, to critical. If he was bleeding now, we only had a limited amount of time.

Gilbert shrugged. "Whatever it was, it means that that creature doesn't have long before we reach it. This blood isn't very old."

Alfred agreed and the two of them began to walk on. Kumajirou however, stood beside me with his nose on the ground. He looked up to me with a whimper.

"I know Kuma, I'm worried about him too. But we just have to hope we find him first." I reached down and pet his head reassuringly.

Kumajirou's tail dragged behind him as he walked forward. I strode beside him, hugging my coat closer to my body. It didn't give off the most pleasant scent, but it still smelt of familiarity.

As we traveled, I began to notice that both Alfred and Gilbert would get lost in their own conversations and tend to ignore the path ahead. The only thing keeping them in the right direction was Kumajirou. I glanced over to them as they bickered about hunting and petty man stuff, and I quickened my pace. They seemed all too absorbed with their talking to notice me slip past them.

_Good._

I caught up to Kumajirou and smiled weakly. "Hey, boy. How's it going?"

Kumajirou slowed down and glanced up to me. His nose was topped with a little cap of snow from keeping it to the ground the whole time.

I frowned. "You poor baby, you must be starving, and your nose has got to be numb by now."

He whimpered and looked back to the ground. "I know, we must find Ivan first." I glanced over my shoulder. "Hey boy, could you maybe go a little farther ahead? Perhaps let me know if you see anything? Ivan can't be too far off now."

Kumajirou looked up to me in confusion. I pointed forward. "Go find Ivan!"

He opened his mouth and his long pink tongue lolled out. I smiled at that. "That's the spirit! Go! Go get Ivan!" Kumajirou barked and ran ahead.

I quickly glanced behind myself at the two men. Alfred looked over his shoulder and then whirled back around. He looked relieved when he saw me walking ahead. I smiled and gave him a thumbs-up to show that I was still okay. He shrugged and continued to jabber jaw with Gilbert. The albino shoved him to the side with a laugh and I could hear my brother shout "Hey!"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Men."

Then I focused my attention back ahead and kept a lookout for any signs of life. The amount of blood on the ground was beginning to concern me. I hoped that Ivan was holding out okay.

A very long time passed before Kumajirou came back, but when he had, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The heavy white dog came charging back through the snow, his fur flopping up and down along with his tongue. He seemed happy, that was a good sign. I stopped walking and opened my arms for him.

"Did you find him?" He cuddled up to me, licking my face furiously. "Did you find Ivan?" I felt my hopes rising.

Kumajirou panted happily, letting out a bark. He brushed away, taking a few paces ahead, then sitting down on his rump.

I glanced behind my back again at Alfred and Gilbert, then swallowed the lump in my throat and ran forward. Kumajirou looked back and hopped to his paws. He ran ahead, wagging his tail back and forth joyfully.

I brushed the tree branches from my face as my feet carried me swiftly through the snow. As we hurried out of earshot of the two men, Kumajirou barked in excitement. I breathed heavily with my eyes trained ahead. We swerved through the trees in a blur, and I heard the birds overhead crow and beat their wings, disturbed by our passing.

_Please be alright Ivan... _I felt my regret begin to spill over. _I don't want you to be hurt..._

The snow the stretched far ahead was relatively untouched, rolling into small hills and trickling down from the treetops high above. It felt like I was charging through a dream, set in a surreal situation. My toes were freezing deep in the rubber boots Alfred had given me, and my cheeks stung with the cold winter air. Everything felt so cold and unforgiving, trying to force me into a depressed state of mind. A hopeless forest of paranoia opened up before me.

Just as I felt my limbs begin to scream in protest, Kumajirou came to an abrupt stop, and his ears shot up. We were on a low hill overlooking a small clearing with thinning trees and grey skies. I dug my boots into the thick white snow and came to stop beside him. "Ivan?" I called breathlessly. "Ivan?!"

Kuma whimpered, pointing his nose down at the little dip below us. I glanced down and fell to my knees.

A large body lie in the snow, much larger than any man. The breath hitched in the back of my throat and I covered my mouth. I hurried over to his side, almost tripping over my feet.

Ivan was breathing heavily, with his one arm drawn close to his side. Blood stained his shirt, and the snow around us. His eyes were but slivers with his attention on the ground. I saw the movement beneath his eyelids as he glanced over to me. "Get... get away from me." He rumbled.

I shook my head firmly while tears pricked my eyes and a ball formed in my throat. "No."

Ivan flashed his teeth angrily. "I said get away!" He swiped his other arm at me threateningly.

I didn't even flinch. "You're hurt."

He growled and cowered away from me. "Do not touch me."

I reached over to take away his hand, but he balled up his other fist in front of it. Kumajirou came over to us, whimpering. "Let me help." I insisted.

Ivan shook his head. "I cannot be trusted in your presence. Now go away before I do something I may regret!"

Angered shouts echoed from the trees above and I bit my lip. They must have noticed my absence sooner than I expected. "Ivan stop, you didn't mean it. Now let me help you!" I begged.

He winced as he tried to curl away even more. "Let them find me, you'll be safe."

I balled up my fists at my sides, feeling my blood begin to boil. "None of you men ever listen to me! If I knew I wasn't safe I would have done something about it! I'm not just this little girl who needs to be protected anymore! I am a young woman capable of taking care of myself and my business! And I would like to be treated as such! If I knew you were this horrible monster, I would not have risked yours and my own safety to come all of this way to help you!"

He was breathing heavily when he whined. "I almost hurt you, given more time I would have killed you!"

"Everyone makes mistakes Ivan, it's only human. No one is perfect!" I heard the approaching sound of crunching snow underfoot. "God damn it, and now my brother is going to come marching all this way on his high-horse to make sure you suffer!" I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes tight. "Please let me help you up before they get here!" I leaned over to pull his arm.

"Madeline! What the hell are you doing!? Get away from there!" Alfred shrieked from behind my back and I froze instantly.

"She found it!" Gilbert gasped in amazement. "She actually found it!"

I stood up and whipped around. Both men had their guns drawn, pointing them down at the ground instead of at me. I glowered at them and spread my arms out wide. "You are _NOT_ going to hurt him! Even if I have to prove his innocence to you myself!"

"Ma-" Ivan tried to say something, but I quickly cut him off.

"I've had enough of this crap! We've traveled all the way up to this shitty wasteland in search of some horrifying beast to rid the world of its danger and we've suffered because of it! Your greed got us into this Alfred! Is it really worth it? Is it worth keeping me locked up in that cabin all alone and miserable, all the while you set out to find that terrible monster? I've fallen into a lake and frozen half to death for the past few days in the hopes of seeing you again. And this is how you greet me!? More pain and suffering? When will it end, Al?" I paused to take a breath. "When will you realize that you've been lied to?"

Alfred's face had become ashen, as well as Gilbert's. They both stared on in shock, not only at my tone, but also at the words. "Maddie... this... this can't be-"

I moved to the side so that they could view Ivan. "Is this what you call a monster with boundless rage and strength? This poor wretch has been trying to take care of me and bring me back home safely, and look where that's gotten him!" I briefly glanced over to him, and he too looked shocked. It wasn't often that I had a voice, but when I did, I made sure it was heard.

Alfred opened his mouth again, but I shook my head and turned away. "There is no monster, Alfred. Only a madman who was able to convince you of such things."

"Maddie, that thing you're defending isn't a wounded animal, it's a dangerous creature!" He shouted in protest.

I knelt down beside Ivan and forcefully removed his arm from his side. He hissed in pain and his body lurched forward. It was hard to make out the problem through all of the gore and blood, but it seemed that he had torn some of the stitches along the side of his abdomen. I pushed his shirt up to calculate how long the injury stretched. Luckily, the tearing had stopped right above his navel, leaving the rest of the sutures intact. I sighed to myself. "Oh, Ivan... look what you've done to yourself."

He groaned. "I'm falling apart..."

I shook my head and applied some pressure. "No, you're fine, it's just a few stitches, nothing we can't fix."

Ivan shook his head. "No, no. I had a dream like this, I'm going to fall apart!" He shrieked in panic.

I hushed him with a finger to my lips. "Stop that, you are not falling apart." The sound of crunching snow drew closer to us. Someone was approaching.

I gritted my teeth and glanced over my shoulder. "Stay back!" I snapped.

Gilbert held out his hands in a defensive manner. My eyes traveled to the side and I noticed his gun sitting in the snow a few feet away. He wasn't armed as far as I knew. "I have some first-aid in my hunting bag, I just want to help out as much as I can. If what you say is true, Madeline, then I am willing to aid you." He seemed to be sympathizing with me, but I was still untrustworthy.

I glanced past him at my brother. Alfred stood with his arms crossed and frigid scowl. He wasn't happy, but he would just have to sulk alone. I turned my attention back onto Gilbert and nodded. "Good, where is your bag?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away. "Well... I kind of left it... back at the cabin."

I narrowed my eyes. "That's irresponsible and irrelevant. Great. What can we do now!?"

He frowned. "Perhaps I can help with getting him back to the cabin?"

Alfred snorted loudly from behind him. "We are not bringing that thing indoors!"

I shot a dangerous glare his way, effectively shutting him down. "Thank you, that would be a great help." I turned around to face Ivan. "You're coming with us. Can you stand?"

Ivan was shaking a bit, but nodded his head. "Da, I... I think so." He slowly tried to pull himself up, hissing in pain in the process. I pressed my hands against his wound in an effort to keep it closed as he tried to gain his footing. Gilbert stepped over and took Ivan's arm and slung it over his shoulders. He was much shorter than Ivan, but he still tried his best.

I wiped the blood from my hands onto Ivan's coat, shaking my head. _He probably wont mind anyway._ I heard the two of them grunt with effort, sticking one foot in front of the other. "Jesus Christ, Al! Your sister makes the most unlikely of friends wherever she goes, doesn't she?" Gilbert groaned.

Alfred gave the three of us a sour look and picked up Gilbert's rifle without a word. I didn't quite like the tension between us. Kumajirou jumped around our legs, wagging his tail and barking in satisfaction. I smiled weakly, following close behind. Alfred took the lead, keeping to himself. I still felt horrible for making him upset, but he would hopefully get over it with time. He doesn't usually respond to being wrong very nicely, especially when it has to do with money and revenge.

"Madeline?" I heard a hoarse voice call from in front.

I skipped forward and turned to the two men walking side by side. "Yes? Are you alright?"

Ivan looked down at me with half-closed eyes. "Thank you." He murmured.

I smiled shyly, feeling my face burn up. "Of course, Ivan."

He sighed heavily, a small smile spreading across his cold, chapped lips. "Sometimes I wonder if your kindness knows any bounds."

I laughed lightheartedly. "Even I am unsure of that."

Ivan glanced up towards the sky and he spoke in a low voice. "It's beginning to snow..."

I looked up as well and frowned. "Ah, so it is..." A shower of snowflakes began to trickle down, landing on our clothes and hair.

Ivan glanced back ahead and frowned. "It's going to storm..." He murmured.

I reached out to rest my hand on his arm reassuringly. "We'll get to the cabin soon enough." I couldn't help but feel his muscle tremor beneath my touch.


	15. Uneasy Peace

Ivan groaned as we continued along our way home, dragging both him and Gilbert behind. I bit my lip and slowed my own pace to keep a watchful eye on them. Ivan's footfalls became heavy and his back slouched; from my point of view he looked to be almost Gilbert's height, aside from the few inches he still had on him. The snow was dappled with his blood as we journeyed forward.

Kumajirou walked along Alfred in the front, where he seemed to be sniffing my brother in interest. Alfred, however, wasn't very down to earth at the moment, as he strode along with his eyes either down on his map or staring aimlessly ahead. The silence hanging over the lot of us was making me go insane.

I hugged my arms together and increased my stride to stand beside Gilbert and Ivan. My eyes flicked over to them in concern. "How are you two holding up?

Gilbert grunted and his ruby-red eyes flashed in my direction. "How heavy is this friend of yours' arm? It has to be at least thirty pounds! My neck is killing me!" He exclaimed.

I sighed and glanced over to Ivan, who hadn't responded to my question with his usual vigor as I'd hoped. "How about you? Are you alright?"

"Yea, sure, like my pain doesn't matter." Gilbert huffed.

"That's very unfortunate for you, Gilbert, I hope you know how much of a favor you're doing for me. I appreciate everything you're doing for us."

"Damn right." He breathed ruggedly. "I'm fucking awesome."

"Madeline... I am doing... okay." Ivan's voice rumbled slowly, breaking off Gilbert's last comment. I glanced up to his face with a frown. His eyes were drooping with fatigue and his lips had faded to a cool blueish purple. After a moment, I noticed his gaze was on me, and he frowned. "Please do not worry... I'm alright." He lifted his hand from his side and placed it heavily on my head. I glanced down at my skirts to avoid his face. His fingers drummed my head in an odd way of showing reassurance, and my spirits lifted a bit when I heard him breathe out a short laugh. "You're so tiny." He chimed.

My face flushed with embarrassment and I glanced back up to him. "That's not true! You're just very big!"

He breathed out another laugh, the air bellowing from his nose coming out in a white cloud. "Perhaps a little." I felt the weight of his hand leave my head as he returned it back at his side. "Your brother, he is not very happy, is he?"

I sighed and shook my head. "No, he's just... a bit upset. He'll get over it with time. He was just worried about me."

Ivan nodded. "I can understand. If you were my sister, and you had gone missing. I would be angry too."

I laughed at the metaphorical situation that he had created. "That's very kind of you."

He hummed under his breath before we were all enveloped in silence once again. I took my gaze away from his face and flicked it down to his body. A little trill of worry sprung in my chest when I saw the huge sanguine stain centered around his side, which dripped all the way down to the midway point of his thigh. I bit down on my lip and averted my eyes. Everything would be fine; I would fix the wound in no time and he would be alright. I reassured myself. We just need a few more hours... hours I hope that he could hold out for.

"Madeline?" I heard my name once again ringing in my ears. It took me a moment to register the voice of my brother. My eyes focused back on the path ahead and I hurried up to Alfred.

"What's wrong, brother?"

Alfred stuffed his map into his pocket and turned to me as we walked. His eyes were like hard-cut jewels, narrowing in the cold draft blowing past. His lips drew low into a frown and his eyebrows slanted with guilt. I could sense that he was about to mention the mishap a few hours past and prepared myself for more meaningless garbage. "I... I was just worried about you, is all, Maddie. You _are_ okay, right?" He asked.

I nodded, ignoring the bitter sting in my gut. "Of course, Al."

He leaned over and wrapped his arm over my shoulders, pulling me tightly to himself. I returned the hug as he rubbed my shoulder with his thumb. "You're my only sister... You know, ever since mom and dad died, that they left me to take care of you and I would never brake my promise. Even if I die in the process, your safety is all I care about."

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the scent of home. There was a pause before I sighed out, staring down at the ground. "I know."

Alfred leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on the top of my head. "You remind me so much of mum." He laughed a little, but it was painfully aware to me that he was hurting.

I closed my eyes as we swayed forward, trying to recall her beautiful form. It was still difficult to hold onto that memory when it could so easily slip from my fingers like water in the palm of my hand. My parents were but broken glass in the twisted window of my memories, reflecting only what I see now. Alfred was right as far as I could remember, but he neglected to realize that he was himself just like our father. Although my opinions aren't nearly as accurate as his own, he was born three years before me; he knew them much better than I.

"Yea..." I choked out through a tight throat.

Alfred rubbed our shoulders together. "We'll find a way out of this mess soon enough, Maddie. Soon enough..." His voice carried off as he had seemingly drifted back into thought. I felt the crawling need to walk off now, but I knew that Alfred needed me more than ever. He may not agree with me, but he was still my own flesh and blood.

"I love you, Al." I murmured.

His hand began to drag over my shoulder again. "I love you too, Maddie. I really, truly do." He responded, his voice rolling like smooth stones in a brook.

I turned my head to the side to view the two men behind us. Gilbert was staring off to the side, muttering about how 'awesome' he was or something to that effect, while Ivan was staring down at the ground. I frowned and turned my attention back to the forest ahead.

"So Madeline," Alfred suddenly inquired, breaking away my concerned haze. "Because we now have _it_ in our possession... I'm sure it would be a good time to explain what has been going on for the past week. There's clearly a misconnection between this creature and you defending it."

I let out a short breath that ended in a sour growl. "Al, would you give it up. Ivan poses better as an ally than anything."

Alfred scoffed. "'Ivan?' You've given it a name?"

I gritted my teeth and gave him a sour look.

Alfred furrowed his eyebrows. "Why won't you just let me kill it already?" He made the slightest gesture with his head towards the back. "You know it's suffering now."

I shut my eyes tight and clenched my fists. "He is not a wounded animal, Alfred, and you thinking that way is undermining what you said earlier. You know as well as I do that I have medical experience, a few torn stitches are nothing."

Alfred glared down at me. "I severely doubt that Yao taught you any of this, and he's the only instructor we could find that would agree to teach a woman."

I felt my skin burn hot with outrage. "He did so! I know much more about medical science than the likes of you! Tell me, Alfred, how do you treat a laceration with only an onion plant and a match?"

He growled under his breath and glanced away. "Well if we don't get somewhere soon, then that thing is going to bleed out and we'll all freeze out here along with it!"

"You are going to get us home soon, or I'll make sure you'll be the one sleeping out in the snow tonight!"

"Will you two shut up already?!" Gilbert shouted from behind, interrupting our quarreling.

The both of us flicked our heads back, the same expression present on either of our faces.

Gilbert rubbed his temples with his free hand. "I can't think straight with the two of you arguing over who should do what and know-how. Now please, tone it down so that I may resume my daydreaming in peace!"

Alfred slowed his pace almost to a stop. "And what the hell are you daydreaming about?"

Gilbert scowled. "Food! I'm starving! When the hell are we going to return back to the cabin?"

"I thought you brought some of that German sausage with you." Alfred left my side to join him.

"Again, I left it back at the cabin." Gilbert replied with a roll of his eyes.

I felt like I could finally breathe again when the two men began to converse by themselves once more, leaving me to my peace. My eyes traveled briefly over to Ivan once again and I gave a meek smile of apology.

Ivan looked to be either very annoyed with the two men's bickering, or just very, very, tired; I hoped it wasn't the later of the two. Kumajirou returned to my side as he always did, as happy as can be. I reached down and pet his head, slowing my own pace to stand fairly close to everyone.

* * *

><p>"No, no, no! That thing is not coming inside!" Alfred stood with his arms outstretched before the front door to our cabin, shaking his head back and forth.<p>

I sighed dramatically, turning my attention up to the sky. The sun was setting now, hanging just above the trees and conveying an amazing array of pinks and purples. I turned back to him.

"Al, don't do this."

"Come on, I walked all the way here carrying this great aloof on my shoulder, and now you won't even let me put it down?!"

Ivan was completely silent as he still hung over the much shorter albino, his bangs hiding his eyes. I could easily tell that now he was beyond fatigued; it's a surprise he made it all the way back home without so much as a single rest. Although that certainly wasn't a good thing.

"I don't want some _corpse-thing_ in my house! And besides, it'll get bloodstains on my new carpet!" Alfred argued.

"Then where the hell do you want it?" Gilbert snapped.

I heard Ivan mumble something, but no one seemed to hear.

"Take it to the shed out back, it'll be big enough for it to fit."

I stared at him wide-eyed and furious. "Y-you can't be serious?!"

"It's either there or out here, you decide Madeline." Alfred crossed his arms to further his point.

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration and pouted. "You're so heartless, Al." I turned to the side to go around the side of the cabin. "Come on Gil, lead him this way."

They followed close behind as I stomped around our tiny cabin, my fists clenched in frustration. I loved my brother dearly, but sometimes he could be so arrogant. Once we were within sight of the pitiful little shed, I turned for the two men to catch up. They both looked equally ready to pass out, their legs almost dragging through the snow. Ivan looked to be especially sleepy, as his eyes were half closed with the rings normally circling them darker than usual.

I strode over to them and offered some help by ducking below Ivan's other arm. "Here I'll help, Gilbert, go get the door open."

Gilbert shot me an expression of disbelief. "Oh, no, no, no. You're just a lady, I'll take care of the heavy lifting."

I narrowed my eyes and scrunched up my nose. "Go. Open. The. Door." I repeated commandingly.

He gave me an aggravated huff. "Fine, I'm not one to argue, but don't blame me when your spine is crushed." The german slowly lowered himself and Ivan was forced to lean onto me for support, uttering a low groan.

"Oh my." I whispered, feeling his weight begin to pound on. My eyes widened a little as my legs wobbled and I grunted with effort.

"S...sorry." Ivan murmured, trying his best to hold his own.

"No, n-no, I'm fine." I assured, hiding my actual feelings. Gilbert wasn't kidding when he said Ivan was heavy, but I wasn't just going to admit I was wrong; Alfred and I were alike in that sense. Gilbert took his sweet time walking forward to open the door, stopping half way to stretch in a mocking manner. I narrowed my eyes as he made a long drawn out sigh. "Come on then! Just open the god damn door!"

He glanced back towards me with a cocky grin. "Oh? Oh yea! I almost forgot." The sudden urge to slap him across the face sprung up in my mind, but I kept it at bay for now. Gilbert turned the silver handle to the shed and pushed the door in. He turned to me and shuffled out of my way. "There you are, m'lady. Quite the set up you've got in there." He motioned inside, his smug face almost too much to resist the back of my hand.

I took one step forward and Ivan continued the stride. Ivan ducked his head as we entered the tiny little shed, almost falling inside of sheer exaustion. I caught him just a bit and grunted to keep him from falling forward. "Easy! Easy!" He exhaled with a thud as his backside made contact with the flooring. I couldn't see him in the darkness, but I could guess that his expression was much more relaxed than it had been only minutes before. The familiar bark of Kumajirou rang in my ears, only a few feet from the entrance to the shed. I glanced over, a small smile slowly spreading across my face.

The big dog came rushing inside, his fluffy white coat flopping over his shoulders. I giggled and scratched his back- or what I hoped was his back. It was so god damn dark in here.

"Need anything else while I'm here, princess?" Gilbert called from the doorway.

I gritted my teeth in resentment. "A lantern would be nice, and maybe a little less attitude, perhaps?"

He bowed. "Of course, and I'll see about some sewing supplies as well. Have fun in here with your little pet."

"I do hope you are referring to the dog, Gilbert." I snapped back.

Gilbert snickered. "You'll learn to love me."

"We'll see." I watched him turn around to leave and focused back on the dark space below me. "Are you alright?" I asked gently.

Ivan took a deep breath and sighed. "I am fine, are you okay? You seem troubled." His voice felt very strange in the darkness. I didn't want to say it, but it felt quite eerie.

"I'm just a bit ticked off, Alfred is as good as a thorn in my side. He just doesn't see as well as I do these days."

Ivan was quiet for a long time, although I could still hear him breathing. Just when I'd though he might have fallen asleep or passed out, he spoke again. "Is it because he still seeks revenge?" He inquired.

I shook my head. "Heavens no... He isn't... Well he can't... H-He's just a little upset because he's been worried about me. And as I already admitted, we came here to hunt down a monster. Alfred still cannot let that go."

"Wouldn't that make it better if you left me here?" Ivan asked, his voice crackling mid-sentence.

My throat tightened up. "No! That isn't even an option to consider! You clearly aren't a monster I once thought you to be."

"Madeline. You can't allow yourself to become blind to what I am. I understand that you think I'm friendly, but even I am unsure of when or what I might do. It's safer to just leave me here for now."

I reached down in the darkness, awkwardly rummaging around until I felt the bony ridges of his knuckles. "Friends don't just give up on each other. You've a lot to learn about what it's like, and I believe that some day Alfred will have to realize this."

Ivan lifted his index finger to run it soothingly over my hand. "Madeline, I cannot stay here with you two."

I felt my stomach twist. "W-why?" I choked.

"You and your brother must leave Siberia, you must live out your lives without trouble. What you've gotten yourself into, it isn't your fight." I heard him produce a low moan, his hand leaving mine to rest over his injury. "It is between me and my creator."

"It doesn't have to be!" I insisted, balling up my fists on my lap.

"I know the anguish of losing a friend, Madeline, and I feel terrible to inflict such pain onto you, but it is for your own good. You said it yourself, you were dragged up here by your brother and up until the present you've been suffering."

"That doesn't mean-"

"Please go back to England, I don't want you in the middle of this mess any longer than you have been. I fear that you may have already been here for too long. The locals already know that something is amiss here, if they find out that you and your brother are harboring a monster than they will just come to kill you too."

I felt my eyes grow hot, but I wasn't ready to cry; not again. "Ivan, I will not allow any of this nonsense. Alfred and I will figure something out, we always do."

"But that is you and your brother, I have no place in this." Ivan let out an uneven breath. "I was not created to tread among your kind."

"Stop talking like that! You're delirious. When Gilbert comes back with a lantern and his medical supplies I'm going to sew you back up and everything is going to be fine again. Please, let me just do this for you."

Ivan groaned, his body fidgeting uncomfortably in the darkness. "Made-"

"It would make me happy."

He sighed heavily and reluctantly agreed. "As you wish."

The entrance to the shed creaked open, and a sliver of light poured inside. I turned my head to view the approaching man. "Did you find everything?"

Gilbert stopped just inside the door, a shoulder bag hung over the inside of his arm, and a lantern held in his other hand. "Your brother said that you have medical supplies in here, so I grabbed this too." He avoided my gaze, his face contorted in an agitated expression. By the looks of him, I could only guess that my brother had said something to say to him about his attitude. This made me pleased.

"Yes, I've got some in there, thank you very much Gilbert." I extended my hand out to retrieve the bag from him. He rolled his eyes and handed it over.

"Yea, yea." Gilbert set down the lantern and turned to leave. "Your brother wants you back in the house by the time dinner is ready."

I lifted a curious brow and frowned. "And when might that be?"

He shrugged. "Probably by the time the sun finally sets, so... good luck?" Gilbert peeked over his shoulder, a smirk making its way onto his face. "Have fun."

I tisked and he began to laugh. "You are seriously drunk, aren't you."

"As drunk as you'll never be." And with that, he left, shutting the shed door behind him.

I huffed and shook my head. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I blew it off as something stupid and meaningless, and payed attention to more pressing matters.

The light from the lantern illuminated almost the whole of the shed, casting many dancing shadows all along the walls. There were all kinds of gardening tools and shelves along the right and back wall, as well as a boarded up window. I couldn't even remember the last time I had come in here. It must have been one of our first days of being here in Siberia when both Alfred and I chose to explore the area a bit more. This place was atrocious.

I picked up the lantern and set it at my side to better view my bag. It felt lighter than I remembered, which made me feel quite suspicious. I narrowed my eyes and flipped it open. "That German bastard better not have gone though my belongings, or I'll make sure Alfred will have another head to mount on his wall."

I heard a weak laugh from below and glanced over. Ivan held one arm over his abdomen as he chuckled, a little smile lighting his face.

A blush crawled onto my face and I laughed along with him. "You think that's funny? Did I ever tell you about the time when Alfred found some bloke hitting on me in a hunting lodge and he branded them like cattle?"

Ivan erupted into a fit of laughter, his body shaking along with him. "He branded him? Is that when you use a metal rod to make symbols on animals?"

I snickered. "Well, let me just tell you, that man's behind is still marked to this day. Even now, I can vividly remember him yelping like a dog. No one even glanced my way for months after."

I glanced away from Ivan, who continued to laugh for a few more minutes and dug through my bag. Fortunately, nothing seemed out of place. Even my diary was left untouched. I found my sewing supplies at the bottom and fished my hand in for it. "Aha, there it is." I cheered victoriously when I pulled my thread and a pack of needles out.

Ivan glanced over, finally calming down. "Why so many needles?" He asked.

I set down my spool of thread and opened my package of needles. "They're for an array of fabrics. The thicker ones are for wool and animal hides, while the thinner ones are for silk or linen. I think I'm going to pick one from somewhere in the middle." I ran my finger over each one until I found the perfect size. "It even has a curve to it, so it'll be easier to sew your wound without getting it stuck."

He nodded his head and sighed heavily. "Good."

I smiled meekly and carefully threaded the needle. I'd also picked one of my thicker threads, as I wasn't equipped with any surgical thread. I can just hope that it doesn't tear as easily as his last ones.

"Are you ready?" My eyes skimmed down his shirt towards the bloodied area.

"Mmhmm." He hummed in response.

I carefully rolled up the end of his shirt to view the tear. Almost his whole lower abdomen was covered in coagulated blood, centering mostly around the long line running the circumference of his hips. To my great displeasure, I realized that having been left untreated for so long, more stitches had torn along the wound. Now the wound stretched past his navel and all the way to his other side, almost opening up his stomach. I felt a spike of concern deep in my gut. This was bad, really, really bad.

"Madeline? What's wrong?" Ivan inquired in a low voice.

I shook my head, twirling the needle in between my forefinger and thumb. "N-nothing, I'm just a little... squeamish."

"You don't have to do this, Madeline. I've done it before." He offered.

"No, no, I can do it. Please just relax." I swallowed hard and bit my lip. This is going to be very difficult, but I have to do it for his sake.

I took a shaky breath and counted to three before leaning in to slip the needle into the first little notch where his stitches began to rip. He made no sound as I pulled it through and tightened it. Chills ran down my spine and I shuddered, God did I hate being so squeamish, even when I wasn't the one receiving the stitches. Again, I forced myself to make another suture. I tried to clear away some of the blood without disturbing the scabbing beneath the scar. I continued with another stitch, and then another, and another. I continued to sew it up, imagining myself sewing another dress rather than something living. It was the same thing really, only the stakes were much higher, and if I made a mistake then the consequences would be much more dire. No pressure at all.

By the time I had finished, I was shaking with nerves. I reached into my bag and pulled out a pair of scissors to cut off the thread. A feeling of regret sat in the pit of my stomach as I glanced down at my hand. A huge smudge of blood had wiped away onto my bag, allowing a patch of my pale-white skin to be seen beneath the crimson veil. Now my bag was soiled too... oh well...

Ivan's silence was a little concerning during the whole process. I turned my attention back up to his face. "Ivan? Are you alright?" I asked.

Kumajirou had rested himself by Ivan's head, his tail resting over his face. Ivan's eyes were closed, and he had rested his head to the side to snooze. The only thing keeping me from freaking out, was the steady rise and fall of his chest, which held many calming qualities. He must have fallen asleep while I was working. I couldn't even imagine falling asleep while such a procedure was taking place, but I guessed that it was for the best; it _was_ a lot to sew up.

I sighed unevenly and put away my supplies. "I've got to go, Kumabear, will you take care of Ivan until I come back? It would be a great help."

The dog's ears lifted and he opened one eye to stare at me. I gave him a little smile and pet his head. "Thank you. I'll only be a couple of hours, and I'll be back later tonight to check on you two and give you something to eat."

At the mention of food, Kumajirou's tail began to sway back and forth and he nudged his nose further into his paws. I smiled and stood up. "Make sure no one gets in here."

I reached down to pick up my lantern and my bag before turning away. The two males resumed with their resting while I slipped out the door and hurried back inside the cabin. Luckily for me, the sun didn't seem to have set for very long.

"Where have you been, Maddie?" I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard Alfred's voice coming from inside. Without even having placed one foot in the door he was already suspicious. I guess I was kind of asking for this.

I stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind myself. "I-I've been out in the shed." My eyes raked over the whole cabin before landing on Alfred and Gilbert sitting at the dining table. My heart almost leapt from my chest. They looked to already be halfway done with their meal. How long had I been gone? He couldn't possibly have made dinner that fast.

"You've been out there for almost two hours, what have you been doing?" Alfred's icy blue eyes burned into my own. I didn't quite like how he was treating me.

"I was fixing the damage that _you_ caused, thank you very much!" I set my stuff down with a loud thud and blew out the lantern. "You never told me when to come back in, so I thought I'd do my job, and do it right. Is that alright with you?"

He sighed and pulled out the chair beside himself. "What ever, Maddie. There's no use arguing with you any more on this. Please just join us for dinner. I made your favorite."

A sudden surge of excitement bloomed in my chest. "You made pancakes!?"

His face faded a light pink and he rubbed his neck. "W-well... one of your favorites..."

My hopes fell and I strode over. I brushed my skirts beneath my bottom and sat down with my legs crossed. Alfred pushed my chair in a little so that I was closer to the table. I glanced between the two men, before allowing my eyes to sink down at the plate before me. "Thank you." I murmured.

Gilbert seemed to sense my mood, because he didn't seem to have anything snarky to say. "So how's the big fella'? Is he gonna make it?"

I nodded, picking up my fork to poke at my meal. Venison and potatoes just seemed so bland at the moment, even if I was starving.

"Let's get off the subject, Gil." Alfred stated calmly, the uneasiness of the matter lining his voice like drapes would a window. "How about you tell us something about Germany? I mean, you haven't been here for very long, and I'm sure Madeline would like to hear about something other than hunting for a change, right sis?"

I could sense both of their eyes on me, and I felt pressured to glance up. "Ah, uh... y-yea. Sure." I hoped neither of them could hear the disinterest in my voice.

Gilbert shot me a cool smile, unlike the usual devilish one he seemed to wear like a badge. It looked much more fitting on him. "Okay, I mean, I could tell you the whole history of Germany and Prussia if you'd like. My grandfather was in the military, and he told me everything there is to know about my heritage."

Alfred shook his head. "We don't need every little thing, we're not exactly here for a history lesson. How about you tell us about the scenery? Is it nice there?"

Gilbert glanced down at his own meal and prodded at it a bit. "Well, from what you've already seen, I'm sure you can infer that it has lovely meadows and such, but what I find the most interesting is the castles. Germany is practically full of them."

Alfred smiled and continued the conversation, offering the bit of knowledge he had on castles in England, while I just sat and listened. Sure there were castles in England, but I didn't like them at all. They were too large and damp, not to mention the draft that would blow through every now and then. It made me shudder just at the thought of our stay in the Kirkland estate for those short two weeks before our journey.

Arthur had, in his own gracious deeds, given us a place to stay while he poured out to my brother over our future. Judging by their own personal house, we would have never guessed that he had a whole castle in his possession. Then again, if you were born with everything handed to you and had a fat wallet at your disposal, anything was possible, right? So, while he and Alfred had stayed in their own region of the castle, I was left to my own devices. I chose to explore a little; I even discovered a huge library filled with all kinds of books and passages.

What I found in the library astounded me. There were history books for several countries, including both Germany and France to go along with England. Although, I also found an astonishing amount of biology and science texts that only the best of colleges could get their hands on. Of course, at the time I had already become a student under Yao's teachings, so this discovery was like finding hidden treasure from the past. Arthur hadn't told me what he wanted me and my brother for until the very end of our trip, which had been much too late. Alfred had his heart set on that job right from the beginning. Perhaps if he had known of what he was supposed to kill way before he was given a price, maybe we wouldn't be stuck here right now. It would always remain a mystery to me.

Along with my isolation from the two, I also had a chance to get closer to Arthur's wife, who I remember to be quite a lovely woman. Looking back now, I am still reminded of my own mother when I think of her. When Francine wanted to rest or have some private time, she would allow me to play with Peter, who was the most well-behaved little creature I had ever met. Peter was so quiet while I read to him, and the most energetic when we played little games with his toys. There seemed to always be a little smile on his face. I tried multiple times, but he couldn't seem to say my name. Although, of course it didn't really bother me, as he was clearly able to communicate with me otherwise. Francine would sometimes watch us interact, a smile tugging on her lips; something I noticed to be quite rare from her. When Peter was put to bed, she would talk to me, or tell me stories of her earlier life in France from when she was just a girl like me. She was very interested to hear that I was born from one french parent as well, and she insisted I learn some french. Francine had retrieved a book for me from the library that she kindly allowed me to have. She said that it was a English to French dictionary, and that I should someday visit Paris. Of course visiting Paris had been one of my most cherished dreams ever since I was just a child. For quite a while now, France has had a pull on me. I even asked Alfred if we could move their once he was done with his hunting trip. Although now, I don't remember him saying anything to that. I think he was more interested in moving to the states.

I glanced over to him briefly, and watched as he conversed with Gilbert. He was still talking about castles, but I had blanked out for the majority of the conversation.

"Hey, Madeline, aren't you going to eat?" Gilbert's voice broke into my thoughts and I quickly glanced over.

"O-oh.. huh?" Alfred stopped talking and turned to me as well. Again, both of their focus' were on me. My cheeks grew hot and I glanced down to my plate. The piece of meat I had been poking at was now mutilated and mashed into my potatoes, although it was still untouched. I looked back up to the two and swallowed. "A-ah... of course." I picked a small piece and nervously ate under their watch. My face was burning up in embarrassment. "Mmmmm" I gave a meek smile, emphasizing my false enjoyment.

Alfred frowned. "I-I'm sorry if you're not in the mood for venison. I could make you something else if you want."

"Yea, I can make you some German food if you'd like." Gilbert added.

I shook my head. "N-no, that's quite fine." If the heat in my cheeks could cause a spark, there would definitely be flames eating away at them right about now.

Alfred reached over to pat my back. "You don't have to force yourself."

"Th-thank you." I muttered, swallowing again.

Gilbert yawned loudly and stretched his arms. "Well, I'm getting quite tired. I think I'll retire for the night. Thank you, Al, for the meal. It was great." He pushed out his chair and gathered his plate. "Now that your sister is back, would you like me to sleep on the ground?"

Alfred stood up as well, shaking his head. "If you're alright with that. I can lay out some furs for you and you can have some of my pillows. I really wish this place had another bed, but I think it may become crowded if it did."

Gilbert nodded. "That would be great, thanks." He strode past the table and set his plate down on the counter where Alfred followed. Alfred disappeared into the other room to go retrieve our extra bedding and left the two of us alone in the main room. Gilbert then walked over to the fire and sat down in Alfred's chair.

I sat in silence, looking down at my food. All kinds of thoughts buzzed through my head. How was I going to revisit Ivan tonight without being caught? Surely Alfred would be ready for me to do such a thing. He could read me like a book. I sighed and leaned my head onto my arm. God, how did I ever find myself in such a difficult situation.

"I have an extra plate set out for you, Madeline." I heard Gilbert call from his place by the fire.

I blinked a few times, lifting my head. "I-I'm sorry?"

"I'll tell your brother that you went out to use the outhouse. That'll buy you some time. And if you need anything more for your dog, there's some extra venison in the icebox."

I thought I must be hearing things. Was Gilbert actually helping me? What was he trying to get at...? "Er.. I- Thank you... but- I... I don't-"

"Hurry, your brother'll be back any minute. Do you want to help that thing or not?" Gilbert turned around to stare at me with all seriousness.

I nodded quickly and hurried out of my seat. "Thank you!"

"Mmmhm." He turned back around to face the fire. "You're welcome."

I neglected my own plate and picked up the candle placed in the center of the table. I quickly made my way to the icebox beside the counter, although I still had my doubts. Just as promised, Gilbert had placed a plate of food right on top of it. I glanced over my shoulder at the chair where he sat and picked it up. Whatever scheme he might be up to didn't matter right now, I was just thankful for a chance to slip out. I opened the icebox and pulled out a piece of meat for Kumajirou as well, and hurried to the front door. I heard Alfred's footsteps nearing the main room again, and hastily slipped out into the frigid night air.

I tried to keep my candle sheltered from the wind while I hurried through the snow, keeping my breath steady and staying at a somewhat leisurely pace. The flame danced and shrunk in the wind, almost blowing out multiple times. I bit my lip and tried to keep my back to the wind. "Come on, come on. Just a few more paces, don't blow out on me now."

The moment I reached the shed, I hurried to open the door while the candle flickered and burned a weak blue. _Please don't go out, please don't go out._ I begged internally.

The door creaked open, and I peeked inside. I held out my candle in front of myself. "Ivan? Kumajirou?"

There was no answer as I stepped inside. The two of them came into view, the weak candlelight shading their figures against the wall. I felt a knot twist in my stomach as I neared them. Kumajirou lifted his head at the scent of food, and his tongue spilled out from his mouth. I smiled and offered him his dinner. "Good job, boy. Here's the dinner I promised you."

Kumajirou took the food from my hand and padded off to the side to eat in peace. I watched him go off to my peripheral vision and rest back down onto his belly, before returning my attention to Ivan. A frown crawled onto my face as I felt my concerns take life. "Ivan?" I whispered while slowly kneeling down beside him and placing the candle between the two of us. He lie on his side, with his arms bent out in front of himself, one having gravitated close to his face.

There was still no answer. I set down the plate of food and reached over to take his hand from the floor. His skin was cold, but there was still a tiny bit of warmth deep in the palm of his hand. I rested my fingers over the inside of his wrist just below the ring of sutures separating the two parts, and felt for his pulse. Relief flooded through my body when I felt his vein throb twice. I set down his hand and sighed lightly. _Thank god._

"Ivan? Are you hungry?" I whispered softly, prompting him to get up.

His silence was still unnerving, even knowing that he was still alive. I bit my lip and hesitantly nudged his shoulder. "Hey, Ivan. I've got you some dinner."

Ivan's eyes slowly opened and he furrowed his brows. "Hmm?" Ivan blinked few times to clear his bleary eyes.

I smiled. "I brought you food."

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, hissing momentarily in pain. In response, I shot my hand out to rest it against his abdomen. "Ooh! Be careful!"

Ivan winced, and held his palm against his forehead. "I've never had it hurt this much before." He groaned.

I glanced up to his face. "You almost tore yourself open, and I had to give you quite a lot of stitches. You should rest a little more, would you like to help you?"

Ivan shook his head and glanced down at himself. He pulled up his shirt to see the freshly-sewn injury. I bit my lip and hoped that his response would be positive. His eyes then flicked over to mine and he allowed his shirt to fall back down. "O-oh..." He held his arm across his abdomen. "This... Th-this has never happened before."

I watched him shiver a little, resting my hands on my lap. "Perhaps you're over exerting yourself?" Ivan stared down at the floor for a long moment his expression brewing like a storm. "Well it was bound to happen soon enough, stitches don't last forever anyway."

He visibly swallowed, his his head bobbling the slightest bit. "Yes... I guess you are right..."

I blushed a little in embarrassment. "Are they alright at least?"

Ivan blinked a few times to lose his thoughts, and nodded, a small smile coming to his face. "You did very well. Thank you very much."

I smiled back in relief. "You're welcome." He turned his attention onto the plate at our side. "Is that for me?" He asked.

I hummed. "Of course, you've been running on an empty stomach all day." I picked it up and offered it to him.

Ivan took the plate carefully in his hands, and placed it down on his lap. "You are very thoughtful, thank you so much." He reached down to pick at the venison, before stopping himself. I tilted my head as he looked up to me.

"What's wrong?"

He frowned. "Nothing is wrong, but I worry for you. Did you get to eat already?"

I smiled warmly. "Yes, I had my own supper earlier."

Ivan seemed to be relieved and began to eat. I tried not to seem bothered by his lacking table manners, and waited by his side for a moment. "I'm going to have to leave you again, Ivan. My brother will be worried about me if I'm not back soon."

He glanced up from his food and blinked in acceptance. I knew he wouldn't like to speak with his mouth full as it would be a nuisance for the both of us. "Mmhmm." He nodded his head towards the door and then bobbed it up and down. I took this gesture as a goodbye and smiled. "Goodnight, Ivan. Try to sleep well."

I then turned my attention onto Kumajirou who was still enjoying his own dinner. "And goodnight to you too baby. You make sure no one comes in here."

Kumajirou barely acknowledged me as I spoke to him, too engrossed in his meal to notice. I had a laugh at that and stood up.

"Goodnight, Madeline." Ivan said finally. I strode towards the door and waved to him.

"Goodnight." He waved back with his free hand and gave a joyful hum.

I opened the door and threw myself out into the darkness once again. This time, however, I had only the moon to guide me. Unfortunately, tonight was quite cloudy and I had barely enough time to make it back to the front door before it became pitch black.

To my relief, however, Alfred didn't seem realize that I was gone for long. Gilbert flashed me a questioning look, which I returned with a thankful gesture. He climbed into his make-shift bed that Alfred had laid out for him, and I got into my own bed. Alfred followed not long after, stopping briefly by my bedside to give me a kiss on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, Maddie."

"Sweet dreams, Al." I whispered in response. He then climbed into bed and blew out his own candle, filling the whole cabin with darkness. I sat there awake for a few more minutes, listening to the two men slowly drift off to sleep and their breathing meld into snoring. I myself found sleep snatch away my thoughts with ease. It felt nice to be in my own bed in a nice warm house for once.

* * *

><p>"Shh! Be quiet!"<p>

"Fuck you, I am being quiet! You're the one who's stomping around like some kind of an elephant!"

"Shut up! You'll wake it up!"

Two muffled voiced argued far off into the distance. I then heard the creaking of the shed door, and the dog at my side was disturbed. My skin was warmed by an unnatural light, and I felt the presence of two men enter the shed. I opened one eye a sliver and glanced down past my feet to spot them.

Alfred and Gilbert stepped inside, a gun holstered over each of their shoulders. A deep feeling churned in my gut, but I did not dare to move.

"Al, we should just go back inside, your sister will be pissed." Gilbert advised.

Alfred stepped forward and stared down at me with his deep blue eyes, glowering. "She wont find out."

"What are you going to do? That dog is going to wake her up." Gilbert motioned to the door. "You just wanted to check and see if it's still here, and it's sleeping. Lets go back to bed now."

Alfred narrowed his eyes and took another step forward. "Are you sure it's still sleeping?"

A sudden trill of fear shot up my spine and I quickly shut my eye. "Al, stop it! Get away from there!"

I felt Alfred's presence hover over me, bringing with him an air of hostility. My muscles bunched up in preparation for what may follow, and I gritted my teeth. He prodded my shoulder with his boot, and I allowed my body to go limp.

"Alfred are you fucking insane?!" Gilbert whispered harshly.

"Shut up Gilbert! I'm just checking to see if it's out."

"It's out cold, let's go back to the cabin now." I could hear the little twinge of fear in the albino's voice.

"Why the hell does Maddie insist I keep this thing alive in here? It has to be suffering if nothing else." Alfred's presence backed off, and I felt like I could breathe better again.

"Just let her go on with this for a while longer, it hasn't hurt her yet."

"I can't believe that you actually _agree_ with her! Look at the muscle on this thing, Gilbert, it could tear a grown man in half without breaking a sweat. You mean to tell me that it hasn't hurt her? It's only a matter of time!" I heard his boots scuffle in the dirt, pacing around to my other side. Kumajirou made a low growl as Alfred approached.

My heart began to race as I listened to them; I wanted to just cover my ears and block it all out. I didn't want to listen to it anymore. It was all true, and I was already painfully aware of it all. I didn't need the both of them to remind me.

A part of me wished that Alfred would just get it over with before I actually _did_ do something.

"Look, Al, just cool it for now. I want to get rid of it just as much as you do; hell, I'd sleep much better at night, but I trust your sister's judgement. So what? Maybe she has something more to show us that we aren't seeing?"

"She's doing the same thing that she did when her rabbit was sick, Gil. She treated me like a heartless monster for half a year after I had to put it out of its misery." Alfred sighed. "I'm just worried for her sake."

"Listen, if she is wrong, and this creature steps anywhere out of line, then you have that gun, it's head is right there. You can stop this train wreck whenever it's necessary."

It felt like there was a sack of rocks in my stomach as I continued to listen. I had to keep myself from saying something.

"I don't know, man. It's chilling just watching it sleep... I never know what it's going to do." Alfred responded. "I didn't even know creatures like this _could_ sleep. I mean, it has killed so many people, could something be any more... detached as to sleep so easily?"

"Is this really what Arthur described to you?" Gilbert sounded unsure. "Maybe we have the wrong thing?"

Alfred snorted and I could imagine him shaking his head in refusal. "Do you want to see the bruises that this thing gave me?"

I felt a knot tighten in my throat.

"Come on, let's go get some sleep before you give yourself nightmares." Gilbert prompted to the other male.

I heard one set of footsteps lead out of the shed, leaving the other behind. There was a long period of uneasy silence, which forced me to hold my breath. I knew that someone was still in here with me.

"If you are listening monster, count your blessings, because those will be the only things keeping you alive for any longer. If my sister has so much as a scratch on her, I will make sure your head wont be reattachable for a second time." I then heard his footsteps exit, and the shed door eased shut behind him.

I swallowed hard as the shed descended into darkness once again. Kumajirou curled up closer to me and I flipped over onto my back. Anxiety forced me to stay awake for yet another night. I was lucky to have seen this one; which made me wonder how many more I had left to live.

I tried to calm my pounding heart and think of happier thoughts, but they seemed distant, and unrealistic. Even the thought of Madeline could not bring me to positivity. I was stuck to attend to my own fears once again, alone.

_What have I gotten myself into?_


	16. Sober

Several weeks passed by at a painfully slow pace. Every day brought new instances of paranoia, and every day I fell asleep filled with uncertainty that I would wake up. I felt like I was in some sort of a prison.

Some nights Madeline would visit me, but other nights I found myself in the presence of Alfred. He continued to come almost every other day. I didn't know what he wanted, but he would speak to me. He spoke to me about Madeline and about himself; he told me their plans in the future. They were going to move across the ocean to some continent known as 'America' and find a life there. He said that they'd settle down in the south where it was almost always sunny, and he'd take good care of Madeline. It sounded like a pretty nice plan.

Eventually, I could sense that it was his guilt that forced him to do this. He was trying to make it easier for himself to kill me. Other nights he slurred on and on about nonsense. I felt very anxious around him when he was drunk.

But, as if the gates of heaven would open up before me, in the morning, Madeline would come in and wash away all of my worries. It was as if Alfred was the perpetual dark of night, and Madeline the wonderful rays of dawn. I'm still not quite sure if I should tell her about her brother... I do not want her to worry, but I won't want her to wake up in the morning and fine me dead either.

As usual, when the light of early morning began to spill in from beneath the door, I could hear footsteps in the distance. I was warmed when I thought of the lovely conversations we would share today. Even if they were just about the weather, I really enjoy to hear her voice; it was as soft as the gentle breeze of spring, and as light as a feather. It was wonderful in contrast to the many voices that I've heard over the years. Hers, unlike others, was kind, and I find myself becoming lost within it often.

The footsteps came closer and stopped right outside the door, blocking out a bit of the light. The door slid open, and a head of beautiful blonde hair poked inside.

I felt my head clear, and a smile came to my face. She was breathtaking, her dusky eyes flicking in my direction with her sunny curls bouncing ever so slightly.. "Good morning." Madeline chimed before stepping inside.

I closed my eyes and sighed gently. _A good morning indeed..._

Kumajirou rushed inside beside her, his big fluffy head swishing around in search of me. I held my hand out, and he pushed his nose into it, licking it happily. I chuckled with joy. Madeline giggled and strode over to us. I immediately noticed the new aroma wafting around her, and flicked my gaze over. It was sweet and subtle like a flower and reminded me of rolling fields of flowers and fresh spring grass.

The door was propped open with a rock, allowing the gentle sensation of sunlight inside. It felt alien on my skin, and I held out my arm. My eyebrows popped up in surprise. It had become incredibly pale with my lack of exposure to such light. My veins and imperfections were much clearer to me, and I swiftly brought my arm back to my side.

Madeline sat down beside me and sighed. "It has been a while, hasn't it."

I glanced over to her, and back ahead at the outside world. "What has?"

Her gaze flicked over to me and I spotted a frown on her face in my peripheral vision. I immediately turned my attention onto her. "You've been stuck in here for so long... I feel terrible."

I shook my head and rested it against the wall behind us. "It does not bother me. It is enough to be alive, right?" A little chuckle forced its way from my chest, sounding a bit bitter with a hint of my actual feelings.

I wanted to leave this place, sure. It would be much easier just to return to my normal life and forget that I had even met Madeline; but something kept me here. It was something in the air, something that I breathe in every night before I fall asleep that poisons my body. My disease induced dreams cause me both fear and uncertainty. Every night that I find myself feeling alone and afraid, something brings me to sleep like courier of the damned and the sleep deprived. Even when I urge myself that if I did I may not wake up, it cradles me in a blanket of darkness, and hushes me to the depths of unconsciousness. No matter how much I wish to, I cannot fight the power of this odd force, it feels too exhilarating as it fills my lungs and pulls through my veins. It feels too unfamiliar... too sweet to not be a lie. Now I fear that it has already taken my mind as well...

And so, I stay here, hoping for nothing and fearing the unknown. I am urged to stay and await Madeline's visit every morning and be reassured that there may be something positive to this terrible situation that I've found myself in.

"Ivan?" Madeline suddenly asked, breaking me away from my thoughts.

I turned to her with a tilt of my head. "Hmm?"

"You're shaking... are you alright?" Her eyes bore into me for a moment before I looked down at myself.

"Oh..." My legs quivered, and I held my arms close to myself to still them. I felt my face burn up in embarrassment. "I'm okay. Th-thank you." I stammered.

Madeline gave me a slight smile, clearly still a little concerned. "Are you okay in here? I feel horrible for keeping you locked away like this." She said.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees. Fortunately, my wound had healed a while ago and would not tear again with the slightest of movements. ...Although I do not wish to tell her about my others... She may become worried, and I do not want to become such a burden.

"I am fine..." I murmured.

I felt her touch on my shoulder, and she leaned her head onto it. "I'll see what I can do. Alfred is still very unsure about the whole thing."

I swallowed hard, remembering the past night filled with drunken gibberish and empty threats. Even if Alfred was the one thing standing between me and my freedom, I couldn't help but feel pity. Alfred was only worried about Madeline after all, and his own concern seemed to be tearing him apart. I wish that he would allow me a night to tell him that I'd like to leave them in peace; It would only be the very best for all of us. My own personal issues were not something to force onto the two of them, and self indulgence was not a very welcome feeling.

I opened my mouth to say something, but stopped myself. What would I say? I can't even organize my own feelings, let alone express them coherently. A sigh forced itself from my lips and I allowed my shoulders to sag and my back to slouch. If only that dreadful feeling would leave me alone...

Madeline picked up my hand at my side and held it up. I watched her inspect it numbly. She felt the sutures and the faded scar left from my burn, her touch very gentle. "Does it hurt?" I heard her question.

_Many things hurt..._ I thought to myself. "Hmm?"

She closed my fist and rubbed my knuckles. "Your joints... Surely you had suffered the effects of rigor mortis?" Madeline turned her head to me, her eyes large and curious.

I sighed with a little shrug. These types of questions no longer bothered me. At this point I had already become used to them. "For a while, and sometimes when it rains. The humidity makes them lock up."

She nodded, her touch running up my arm. I tried to ignore the chills that ran up my spine. My body still hadn't become accustomed to such gentle touches. "There isn't much that makes you different from Alfred or me, or even Gilbert, you know... We have the same blood, do we not?"

I felt bile rise in my throat, bitter like the thought. "There is much that is different between you and I, Madeline."

Madeline lifted her head from my shoulder, and furrowed her eyebrows. "How so?"

I lazily lifted my head to glance up at the ceiling. "Everything is different behind my eyes; what you see as fellow kinsman, I see as a whole different race. Humans are very odd, and I myself do not see the method to their madness."

"You say humans as if you are not made up of them."

"That's just it, Madeline. I'm made of them, but that does not make me one of them. I had once thought that I could one day be seen as an equal among them, but your kind is cruel. Why do humans kill each other? Are they not made of the same things? Do they not breathe the same air and live through the same woes of life and death; birthing and dying? Why does a man grow ever envious with greed? Is he not born with the same skin as the next human?"

"Have you never felt envious?" Madeline inquired.

I chuckled bitterly. "Of course I have, envy is one of the most rooted feelings in my soul. I came into this world with an optimistic mind, eager to learn, but due to man's evil games I found myself immersed in jealousy."

Madeline's fingers brushed over my chin, as she forced me to turn my head. I did so with a tight chest and gritted teeth. Her lips were down-curved and her eyes dark. "Why are you still jealous then?" She asked.

I bit back in surprise. "W-what?"

She shook her head. "Something is still clearly wrong, Ivan. Why are you jealous?"

I knit my eyebrows together and crinkled up my nose. "What is the cause for your sudden accusation? I-I'm not jealous."

"But you just said that you were..." Madeline tilted her head. "And you're holding something back."

I felt my face grow very hot, and my mind spun with confusion. Why does she think I'm jealous? There's nothing that I should be...

My mind immediately cleared up, and all I could think of was one person. I felt my heart leap into my throat and I shook my head. "No, I'm not jealous. That's a terrible thing to infer." I spoke coolly, hiding the chaos beneath.

Madeline forced herself into my field of vision, pushing her face close to my own. She stared directly into my eyes, and I felt myself plummet into panic. This was much too close for me. I began to hyperventilate and I shook my head back and forth. "P-please, I-I don't feel comfortable telling you."

She frowned and leaned away. "That's fine." I felt a sudden stab at how disappointed she sounded. The same something that which poisons my mind and forces me to stay, drove the name right from my lips. "I-I'm jealous of you..."

I shied away from her and pulled my legs tighter to myself. My throat tightened up and I felt regret rush through me almost immediately.

Madeline was very silent for a long minute, not making a single sound. I felt her arms wrap around my back, and my eyes burned with the threat of tears. "It's alright, Ivan." I heard her whisper, and her hands rubbed up and down my spine. Her touch hurt more than the strike of a blunt weapon, and I struggled to contain myself.

"I just want your eyes, and your porcelain skin... and brother who loves me... I-I-" My voice became choked as I fought to contain my feelings.

_Stop it!_ I begged myself mentally. _Self pity will get you nowhere!_

Her hand gravitated up to my head and she ran her fingers through my hair. I bit down on my lip hard and whined. "It's alright, Ivan. It's okay to feel that way; I understand completely."

I shook my head back and forth. "No, y-you don't understand."

She rubbed my back in a calming manner. "I do, Ivan. I do understand."

"It's like torture." I hissed out. "Every night it's choking me like a snake. I want to be able to see your face and not feel that evil longing."

Madeline was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "... It is only human to want better. You aren't evil for wanting such things."

I felt my face growing increasingly hot. "But- I-I don't-"

"Shh." Madeline pressed my head down into her shoulder, silencing my blundering.

I took a deep breath and let it out in a short huff. Madeline lingered for a moment longer before backing away to look me in the face. "Better?" She asked.

I rubbed my eyes, even if there were no tears in them and pouted. It had been a long time that we sat there, her eyes staring into mine. She slowly smiled and reached out to rub my shoulder. "See, it's alright."

I took a slow breath and sighed heavily. "B-but I still feel this rotten feeling deep in my gut that I cannot shake." I argued.

Madeline closed her eyes and shook her head gently. "You'll feel better; I promise."

I blinked slowly. "O...kay."

She giggled and smiled like the sun. "I'll come and see you later, okay? And I'll also see about some brunch too. Gilbert and Alfred aren't awake yet, but I want to be there when they do."

I nodded. "Of course."

Madeline leaned over, once again, coming very close to my face. She pressed her lips to my forehead and giggled again. "See you two later!" I felt my face grow very hot, and my heart leapt in my chest. She turned away and left without another word.

I wondered how she could be so lighthearted about such a rotten thing. Envy and jealousy are terrible things... why does she brush them off so easily? Her ability to forgive boggles my brain to no end.

I reached up to rub the spot in which she placed a kiss on. My whole body buzzed with uncertainty; I was very unaccustomed to such gestures. What did it mean?

The feeling returned, and I felt my throat tighten. I wish I could see her once more, and ask her. What is this feeling that keeps me bound here; and why am I so envious of a life that I cannot possibly understand?

I swallowed hard and leaned my head back on the wall behind me. How would I ever work up the courage to ask her in the first place?

* * *

><p>My day went by like a dream, it continued on as almost every other day has. Alfred and Gilbert would return to their own business while I was left to my own, all the while they kept their eyes half focused on me to make sure nothing happened. Gilbert seemed to be pretty calm and easy going with the current state, but Alfred on the other hand, worried me. I found a few empty bottles of liquor under his bed while I was tidying up, and a corkscrew underneath his pillow.<p>

I do hope he isn't drinking again; although the evidence definitely points towards him. When Alfred is drunk, he is really unpredictable. Sometimes he'll be happy, other times angry. Alcohol only heightens his current mood, and lately he has been quite on edge. It would be a bad mix of he were to come face to face with someone he wanted to kill when sober.

When we settled for lunch again, I noticed him holding a half empty bottle of alcohol.

"Al? What's that?" I asked, turning away from my own meal.

Alfred stopped himself, the bottle pressed against his lower lip. "Hmm?"

I narrowed my eyes with a frown. "That bottle. What's in it?"

"Gin." Alfred shrugged, taking a long swig. He sighed with content and set it down on the table. His eyes then traveled over to me and he lifted a brow. "Is that a problem, Maddie?"

I gave him a disappointed look. "You haven't had a drink in a year, Al. You know how I feel about you taking up the pint again."

Alfred laughed and traced his fingers over the label. "It's just one drink."

I stitched my eyebrows together in agitation. "Then what have you to say about the bottles I found under your bed? Surely they aren't yours?" My gaze flicked over to Gilbert momentarily. The albino looked to be severely confused, but chose to stay out of our quarrel.

Alfred glowered at me. "And so what if they are? You aren't my caretaker. I can have as many drinks as I like."

"But I'm your sister, and I care about your well being as well as our own."

He huffed and turned away from me. "Just give me one more drink, Maddie. I'm stressed the fuck out and liquor helps to dull my senses." Alfred's shoulders were tense, and his knuckles white as he leaned over the table.

I watched him for a moment before sighing heavily. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid." Alfred rolled his eyes and reached out to grab the bottle again. I gritted my teeth and slipped it from his hand. "Promise me."

He stared at me angrily and swiped the bottle back. "Whatever. You're the one doing stupid shit. How about you go out there with a rifle and aim it at that creature's head without feeling the guilt of your little sister weighing on your shoulders? It isn't fucking easy!"

My eyes widened and I gasped in horror. "You what?!"

He growled. "That's not the point."

"You went out there after you promised you wouldn't?!" I exclaimed with outrage.

"I make too many promises with you, Madeline! Once in a while I have to let one go to keep another!" Alfred argued, gulping down the rest of his gin and pounding it back down into the table. "And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get another drink just in spite of you!" He stood up from his chair with a loud scuffle and pushed it in violently. I gasped, trying to hold the table still as our glasses teetered.

"Alfred!" I proclaimed.

He stomped into our bedroom, leaving both Gilbert and I alone at the table. I felt my chest constrict with yet another layer of guilt. Gilbert sighed lightly and glanced over to me. "Your brother has been struggling for the past few weeks. There's a lot in his court right now."

I glanced down at my plate and propped my head up with my hand. "I know..."

"It's a lot for all of us right now. I'm sure you've got a lot going on too." He continued, his voice slow and comforting.

I tilted my head. "Then how are you holding up so well? You don't seem very stressed."

Gilbert shrugged. "I am just an observer. I'll go with whatever decision your brother and you decide on."

I cocked one eyebrow. "What about your family? Don't you have to return to them soon?"

His face became very grim, and I was taken aback. "My family no longer speaks to me. It's only my brother that I sometimes write letters to, but that isn't often enough to call it contact."

I bowed my head in respect. "I'm sorry."

Gilbert shrugged again, taking a sip of his own drink. I watched him drink for a moment, noticing the odd yellow hue of his beverage. He had alcohol too. I wondered if he was just very good at hiding his feelings. For a moment, I allowed myself to feel pity for him. At least I had Alfred for family, his family wouldn't even acknowledge him to worry if he was all the way up here. There was nothing a son could do that would excuse that kind of abandonment.

Alfred came back with a bottle of vodka and elaborately set it down beside me. "Hey Gil, do we still have any cranberry juice?" He asked, his voice slurring a bit.

Gilbert set down his beer and nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen. "I think we have some left in the icebox. Go easy on the vodka though, buddy. The Russians really know how to make that stuff strong."

"Yea, yea." Alfred grumbled as he rolled his eyes and strode into the kitchen.

I shrunk into my chair a bit and sighed. We all had too much on our plates at the moment...

* * *

><p>"Ivan?" I whispered, stepping inside the shed once again. A small smile came to my face as I came inside. It would be nice to just hang out again; I always seemed to calm down when we talked. I enjoyed our little gab sessions because the two of us seemed to be much lighter on our shoulders afterwords.<p>

I set down the two bottles I had been holding and lit a match so I could use my lantern. It was already getting so dark outside, the remainder of sunlight wouldn't do us very much in fifteen minutes time. "Alfred went to bed early, so I thought we could enjoy a drink or two for the night. It would help to unwind." I sighed with content as the lantern lit and blew out the match. "I hope you like French wine..."

I picked up the bottles again and turned to smile at him. My heart immediately plummeted and I dropped one of the bottles with a loud clank.

Kumajirou blinked his eyes and his ears lifted up in surprise.

"K-Kuma? Where's Ivan?!" I gasped.

Kumajirou's tail wagged back and forth and he began to pant joyously at the sight of me. I shook my head and set both my lantern and the other bottle down. A spike of pain shot up the side of my head and I hissed. I glanced around like mad, as if he could be hiding somewhere. "I-Ivan?!" I exclaimed.

Kumajirou came over to rub against my leg as I threw the door open again. "Ivan?!" I called out into the fading daylight. My eyes flicked down to the snow below and I noticed a trail of footprints that lead out in the direction of the woods adjacent from our cabin. My legs began to wobble and I fell to my knees.

My whole body became very numb and I stared blankly out at the forest.

"He... left..." I murmured in astonishment. The cold breeze that blew past chilled deep into my bones, and I felt tears form in my eyes. Just when I thought everything was going alright...

Kumajirou rubbed his nose into my side and rested his head on my lap. He whined and pawed at my arm, wishing to be pet. I rested my hand on his head and stared off into the distance.

"N-no... Maybe he didn't leave? M-maybe he's just out to relieve himself?" I bit my lip and hoped to god that it wasn't what I thought. My mind buzzed with other situations much more dire than what I voiced.

A long moment passed and I laughed to myself, startling Kumajirou a bit. "He wouldn't leave. I'm just too worried about it... Me and my worrying again." I reached over to grab on the the bottles of wine and a bottle opener. "I'll wait for him to get back. There isn't any reason for me to jump to conclusions." Worry had gotten none of us anywhere today, but the bottom of a bottle.

Kumajirou had seemed very happy when I arrived, so he couldn't have left for good. Dogs were great at sensing that kind of thing. I glanced down at him and fought to smile. "You know where he went, right, Kumababy? He'll be back, right?"

Kumajirou yawned and cuddled me, seemingly unaffected by our current situation. I felt my eyes grow hot as my worries began to overwhelm me. _Calm down, he'll be back soon. When he gets back you'l feel stupid and we'll all have a good laugh._

I swallowed hard and screwed off the cork of the the bottle in my hand with a loud 'plunk!' Now I understood why Alfred was drinking again. The call of an easier night of sleep was very alluring. My nerves were on a high today, and I needed nothing like this right now to make it worse.

I narrowed my eyes at the label and stifled a sob. "Cheers." I muttered quietly. "To me..." I immediately kissed the rim. It tasted awful; what a waste of money for bad wine. Just another disappointment... at least this one I could stomach.

Even if I had somehow foresaw such a thing happening, I couldn't possibly have prepared myself for it. I felt so sure that he wouldn't leave, at least not without letting me know...

I took another long swig and looked out at the sky. The sun was about to set, and the first stars were beginning to shine bright in the mixed sea of purple and black. I hung my head down and set down my bottle.

"Look at me... I'm drinking again too... Old habits always seem to die hard, huh?" I laughed sourly, and swam in my guilt.

Waiting had become something intolerable for me.

* * *

><p>I sighed heavily as I trudged back through the forest, the moon shining high up in the sky. With each inhale, my lungs would fill with the clean, cold air, and each exhale would leave me calmer and the air warm and white. My mind had become much clearer with my little walk, and I was very thankful for such time. It seems that a break from that musky shed was long overdue.<p>

A few hours before dusk, I had broken the shackles of my ill mind and forced myself to walk; and walk I did. Once my feet were in motion, they led me on and on into the forest. I didn't know where I was going, or why, but it felt great to peel off the layers of anxiety on my shoulders and leave them behind me. I felt alive again; no longer like some dying creature waiting to be put down. Now I felt as if my veins had filled with the very freedom of the air, and the stars blanketed me with their reassuring light. I was cradled by the familiarity of the forest, and listened as nature's soft whisper told me that everything would be alright.

I could die now, and be content knowing that things would be alright. My dignity was still left intact, and nature was willing to allow my deformities to melt away along with the winter snow. I could become whole again, and without any regrets to tie me down.

Death wasn't what I feared anymore; it was something much larger than even me or the stars. That damned feeling still lingered in the corners of my mind, like a cat stalking its prey. I tried to keep it back as I returned back to the shed, but it only grew worse as I neared. It made my stomach sick, and my mind grow depressed. I never felt this ill when I was in my own shed many, many, moons ago... Perhaps I may have caught something...

My eyes strayed from the stars as I caught glimpse of a light coming from the shed. I furrowed my eyebrows and hurried my steps. _What's this? Oh no... Has my absence already been realized?!_

I flattened myself against the wall and turned my head to glance inside. The faded light of a lantern trickled out through the crack of the door, flickering as the flame danced around its wick. I nervously bit my tongue and peeked through the crack. My eyes widened and I opened the door some more.

"Madeline?" I whispered. "Madeline, you should not be here." I urged.

Panic suddenly arose in my chest. She should definitely not be here right now! What if Alfred came waltzing in here and found her asleep?!

"Madeline I-" I closed my mouth suddenly as my eyes ran over the two bottles resting beside her. One was on its side, virtually empty, while the other seemed to be half-full with a deep red substance. I could easily smell the bitter scent of alcohol and grapes in the air.

A frown came to my face as I glanced back over to Madeline. She was in her jacket, which hung loosely on her shoulders and had been zipped halfway in a seemingly unconcerned effort. Her side rose and fell slowly and I heard her snoring gently. She had fallen asleep...

I sighed and bent down beside her. "Madeline...? Madeline. You have to leave now." I hesitantly prodded her shoulder. "Your brother will not be pleased."

She furrowed her eyebrows and murmured something incoherent. A moment passed, and my hopes of her rising fluctuated. Madeline made no move to get up, and her facial expression relaxed once again.

I sighed. "Fine... You leave me with no choice." I carefully slipped my arms underneath her back and her legs and lifted her up with ease. Kumajirou whined and stood up, his eyes gleaming in the lamplight.

"Shh..." I pursed my lips and waited until he drifted back down onto his belly to turn around. My eyes fell back onto her sleeping form and I frowned. How had this happened? I had only left for a breath of fresh air. It was only a few hours...

I then remembered her speaking of some sort of meeting over our brunch. Guilt made my feet heavy as I carried her outside. I hadn't been here when she came... How selfish of me.

I glanced back up to the sky and sighed heavily. Now the moon was just mocking me. I grumbled and carried her in the direction of the cabin. That damned feeling and its twisted tricks! It had allowed me to leave when Madeline wanted to meet me! Of all times for it to let up, it had to when I would be most disappointed!

I growled and gritted my teeth. It was then that I swore my hatred towards this enticing sensation. Only evil things are so sweet!

When I reached the front door, I positioned myself to turn the knob with one hand, while I balanced Madeline's legs awkwardly on one knee. She felt so fragile, I had almost forgotten how light she was ever since the last time I had to pick her up.

I pushed in the door and it creaked in protest. The inside of the cabin was filled with a dim light resonating from the fireplace to my right, which was blocked out by a chair positioned before it. On the floor, I could immediately feel the presence of someone else resting. I assumed him to be the siblings' guest.

I took a deep breath and held it as I stepped inside. The floorboards groaned as I began to explore the cabin, trying and failing to contain my curiosity. I was hit with a wave of warmth from the fireplace, and a small smile came to my face. It felt very homey in here, almost like the many homes I had previously scouted. Every now and then, I did catch myself dreaming on living somewhere so luxurious... but now was not the time.

In my mind lingered the distant fear of something jumping out at me from the shadows; if it be Alfred, or some sort of a gun pressed to my head, I was kept on my toes.

I entered through one of the door frames in the back of the main room and peeked inside the door left ajar just inside. Inside I found two beds dressed with heavy furs and lined with several pillows at the head. For a moment I felt relief, but it was short lived as I heard the breathing of someone else.

My stomach churned as I pondered stepping inside. Surely I would be caught blundering about with Madeline in my arms; confrontation was almost inevitable. I then glanced back down to Madeline and felt my shoulders sag.

Her cheeks were dusted with a delicate blush, and her hair clung to her jawline with sweat and dog saliva. She had clearly seen better nights...

My eyes softened and I frowned. Madeline wouldn't be safe anywhere besides her own bed... It was only right to return her to it...

I swallowed my courage and took a deep breath. No, I could do this. Show no fear. I'll just slip inside, tuck her in and slip back out. Alfred wouldn't have to find out. I peeked back inside and whined. My legs were rooted to the ground as all of my instincts told me to get out. I gritted my teeth and took one step inside.

Alfred snored and flipped over in bed as I strode carefully over to the empty bed on his right. God, did I hope that this was the right one.

I leaned down and gently set her down on top of the furs. Her head sunk limply to the side, and I pulled the blankets up over her chest. A little trill of accomplishment sparked inside me and I smiled. Now that wasn't too hard. I stood there for a minute and my gaze flicked over to Alfred still fast asleep. My eyes drifted back to Madeline and I bit my lip.

I felt the urge to say a few departing words, but with him in the room it was almost impossible to get away unscathed.

She turned over onto her side and grabbed one of her pillows, letting out a long breath. A small smile spread across her delicate features and I knew I had to do something.

My face grew warm and I hesitantly leaned down closer to her face. I felt her breath tickle my cheeks and pursed my lips to place a little kiss on her forehead.

She murmured something and I quickly drew back. It felt strange returning the gesture...

I turned away and tried to cool down my cheeks with the backs of my hands. She would be fine, I assured myself; she was safe with her brother.

I slipped back outside as quiet as a mouse and sighed loudly the minute I was freed from the cabin. The frigid night air stung my burning skin and I observed the moon once again.

It stared down at me like a pale face, silent and mysterious. I reached up to place my hand over my chest and let out another long breath. My heart was racing yet again. But for tonight, I let it go. Life was an ever changing enigma, much too fast for me to keep up. At least now my heart seemed to keep with the pace.


	17. A Single Day

I felt a longing from which the source was unclear to me, and a chill had settled deep in my bones. Sleep, unlike my usual routine of tossing and turning and eventual slumber, was absent in my mind. Not even the evil temptations of emotion could lead me away like a malevolent shepherd would his mindless sheep. It had replaced bitter sweetness with a deep ocean of dread.

Madeline hadn't come that morning, and as the afternoon stretched on, I feared that she wouldn't be coming then either.

I felt my guilt set in sometime after noon set in the sky, breathing its warm rays beneath the door. Kumajirou was my only sense of comfort for my troubled thoughts.

"You don't think that she forgot about me, do you?" I asked, reaching out in the darkness to pet the large animal. Kumajirou sniffed my hand and licked my fingers, failing to suppress my crushing anxiety. I teased at the skin on my bottom lip with my teeth, while my vision darted all around in the blackness. Was it something I did to offend her? Perhaps she is upset with me?" I felt a punch to my chest and released a low whine. "Oh, I hope she doesn't hate me... I-I don't know what I'd do if she didn't like me anymore..."

If memory serves me correctly, Madeline has visited me every day at least once; but now I have been left for almost a full twenty four hours without her grace. This is not good, it is too uncanny. My instincts had been correct in their unheard message; something had gone wrong between me and my most beloved friend. Now my brain was thrown into a frenzy. I cannot possibly think of anything that might have caused such a thing. Madeline had seemed so unoffended by my feelings... Was she really that good at hiding her feelings? Has she been hiding other feelings from me as well?

I rubbed my wrist and felt my eye twitch. The mere thought injected insecurity into my mind, and behind that, I harbored seething rage. I tended to have this horrible tick, that whenever my mind was emotionally or physically distressed, I had the unsurpassable need to crush something. Perhaps it was an issue of mine... Okay it was a _huge_ issue of mine. But it had gotten me out of trouble several times before.

Although now, it didn't seem so useful. I had no intent to hurt Madeline. Just the thought caused my stomach to churn, and my mind begin to reel. I would never allow any harm to come of her, she was my friend, and I was willing to defend her with everything I had.

I blinked a few times in surprise and gripped the fabric over my chest. My heart beat heavy with rage; lately it never seemed to take a break.

Madeline smiles and it gallops like a horse; I embarrass myself, it thunders like a drum; by a slight chance our skin makes contact, and it races like no tomorrow. It was getting to the point where just the thought of her made it ache. I longed the sight of her, or anything to do with her for that matter.

I released my grip on my shirt and stared longingly towards the door.

_Perhaps sharing my feelings had repelled her..._

I frowned, feeling my veins grow cold. No, I didn't even want to imagine such a painful situation. Now I know that my mind was a terrible mess, I'm not making any sense anymore. But my primitive conscious doesn't know any better than to distrust. I had no idea what to believe. I had to ask her so many things, and convey myself in such a way that I don't seem weak. It was the only thing that makes me feel better anymore. Talking to her calms me down, but in her absence, if only for a single day, had set my internal clocks back. They toll and tick and spring in twisted tones, and my emotions burst in small spouts.

But... I may even be overreacting... God did I hope I was.

She would be coming any minute now. I know she would. She always did.

* * *

><p>I sighed, and stared up at the ceiling with a gloomy frown. Fragments of last night swam around my mind like a koi fish, constantly swirling through the deep waters of my memories. My head felt stuffy, and my vision stung in the light.<p>

I absolutely hated hangovers. That was one thing I've never missed about alcohol. The next morning afterwards was never pleasant.

Alfred visited me once in the morning, and due to my sharp tongue and shortened patience, he had shied away to his own part of the house. Of course I felt bad for snapping at him, but I did **not** want to see him at the moment. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to see anyone. The presence of another human being was the last thing a needed right now. I felt like crying, vomiting, and screaming out all at once.

Why did he leave? Why hadn't he stayed when I needed him most? I thought that I've opened up enough to him to have him stay. My doors were always open when I was in his presence; any question that he might have, I was always happy to answer. His curiosity added new meaning to my life for once. He made me question things that even I hadn't thought of myself. And I thought that he was the same way... Ivan hadn't seemed reluctant to answer any of my petty little curiosities that I'd share. Hell, he'd seemed pleased with getting things off his chest. But now? Now what? He's gone... he left without so much as a goodbye!

I felt my eyes burn and I tightly squeezed them shut. What I'd give just to see him for a few moments before he left, to try and convince him that it wasn't better out there. I wanted to see him, and know that he still exists. My whole experience with him has been surreal. Never had I dreamed of a friend so intriguing and unique. It seemed like we were somehow destined to meet, that something out there had allowed us to stand on the same ground and see eye to eye. Each of us had served as a doorway into two separate and unfamiliar worlds, and I found myself becoming lost in his.

Ivan was a person trapped within the borders of a patchwork body, and he so desperately tried to understand and break through that. I wanted to help him, I wanted to be the one to greet him into this new world; while at the same time, I wanted to know what his reality was. A world filled with curiosity and wonders, a world filled with strange desires and feelings that I wanted so very much to understand,_ his_ world. His emotions are much different from mine or any other person I've known, yet they still tied very closely to our own. He is a unique creature, but at the same time, he is just a man.

I wanted to learn more from him... I wanted that so badly that it hurt. My mind wants to go and find him again, but my body is heavy and unmotivated. I wish to betray what I know is right and see him just once more, but something in the back of my mind filled me with doubt.

For some reason, I felt like he could still be out there, that what I 'remember' was just a drunken hallucination. But at the same time, I feel off-put by the idea of exploring. I don't know what it is, or why, but I just feel like I don't want to be disappointed when I find him gone. I don't want to have to experience grief at the loss of such a cherished friend. It would be too much for my heart to take at the moment.

And so, I lie here and wait. For what, I don't know. I don't have the energy to get out of bed anymore.

Gilbert from there on brought me my meals, while I could hear Alfred and him converse in the other room. They weren't very good at whispering; it's like having a bunch of chattering mice in the house. Even so, I can already tell without hearing their words that they are talking about me. Alfred expresses his worries to Gilbert, while he continues to reassure my brother that it is nothing. I occupy myself by watching the sun outside my window and the shadows that move with its cycle. Although, I find our bedroom to be dull and uninteresting very quickly. The dead animals that furnish the ground and 'decorate' the walls do not in any way catch my interests. I find them rather unsettling. I can't comprehend the appeal of having corpses all over the house as having 'trophies.' The deer head across from me seems to stare out into the void, its eyes glossed over with a thick film of death. I wonder what its life must have been like before it was shot and decapitated for bragging rights. Probably like every other damned creature in the world.

"Hey, how are ya feeling?" I herd a knock on the door frame, and I pulled my attention away from the buck's head.

Alfred stood with his shoulder against the wall and a brooding look on his face.

I blinked my eyes a few times and winced in the still not-quite faint lighting. "I feel great." I responded sarcastically.

Alfred sighed and stood up straight. "Look, I understand that you don't like me drinking, and I'm sorry if I've hurt you, but-"

"No" I interrupted while Alfred slowly closed his mouth. He gave me an irritated look as I held my hand up to silence him. "You don't have to be sorry, Al. If I were to take your apology, I would be a hypocrite."

Alfred raised a confused brow. "Hmm?"

I tried to clarify my statement, but felt shameful whilst confessing. "I had a drink or two myself, so I can't go on blaming you for what you've done. It's not your fault." My head began to pound dully as I spoke.

Alfred blinked in solemn recognition, and he nodded finally. "I see." He stated, before stepping inside the room. "I can't blame you either, but that's not why I'm here."

I crossed my arms over my lap and waited as he strode over to my bedside. He sat down on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on my leg. "I wanted to apologize for all of the shit I've been putting you through. It's a lot for a young woman to be surrounded by men twenty-four-seven, and especially when we argue a lot. Now, I know we don't see eye to eye all of the time, and I can be very dispassionate with your feelings, but I want you to know that I love you very much, no matter what happens."

I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brows. "What are you getting at, Al? You sound like something bad is going to happen."

He opened his mouth and took a deep breath before slowly closing his mouth again. Alfred flicked his eyes away from me and stared out the window for a long moment.

"What are you planning, Alfred." I asked in a low voice. "You better not be planning on-"

"No, Madeline. I'm not going to do that... not.. yet exactly... But I know your feelings have been neglected, and- well, I feel bad for putting you in this position. Mom and Dad would have never wanted this to happen, they would have never hurt you as much as I have. Right now, they're probably very disappointed in me." His eyes gravitated to his lap and a frown tugged on his lips. "I've been a horrible big brother to you."

I shook my head and let out a long sigh. "You haven't been a bad brother, Alfred. I know that you just want me to be safe, and I'm thankful for having such a great brother. Hell, you could be the biggest arse in the world, but at least you still love me and care enough to see to that I'm okay." I closed my eyes. "You're all I've got, and I appreciate everything you've done."

The speed in which a smile came to his face dazzled me, and he shyly leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Thanks, sis. I'm glad for all of the company you've given me for these long years we've spend on our own. I think I would have gone mad if you'd passed away too."

I gave a small smile as me cheeks began to redden. Alfred wasn't usually the gushy lovey type, but when he was, it was a reminder that even he was human at heart. It never lasted when he was, but for now, I would seek refuge in his comforting aura from the pain left in my chest.

He sat with me for a while, and we talked about the little things we've been up to in the past week. It was nice to shy away from the topic of Ivan for a while, and just bask in our own special relationship. For the first time in a while, I felt like we were actually connecting again as brother and sister. It was like becoming siblings all over again. Alfred was his old self as usual, always cocky and optimistic; some things which offered me familiarity. He hadn't changed a bit in the short span of time that we had become distant.

I even chose to share a few curious things that were on my mind. Spring, as we knew it, was on its way soon, and the two of us eagerly looked forward to a break from this dastardly winter. Even if it was still biting outside in the spring season, it was much more to us than below freezing temperatures, and unrelenting snow storms. Alfred told me about the game he was looking forward to hunting in the warmer seasons, and how much money such pelts would offer on the english market. It was nice to hear him talk about different creatures that were worth good money. It gave me hope where there hadn't been before.

Even if Ivan had left me to go out on his own once again, at least he had some hope of freedom. With my brother preoccupied, there was a better chance for him to get as far away as he could. If Alfred couldn't hunt him down, then no other hunter in the entire world could. I knew it was bad to dwell upon things like that, but at least he would be safe, even if I'd rather have him stay with us.

Once dusk snuck out into the sky, Alfred left briefly to bring me dinner, and soon he too was situated in bed. I felt like I had wasted today, even if it was with good reason.

How the hell would I face tomorrow? I thought to myself. Tomorrow felt so daunting, and my mind was still so tired... tomorrow felt like it was a million miles away.

"Goodnight, Madeline, and sweet dreams." Alfred's voice called from the impending darkness.

I turned my head in his direction for a moment. "Goodnight."

Silence followed, and I once again found myself staring up at the ceiling. The faint light of the moon poured inside through the window above my head, bathing the room in a gentle blue hue. I could just barely see the outline of the books on my shelf, and the gleaming eyes of the buck. In a way, the light was unsettling, but also very calming.

Of course sleep was out of the equation for now, but I chose to try anyway. My mind drifted between the cabin and unconsciousness, as it tried and failed to whisk me away to sleep. My brain was begging for sleep, but my body was anything but tired. After a day of just lying around, it beckoned for me to move around. I hated when this happened, it was like the long carriage rides we took through Europe that went long into the night. It was like a separation between mind and body; constantly fighting itself for what either side wanted.

I blinked my eyes a few times, and tried again to sleep, but was interrupted by a sudden tapping. It sounded like some sort of animal was trying to get in through the window. My eyes snapped open and I sat upright. The tapping was ominous, and the eerie setting of the moon amplified its effect.

My heart almost leapt from my chest in a mixture of surprise and fear at what stood outside.

A figure stared inside from the other side of the glass, their mauve eyes gleaming in the moonlight, almost like those of a predator. At first I thought that I must be having some sort of a dream, but the figure on the other side tilted their head and continued to tap on the glass. I gasped in shock and threw myself from the covers. That couldn't be- it was impossible- Why was he here now?!

I rushed through the house, slipping on my boots and ran out into the cold winter night.

I stepped out into the snow, and was immediately hit with a wave of emotion. For a moment, I was frozen where I stood, my eyes glued to the surrounding forest. It was deathly silent aside from the steady huff of my breathing. The stars all watched down from the heavens, accompanied by the bright blue moon. I was dazed with hope and uncertainty. Had he really come back, or was this all just a cruel dream?

I peaked around the corner of the house, and felt my breathing hitch. A figure stood alone, his stature large, and his corpse-pale skin bathed in an enchanting azure hue. I would have never noticed his deformities if I hadn't known who it was after only a single glance.

"Ivan..." The name dispersed from my lips, and was carried away by the wind.

He turned around, and I bit down on my lip. Ivan's deep violet eyes gleamed in the moonlight, almost a whole shade darker in contrast with their usual tone. The look on his face forced a ball into my throat. I closed my eyes and threw myself forward.

Ivan gasped as I crashed into him, throwing my arms around his waist. My hands brushed down the long bumpy path of his spine, and I took a deep breath in. His skin... his scent... they were all so familiar. He was a solid form... He was real.

I felt tears prick my eyes and I forced my head into his chest. "Madeline..." I heard him answer, his voice curling around me.

He lifted his arm up and clasped the back of my head, holding my face closer towards himself. "You... did not come to visit me..." Ivan muttered, and I felt a sharp stab between my ribs.

I lifted my head to stare him in the face. My bottom lip quivered and I held back my tears. "I-I'm so sorry, Ivan. I thought that... I didn't know you'd... I thought you'd left..."

He gave a weak smile. "Why would I leave?"

I shook my head, shrinking down. "I... Oh, I don't know." I sighed shakily and leaned back into him. "I'm glad you came... I thought I would lose my mind!"

Ivan comforted me with gentle rubs, and ran his fingers through my hair. "Your hair is so beautiful..." He murmured. "I missed its shine."

I gave a little smile and closed my eyes. "It's alright, Ivan." My face was warm from the cold and the passive complement he had offered.

He held an arm around my shoulders, hugging me tighter. "I was so lonely... Even with Kumajirou I longed your presence..." Ivan began to go on a muse. "I'm sorry..."

I frowned and reached and an up to wrap it under one of his arms, resting my fingertips over his shoulder. "You don't have to be sorry, Ivan. It was all just a silly misunderstanding."

His lips drooped, and his eyelids lowered. "I hurt you... and all for selfishness... I deserved what I got."

I leaned my head back, and gave him a pitying look. He glanced down at me, his eyes like deep pools of shame and regret. I reached up to cup one side of his face. "It was just one day, no? I would never abandon you like that, I promise."

"R-really?" Ivan tilted his head slightly to the side, his cheeks fading with a gentle plume of rose.

I smiled wide with a giggle. "Of course, Ivan."

"So... You're not mad at me?" Ivan asked, his voice becoming very sheepish. "Not even with my devilish feelings?"

I cocked a brow. "Devilish?"

His eyes flicked away and I felt his hold on me waver. "... My envy." He murmured in a small voice. The way he had said it made it sound almost like some sort of an affliction.

I carefully patted his back in reassurance. "I was never mad at you to begin with; not for that, or anything else. Hell, I was worried that you had left me! Who else am I supposed to talk to out here?"

I saw the twitch of a smile of his lips, and persisted. "Neither my brother, nor Gilbert can hold an intelligent conversation for any longer than five minutes, and Kumajirou falls asleep whenever I attempt a word or two."

Ivan's lips slowly rolled up into a smile, and his mood began to lift. "Really?" He asked.

I bobbled my head and backed up to thrust my hand forward. "As long as you and I are friends, I have no reason to be mad at you."

His eyes dragged down from mine to the pale face of my palm, almost unsure. I waited patiently, smiling as he slowly extended his own to clasp them together, somewhat like a son receiving his father's family heirloom. His hand wrapped around mine gently, enclosing it with a wall of warmth which sent pleasant chills up my spine. Ivan glanced back up to me and closed his eyes. He leaned forward and pulled our hands up to his face. His breath came in slow waves on my forearm, and I watched the clouds of white drift away into the cool night air. I lifted my other hand to rest it over my mouth as he pressed his forehead to my open palm. "Thank you," he whispered, "for your forgiveness."

I carefully broke my hand from his and combed my fingers through his hairline, slowly dragging it back down to rest on his cheek. "You're so sweet." I hummed. "How could anyone think you were a monster?"

Ivan closed his eyes and his smile slowly drifted into a frown. "I pray you never have to find out..."

I rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone, observing how it had filled in the past few weeks. Ivan had been eating regularly now, and with extra nutrients he's become much more than just skin and bone. I was thankful. It was almost as if even after death, his metabolism still worked to keep him healthy. "You're becoming more and more real by the day, Ivan." I murmured.

His eyes fluttered open, and he gave me a questioning look. "Real?" He questioned.

I gave a little hum. "My chilled brains are so slow with recovery; I still dream of days when I knew not of the name Ivan. But I am glad to wake up in the morning and be reminded that even with my stubborn brother, I still have someone to call my friend."

Ivan's eyebrows suddenly lowered with concern. "Madeline..." He reached up to touch my face. "You promised you would not cry... When you cry, I am unable to make you happy again..." His thumb rubbed over my cheek. "And when you are at unease, I am as well..."

I sniffled and shook my head. "No, Ivan. I'm not crying because I am sad, I'm crying because I'm happy."

His eyebrows furrowed and he seemed more confused. "... You are crying over happiness...? Would you like for me to cry too?" He asked.

A giggle forced its way from my throat and I felt warm tears clinging to my eyelashes. "No, that's alright. Come on, let's get out of the cold. We have a whole day to catch up on, right?"

Ivan seemed to brighten up a bit, and smiled as well. "Okay."

I reached out to take his hand and we both began to walk back over to the shed where Kumajirou was patiently waiting at the door.

"You wait here, I'll go get my jacket from the cabin." I let go of his hand and held my feet firmly just outside the door. Ivan stepped inside and turned to me. His face was barely visible in the dim lighting as he drew his head forward in a nod.

"I will await your return."

I blinked in thanks and turned away to run back to the cabin. Kumajirou ran along side me through the snow, his ears flopping and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ivan stand waiting, his arm held over the door to watch me leave. The faintest wisp of a smile was alight on his face, and it made me smile too. I was glad to see that face again.

I knew I'd overreacted. Ivan was much better to me than what I'd foolishly feared. It was almost laughable. I'd been so worried. I should have known immediately that Ivan wasn't just going to leave. I laughed to myself as I neared the front door. How silly.

* * *

><p>After grabbing my jacket and returning to Ivan, I'd fitted him with a pillow and blanket from my bed so he could rest more comfortably. With all of the insulation that Alfred had packed into my own sleeping space, there was definitely enough to hand over to someone with less fortune. Ivan had been hesitant to take it, but with persistence and much convincing, I eventually got him to rest.<p>

To seal the deal, I even read him a bedtime story. To which he had immediately stopped arguing, and allowed himself to be distracted. I would have never thought that a simple child's book could have intrigued him so much. Then again, his mind had probably been set back a few years with the sheer voltage that had entered his spinal cord. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the look of pure joy on his face. Ivan wanted to see the pictures, and I allowed him to absorb each page before turning onto the next.

Reading the book over even brought back some nostalgia from my childhood. It had been a mostly French nursery rhyme that my father had read to me and my brother as we sat on his knee. For Ivan's benefit, I translated what I could so he'd understand. I'm glad I decided to bring such a memento on my trip after all.

Now he'd settled down, and was currently leaning up against the wall, while Kumajirou cuddled up to me. I could hear the gentle inhaling and soft snoring coming from the bundle of blankets across from me. He was definitely comfortable, even if he wouldn't admit it.

I glanced down to my notebook resting on my thighs, as I pulled my knees towards my chest. After our meeting, and my generally uneventful day, I didn't feel much like sleeping. Hanging out with Ivan sounded like more fun than keeping a lantern by my bedside.

I held my pen between my forefinger and thumb, pressing it against the blank page. It had been so long since the last time I'd taken any notes, and Yao wouldn't appreciate his student bringing back an empty notebook. Especially if that apprentice was a woman that he'd allowed the privilege of apprenticeship in the first place. I sighed heavily and rested my head in my hands. But there was virtually nothing to write about...

I glanced back over to Ivan and had an idea. Perhaps I would write about my ongoing experience? That was the main point for taking these notes.

I felt a faint blush crawl up my cheeks as I thought back to a few weeks ago. My visions had definitely changed a lot in the short amount of time we've known each other. Ivan had become more than just a tale or a warning, and more of a man than I could have ever expected.

I picked up my pen again and pressed it against the page, thinking of how I might begin my entry. Alas, a long moment passed, and my mind failed to form anything.

"Madeline?" Ivan's voice suddenly inquired, startling me.

"Oh!" My pen slipped from my fingers, and a blotch of ink stained the page below. I looked up to find Ivan's eyes staring intently at me from across the room. A frown sat on his lips, forcing me to feel a little down.

"What is it, Ivan? Is something the matter?" I asked, neatly setting my notebook to the side.

His eyes flicked down to the floor at his side and he balled up his blankets. "... I am not sleeping so well..." He murmured, barely audible as he covered his mouth with his scarf.

My eyebrows slowly lifted and I stood up to make my way over. Understanding settled in my mind for a moment as I neared, and a gentle smile rested on my lips. I knelt down beside his head. "Are you warm enough? I could get you some more sheets if that's what is bothering you." I offered.

He shook his head. "No, I am very warm, thank you... but... I still am unable to sleep."

I rested my hands on my knees and tilted my head. "What would you like me to do? Is your pillow too soft or too hard?"

Ivan shook his head again. "No, thank you." His eyes traveled back towards my face. "Would you mind... er... staying a little longer? I-I mean just for tonight?" He asked. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to protest. Alfred would be furious!

"I-It would make me feel much safer..." Ivan admitted. "B-but if you don't want to-"

"Of course I will, Ivan." I stated finally, allowing my expression to relax. A smile toyed at my lips and I rested a hand over his arm. "As long as you need."

He snaked one arm out from under the blanket to cover his yawn. "Thank you." Ivan said, his eyes slowly closing once again. A smile worked its way onto his face in the process, and I resisted the urge to giggle. He was adorable, almost like a child.

Kumajirou's claws clicked on the ground as he came over to join us, and I reached out to pet him. I guess I'll be the one holding watch tonight, if only until he was completely asleep.

It wasn't until the break of dawn that I decided to slip back out, leaving Ivan sprawled out across the ground with a content smile on his face. I rather enjoyed the little smiles he spared. They seemed to be growing less and less rare by the day.


	18. Love in Every Stitch

"Come on Ivan! It's perfect outdoors!" Madeline enthused, tugging roughly on my arm.

I tried to rub my eyes free from sleep as I ungracefully stumbled into a world of light. My eyes immediately burned from the harsh sun and I quickly tried to cover them. "It's bright!" I gasped.

She giggled. "The sun is finally out now! The snow is melting!" Madeline cheered, swinging my arm.

I blinked my eyes a few times and yawned. "Is it spring already?" It took me a moment to adjust to the intense lighting, but once I had, I was taken aback. It had felt like forever ever since the last time I've seen everything so rejuvenated. Even if we were a bit early for the leaves and flower buds, I could still smell the thick aroma of life in the air. My eyes widened and I drank up the sky.

Blue, as far as the eye could see. Puffy white clouds dotted the sky, rather than their usual gloomy counterparts. I felt a smile come to my face and I inhaled deeply. "Oh! The sun feels so good! I can smell the sweet scent of spring!"

Madeline giggled again and I felt her arms wrap around my waist. I tore my eyes from the beautiful sky to land on an even more enchanting phenomenon. A smile came to my face and I returned the hug with careful arms. Hugs were always welcome, especially ones so warm. Her skin felt so soft against my own, and it was so full of color. I could feel my chest swell with joy and a chuckle burst its way forward.

She drifted back after a moment and gave me one of her most lovely smiles. I couldn't help but feel myself mimic the simple gesture.

"I have a surprise for you as well, if you'd like to go see it." Madeline tilted her head in the direction of what I assumed to be the surprise.

A little trill of excitement trickled up my spine. I glanced in the same direction, and back at her. "A surprise?"

She nodded. "Would you like to see it?"

I completely forgot about how breathtaking the weather was and focused on the lure of her words. "Sure." I shrugged, struggling to force back the wide smile that had broken free from my grasp.

Madeline clapped her hands together and quickly took my hand again. "Come on, I'll show you!"

I let out a surprised sound as I was dragged forward again by her excited grasp. My feet almost tripped as I tried to gain my footing again. She was so fast! It was safe to assume that she was just as excited as I.

We rounded the back of the shed and came to a stop when something large and metal came into view. My eyebrows lifted, and my jaw parted. It was the most peculiar object, almost like a large bucket or bowl. I looked to Madeline questioningly.

She stepped over to it, gesturing for me to accompany her. I was hesitant as I stared at it in uncertainty. A thin cloud of mist drew upwards from the surface, and its body dipped low into the shape of a large gravy boat. What in the world was this contraption?

"Come on, it's alright. I won't splash you or anything." Madeline giggled.

I slowly strode over, my eyes flicking from the object to her. "Is this the surprise?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yep, I had Gilbert help me fill it up with hot water." Her hands were neatly wrapped around the edge as I gazed inside.

To my surprise, there was a whole pool of water inside, and it gave off a faint wave of heat. I blinked my eyes a few times and glanced away from my reflection. -It had become a habit of mine. "What is it?" I asked.

Madeline hummed. "It's a bathtub. I thought that a nice hot bath would feel good after a long dreary winter. I know I usually take them in the spring to unwind."

I felt a little stab of fear penetrate my chest. "A... bath?" My eyes traveled back over to the water and I clenched my teeth. Water had become something I feared, not only for its reflective properties, but also the agitation with my neck bolts. Whenever it rained, I would have to cover them up, and when I dove into the lake I'd ignored it the best I could, as my first priority had been to keep her warm. My feelings towards water were the same as that of a house cat.

I felt Madeline's fingers brush my forearm and I turned back to her. She gave me a concerned frown. "Do you not like it?"

Another pang penetrated my flesh, only deeper this time. I scrambled to undo it. "N-no! Of course I love it! How very kind of you to draw me a bath." I forced my lips upward.

She stared at me for a long moment. "What's wrong with it?"

I shook my head. "Nothing! It's perfect!"

Madeline raised a brow and tilted her head. "You can tell me if there's something you'd like for me to change. I don't mind."

I reached out to take her hand and rested my other hand over it. "There is no need. Thank you. This is very thoughtful of you." I felt the familiar crawl of a blush on my cheeks. Lying hurt worse.

But the sight of joy returning to her face wiped it away. "Would you like to get in? I can go retrieve you some soap to clean up." She offered.

I felt my skin begin to crawl with discomfort. "E-eh... I don't know..." I glanced back to the water.

"I'll give you some privacy. If you need anything, I'll be just within earshot, alright?" She rested her hand on my shoulder, and I looked back over. Madeline was only trying to do something nice. I should just suck it up and accept it.

I smiled back to her, and nodded. "Thank you."

She hummed. "You're very welcome. When you're ready, I'll have some towels for you to dry off."

"Okay."

Madeline drifted away, leaving me and the 'bathtub' alone. I gazed down at it and released a heavy sigh. It seemed now that I hadn't a choice in the matter. I closed my eyes and thought back to how excited she had been when she'd unveiled her surprise. She would be expecting me to accept this offering. I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself down. It was just water. _Just water. Water won't hurt me as long as I keep myself clothed, and my bolts covered._

It took me a long moment to unearth my grounded feet and I nudged myself against the side of the tub. The heat radiated from the water and breathed against my skin like the gaping maw of an animal. I felt uncomfortable trills run up and down my spine. With some hesitation, I teased at the water with my hand, swirling the surface into a weak current. The ripples blurred my reflection, and the hot water seemed to loosen the tension in my stiff joints. I immediately felt the need to relieve the rest of my body from the cold.

I lifted my leg over the side and rested it down to the bottom. My eyebrows lifted in surprise, and I smiled meekly. The warmth was divine. I carefully lifted my other leg, bracing my hands on either side of the tub to keep myself steady. A relieved sigh burst forth from my lungs, and I slowly dipped into the water. The heat wrapped around me like a blanket, and cradled my stiff bones. I could feel my cheeks flush, and I smiled. This felt amazing. Now if I could just keep myself from being electrocuted, I would be fine.

The air outside of my bath was much colder, and chilled the tips of my ears, and nipped at my nose. I stared down at the bottom of the tub, where my limps looked distorted by the water's surface. This wasn't so bad, I was thankful for the gift. I smiled and laughed, drifting my hand around like a fish beneath in the water. This was much better than any lake or river I'd swam in before, the water was clear and wasn't numbing with cold.

I rested my arms on either side of the tub and glanced up to the sky. There was something especially calming about this moment. The trees whistled as they were tossed back and forth by the spring breeze, and the clouds drifted by sluggishly to an unknown destination. I could hear the sounds of nature awakening all around me. The snow birds had been replaced with their spring counterparts, and insects buzzed in all directions. Soon, flowers would bloom and the ice would melt in the summer, giving way to velvet grass. Just the thought of the soft grass in between my toes sent a pleasant chill up my spine. I took a deep breath and held it for a moment, before exhaling. Even the crisp scent of winter was beginning to be lifted and replaced with the sharp smell of growth. I closed my eyes and allowed my muscles to relax and loosen with the water's aid.

"I'm back with some soap and a towel!" Madeline called from behind my back as she returned. I tilted my head all the way back over the lip of the tub to view her, the trees flipping upside down along with he rest of the world. Her smiling face stared back as she set down the towel and a cream bar of soap. I rotated my head right-side up as she came around to my side. Her eyes ran over my body and she cocked a brow. "You do know that you aren't supposed to keep your clothes on in the bath, right?"

I blinked a few times and glanced down at myself. "...Oh... really?" Embarrassment warmed my face further, and I looked back up to her. "Er... these are my only clothes..." I didn't really feel comfortable undressing myself, especially with company such as her. I'd only done it a few times and only under severe conditions when it was necessary.

Her response was unexpected as her mood hadn't wavered for even a second. "That's why I took it upon myself to make you some in my spare time." She said.

I felt a wave of heat overwhelm my body, adding to the external source. My mouth dropped a little and I stared at her in surprise. Of course I knew she was one to gift me with so many valuable things, but clothes? I've never even considered the thought...

Madeline giggled and pushed the bottom of my jaw closed again. "I know what you're going to say, but I insist. Your clothes are all battered and torn from overuse, and with the new season, you should start wearing cleaner clothing."

I craned my neck in an attempt to hide the lower half of my face. She was so kind, it's a surprise she hasn't killed me with it yet. "Th-thank you..."

She released my chin and reached over for my scarf tails. "I've started another one of these for you as well. This poor thing's seen much better days."

I felt a sharp sting in my throat as it closed up. She began to unwrap the coils, and I arched my back a bit. My hand shot up to my throat as she removed it much too quick for me to catch up. The cold air slapped against my bare skin and I released a harsh gasp. It felt as if the air had been pulled from my lungs, and I was being constricted. My body was momentarily paralyzed as I fought to contain my fear.

"Oh my! Ivan, you never told me that your stitches were pulling around your neck as well!" Madeline's voice pulled me away from what ever terrible scene which had entrapped me, and I regained feeling once again. My eyes flicked up to her quickly and I blinked a few times to regain my senses.

"Hmm?"

Madeline's indigo eyes were focused below my jawline, and her lips rested in a calm frown. "How long have they been pulled?" She asked.

A sudden remembrance hit me and I felt a pang of panic. She was never supposed to find out about that.

With my inability to respond for a few moments too long, she took it upon herself to reach out and feel it. My heart skipped a beat as I felt her gentle touch rub over my skin, teasing at the scarring tissue on either divide of the sutures. She tisked and her fingers left my skin. I shuddered.

"Well, I'll just have to sew it up later." She said nonchalantly. "Is there anywhere else I'll have to repair?"

I glanced down at myself numbly, not really thinking about her question. "...No... not that I know of..." I murmured.

Fear had gripped me in its sharp claws as I stared down at the once very calming water. My bolts were exposed to the elements, and just a single drop of water could invoke an electrical response.

Madeline extended her arms out. "Alright then, let's get you out of your shirt."

I was a little scared at the mention of it, but as her fingers glided down to my hips, and she began to pull the shirt up, I felt calmed somehow. She was so careful as she rolled it up to my underarms, and I raised my hands up to help her. My breathing slowed and the freshly exposed skin felt alien in the water. She pulled the shirt free from my head, showing caution around the base of my neck as I'd hoped she would. I felt my body relax once again as the trust I had allowed in her resurfaced. She wouldn't hurt me on purpose.

I gazed down at myself while she set down my shirt, frowning. It had been a while since I'd seen all of my scars and stitches that littered my chest and abdomen. Bullet wounds dotted a few areas, some still containing metal that I couldn't remove. The stitches that Madeline had sewn back up looked to be the healthiest out of the rest. Right above it, however, there was a long thick line in the center that ran all the way up to my collar bone, and it was full of thick, almost rope-like thread. A chill ran down my spine when I rehearsed the pages of Arthur's journal in my head. He'd run out of thinner thread while putting the rest of my body together and had to make due with what he had to sew up the gaping hole he'd created in my chest. I shuddered and glanced away. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea.

"I'll help you wash up your chest and back, and then you can tend to the rest, alright?" Madeline asked, pulling my attention away. My eyes flicked up to her and I nodded. Truthfully, I had no idea how to even get started, I'd hoped she would offer to help a bit.

"Alright." I responded.

Madeline held one hand on the side of the tub as she reached down for the bar of soap and came back up. She was smiling again, and I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit better. Madeline dipped her hands into the water and scrubbed the soap between her palms, creating a bubbly white foam. I tilted my head as I watched the strange phenomenon, anticipating what happened next.

She set the soap down and reached out for my arm. I lifted it for her, and she began to rub the foam over my skin. My eyebrows lifted, and my blush intensified. She carefully ran her hand over my bicep and rubbed up to my shoulder. Her touch felt a little odd, as I'd never had anyone else rub my skin so gently; it was very soothing.

Madeline began to talk to me again, and I found myself distracted from what was going on. She told me about the times where her brother had bathed with her when they were children. Alfred sounded much cuter as a child than as an adult. It would have been interesting to meet him then rather than now. But my respect for him was something I kept a secret. Alfred may be a rotten hunter with his only purpose to bring pain and death, but at least he still had the sanctity to take care of his little sister. From what Madeline told me, he had been responsible for her ever since they were eight and eleven years old. Even at that age, they had seen more than me in the four years of my life.

Madeline guided her hands from either one of my arms down to my chest. That was when my thoughts were interrupted, and I sucked in a sharp breath. My eyes shot down to where her hands lie over my right breast. She rubbed her thumb over one of the bullet holes left there, scrubbing at the knot left behind by the scar tissue. My heart beat hard against my ribs; I hoped that she wouldn't be able to feel it.

"You've a lot of bullet wounds..." Madeline's voice took the words right from my conscious as she wondered aloud.

I took a shaky breath and released it while she created more suds. I kept my eyes locked on my knees, trying not to imagine the sudden explosion of a gun and the acrid odor of gunpowder.

She guided her hand back over, resting it momentarily above the deep incision left in the center of my chest. It was a surreal sensation and brought forth a wave of numbness. The sensation was awfully familiar; I could see a man standing over me, eyes wild and expression unreadable. I forced the images from my mind and back to the darkest depths of my subconscious.

Madeline scrubbed me over, and asked for me to sit up so she could clean my back as well. Now that I had become desensitized to it, I was quick to obey. The tub was a little cramped as I scrunched up my knees to my chest.

Her hand glided down my spine, and I felt waves of discomfort flow through my body. "Too gentle." I croaked, my throat tightening.

Madeline took her hand away immediately and turned to look me in the face. "Hmm?"

I pushed my my eyebrows together and frowned. "You're being too delicate."

Her eyes seemed to soften with realization. "Oh! You want me to press harder?" She asked.

I nodded my head. "Please."

She smiled. "Alright, I think I can do that."

A long pause followed before I felt her hands working on my back again. This time, I felt a rush of tranquility spread from it. That felt much better. A smile came to my face again, and I let out a long audible sigh of relief. Her hands rubbed over the notches of my spine in a rhythmic motion that felt like a cat kneading its bed. Little pops came from my spine, and I allowed my shoulders to relax. Even simple tasks such as breathing felt as light as a feather.

"Does that feel better?" I heard Madeline ask.

Without a moment of hesitation, I bobbled my head up and down. "It feels great."

She giggled, rubbing my shoulders now. "Good."

* * *

><p>I assured her that I would take care of my neck and head after she finished up, and Madeline kindly allowed me my privacy. Once I was sure she had left, I slipped off my pants and mimicked what she had done to clean up my arms and chest. Of course the sensations that were accompanied with her touch were exclusive to her only, as my own rough palms felt rather monotonous in comparison. I finished up, and sat in the water for a little while longer, before it began to lose its warmth. All in all, that was actually pretty nice, and I hadn't been harmed in the process, so that was always a good thing. Now all I had to do was somehow get into some better clothes...<p>

I glanced momentarily over my shoulder to make sure no one was dropping in, and braced my arms over the sides of the tub. The cool air chilled my wet skin as I stepped out of the water and onto the mixture of slush and soil below. I shuddered and quickly swiped up the towel Madeline had left me to dry off. I vigorously ran it all over myself, my teeth chattering loudly. Before I could completely finish up, I felt something warm and furry brush up against my legs. I froze momentarily and glanced downwards in surprise.

Kumajirou's tail whipped around happily as he greeted me with a hearty hello. His wet nose rubbed up against my thigh and I felt a chill wrack my body. It was slimy. "Shoo, Kumajirou, I must dry off!" I gestured with my hand for him to venture away.

The sound of footsteps on the path behind me met my ears, and I stiffened.

"Kumajirou come back here! Ivan is still in the bath, you'll have to wait your turn!"

My eyes widened with horror, and I quickly wrapped the towel around my hips to cover my more sensitive regions. Kumajirou brushed past again and I turned around to face the newcomer.

Madeline bent down to pet Kumajirou, her cheeks a lovely rose color from the chilled air. I opened my mouth to say something, but my throat had dried up at the most unfortunate times.

As if she had heard my silent plea, Madeline tipped her head back up. "Oh. You're finished."

My eyes traced away and I slumped my back in bashfulness. Well, this was dreadfully awkward. I nodded my head, still unable to produce coherent words. Her hand drew over to mine, and she gave it a comforting squeeze. "Well, then. Let's get you into some clothes, shall we?"

Kumajirou skipped alongside us as she escorted me back to the shed, much slower than the last time. I ducked to enter through the door as I usually did, and glanced around. My eyebrows raised with surprise and I looked over to her. "You cleaned it all up?"

Madeline turned to one of the shelves and reached up to retrieve something. "Of course! It was getting stuffy in here, and I thought that some spring cleaning was in order!" She let out a little hum of satisfaction and brought down a stack of cloth. "So I sent you out to take a bath and get all fresh and clean while I took care of things in here."

I watched her closely, keeping my hands wrapped firmly on the towel around my hips. She extended out the clothes as an offering towards me. "Here, I tailored them as close I could get to your size. But if you find any problems I'll be happy to perform a little repair."

I nodded, my eyes still glued on the foreign object. She forced the stack into my arms suddenly and hurried over to the back. "Oh! That reminds me! Speaking of repairs..."

She rummaged through her bag for a long moment before coming back over. "Before you get into those, I have to fix up your stitches."

I clenched my teeth suddenly and felt my stomach become ill. That was something I'd hoped she had forgotten about. "E-eh... Alright..." I murmured, not trying to insult her.

Madeline threaded a needle with her special thin black string and she motioned for me to come over. She sat down on her bottom and crossed her legs to the side. "Come over now, don't be shy."

I was hesitant for a minute and avoided her gaze; my feet were so very eager to obey her. My body beckoned for me to come into contact with her, and I allowed it.

More chills ran down my spine when I felt her soft fingers rub over my scarred flesh. _She's done this before, remember, she's gentle._ I repressed the urge to twitch and cringe away as I felt the cool metal bore beneath my skin. She repaired one of the patches of stitches on my back where I couldn't reach. Seconds ticked by, much longer than they should have, before I heard the little snap of the string and the pressure ceased. I released a low sigh, trying my best not to make it obvious.

"Hmm..." Madeline made a pondering sound.

I twisted my head to the side to see her expression. "What's wrong?"

She slowly smiled and I leaned her head out of my view. I was left for a moment to worry, before I gasped. Madeline placed a soft kiss over the area she had sewn shut and gave a little giggle. "Much better!"

I felt my skin grow hot like a kettle and I turned around. "W-what was that for?"

Her eyes were creased with how large her smile stretched, and her expression radiated warmth like the sun. "When I was younger, Alfred would always kiss my cuts and scrapes to make them feel better. I just thought that maybe it would work for you too."

I swallowed my surprise and eased myself again. It _had_ felt a little better afterwards... "Thank you..." I nodded my head as to apologize for my sudden response.

Madeline pet my shoulder. "You're welcome. Now turn around, I found a few more on you." She gently nudged me in the right direction, and I shifted my position so that I was sitting almost eye to eye with her. Her beautiful eyes ran over my body in search of loose sutures. It only took a moment before she reached out to grab my wrist and held it up. "Ah, there's one." She threaded her needle again.

I watched her work this time, captivated by her abilities. She worked fast, much faster than I at sewing my wounds shut. Her precision was impeccable, and her care enthralling. After she was finished, she brought my hand up to kiss it as well. I blushed and allowed her to do as she pleased. "This is... embarrassing..." I muttered under my breath.

Madeline set my arm back down on my lap and tilted her head. "Why are you embarrassed? ... Is it the kisses?" Her lips rested downward.

I shook my head and fidgeted. "N-no... I am just... unfamiliar with your gestures." My skin crawled with discomfort.

She lowered her gaze. "Okay. I can stop if you'd like me to."

I took in a deep breath and held it momentarily as I tried to decide how I felt. "No, that's alright." A ball had formed in my throat again, like a mischievous creature stealing my speech. "I-I kind of... enjoy it..." I choked out.

Madeline's face lightened up at that, and she laughed. "Would you like for me to continue?" She asked.

I nodded my head, turning my attention onto the floor beneath us. "Please."

"Alright then, tip your head back up for me." Madeline's fingertips brushed over my jawline, and I reluctantly obeyed. I closed my eyes and thought back to the dream I had experienced many moons ago. Was she actually going to remove my head? In the living world that was surely a death sentence.

My heart skipped for a moment when I remembered everything that had played out. She was putting me back together... I was now in her hands. An accidental slip of the needle, a strike of insanity, even an innocent sneeze, could possess her hands and shorten my life.

Her tiny hands were steady and swift; by the time I had finished my maddened reel, she'd already finished. Madeline bit off the thread and backed away to look up at my face. However, this wound she hadn't kissed like the others. A part of me sighed with relief while another was just glad to be released. I dropped my head back down in a sluggish motion, making sure to keep everything in place. My eyes drifted along to hers and I swallowed thickly.

"Does that feel alright?" She questioned.

I blinked once, twice, and then finally produced a smile. "Much better."

Madeline did it again. That little thing I always loved. She made a small sound, almost like a bird's chirp, but also somewhat like a hum. It made my insides all fuzzy and warm. I tried to mimic it a bit, creating my own deeper note in response. We were almost like birds having a conversation.

Her face lit up and she laughed. That was another sound I held dear. Laughter... and not only laughter, but friendly laughter. She wasn't malicious or teasing, it was an inviting gesture. I closed my eyes and laughed too.

We shared a moment; _our_ moment, before she arose. I stood up as well, keeping the towel secured around myself. "I must be going soon, Alfred and Gilbert will be expecting me back to make them a midday meal. I'll come back tonight as always, alright?" She was patting Kumajirou's head when she glanced up to me.

This was how our meetings ended now. She assured me every time that she would come back, and made sure to keep to her word. Although now I was always sure she was coming to see me, even if she didn't say it. I always knew she'd come. I felt safe with her, and I trusted her.

"Of course. Good day." I smiled calmly with a wave of my hand.

Madeline waved back to me and hurried out the door, leaving it open for me to see outdoors. I watched her go, as I always did. The frills of her dress fluttered about gently in the breeze along with her golden locks which reflected the sunlight perfectly. Spring had brought color to her skin, along with the rest of th world. I think now I've found my favorite part of the season.

I turned around and stopped myself. Kumajirou was staring at me, panting and glancing between me and the door. He was giving me _'that'_ look. I was still red from a few minutes ago. He was just a dog, but I still had a feeling that he knew what was at work in my mind. I'd grown too fond of my desires, and allowed them to flow through me without protest.

"Don't look at me like that." I scolded.

Kumajirou's mouth shut, but I could still see the little twinkle in his charcoal eyes that he was laughing at me on the inside.

I should be laughing too, but my mind was onto other things.

* * *

><p>Alfred and Gilbert were happy to see me again as I entered the cabin. It seemed as though the seasonal depression had been lifted from them as well. At this point, I could already guess that Alfred knew where I was running off to almost three times a day. He had grown to ignore what my business was, and became more interested in his casual hunting. Alfred was making plans for a hunting trip with Gilbert when I came inside.<p>

They greeted me with smiles and I waved before getting started on their meal. I took out some raw vegetables and some spices to create some sort of a stew. As I cut everything up and pulled out an iron pot to put it all together, my mind began to slip away. I thought about petty things that happened from day to day, but I also consumed my time with daydreaming. Lately my mind has been so unorganized, that I just simply slip away for a bit. It wasn't bad, but I couldn't say it was a good thing either. The dreams were of course occupied with my friends and family, even a few of my books, but the downside was my loss of focus. Even when I was helping Ivan bathe and when I sutured up his stitches I'd become lost. It was only by sheer luck that nothing happened to poor Ivan. That would have been awful if I'd stuck him with the needle or ripped anything on accident.

I went outside to fill the pot with water from the well and set it over the stove. Alfred shuffled his chair over for me to better fit in the one beside him, and he pushed it in for me after sitting down. "How's your day, Maddie?" He inquired.

I set my hands on my lap and glanced over to the book Gilbert had opened up in front of himself. They seemed to have been chatting before I came over. I liked this quiet atmosphere. "It's been alright, just taking care of what I must."

Alfred wrapped an arm over my shoulders and gave me a hug. "I'm glad you've got everything done. You know how I worry."

I gave him a little smirk and narrowed my eyes. "Weren't you the one who told me not to worry myself sick?"

Alfred's eyebrow twitched and he laughed awkwardly. "Now, now. I'm your older brother. I have to protect you!"

I smiled and leaned my head over into his side as a sign of affection. "I know, I was just fooling with you."

He let out a short breath of relief. "You'll drive a man mad with all of your joking around. I feel bad for your future husband." Alfred laughed.

My face burned with embarrassment and I furrowed my brows. "What is that supposed to mean!?"

Gilbert joined in the humorous chuckling. "He's just complaining because he's never had a woman to hang around his arm!"

Alfred narrowed his eyes. "You little-"

I giggled and rubbed his back comfortingly. "That's not true, Gilbert. He has me, right?"

Alfred's shoulders sagged and he glanced over. "Maddie, Gilbert's being mean to me!" He whined.

I laughed even harder, and my body shook. "You guys, play nice!"

"I don't see you with a woman either, Gilbert. Where is she? In a bar back in Germany?" Alfred struck like a cobra, but his fangs didn't seem to seep too far into Gilbert's thick skin.

"We've got to go to the pub sometime, we'll find plenty of maidens who'd enjoy a nice roll in the hay." His voice rolled like a purr.

My face twisted with disgust and I felt sick to my stomach. "That's disgusting Gilbert! Wash your mouth out!"

Alfred's laughter drowned out my statement. "I don't know, Gil. German girls are kind of scary."

"Wha-!?"

"Alright boys, that's enough! This is an awful topic while I'm around! You're going to drool all over the table cloth, or worse. Leave this kind of conversation for when I'm not around, if you'd please?" I pushed my chair out. It was time I checked on our meal anyway.

Alfred turned to me with his lower lip jutting out. "I'm sorry, Maddie. We were only having a little fun."

I held my hand out as I turned to leave. "Have your fun after our meal, alright?"

Gilbert's ruby gaze bore into my back as I left and I felt an uncomfortable chill run down my spine. I tended to the pot and stirred the spices in and listened as Alfred scolded Gilbert. A smile came to my face when I heard the loud crack of his hand striking the hooligan's head.

* * *

><p>I ate along with them at the table and chatted for a bit before finally setting out again. This time I knew for sure that Alfred was consiouss of where I -was going off to, because he'd been watching when I made an extra serving of food. I was just about to step out when he patted my back strongly.<p>

I almost jumped when I felt the movement and tried to keep my hands steady. "Woa! A-Al!?"

He stared at me for a long moment, before a small smile pulled on his lips. Alfred's eyes told me to be cautious, but his expression assured me that he wasn't mad. It took me a moment to gain my breath back before I stumbled to say something.

"Be careful, alright?" He stated, his deep blue eyes fondly peering into my own.

I nodded, trying to keep my shaking at bay. "Y-yes, of course."

He backed off like a shadow, almost as mysterious as he'd appeared. I watched him for a moment before I heard him shout at Gilbert again. My heart jumped with uncertainty. That was very, very, uncharacteristic of him. I would keep my eyes pealed.

I took a deep breath and sighed before stepping outside to journey back to my friends.

When I opened the door Kumajirou ran past me, almost knocking me over. "Whoa! Kuma be careful!" I shouted. "Oh!" I felt a pair of arms wrap around my own, holding me steady.

"Sorry, he was excited to go back outdoors." Ivan stepped into the late afternoon sun, allowing me to view his new attire.

I couldn't help the trill of excitement that ran up my spine. The sweater I'd made for him fit perfectly, and he didn't seem to have any trouble moving his arms as far as I could tell. A smile came to my face and I looked up to his. "Does it fit?" I asked.

He nodded and guided me inside. "It does fit very well, thank you."

I looked down to the pants; they had been one of my bigger concerns. Fortunately, they seemed long enough for his disproportionately lengthy legs. "You're welcome."

I carefully handed him the bowl I'd been desperately trying to keep steady. He took it and set it down on the ground. We sat down beside each other, and I rested my back on the wall. The first thing I noticed was the fresh scent that came off of him, and I hummed happily. No offense to him, but after a few years without a bath anyone would begin to smell a little bad. Especially when he'd been a corpse beforehand. He reached down for the spoon and tried some of the stew I'd prepared. I couldn't help but smile as he completed the task with little to no problem. Ivan had learned well after I helped him with his dining etiquette.

My eyes skimmed back up to his face and I curiously reached up to pet his curled beige hair. It was softer without all of the grit and grime it had collected over time. I was glad to see that he was now healthier, it looked better on him. It took me a moment to realize that his eyes had turned onto me, and he'd stopped eating. I quickly retracted my hand after getting caught. "Oh! It's... um... it's soft."

Ivan set his spoon down and reached out to entangle his fingers in my own hair. He brushed it carefully between his fingers and returned his hand to his lap. "Yours is beautiful."

I giggled, trying to hide my flattery. "Thank you. I could easily say the same for you. It is an interesting color."

He closed his eyes and stretched his lips upward. "Thank you."

I hummed. "You're very welcome."

Ivan sat back, bringing the bowl up onto his lap to sit level with me. His eyes darted from me down to his lap and his smile rested back into a thin line. "How long can you stay?" He asked, sounding a bit hopeful.

I shrugged, remembering the little encounter between me and Alfred. "Probably until sundown, why?"

He stared down at his stew and stirred it around. "Maybe you could stay again for the night?" Ivan glanced briefly towards me before returning his eyes onto his meal. "I know it's been a while, but I'd feel much better..."

I watched him stirring his food around, thinking through the consequences. Alfred had definitely let up on his absolute hatred, perhaps staying a few extra hours wouldn't upset him. He knew I'd be careful, so what could possibly be the harm? I shrugged. "Sure, Ivan. Why not?"

A little spark lit on his face, and it was a pleasure watching it manifest into a grin. His eyes seemed to gleam with joy, and I smiled as well. Ivan was so adorable; who couldn't resist pinching his cheeks? Perhaps quite a lot of people... but I certainly wasn't one of them.

As promised, I stayed by his side through nightfall. I lit the lantern that I'd left on one of the shelves from one of my previous visits to avoid having to go back and forth from the cabin and here. Ivan lied down onto his stomach and watched me write in my journal a few feet away. His eyes moved along with each stroke of my pen, and he began to hum. The tune was purely improvised, as it almost always was, but I found myself joining in. I scribbled down random doodles on my page, becoming rather uninterested in taking any more notes for the day.

I knew it was beginning to get late as my mind had entered a lull-like state. The paper below blurred and the ink danced and swirled into unintelligible images. Ivan's voice was a faint buzz in my peripheral hearing, hushing me to sleep. I fought the urge to curl up and allow my mind to be taken away. Ivan wouldn't appreciate me sleeping right in the middle of our conversation.

"Madeline, if you're tired you can go sleep. I'll be alright now." Ivan whispered, somewhat in concern.

I blinked my eyes rapidly to keep them open, watching as images floated around in my head. "N-no, I'll be alright. I'll just..." My eyes began to close again, shutting the world from sight.

"Here, get under the blankets." I heard Ivan situate himself, and forced my eyes open a bit.

It did look comfortable...

I set my journal to the side and crawled forward. Ivan gave me some room and held up the blankets for me to creep underneath. I couldn't suppress the sigh of content that forced itself forward as I was enveloped in warmth. It wasn't as comfortable as my bed, but by god did it feel great when I was too tired to keep my eyes open. Ivan turned over to face away from me and kept his distance. "Good night, Madeline." He muttered.

I nodded my head against my side of the pillow. "Mmhmm."

Ivan blew out the lantern and darkness filled the room once again. I snuggled myself inward to get closer to him. He seemed to be radiating heat like a fire. Fortunately, he did not move when my forehead made contact with his upper back and I fell sleep without protest.


	19. Sickness of The Heart

I woke up that morning with a sore crook in my back and a heavy arm resting just below my breasts. In my first waking moments, I had flashbacks to the days I'd been traveling with Ivan when I'd have similar mornings. Except now, I wasn't greeted with the promise of sunlight; there was only unnatural darkness.

My eyes fluttered open, and I slowly began to gain my bearings again. The arm draped over me felt like dead weight, but it didn't clutch me or crush me as I'd assumed it would. It wasn't long before I realized where I was. I felt the warmth of the person beside me enveloping my body as they held me close. Their legs were entangled with my own, and their presence was all around overwhelming.

My eyes widened when I realized that I'd fallen asleep with him the previous night instead of going back to my own bed. "Oh, oh no!" I gasped. "Alfred's going to kill me!" I tried to wriggle my way from under Ivan's arm, when I heard him groan.

"Hmmm~ Good morning, Madeline." His voice chimed huskily.

I froze as he brushed his cheek against my own, cuddling closer. "You are so warm." He whispered.

I bit my lip and tried to calm my racing thoughts. My eyes traveled towards the door, where I found a weak line of light that dripped beneath the door. It was definitely waking hours. If not already, Alfred would be up soon. On the other hand... it felt so nice just to stay here cuddled up against Ivan. It almost broke my heart that I had to leave. "I-I apologize, Ivan, but I must get going. Alfred will be expecting me." I whispered as lightly as possible.

It took a moment, but his arms eventually retracted, and he gave me some space. "Oh! I'm sorry, Madeline! Please, don't let me keep you!"

I felt colder as I crawled out from under the covers, frowning with disappointment. "That's alright, Ivan. No need to be sorry. I just have to get back before-"

I hissed and quickly drew my hands to my face as the shed was suddenly enveloped in a harsh light. Ivan squirmed as well and I slumped back into the pile of blankets, dazed.

"Woah, sorry to interrupt. I can come back at a better time."

I heard the shrill voice of my brother's _very_ annoying companion intervene. Anger rose up inside me and I uncovered my eyes to help adjust to the lighting. "Gilbert! You twit!"

He laughed and I saw Kumajirou brush past him to join us. "Your dog woke me up with his scratching and pacing around the door. I noticed you weren't in bed, so I assumed you were out here with your friend." His eyes gleamed with mischief. "Although, I didn't know that you'd slept with him."

My face blew up with color and I pinched my eyebrows together with frustration. "Shut your trap! We didn't do anything of the sort!"

"E-er... she was tired. I offered for her to stay yesterday so she wouldn't have to go all the way back." Ivan elucidated my point.

Gilbert lifted a brow and smirked. "Ah, so you did sleep?"

If my face could get redder it surely would have. I balled up my fists and stabbed my finger in the direction of the cabin. "Go away, Gilbert!"

He snickered. "Then I shall leave you two alone~" Gilbert turned on his heal and eased the door shut again.

I crossed my arms and tapped a finger on my arm with impatience. "Gilbert, I know you're still there!"

He scuffled his boots outside the door, clearly startled by my accusation. "Calm down, I'm going, I'm going!"

I waited several seconds for his footsteps to trail away before sighing heavily. Ivan's arms curled around me in a hug as he sat up. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you all night." He murmured.

I rubbed over his arm with a shake of my head. "No, it's fine. I had a lovely time. Thank you."

He yawned and rested his chin on my head. "I just sleep so much better with someone around..."

I giggled at his tone; it definitely sounded like he'd slept well. But I still couldn't get Gilbert's comments out of my head. We didn't do anything we shouldn't have; it was just as Ivan said. I was tired after all.

After a few more minutes, I bid Ivan farewell and returned back to the cabin to greet my brother for the morning. Luckily for me, he was still asleep when I arrived. Although, Gilbert was waiting for me as I entered.

"Where's Al?" I glanced around in search of my older brother, feeling my nerves flickering.

Gilbert glanced up from his book at the dinning table momentarily, before returning back to it. "He's sleeping in today. Said he wasn't feeling well."

My eyebrows raised with surprise and I glanced in the direction of the bedroom. "Oh. Do you think he'll mind if I dropped in to check on him?" I hoped that it wasn't something too serious. Alfred didn't normally get bedridden.

Gilbert shrugged and closed his book to look back in my direction. "Sure, but he needs plenty of rest." He nodded his head towards the door. "He'll be very happy to see you, I'm sure."

I nodded and curtsied before making my way down the hall. It was good that he'd left out all of the awkward conversation after barging in on Ivan and I earlier.

"Al? Are you up?" I asked quietly, pushing the door in with an audible creak.

The room was as I'd left it the morning before, touched only on his side where he currently lie in bed. I could see by the disheveled order of his blankets, and the mess he'd made of his hair that he wasn't feeling comfortable. A concerned frown made its way onto my face as I approached. "Alfred?"

He slowly lifted his head to see me, his brilliant blue eyes faded and cloudy with fatigue. I could see it in his skin, he wasn't as vibrant as usual. "Hey, Maddie." His scruffy voice only furthered my suspicions. He'd definitely caught something.

I sat down on his bedside and rested my hand over his side. "How are you feeling?"

Alfred took a deep breath and sighed heavily, ending in a slight cough. "Agh, it's just a little cold... I'll probably get over it by tomorrow."

I lifted a brow, giving him an unconvinced look. "Oh? And you'll conveniently get over this just in time for your hunting trip with Gilbert? I don't think so."

"Aw, what makes you say that?"

"Woman's intuition."

He puffed out his cheeks and pouted. "If I get enough rest, I'll be just fine."

I sighed and shook my head. "Alfred."

"Come on, Maddie. Please?" Alfred whined.

"I can't let you go out, Al. You could make it worse. It's better to just stay in bed and rest until the illness has passed." I gently caressed his shoulder.

He huffed like a child. "But Gilbert and I were going to go hunting... Now's the perfect time for caribou!"

I shrugged. "Well you're just going to have to wait."

Alfred sighed and rested his head back down. "Alright..." His eyes drifted closed and he coughed into the blankets. "Could you make me some warm milk? Please?"

I smiled at that and drifted up to my feet. That was always our recipe for a sore throat; warm milk and honey. It worked every time. "You try to get some rest, and I'll have your milk here in a little while. Okay?"

He nodded his head weakly and relaxed. "Thank you."

I nodded. "No problem." With another moment's hesitation, I quietly left, leaving the door on a crack. I couldn't help but giggle as I entered the main room again. Alfred was so childish, I sometimes forgot that he was older than me.

"How is he?" Gilbert asked, glancing up to me as I passed by.

I swept past into the kitchen and retrieved a cup. "He'll survive. It's just a little cold."

"How about our hunting trip tomorrow, will he make it?"

I laughed and took out a glass bottle of milk. "I doubt that, unless you've got some fairy dust to spare." I poured some milk into a pan and reached up to one of our cupboards to check for some honey.

That got a rise out of him. "I don't know, I might have left it back home. Or maybe my little brother took the rest of it with him to England."

I measured a few spoons of honey and put the container back for a later use. "You never told me that you had English blood."

My eyes glided over to the dinning table momentarily while I set the pot on the stove. He'd turned around in his chair to rest his head on the back. His eyes were downcast as he responded. "We don't, he's just staying with my aunt and uncle for a while. They've been the only ones still in contact with me, but as of late, it's only been Ludwig who writes to me. He's only eight years of age, and as you know there isn't much they know yet when they're still so small." His eyes slowly drifted back up, but I could see that they were staring past me instead of at me. "But I miss him sometimes, you know? It's nice to hear that everything's alright where he is."

I nodded and turned back to what I was doing. That was interesting, he never told me that his brother was so young, I imagined he was a young man until now. Gilbert may be a knucklehead, but he was still human. "Perhaps when we get everything all sorted out, you'll get to visit? Maybe Alfred and I can come over too?"

Gilbert laughed, but it was a light and somehow sad sound that come out. "Maybe."

I gave him a long look before retrieving a second cup from the cupboard. "Would you like some tea?"

He looked up to me, smiling coyly. I could see in his face that he felt rather uncomfortable trailing on with the subject. "Yes, please. Danke."

I nodded and stirred the creamy mixture to make sure the honey wasn't sticking to the bottom.

* * *

><p>I hummed as I skipped back to the shed, a certain spring in my step. Alfred had been very grateful for the hot beverage, and Gilbert seemed to like his tea I made him. It was always pleasing to see happy faces.<p>

As I drew closer, I saw Ivan kneeling outside to rub Kumajirou's belly in the sunlight. I stopped walking just to observe them for a moment, basking in the sweet moment. "Who's a good boy?" Ivan giggled. "Oh, it's you! It's you!" Kumajirou rolled around in excitement, thoroughly enjoying his tummy rub.

I brought my hands together behind my back, feeling a smile burst forth on my face. My stomach felt as if it was filled with butterflies, and my cheeks reddened. I caught myself staring at them for a long moment, before I snapped myself out of it. The feeling in my stomach rolled and fluttered, making me feel suddenly sick. I swallowed hard and tried to ignore it to the best of my abilities. My eyes traced the bliss on Ivan's face and I felt obligated to step forward.

They noticed me coming and they both turned to watch me approach. Kumajirou's tongue was lying out the side of his mouth, and Ivan's eyes were soft with content. I almost found myself tripping over my feet as I gazed into them. "Oh! Watch out!"

I gasped as I overstepped, tumbling forward. Ivan caught me in his arms and carefully pushed me back to my feet. "Careful, the snow isn't completely gone yet!" He warned.

I reached up to rub my burning cheek as I regained my footing. "Oh... I... I'm sorry about that. I guess I wasn't looking."

He laughed. "That's fine." Ivan patted Kumajirou as he flipped back over to stand on his paws. "I was just coming out to see to that Kumajirou was alright."

I glanced down towards the fluffy creature to avoid Ivan's eyes. "Well, if you'd like, we can stay out here for today. Alfred won't bug us, and it is quite nice out."

"That sounds lovely! I do enjoy the sunlight~" He enthused.

A smile crept onto my face and I rubbed my thumb into my palm out of habit. It was nice with him no matter where we were. We could be up in a tree all afternoon for all I cared. He was always so polite, and somehow a bit charming... My eyes lingered off into another daydream as my subconscious took power.

Ivan took my hands into his own and pulled me back down to earth. I blinked a few times in surprise, and he tilted his head to the side. "Madeline? Are you alright? You are... acting funny today..." His eyebrows stressed with concern and I was startled.

"Oh! I-I'm fine! Why do you ask? Do... Do I seem like I'm acting strange now?" My face darkened.

His eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, no! I was just inquiring, I just thought you seemed a bit off, is all. M-my apologies."

I bit my lip nervously as I was once again reminded of the odd feeling in my stomach. The question I wanted to ask was right on the tip of my tongue. It was silent for a moment, before I spoke. "Ivan, you haven't had any strange feelings lately, have you?"

"Strange, how?"

My face grew a little warmer as my blush intensified. "Well..."

"You aren't ill, are you!?" His eyes were wider than before, and I noticed a shift in his demeanor. He squeezed my hands tightly with worry.

I swallowed the desert that had formed in my throat and thought of a good response. "No... Er... Not exactly. Have you had any fever-related symptoms?" I knew it was weak, but I was too nervous to put my feelings into words. Something odd was going on within me, but the second opinion I so sought for was hidden in the thicket of my shyness. I wasn't even sure if I felt sick. "Like... Feeling hot or having a belly ache?" Ivan's expression lowered and his eyes traveled down to our joined hands. I could see him processing what I'd said. My mental state was a mess as I tried and failed to hide my nervous floundering. "I was just worried, you see, because my brother was sick this morning."

He released my hands and returned them to his sides. I watched his face carefully as it softened. "Then it is not a fever that I should worry about." He finally stated, giving a meek smile. A sigh broke from his lips and he rested the back of his hand over his forehead. "For a moment, I was worried."

I forced a little chuckle. "That's good. I'm glad that you're alight."

At the end of my sentence, his eyes shot up to me, at almost a conspicuous speed. "And is your brother okay?" He asked.

I nodded, briefly remembering Alfred's adorable whining. "Yes, he's alright, thank you for your concern."

"That's good."

The conversation fell flat. We sat in silence for a bit; a thick crawling silence that only grew heavier with each passing moment. I could sense that there was more to what he wanted to say, but I myself was unable to express any further about my concerns. Eventually, one of us said something.

"But... eh... About being sick..." Ivan murmured, pulling my attention back.

I leaned forward, feeling my curiosity peak once more. "What is it?"

He raised his arm up to rub his neck, giving my a sheepish smile. "You don't think that... You could possibly be sick, do you?"

I shook my head a little too quickly. "N-no! I can't be, I have you and Alfred to take care of!" His words somehow managed to penetrate my mind. Now I was left second guessing myself; was I really sick?

Ivan watched Kumajirou roll over in the half-melted snow, almost in a pondering way. His expressions were like a kaleidoscope, cycling though several emotions. Something had entered the air around us. "Can I ask you something?"

I straightened my head at his question and locked my knees. _What could he be curious about? Was it something I said?_ "Sure, anything."

He stepped closer to me, closing what little space which was held between us. I could almost feel his anxiety coming off of him like crackling flames. "You speak of illness and strange feelings, and I am almost eluded by them. Dare I say I have felt odd, but not sick, then what would you say?"

I blinked a few times in puzzlement. "What's wrong, Ivan?" This heightened my concerns. Something was amiss.

"I... I um... I haven't been... What I mean is..." Ivan blundered with his words, trying and inevitably failing to explain his point. He gestured with his hands wildly, before eventually reaching out to take my hand.

I blinked a few times in wonder as he drew it close to himself. "I-It would be easier to show you..." He took a shaky breath and continued. "There has been something eating away at me for a while now, and I haven't been able to work up the courage to ask you about it... At first I had thought that I _was_ sick, that something sinister was at work, but now... now it's the most beautiful thing in the world."

My eyebrows slowly lifted as he pressed my hand to the center of his chest and secured his own above it. I opened my mouth to ask him why, but was interrupted by a gentle nudge. It was followed by another, and another. His heart beat so strongly, yet so delicately against my palm at a swift pace. I felt my breath hitch in the back of my throat. I was left prey to an array of emotions. That feeling... that was his very life right beneath my fingertips. That same life had been brought into this world by a sudden jolt of electricity. It felt almost _human_...

I felt my own heart sync up as I gazed into his pleading eyes. My jaw parted slightly and my mind became dizzy.

Ivan swallowed hard, and I felt his heartbeat thrum faster. "I don't understand why... my body does not obey me as it once had..."

I bit my lip. I'd hoped that this wasn't something huge... That my emotions were just betraying me... But it was as plain as day now, gazing into his eyes, and that startled me.

"You poor creature..." I murmured, slipping my hand free to cradle his face in my palms. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips with discomfort. I felt my own heart racing, and my face burned hot. My synapses were firing; an urge of unsurpassable power had blown through me, and all at once I knew. This feeling... It was plaguing me as well.

I carefully pulled his head down to meet me face to face, feeling myself become immersed in the waves of his warm breath batting over my cheeks. "You cannot comprehend what you've done..." I whispered.

His eyes had only a moment to widen, before I pressed my lips against his and our noses mashed together. Like the swift scythe of death, I stole his breath away, and siphoned the color from his face. It was not long, however, before the color once again rapidly returned, and flooded his cheeks with red. The seconds slowed, and I felt as if we'd entered a timeless void. It was just me and him, the world drifting off into nothingness. I could only focus on his warmth, and the seal that connected us. Everything was so surreal.

I tore my head back to catch my breath, my body shaking like mad, and my head spinning in circles. Ivan's eyes were wide with shock, and his expression dumbfounded. I swallowed hard and licked my bottom lip. It tasted like his skin... but I could not force the horrid images from my brain.

Dirt and gravestones stretched on for seemingly forever, and the air was filled with a bone-chilling fog. The sky was dark and the putrid scent of death stung my nose. I glanced down to my feet and almost screamed. A corpse lie half-buried with soil as a pack of mealworms began to feast on its innards. Their skin was grey and dry, long having passed. Beside the hole was a pile of dirt left from the grueling process of digging up the body, and a nameless tombstone which lie on its side.

I felt my soul leave my body. I couldn't force myself to look at stump neck which lie where a head should be. There was no way I was going to accept it. Such awful images would only result from something so innocent.

"E-eh...Madeline?" Ivan's voice echoed in my subconscious, dragging me back to reality.

I blinked my eyes several times, clearing away the dreadful scene. All I could see was Ivan's face, and a trill anxiety shot up my spine. _What was that?!_

He stared at me, almost out of what I suspected to be horror. I felt the sharp blade of doubt and fear penetrate my chest at what I had just done. _What did I do?!_

Ivan blinked quickly, trying to regain his senses. "Y-you... That..."

I closed my eyes tight and returned my hands to my lap. "I-I think... I think I love you, Ivan."

I felt his hands brush over my jawline, his palms warm and damp over my skin. Once again, the sensation of his breath mixed with mine, and I opened my eager eyes. Ivan's eyes were locked onto mine, and they were deeply confused. "L-Love?" He inquired.

I swallowed again, avoiding his gaze in fear of embarrassment. "Y-yes... Love."

He searched my face for answers to questions that he had not yet asked. "I-is this... _'love'_ contagious?"

My eyes opened wide and I felt my heart leap. He didn't just ask that, did he? "W-well, actually... I... I'm not so sure..."

Ivan's face drained of color. "Th-then I could have given it to you... I _have_ been feeling rather feverish lately."

My eyebrows relaxed, and my mouth parted. "You have?" I asked.

He nodded slowly. "Mostly when I cannot see you... but when I do, I fell so... so happy." His expression told me that he was struggling with a way to express his feelings. But I listened eagerly.

My eyes flicked down to myself momentarily, and then back over to him. Was he as nervous as I was? I wondered.

He tucked a hair behind my ear, pulling my attention back. "What you just did... It... It caused me to lose my senses... but it felt so nice..." Ivan took in a shaky breath. "M-may I have another?"

"Oh!" I gasped as he drew his head towards mine into another kiss, causing my mind to go blank once again. Our noses bumped as he tried to meet my lips straight on, and I helped him along by turning my head a little to the side. We slipped back together like pieces to a puzzle. Another wave of warmth crashed into my body and I felt my blood buzzing with energy. His lips were perched like a gentle butterfly against my own, and they felt much softer than what I'd perceived. I could tell that he was just as bashful as I was; and perhaps just as lost. I felt a little panicked; was I supposed to keep my eyes open or closed? I blinked them a few times, noticing how his were gently closed. With another second's thought, I quickly shut my own. Before I could go on for a moment longer, he broke the kiss and leaned back. I opened my eyes and swallowed up the scene before me.

Ivan was a bit out of breath, and his cheeks were full of flush. He turned his head away to avoid my gaze with the beginning of a smile playing at his lips. I too was flushed and a bit giddy as well.

He bashfully tried to pry his reddened cheeks from sight, reaching his hands up to press his palms over them. I giggled lightly and reached forward to wrap him in a hug. "Was that one nice too?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes... Thank you." He murmured shyly.

I leaned my head against his chest and released a sigh. He wrapped his arms around me as well, and drew me closer into a warm embrace.

* * *

><p>I glanced down at the neatly folded note in my hand with an inaudible sigh. While Madeline had run off to her monster as she always had, a man had come with a month's worth of mail he'd been unable to deliver due to weather issues. Alfred had received a few letters in response to his correspondence in the states, and there was another letter addressed to Madeline from some man named Wang Yao. At first glance, I was afraid that my brother had forgotten to write to me, but I'd found a letter with my name on it hidden beneath one of Alfred's. It was crisp and smelt of burned wax as it rested delicately in my hand. As I held it, I could feel the weight of importance contained within it. There was no address for me to return it to on the envelope. I feared that something may have happened to my beloved brother, but that would have to wait. There were much more pressing matters afoot.<p>

I glanced back up and watched the scene before me unfold several yards away. It was startling at first, but I couldn't deny my eyes as Madeline stood up on the tips of her toes to place a tender kiss on Ivan's lips. They soon became enveloped within each other, and Ivan's arms wrapped around her back protectively.

It almost forced me to gag, but at the same time, it left a grave feeling in my stomach. The truth was unavoidable now; I could no longer be blissfully unaware of the signs splayed out right in front of me. Madeline had fallen for the creature, and he had somehow retrieved his lost humanity to return it. Ivan had won her heart, and in turn, won his own life.

Alfred would never be able to bring him down now. Madeline had been his obstacle since the beginning, and now it was reinforced with solid steel and the almost undeniable look in her eyes.

I couldn't help but feel a frown pull my lips downward. Perhaps it was a small part of me, or a little geist that chose to reside in my soul, but somewhere within me, I felt resentment. Just seeing their faces mashed against each other made me feel miserable. It was hard to watch.

I pried my eyes away and glared back down at my letter. A sigh released itself from my lips and I began walking back inside, my footfalls becoming heavier and more strenuous. I hoped Ludwig was doing much better than I.

* * *

><p>I rested up against a tree with my legs sprawled out in front of myself. Madeline leaned against my side, wrapping her coat around the both of us. Up in the sky, I watched as the stars twinkled like millions of little eyes watching over us. I felt so peaceful, as if nothing in the world mattered. I released a slow sigh and lowered my head onto hers.<p>

There were no words to describe how relieved I was to find out that she too had befallen the spell of 'love'. It truly was a beautiful feeling, though it dulled in comparison to Madeline's elegance. I reached up to rub my cheek with my thumb and held it out to inspect it in the starlight. The redness from Madeline's lips had left little butterfly shapes all over my face as she'd showered me with kisses. I smiled ear to ear as my face grew hot.

She stirred after a moment, and I felt her head move from my shoulder. "This is lovely." She commented.

I glanced down, tilting my head to the side. "The stars?"

Madeline nodded, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "They're perfect. I'm glad that we can enjoy them together." Her voice was soft and easy on my ears.

I instinctively ducked my head, but with the absence of my scarf, I couldn't hide the little smile that toyed at my lips. "I-I'm glad as well..."

Madeline nuzzled up against me, embracing my protective grasp. For the first time, I allowed my feelings to surpass my natural instinct. I felt as if some invisible bonds had been broken from my wrists, allowing me to extend them out and feel her warm body. She was so beautiful and so fragile; I wanted so badly to shield her from the world. From my own experiences, I knew it was a cruel place, and she was such a delicate flower; I wished to be the sun that never allowed the frost of night to settle over her blooming cheeks, nor did I wish for such a quiet bird to lose its song to the impenetrable winds of winter. I wanted for nothing to ever harm her again, if I could help it.

I felt the warm sensation of lips on my neck, and my attention was immediately brought downward. Madeline's cheeks were a dull pink in the watery blue beams of light as she reached up to touch my face. "I'm sorry... I just... I can't help myself. I just want to kiss away all of the scars..." She bashfully nodded her head downward in an effort to hide her face.

I breathed out unevenly, a bit tripped up by the slight interruption of my breath. My hand traveled up to wrap around my throat, rubbing over the red mark she left behind. "Eh... Thank you..." I felt rather self conscious, but the kiss was always welcomed. It felt like so much more than a simple hug. I laughed gently. "It was a nice try."

Her eyes stared upwards at my own for a long moment, and I felt her mood shift, if only slightly. Madeline gently took my hand in her own and hugged it towards herself. I wanted to say something and find what was the matter, but a sudden wave crashed into me, leaving my voice ineffective. Her skin was hot so close to her chest, and I could feel what I was almost sure to be her heart. It choked me up and stopped my breathing. She didn't say anything, but just nuzzled into me closer. I could feel her head resting above my chest. She could probably hear my own, which grew faster now. I felt as if she had paved a connection between them, locking them into the same speed.

"I'm scared..." She murmured finally, her voice muffled by fabric.

I dared to breathe again. "What? Why are you scared?"

Her head drooped a bit. "I'm scared that this shouldn't be... That all of these new feelings are just... wrong... all wrong."

I swallowed hard. It didn't feel that way. I'd never felt so sure of my feelings in my life. "Why do you think that?"

Madeline drew in a deep breath, and sighed. Her heart was erratic beneath my fingers, and I almost felt squeamish. "I should have fallen in love with some bloke back home in England, someone who Alfred would accept... I know he won't be happy with me now..."

I blinked slowly and turned my eyes onto the sky. The stars were twinkling like thousands of little spectators, and the breeze had stilled. It was as if the world itself was holding its breath just to hear my response. A pang of regret had somehow made its way into my current bliss. Even I knew she was right. I wasn't right for such majesty. It wasn't like I was without doubts of my own. But my instincts were never wrong, and now, they told me to speak. "There is no need to worry." I closed my eyes and pet her head soothingly with my free arm. "Alfred doesn't need to find out. It will be our secret."

"I hate lying to my brother."

"Then," I pointed up to the sky, "it will be their secret to keep."

She glanced up to the twisting cosmos that opened up around the forest's edge. Again, a soft breeze blew through the clearing and her response was delayed. "The... stars?"

I smiled lightly and removed my other hand to cradle her face. She turned back to me with a confused expression. I rubbed her cheek for a moment, before leaning in to place a kiss on her temple. "They have kept many secrets for me, Madeline. The stars will never tell."

My words were successful in soothing her troubled mind, and her shoulders relaxed. Madeline leaned back into me and curled up tighter. "I hope that you are right."

I rubbed her arm lovingly. "I know I am."

"It's getting kind of cold out here, we should be getting back." Madeline advised after a few very long, and even more enjoyable moments.

I allowed her to stand back up, before getting back on my feet. The wind was calm and sluggish as it tossed my hair gently in front of my eyes. I smiled and handed her jacket back for her to slip on. "I agree, it is getting rather chilly." She slipped it on with a thankful nod and slid her hands into her pockets. I watched her for a long moment, until another grin painted my face.

"Do you think that-" I swiftly wrapped my arms around her legs and back and lifted her up. "Whoa!" I held her on one shoulder and secured her with my arm to keep her steady. Soon her laughter filled the silent clearing and I followed suit. "You always have to lift me up, don't you?"

I hummed and began walking back. "I wouldn't want you tripping again."

She rested one hand atop my head with a little giggle. "You're such a gentleman."

I closed my eyes and allowed my feet to drift along the path we'd made in the shallow snow. Her words were kind and brought me much happiness. It had taken a long time, but perhaps now it was true. Maybe it was time that the name 'monster' became 'gentleman'.

"And you, my dearest sun."


	20. Enemy of My Enemy

My sound sleep was interrupted by the eerie whining of an ancient door. I slowly opened my eyes, the weight of a heavy body lingering beside me. A bright orange light slashed into the darkness through the crack of the old wooden door, staining my vision with colors. "Hmm?" I lifted my head from the arm beneath it and blinked my bleary eyes.

A dark shape wriggled through the light and I saw a flash of skin. Someone stepped inside, holding out a lantern in front of themself. I furrowed my brows in dull confusion. "Ivan? Is that you?"

The newcomer made no sound as they approached, and I tensed. I squinted my eyes to make out who it was. Their eyes were liquid in the bright light as they drew even closer and finally I could make out some of their features. A head of messy white hair and ruby red eyes indicated that it was my brother's most beloved friend, and my body slowly relaxed. "Gilbert... what's got you up so early?" I asked, breaking afterwards to yawn. "Is Alfred unwell?"

His eyes stared unblinking at me and his lips rested in a thin line, his face was void and expressionless. Once again, he struck uneasiness into my mind. Gilbert came closer, every step seeming like another mile's advance. I quickly turned my attention onto the body lying beside myself and nudged Ivan roughly. "Ivan... Ivan wake up! Wake up!"

Ivan emitted a low groan and readjusted his arm around my waist. He mumbled something, then became silent once more.

I released a surprised gasp as a firm hand clasped onto my shoulder. Gilbert's shadow was cast on the wall over my own, dancing with the image of something brought high over his head. I froze with horror and flipped around to scream, but was quickly silenced by a hard '_thwack_' to the side of my head. The world flickered with bright white lights flashing across my vision, before shutting to black again. The last thing I felt was his cold fingers wrapped over my mouth.

* * *

><p>I hummed a sweet tune to myself as I dipped my hand into the bucket of water at my side. The welcoming light of early morning poured inside through my open door, reflecting my image in the old mirror I'd found hidden amongst all of the tools. Kumajirou was lying a few feet away, watching me as I washed my face. He wagged his tail back and forth in a swift motion, seeming pleased with my upbeat mood.<p>

It was the first time that I'd ever gazed into a mirror long enough to actually clean my face. I never really thought of doing anything of the sort, as such acts seemed hopeless, but for Madeline's sake, I felt like I should show her my very best. I rubbed away the left over markings from her lipstick and cleaned a bit of the grime around my hairline. It wasn't the most presentable face, but it would have to do.

Gazing now into the mirror, I realized just how much I'd grown in three short years. I was no longer the chalky pale I'd been that day I'd glanced into the still waters of my birthplace. My skin was alive with the vibrant shade of flesh, and I could see my cheeks had filled. I was startled by the visage before me. It was as if the person staring back was a stranger. What was that I see? A smile? No, it couldn't possibly be. I was smiling?

I reached out to touch the glossy surface of the mirror, feeling for the stranger's features. No, that wasn't a stranger. My pupils dilated with curiosity. I reached up to touch the jagged sutures that trailed across the midsection of my face. They didn't hurt or tear, but they still felt a bit uneven. If it weren't for those, I probably wouldn't believe that this face was my own. I craned my neck and inspected the thin stitch-work Madeline had made over my throat with calm admiration. My lips upturned and I propped my head up on my elbow. I sighed with content and gazed with amusement at my reflection. "You lucky old corpse, look at yourself. First you were six feet under, and now you've got your head in the clouds..." I toyed with a loose strand of hair that dipped over one side of my face. "How did you ever make it this far?"

It didn't really matter to me, I was here now, and I had something more to live for. Perhaps this was all I needed? This strange concept called 'love'?

"Madeline?!" I jumped as a piercing cry filled the air, almost knocking over the bucket of water. My eyes flicked from the mirror towards the door and my muscles tensed. "Madeline where are-" The voice was cut off by a brief coughing fit. "Where are you?!"

Kumajirou stood up, his ears fidgeting to find the source for the sound. I peaked outside the door, keeping to the side just in case I was within view.

Someone stood out by the forest's edge, their back turned towards me. Judging by their blonde hair and choice of attire, I guessed that it was Alfred. What was he doing out here so early? Wasn't he ill?

He turned to the side and cupped a hand over his mouth. "Maddie!?"

I gasped and slipped behind the door. My breathing quickened and I slid from my feet. Kumajirou charged out the door, his explosive barking shattering the air. My eyes widened with surprise and I stared down at the ground in confusion. "What is happening?!" I asked aloud.

I peaked over the side again, hearing the pounding of approaching footsteps. Alfred's icy blue eyes were narrowed in my direction and I almost let out a fearful gasp. I flattened myself against the wall. _What's going on?!_

It wasn't long before he stepped foot inside the shed, calling out again. I felt chills run up my spine and pulled my knees to my chest. He turned and I felt my heart leap into my throat. "What have you done to her you damned creature?!" Alfred hissed.

I stared up at the blonde man in horror. My body was shivering now, like leaf in the autumn breeze. "W-what? What are you talking about?"

His glasses reflected the light coming indoors, hiding his dangerous gaze from sight. I could feel his anger coming off in waves. "You. You did this. I should never have trusted the likes of you!" I quickly shielded myself as he threw a punch at my face. The contact made a loud slap of skin meeting skin, and he grunted. "Tell me! Tell me where she is!"

My mind was spinning with confusion. "What?! What has happened to Madeline?!"

Alfred snarled at me. "She never came back last night! What did you do to her?!" He threw another punch, and I successfully caught it right before it made contact with my face. "You're hiding her, aren't you!?"

"Calm down! I don't have her!" My stomach was filled with smoldering rocks. _Madeline hadn't come home last night? Where else could she be?! I thought she'd left before the break of dawn so she could take care of her ill brother?_ My limbs were frozen with fear as it all suddenly hit me. "Madeline is... gone?"

Alfred's face was red with rage, and I caught a glimpse of his eyes beneath the glass frames. He was furious, but I could also tell that he was absolutely tired, with the heavy bags that hung from his eyes and the red that stained his scleras. Something had woken him up.

"You are going to tell me." He growled through tightly gritted teeth. My eyes flicked towards the movement at his side. He reached his hand to the back of his belt and pulled out a knife with all of its gleaming terror. "Or," He brought it up to my face threateningly, "I will start with your eyes."

I stared at the sharpened blade with unwavering intensity. Sweat had begun to bead my hairline as I was plummeted into panic. I had nothing to offer him, and his words were gravely serious. Madeline wasn't here to protect me...

My eyes flicked from the edge of the blade to lock with his. _What happened last night?_

* * *

><p>Alfred searched for her like mad, I could hear the crowing of prey birds from far out into the distance and his frustrated shouting. I was bound to the back of the shed with heavy ropes and chains that Alfred had stowed away for the same purpose. It had been hours since I'd seen Kumajirou after he'd run off, and I grew ever worried. My chest felt as if a weight had fallen on it, and my mind was like pond muck. Nothing registered anymore; I couldn't even bring myself to try and escape. I couldn't keep my thoughts at bay now that I've become trapped in them. Droplets of blood drizzled down the side of forehead where Alfred had tried to pry the answers from me.<p>

Over and over I remembered the last time I saw Madeline. Every time I remembered that moment in which my eyes had closed. My heart clenched. How could I possibly have done it? I thought I was alone in the morning... That was right, Madeline had to run off in the morning to tend to her sickly brother. But there was nothing else that could have happened. I'd lost it in the night, I had to have. I had absolutely no memories of her beyond that point. My mind was utterly blank.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists tight. My nails dug into my palms and I felt blood begin to well up beneath my finger pads. She had grown too close... She told me she loved me; she'd dared to get close to me. It had been a grave mistake.

My breathing became rugged as I struggled to contain myself. It was all my fault. I should have warned her, turned her back on the one way path of my subconscious. There were regions of my mind that I'd unknowingly unfolded towards her, opening up a world of pain and hatred. I screamed as my inner turmoil forced my eyes onto a bloody scene from the likes I wanted to neglect. "No!" I yelped. "N-No!"

Her face was left bruised and bloodied and her perfect skin soiled with deep cuts and divots. My large fist wrapped around her slim throat, throttling the life from her very eyes; eyes that had once held so much depth and compassion. She cried and cried and I threw her. I tore at her and destroyed the only thing I loved. Destruction was my specialty and my curse. I knew it made me weak, that must have been my motive. Erase the weakness.

Tears spilled down my face and agony ripped at my insides. I felt like a beast had entered my body and was clawing its way out from the inside outwards, leaving behind only grief and self loathing. It would be so easy to blame it on my misery, but what I failed to realize was that this beast was actually me. The darkness within my soul was too deep to uproot; it had spilled outward and took over my very being. The truth burned like hot coals.

Alfred would hunt until nightfall, and then his efforts would be channeled into violence. I was likely to die tonight at his hands.. Such release was too good for me. Even the devil wouldn't be so cruel as to lay a claw on the angel's feathers which I had dared stain red. I was to blame.

I tried so hard to pull together my memories; to remember the gruesome act, but nothing came along. Only fragments of several different situations surfaced, all tied together with the same awful result. My mind was a mess as I tried to think of any other thing that could have happened, that I hadn't done what I feared so much. Anything was better than this! Anything!

A sudden thought entered my mind and a glacial wind froze my bones solid. I hadn't seen so much as a glance of Gilbert all day. By now I should have at least had a glimpse of him, even if he was just going off to join Alfred in the search. My stomach flipped and I bit back the name that so badly wanted to burst forward. I knew who was behind this. Gilbert wasn't like that, he wasn't that heartless. It was true, even the devil wouldn't do something as cruel as _he_. The very thought filled me to the brim with horrifying malice

I heard Alfred's footsteps nearing once again, and I pulled on my binds feverishly. A flash of blonde met my eyes and I sucked in a sharp, spiteful breath. Alfred strode over to face me, and I could easily tell that he wasn't happy. Although, neither was I. With him, he brought an air of distrust and hatred towards myself.

"Release me!" I shouted, rattling my chains in a desperate rage. "Let me go find her!"

Alfred narrowed his eyes and held his gun firmly in his hands. His knuckles whitened and he drew back a few feet. "How should I trust you!? You were the one that killed her no doubt!"

My breathing was heavy as I tried to gain composure, but my body shook with boundless fury. "I would much rather kill the man that took her from me! Release these chains!" I demanded, causing the wood behind me to groan. My teeth ached from clamping them so tightly, they bared like fangs and I hungered for bloodshed. "I can sit idle no longer!"

Alfred's burning blue eyes bore into my skull, it was clear that he wanted me dead. But his pain was something that drew us together. We were like brothers with woe. I took a breath to drum up that emotion. I wanted to see it consume him as much as it had me.

"She could be dead at any moment! Don't you want to get her back?"

Alfred snarled. "Of course I do, monster!"

"Then break these bonds and hunt that bastard down! Let my strength be your own!" I pulled again, forcing the wood to splinter. If he wasn't going to let me go, I would be freed one way or another.

"You think I would like to be a beast like you? Look at you! Madness has consumed what shreds were left of that rot you call a brain! How do I know your hands weren't the ones to bring death upon my sister!?" He took a heavy step forward and raised his barrel up to my head.

"I would never harm her! And you I would expect the least! Killing me now would snuff out your chances of bringing down what scum who would dare take her from you." I narrowed my eyes, feeling the flames in my chest lick at my throat. "It is that monster Arthur that snatched her up no doubt!"

Alfred's face was suddenly stricken pale. I felt a rush of awful excitement at the cold breeze that blew through his eyes, darkening them with uncertainty. He too had suspicions, only it was up to me to lift the cloak and bring them to life. Again, I repeated my assault. "Arthur is the damned man that took your sister from you!"

"Enough!" He suddenly barked, forcing my next words to fall back. A devilish smile spread across my face at the glimmer in his eyes, covering them with a clear film of tears. It was working.

"What do you say, ohotnik?"

Alfred's chest heaved as he stared me straight in the eyes and I felt a gust of wind rush through me. He was searching them, looking for something, anything that might prove him right. I met him head on and held my breath. The air around us became thick as clouds of distrust collected, then all at once, he tore his gaze away like the crack of lightning. "Fine."

I released my breath in a loud gasp and struggled to hold back the chuckle that forced its way forth. "Aha! Da!" I turned my head to the sky as my body wracked with laughter. "Yes!"

"But any sly move and you wont have a moment more, you hear me?" Alfred's rugged voice pulled me back. A long streak ran down one side of his face and dripped down to the ground. This, however, did not take away from the anger he held back.

I calmed myself and stood up straighter. "Why of course, _Fredka_."

His eyebrows furrowed and he snorted. "That's Alfred to you."

I sneered at him playfully. "Then you must call me Ivan."

I could see the young man's skin crawl with discontent and disgust. He really didn't want to recognize me as anything more than a monster. I guessed that term was true, as the thrill of murder was thrumming within my veins once again.

"Don't push it, creature." He hissed.

"Whatever you say, _Fredka_."

* * *

><p>My nose scrunched up with disdain as Ivan ducked inside the cabin behind me. His filth was almost drowning this tiny hovel in shadow. He was very unwelcome here, especially after he'd dared to get close to my sister. I never wanted to be in the same shoes as he, we were not alike in any way. Madeline's disappearance was his fault, no matter how much he tried to justify himself. He would never be more than a cretin in my eyes, and he knew it.<p>

His eyes ran across the room, almost in a predatory manner, almost as if he were picking out his prey of choice. I watched him very closely, waiting for him to burst out at any moment and do something questionable. I _wanted_ him to.

Ivan's lips rested in a calm frown as he scanned the walls, then slowly turned to me. "Your trophies sicken me."

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms. "It's a shame your own head couldn't join them. Now _that_ would be a trophy."

His shoulders twitched, if only slightly. I knew it bothered him. He'd better know his place if he's going to be working with me. I glared at him for a long moment before walking towards the bedroom. "Stay here, and don't touch anything."

"I will make no promises." Ivan's cold voice responded as I turned into the door. I would pretend I didn't hear that.

My breathing hitched for a moment as I beheld her bed beside my own, neat and untouched. I still couldn't believe it. She was gone in only a single night. I bit the inside of my lip and glanced away, focusing my gaze on my own bed. If my memory served me correctly, there was a gun somewhere under there. It would be good to have an extra one just in case my partner became _shifty_.

I knelt down to search the space beneath the bed, but was interrupted by another coughing fit. My throat felt like it was being torn open as my body shook with effort. I scrunched my eyebrows together and swallowed thickly. This illness wasn't making the situation any better.

I located the shotgun and pulled it out from the dark abyss of dust and spiderwebs. After making sure that it was loaded, I turned and left. I didn't want to stare at her belongings for a moment longer. Now was no time to mourn, there could still be hope.

Ivan stood exactly where I'd left him, his eyes staring intensely at the fireplace. When I entered the room he did not stir. He seemed to be very deep in thought. _As if he was capable of such a concept... _I thought to myself with a little roll of my eyes.

"Come, beast. We're leaving." I holstered the gun around my shoulder with the strap and hooked up the pack I'd hung on the dining room chair onto my other. The pack was filled with the supplies I'd intended on using on my hunting trip with Gilbert but seeing as he'd left none of his own belongings, the trip would have to be postponed indefinitely. There was a small pause where my mind trailed on, but I quickly shook it off.

The large man flicked his head away from the flames and turned to me. I could see the dissatisfaction in his expression. He didn't like when I lowered his moral status. Too bad for him. "Aren't you going to put out the fire?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Let the whole place burn down for all I care. It's not my priority anymore." My words were gravely cold, even if I did feel a twinge of guilt. Of course I wasn't always this regardless, but my sister was the most dear thing to me in the world. I would drop everything and stop the whole earth to make sure she was safe. No matter how painful it was, I'd even befriend some awful abomination just to save her.

Ivan turned towards the door without another word and stepped outside. I followed behind and gripped my gun tighter. This close up, I could smell Madeline's soap on him. It should burn such a demon's flesh. My suspicions were heightened. I glanced up to his face as we began to walk towards the never-ending stretch of forest ahead of us. His expression was dark and chillingly unreadable. How I wished to get a glimpse of what horrors must be unfolding in that animal cage of a skull. I wanted to know that this journey wasn't for nothing; that Madeline hadn't died at the hands of him while I was comfortable in my own bed. I wanted to know for sure that I wasn't walking beside her killer.

He seemed to notice my gaze and side-glanced in my direction. I felt a chill run down my spine and quickly averted my eyes. "I did not kill her." He stated, almost in disgust that I would even think such of him. To be truthful, I wouldn't put it past him.

I stared down at my boots, unable to meet his soulless violet orbs. "I will believe you when we find her."

There was a slight change in his pace beside me. "I will go ahead and see where we are."

I sighed and allowed my shoulders to sag. What did it matter anyway, there was no telling where she could possibly be by now. Gilbert could be in the complete opposite direction for all we knew. My eyes trailed down to the ground, where grass and slush was scattered about. I had already left a scrambled mess of footsteps in this direction. Knowing Gilbert and his skill, he could have easily hidden his tracks.

I watched as Ivan ran ahead, his footfalls thudding loud as if he were some sort of hoofed animal. My body shivered as chill run up my spine. He threw out his arm to hook it around one of the nearest trees and effortlessly threw himself up onto a low-hanging branch. It groaned and leaves fluttered to the ground below, long forgotten as he continued, utterly unfazed. Ivan flew much faster than I could have imagined, forcing me to momentarily reconsider my decision. He was acting as if the world was his playground... That disturbed me...

It took him only moments to leave my sight, blending again with the surrounding forest, but I could still feel his dreadful presence. It was as if I was hunting him again like my earlier days here. His aura was intoxicating and dizzying. I couldn't focus with the loom of death over my shoulders.

But what struck me most of all, was my best friend's betrayal. Gilbert hadn't shown any signs of what he'd allegedly done, he'd been his normal self, hell, he'd saved my life! Why was I believing some desperate monster over him? Gilbert was just so... trustworthy. He was like the brother I'd never had. It was very likely that Ivan had concocted that story to save his own skin, and he was just leading me to my own inevitable death right now. But somehow, I felt that he hadn't done it. There was no sign of blood anywhere on him -at least new blood for that matter- and he'd seemed so genuine when confronted. The raw fear in his discolored eyes...

God, what has become of my judgement?

My eyes traveled over my shoulder toward the clearing we were leaving behind. For months this has felt like home for Madeline and I. It almost hurt having to leave it behind now. Alone.

* * *

><p>The sky eventually darkened, and I felt the vigor that had filled my bones begin to fade. I no longer had the energy to continue, no matter how hard I wanted to push myself. My mortal body slowed down until I dropped to my knees. A choked huff left my lips and I slumped backwards, my head clunking against the soggy ground. My breathing slowed, and I calmed down. The red veil that hung over my eyes had dissolved away, leaving me weaker and colder than before. I reached up to rest a hand over my chest. There was a gentle rhythm there, unlike my own heavy one that I'd grown used to. I knew it was hers, it was so distinct. It was burned into my memory like the familiarity of an old face.<p>

I fought to contain myself as my eyes became wet again, and I breathed shallowly. God, the devil, some other ethereal being, whatever had caused this, it should be damned as I. Curse the thing that had bound flesh to flesh and soul to body. It was responsible for the nameless pain I felt inside. Madeline had slipped through my fingers like water from a creek, and she'd taken my love with her to whatever hell awaits her. It was as if a limb had been removed from me, but I could still feel its ghost lingering behind. My body groaned and cried for its return with a new hunger much different from that for food. It felt hallow and unquenchable. I felt empty.

Alfred eventually caught up to me, now lying on my back on the damp earth. He brought with him the same air that was clogging my lungs. He was worried too, and felt the weight of loss just as I. Even if we despised each other for our respective natures, I felt pitiful. Alfred set his gun down and released a loud huff as he fell to the ground a few feet from me. He sprawled out his arms like a soldier given up on battle, and sighed.

"She can't be too far off... Gilbert couldn't have left much before sunset yesterday."

I frowned and stared up at the bleak white sky. It was speckled with gray flecks here and there, giving the illusion of stone. I knew she'd been taken much longer after that. Madeline hadn't left that night until around dawn. I could see it now, her small frame getting snatched up like a hen ready for killing. I should have stayed awake... I could have protected her. Gilbert would never dare cross me, not when he knew how much power I possessed. No one could ever say no to me, they'd have to kill me first.

"He is on his way to Germany." I muttered.

There was a short pause, and I heard Alfred shift. "How do you know?" His voice wasn't challenging, but moderately frustrated.

I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out a crumpled up letter. "Arthur sent Gilbert a letter, he wants to meet up with him in some village in the east."

Alfred greedily snatched the letter from my hand and sat up. It wouldn't do him any good now. The moon was only a thin slit in the sky, barely bright enough to illuminate the land even for my hypersensitive vision. His weak eyes would have trouble even seeing a hand in front of his face.

I heard the paper crackle in his grip as he unfolded it. He growled under his breath and I heard the envelope slap against the wet soil. "Why the fuck didn't you show me earlier?!" He snapped. "I don't even know what direction we're even traveling in!"

I closed my eyes and released a slow sigh. His question hung in the air for a little while longer before the air grew silent. Even the trees did not move.

I didn't know either.

A long time passed before I heard Alfred resettle himself and let out a gruff sigh. "Why?" He inquired in a low voice.

I opened my eyes again in the darkness. "Why... what?"

"Why did Gilbert take her? Why was he in contact with Arthur?"

I turned my head in his direction. Even in the darkness I could feel his eyes penetrating my skull. But they did not feel threatening, but pleading. The contents of the letter reeled behind my eyes for a moment before I responded. "He didn't say why they were in correspondence, only that he should take Madeline with him while we were asleep. He said he'd gotten word that you still hadn't killed me, and that someone had to be punished." That word. _Punished_. It burned on my tongue when in relations to her.

I could feel the unease coming from his direction. "He didn't say what he was going to do with her?"

I closed my eyes again with a shake of my head. "No."

He was silent for a moment, his breathing interrupted, before he breathed out again. The news wouldn't provide him with much comfort. I could imagine what was going through his head right now. I shared the same concerns.

I rolled over on the tough earth and curled into myself. My limbs felt lonely, unable to coil themselves around a warm body. I wanted to cuddle up against Madeline again and feel her hair tickle my face, her sides rise and fall as she slept. It was just me again. Me and my thoughts in this unyielding world. Now with what felt like my greatest enemy, whom had somehow become my greatest ally.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

*sweats nervously*

Translations:

Ohotnik (охотник)= Hunter


	21. The Hunt

We set off on Gilbert's trail, hunting day and night, rain and shine. I barely slept, if at all. I had no wish to halt our little misadventure, but Alfred would drag me back and ground me in place. His human body being much weaker than my own, grew fatigued much quicker than I. Unfortunately, there was no way I could go alone even if I wanted to, he was my only source of information from the human world. So, at night while he slept, I would survey the area and make sure there were no threats from either nature or humankind. Some nights when the sky was open with a brilliant core of light, I could have swore I saw the dancing frame of my beloved within the watery beams that trickled through the trees; while other nights I was unpleasantly graced by_ him._ If it was my lack of sleep or the madness settling over my mind that caused these visions, I was unsure.

If and when I did catch a few winks of sleep, it would be short lived. Knowing that Alfred was with me made my muscles tense and my body restless. In the waking hours, we were bound by silence. Alfred would mutter little things under his breath every now and then, but I payed him no mind. He seemed to be keeping me in check when we would come close to civilization -as if my chain wasn't short enough. When we needed food or other such items, Alfred would leave me in the cover of the forest while he went to the village or town. Those were times in which I found temporary ease.

"Do you... uh... want anything? While I'm out?" Alfred turned to me for a moment, not meeting my eyes. For the past few days, even he had begun to feel suffocated by the uneasy silence between us. He attempted conversation here and there, but I couldn't bring myself to speak.

I turned away and strode over to an old tree stump. Now wasn't any different. I sat down and began my wait.

A minute passed before Alfred finally left, and with him the awkward cloud drifted off.

I watched the trees sway in the summer breeze, taking a deep breath in to calm myself. Fatigue made my eyelids heavy, but determination kept them open. At first, it had been hard accepting the fact that she was no longer with me; I'd even questioned her presence in the first place, but eventually I was forced to make peace. After building such an intricate glass pane of behaviors and emotions and then watching as it all shuttered before me, picking up the pieces and returning to my old self was an impossibility. Now my time was occupied by empty thought and the beastial instinct to survive. Somehow, I was even more detached from the world than I had already been.

It was mid-afternoon before I heard footsteps again. For a moment, I was filled with unease, and the hairs on the back of my neck bristled.

"Well, we're headed in the right direction." Alfred's voice reassured me with its familiarity. My muscles relaxed and I glanced over my shoulder.

The young man was approaching me with a pack filled with what I'd assume to be food. He was chewing on something, although I wasn't curious enough to find out what. I turned back to the trees and waited expectantly. "Well?"

I heard him set down his loot. "We're in Poland as of right now. It can't be too much longer than a week before we reach Germany."

I glanced over to him again. It had been a while since I'd seen a map, I had no clue as to where or what Poland even was. "Is that a good thing?"

Alfred reached into his pocket and took out some sort of dried fruit. I watched him with narrowed eyes as he stuffed a whole handful into his mouth and proceeded to chew slowly. "Are you kidding me?" His voice was muffled before he swallowed. "We're making great progress. Even if Gilbert traveled by horse we'll still be only a day or two behind him." He looked quite hopeful.

I turned away and nodded without another word.

He paused before attempting conversation again, "Are you... hungry?... Or do you not eat?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. This pitiful excuse for conversation was grueling on my already over-occupied mind. Alfred was trying to pave paths that I would rather not cross. "No. I'm not."

I heard him ruffle with his clothing, most likely stuffing the remainder of his food back into his pocket before he became silent again.

"You don't eat, you don't sleep. Just what are you?" He suddenly inquired.

My eyebrows pinched together with frustration. "I don't wish to discuss this right now."

"I just want to understand why the hell you're here. What is it about my sister that matters to you so much?"

I felt a sting from his words, like the piercing of a cobra's fangs into my flesh. To even question the reason for my pursuit would to be question why I lived or breathed. I stumbled for a moment, my jumbled mess for brains working to come up with a response. "I...I loved her..." The statement faded from my lips, almost like a ghost evaporating from existence. I hadn't allowed it to happen, it just came out unprovoked. A scrap of what I had been wriggled its way though my skin like a parasite and gnawed on wounds I'd hoped to close. Just the thought of her resuscitated emotion deep inside.

I did not turn my back to face him, I just stared down at my hands. It was almost shameful, Madeline had trusted me to keep us a secret. Seeing as now she could be dead or worse, that promise didn't really stand.

There was a sense of unease from him, and I heard him shuffle quite a lot while he processed my words. "Love?" He questioned, almost out of disbelief.

I slouched my shoulders as if the very word carved into my back. "She made me feel... human. I knew there was something about her from the very moment I laid eyes on her."

I heard him release a long drawn out sigh. "Well, I can't say I didn't expect it. I already guessed that she had taken a liking to you." His voice became rough. "It's a shame she fell for your awful tricks. I really don't understand what she saw in you to open herself up like that."

I grit my teeth for a moment and released them. "How could I corrupt what was so pure?" I argued. "She was just so..."

"It should have been you." Alfred interrupted with a cold hiss.

My mouth was left ajar, the words I wished to speak having fallen flat. I gently allowed it to close. I shut my eyes and held my face in my hand with shame. "It should have."

"And now I'm stuck with you. You should be dead right now."

I pursed my lips. He wasn't wrong.

"That mad man was foolish thinking he could bring back the dead. All he did was create a monster, and now my sister must suffer because of it."

"You don't understand." I murmured. "You haven't the slightest clue."

"About what?" Alfred snapped. "Your little 'romance?'"

I sat up straight and stared forward. "I would much rather face judgment for my crimes than have any harm come to her." My fists clenched as I rose to my feet to face him. "I would rather stand before my maker; my very GOD, than have anything happen to her." I jabbed my finger in his face. "Not even a little wretch such as yourself could stop me!"

Alfred narrowed his eyes, his face twisted with disgust. "She doesn't deserve some abomination with a scarred face, let alone a murderer. I don't care what man you'd step in front of, if it wasn't for your creation, she and I would be happy!"

I spread my arms out. "Then kill me now! Strip me of this awful curse!"

Alfred's hand rested over the knife at his hip. I watched with rage-fueled intensity as he wavered and his hand soon dropped. He turned away and balled up his fist. "Madeline doesn't deserve this. She's already lost mum and dad, she can't lose her brother too..."

"Do you cower from me so easily? When I am so blatantly spread for you? Kill me! If it is for her sake, kill me!"

"She doesn't deserve to lose her beloved beast either." He sighed.

My expression loosened with disbelief and my arms slowly dropped. "What?"

Alfred took a step in the direction we'd been heading. "The only reason you still draw breath is because she loves you. If you weren't any more dear to her than her studies, I would have already slit your throat."

I had to take a moment to soak in what he'd said, before wiping off the dumb expression left on my face.

"But..." Alfred continued, "I wouldn't rejoice for long. Madeline is a strong young woman, she will realize with time that an ideal man doesn't have rot on his breath." I flinched as he turned back and walked towards me. He brushed past and hooked his arm through the strap of his pack. "Let's just get moving."

I stood with my feet firmly planted to the ground for a minute or two, Alfred's smaller frame disappearing into the jumbled network of trees and brush. My lips rested in a small frown as I glanced down to my feet. His words, even within their essence, were in their own way reassuring, but also very grave. They were much too heavy with the truth.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean I must stay!? We already have enough food to suffice even your bottomless stomach!"<p>

I shook my head and held out my palm in a halting gesture. "Just stay here, I have to take care of something while we're here."

"Madeline's life is at stake!" Ivan argued.

"Stay here, I wont be long. Give me an hour maybe two, that will be more than enough."

His gaze burned into my skull. "You waste my time, Alfred. It is bad enough that you need to sleep for over eight hours a day!"

I heaved a sigh of frustration. "Please just give me this, alright? I'll make it up to you somehow."

He narrowed his eyes with a displeased scowl. "Oh? And how do you propose you do that?"

"I don't know, just... I'll think of something later! Now promise that you will stay here while I'm gone." The situation felt much like teaching a dog how to stay in place.

Ivan still seemed very uncooperative, but his posture slouched. "Be quick about your business, daylight burns."

I waited a moment before turning and going off into the woods at our right. My eyes drifted back to make sure he was keeping to his word. Ivan watched me leave, his eyes reflecting his frustration. There was definitely a trust issue between us; all I could hope is that it wouldn't drive him to disobey.

As I was freed from his line of sight, I felt the suffocating cloud of friction lift. My eyes were trained ahead with determination as I tuned into my surroundings. It was almost certain that this was the location. He was right within my grasp...

I narrowed my eyes at the house that revealed itself through the thicket of trees, and gripped my gun tighter.

_There he is. That snake-skinned coward._

My teeth clamped together as I ascended the stairs and neared the door. My stomach was tight and my movements sure. His presence was unmistakable. He was definitely here, and so she was as well.

I threw my foot out and kicked the door in with a loud splintering crash. It swung into the wall, and I shouldered inside. "Gilbert!" I shouted. "Face me you devil!"

All was quiet from the inside, the only light coming from the broken window in the main room. The rest of them were shut tight with their shades drawn suspiciously. I scrunched up my nose and searched around the pitiful hovel for him.

This place was a rat-hole, quite fitting for such a monumental rodent.

My boots caused the wood to groan underfoot and the walls were covered in rotting wood. A dark thought entered my mind as I soaked up my surroundings. _He can't be treating her well... Not in this shit-hole._

"Gilbert!" I barked again. As I rounded the wall to search through what I assumed to be a bedroom, I felt something move behind me. The wood groaned with the addition of more weight. My eyes flicked over my shoulder and I slowly turned around.

There he stood, that scoundrel. His hair was no longer sleek and white, but more of a dirty grey, and his eyes harbored more red around the rims than his irises. He looked like a wild animal shaken from its hiding place. "What are_ you_ doing here?" He asked in a low tone.

I felt sickened at the gal he had to even ask such a question. "Where is she?"

He narrowed his eyes with a scowl. "Who?"

I took a step forward, cocking my gun loud enough for his incompetent demeanor to shift. "You know who I speak of, Gilbert."

His lips rested in a thin line as he took me head on with his ruby-red gaze. I could see him processing his choices. My patience was warring thin. I didn't plan on blowing his brains out, but if he forced me to, I would not hold back.

"Madeline." He stated. "You're here for her."

I snorted -_as if that wasn't obvious._ "What else? Surely not for your company."

Gilbert nodded towards the gun in my hands. "That insists you're here to kill me."

"If my sister is not returned to me, then I might have to use it." I regarded the ill-fated man with a dangerous glare, having enough of his petty games. "Now speak."

The man that had once been my friend with a fiery gleam in his eye and a passion for trouble gave a hefty sigh and I could see first hand that this was no longer the same person. His shoulders dropped and he turned around. He tilted his head in the direction of his living room where the faint light of afternoon slithered into our vision. I moved to jab the barrel of my gun between his shoulder blades. "I don't have forever, Gilbert."

Gilbert took a step forward and glanced over his shoulder. "Well I do hope you have time for a story, because that's all you're gonna' get from me."

I ground my teeth with annoyance. "What are you saying?"

His blood-red eyes shone ominously in the light while a frown smoothed his lips. "I don't have her, but you still may have a chance at saving her."

I felt my heart skip as disbelief left my jaw slack and dumb. "Y-you don't..."

Gilbert gestured for me to follow him. "Come have a seat, please. I wouldn't want to keep you in the dark any longer."

I followed him into the living room numbly, my grip on my gun loosening. He sat down on a dusty old sofa and picked up the bottle of booze that had been waiting for him on the floor beside his feet. I stood across from him, not quite sure of what to do with myself or the information he'd already given me. If he didn't have her, then there was surely no time to waste. _But,_ I thought,_ at least she is alive. For now._ Gilbert took a long dreg from his bottle and set it back down. "Sit down." He uttered, resting a hand on the cushion beside himself. I stared at him hard, searching for any signs of threat or aggression. Those ruby orbs were dull and liquid, like an animal that had finally given in to death, void and distant. He waited for me to sit with a strenuous amount of patience. This didn't feel like him at all.

I hesitantly strode over and slowly sat down on the cushion. It was just as uncomfortable as it looked. At this point, I was surprised that a rat hadn't crawled out yet. I glanced over, lifting a brow. He had the bottle to his lips again, this time finishing it off with a loud gulp. "Did you take him?" I watched him rest the bottle back down again, his voice scratchy like sandpaper.

"Who?"

Gilbert leaned back into the cushion and set his palms on his knees. "The 'beast.'" He waved his hand in a passive gesture.

I held my hands together and stared down at them to keep my gaze from drifting astray. "I left him in the forest. He would have been more of a problem to keep under control than if I were to just confront you alone."

"A stubborn creature, isn't he?" Gilbert stated. He was quiet for a moment, calculating his next words. "I was never really a man of science, you know. Too many beakers and elixirs. I'm pretty good with my hands, so clocks and guns are more my style. I can understand a simple pattern of gears and mechanics, but put a frog on the table and I'm clueless." I heard a little chuckle surface at the end of his statement. "But work is hard to find sometimes." He waved his hand. "All of the real inventors flew off to the states like a flock of big fat geese with their heads so far up their asses that they couldn't see which way was what." I felt his gaze flick onto me, and returned my own. He gave me a long look before turning away. "You're just like them too, though I don't blame you. 'Tis the land of opportunity, right? What could go wrong?"

My eyebrows pinched together. "What does all of this have to do with me, Gil? You're testing my patience."

The albino gave another laugh and I felt his hand clap over my back. I glared at him until he removed it. "I've known that Arthur fellow for far longer than you have. I've done some things for him that I'm not so proud of, and nowadays, I can't help but feel that this whole mess is all my fault." I sensed his childish mood was warring thin, pushing the boundaries between drunken foolery and grave seriousness.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. "What are you saying, Gilbert? What is all of this madness?"

A smirk plastered itself across his face and I could see something flickering in his eyes; a memory perhaps? "He came to me when I was at my lowest, Al. My parents believed that I was a failure and my aunt and uncle thought I was unfit to take care of my younger brother. Do you know what they did then? They took him all the way to England, and I never saw him again after that. Yes he wrote, but only twice." His eyes flicked over to me, but he did not move his head. "A year ago, his letters stopped coming in, until I got I finally received one in the mail only a few months ago. My aunt and uncle never wanted to hear from me again. To make matters even more dreadful, my parents had stopped loaning money for my studies." His smirk pulled to reveal tightly gritted teeth, and I could smell the pungent odor of alcohol on his breath. "I was living just like a rat; scurrying from city to city, begging, stealing -whatever I could do to get by." Suddenly, his expression washed away, and became blank.

I waited with anticipation for him to say more, but he did not continue. He looked confused, as if even he was unsure of his own memories. There was a pause where he took a breath, before he finally continued with a much steadier voice. "Arthur found me sleeping in the street with the horse-muck and the mud. At first, I thought the man was some sort of a college big-shot, but once he told me his business in Germany, I became intrigued. He offered that I stay with him in England and gain my strength if I'd help him with his special 'experiment.' Of course I was a little hesitant at first, this man could be some sort of a psycho like that Jack the Ripper fellow, wanting to gut me like a fish and leave me to bleed out in the street. But when he showed me the money, I rolled over like a dog."

"He offered you money too?" I blurted out.

He nodded. "A good sum of it too. I could finish my studies and take care of my brother with that money. Hell, I could flip one to my parents while I was at it. So when he offered me his hand that day, I took it without question. He had me working as... oh... what is it you Englishmen call it..." He snapped his fingers to help himself along. "A... A grave robber! That's what it was. A grave robber I became. I snuck out in the cover of night and took from those who wouldn't miss what wasn't theirs anymore. Arthur said he needed all kinds of human remains, from arms and legs to organs; stomach, kidneys, liver -anything you could think of. I didn't question his motives, it was always some science malarkey that would probably confuse me even more. I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty as long as he wasn't afraid to pay. Oh boy, did he pay. For every new corpse I brought back he'd give me enough to travel across the whole damn world! Who needs some dumb old engineering job when all the money was in the grave robbing business?"

I knew that Arthur couldn't have done all of that work by himself, but I'd never imagine Gilbert doing so either. There was much more to Gilbert than I could have every foreseen. "You did all of that? You helped Arthur bring that monster to life?" I glared at him, fire suddenly filling my belly. "You gave him the supplies and didn't even think twice!?"

Gilbert held out his hands defensively. "Hey, hey, hey. I didn't know what the bastard was up to until the very end. It was already too late by the time he'd already built him." I could feel him shiver and he turned away again. "I can still remember that dreadful night. I was wandering through the tower in search of him, when I stumbled upon it. He found me frozen in his lab and forced me out. I tried to protest, but he argued that my assistance was no longer needed and that I was no longer welcome in his home. He threw me out just like that. I was forced to live alone again."

I could barely wrap my head around it all as it was, but he continued with his tale.

"But once Ivan had risen, that dog came crawling back to me -ME for help. 'Oh Gilbert, it's dreadful!'" He mimicked the scientist's voice with a mocking tone. "'It's awful! My creation has escaped! Oh Gilbert please help me! It wants to hurt my family, my wife Gilbert!' He was a two-faced devil and I knew it. I wasn't going to get in the middle of this mess again, but when he told me that he sent you out there to be rid of it, I knew that it would surely kill you. So I dragged my sorry ass all the way up to Russia in search of you and that _thing_."

"You were digging up graves in your spare time when I met you? But you said that you'd been a trapper all your life!"

He sighed and sunk into the sofa. "I never meant to fool you, Alfred. I just wanted all of this madness to end."

"So you kidnapped my sister and gave her to him!?" I clenched my fists with outrage.

He flinched. "I only-"

"No! You tricked me! I trusted you!" My eyes were burning now. "You took her from me, she never wanted any of this! She only joined me because she was worried about me!" I jabbed my finger in his face accusingly. "This is all your fault!"

He shrunk away to his side of the sofa. "Arthur said she was a part of this since the beginning. He wanted her to go along with you to catch that beast's eye."

I felt a pang in my chest, and my body began to shake. "W-what!?"

"She was supposed to steal the beast's heart so that he could lure it back to his doorstep. I told him not to, Al. I told him that it was too risky, but he wouldn't listen!"

"Where did he take her." I growled.

"I-I don't-"

"Don't make this any harder than it already is." I narrowed my gaze onto his.

He frowned. "Arthur has been continuing his studies in the abandoned Frankenstein castle... But I don't think that it's a good idea for you to go there. He'll be expecting you."

I rose to my feet and turned my back to him. "I don't need your advice."

"Please Alfred, you're my friend. Listen to me, you need to allow Ivan to go alone. If he gets his way then Madeline wont get hurt."

It took every ounce of strength within me to keep from lashing out at him. He was babbling nonsense. There was no way I could trust him a second time. "Goodbye, Gilbert." I let myself out without another word, slamming the rickety old door almost off its hinges behind myself.

* * *

><p>It wasn't difficult finding Ivan again. Of course he hadn't stayed exactly where I commanded, but at least he hadn't followed me. I found him sulking in the forest as he normally spent his time. He was sitting on the ground with his head against a tree.<p>

"Get up, monster. We're leaving for Arthur's immediately." I approached him with my hands stuffed into my pockets.

There was a long drawn out period of silence, and I huffed. "Come on, stop your sulking and get up. We haven't got time for this." I nudged him in the back with the heel of my boot.

Ivan's shoulders buckled and he quickly turned his head to look at me. I drew back a few steps and my breath caught in my throat. His face was flecked with crimson, and there were clear streaks running down his cheeks. I felt my stomach churning as his eyes stared directly into mine, his pupils minuscule and piercing. His clothes were painted with a similar scene, and clumps of hair stuck to his hands and forearms. I stared at him in a mixture of both horror and disgust. "What... what did you do?!"

He just stared at me, unblinking. I noticed that his eyes were not filled with malice nor hate, but regret. "Sh-she found me..." He muttered in a broken voice. "I didn't know what to d-do... she was screaming so loud... I didn't... I couldn't..."

My eyes wandered past the tree he was positioned in front of, and that was when I saw it. There was an awful sting of iron in the air as I slowly walked towards the gory scene. A small body lie in the brush, blood spattered all over the surrounding foliage. I choked up as I beheld the body that had been torn and beaten like a rag doll. It was a little girl, not much older than nine. Her short blonde hair had been ripped and gnarled in what looked to be a struggle for her life. I couldn't force back the images of my little sister with the similar fate. This girl's similarities towards her younger self were uncanny, almost chillingly so. I quickly shut my eyes and turned away from it. As I strode back to where Ivan sit, I could hear his moaning. I opened my eyes slowly, taking deep shaky breaths to calm my heart. He was gripping his head and rapping it into the tree repeatedly, rocking forward and backwards. I watched him, my expression blank.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured, his voice cracking. "I-I'm so s-sorry..."

I calmly stepped beside him and lowered myself down to my knees. He was quivering and weeping like a child that had wronged his father and was now awaiting punishment. I observed this, before extending my hand out to rest it on his back. Ivan continued to rock as I rubbed his shoulder in a soothing matter. Sympathy. That was one thing I had never imagined myself feeling for such an awful creature. But after today's events, even I couldn't help but part with a few moments of pity. With my other hand, I reached into my pocket to retrieve my handkerchief.. "Clean yourself up. We have to leave now."

Ivan shook his head. "Go." He hiccuped. "Go save Madeline. Leave me to rot here where I belong."

I sighed, reaching out to rub the tears and blood from his cheek. "I need your help."

"Why? Why do you need me?" Ivan's eyes flicked over to me. They were unpredictable, a smoldering mass of the unknown.

I grunted and held the cloth still a few inched from his face. "That bastard wants to bring the fight to his door, and we're going to give it to him. I want him to pay for his crimes both against humanity and towards Madeline."

His eyes widened and he lifted his head from the bark of the tree. I took my chance to clean off his face while he stared at me, utterly dumbfounded. "We shall bring him hell." I growled.


	22. Fallen Angel

**Notes:**

* * *

><p>Chapter 22, aka the chapter you have all been waiting for! -<em>or at least I hope some of you have...<em>

Resume.

* * *

><p>As we approached our destination, we had to trudge up the slight incline of hills surrounded by a thick patch of forest. Time had become lost between morning and afternoon after storm clouds had blown overhead, cloaking my companion and I in scattered showers and shadow. This forest, unlike the ones I had once found refuge in, felt haunted and dark. My stomach churned as I glanced up to the sky ahead, where the tip of a stone tower stretched effortlessly towards the heavens. Alfred told me that his ability to hunt was impeccable, and that he was almost sure that this was where Arthur's tracks led. He was right. I could feel it now, the evil presence of that dreaded man; my father and creator. Just knowing that he was still drawing breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand upright. My teeth ground with anxiety and fear. I hadn't felt like this until we'd entered Germany only a few weeks ago. That was when a sense of dread had spread throughout my body, rattling my bones and sending me into a pit of madness. Everything that moved and every little sound put me on edge. I could tell that Alfred was growing uneasy with my presence just as I was with the natural world.<p>

My eyes flickered onto the surrounding forest with a sense of distrust as the branches seemed to animate, casting long black shadows over the land. Each one of them sported an evil grin of their own, as their jagged fingers skittered against each other in the unrelenting wind, teasing at my sanity. I shut my eyes tight and took a deep breath, blocking out their malevolent faces. My stride carried me astray, and I felt myself come into contact with another body.

"Hey! Watch where you're walking!" Alfred snapped, nudging me back into place.

I hesitantly opened my eyes and frowned. "Sorry..." My gaze still lingered on the trees as I caught my footing again. The trees returned to their normal inanimate forms... for now...

"Are you sure you aren't tired? You aren't as determined as usual." Alfred said, turning to view my expression.

I blinked my eyes a few times to relieve the burning behind them and shook my head. "No, we must keep moving. She... awaits..." My body forced a yawn which I fought to contain, failing miserably so. "She is waiting for us..." I finished.

Alfred turned back to the path ahead. "Well we're going to have to stop soon, I have to take a leak."

"You and your weak bladder." I shot back, although now it just seemed like I was mumbling everything.

Alfred snorted. "You aren't much better, what with your moping about. At least I get things done when we stop."

I scoffed and turned my head in the opposite direction. _I hardly call it moping..._

As we stopped for Alfred to relieve himself, I could definitely feel my fatigue begin to take over me. I fought with it tooth and nail, but the minute that Alfred had stepped away, my eyes were already closing. The notches in my back made small cracking sounds as I flopped onto the wet earth and released a heavy sigh.

When he returned, it felt as if an hour had passed. I must have fallen asleep, because I'd been jolted back into consciousnesses by his voice. "Hey! Wake up! We've still got about two hours until sunset. We can get within a close proximity of the castle before then if we get moving!" He nudged my shoulder and I swung back up to my feet.

"Yes... of course..." I rubbed my bleary eyes and blinked a few times to focus. Without allowing myself another moment to fall back into a dream state, I shuddered back into motion. Alfred was once again at my side and we pushed on.

I didn't quite understand why we hadn't stopped Gilbert and Arthur in the east, but I assumed that it must be the young man's bizarre ability to sense others and their locations that had led us here. He had been successful in finding me, so I put faith in him. He was our only compass in this unfamiliar world.

It was only about an hour before we decided to stop to recollect our thoughts and plan out our initial attack a few long paces from the castle. Alfred placed his gun up against a tree and hung our supplies up on a branch to keep them from getting drenched on the ground. He sat down on a fallen tree, which was damp from the weather and had the majority of its bark stripped from it over time. I did not wish to sit down in fear of falling asleep again, and leaned on a nearby tree to face him. My eyes traveled down to the ground below to avoid making eye contact with him. He never seemed comfortable with my gaze.

"Are you ready?" Alfred asked. I glanced up momentarily, then back down at my boots. Of course I wasn't, I would never truly be ready to face him. Even if it pained me knowing how much neglect he had shown me, I still couldn't bring myself to stare him in the face. I could feel it inside; I wanted to bash his skull against a wall and see how much brain matter and blood it would produce, but another part of me was too afraid to even approach the castle. He had Madeline within his evil clutches, I should be more than capable of breaking away from my fears and tearing him apart for her. But even the thought of him made me cringe. I did not want to be afraid anymore.

"I am unsure." I stated, tracing my eyes over a fallen leaf. "He is my father."

Alfred snorted. "What a father he was to you. It was his fault that you were brought into this world, was it not?"

I frowned and dug my heel into the soft earth below my feet. That could so easily be his chest beneath my boot. The crack of bone resounded in my ears with eerie familiarity, before I glanced up to Alfred. "It is hard to explain. I guess I have reason to thank him, right? He was the one who brought animation to my body and allowed me another life. Is that not what god does for your kind?"

Alfred's deep blue eyes were narrowed, I could see just how tired he was within the deep lines carved into his cheeks and hooking beneath his eyes. His youth seemed to have been compromised by this whole endeavor. Sleep was definitely a seldom privilege for the both of us. "That man is no god, nor is he any kind of a father. He kidnapped my sister, and would gladly kill you in cold blood."

"It's me who he wants... why would he harm her?" I felt a pang in my chest at the very thought. "Why must harm become of anyone but I?"

The blonde grumbled and shook his head. "You don't get it. This world is cruel to everyone. Do you think our parents deserved to die when we were so young? It was an unfortunate, but they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were the one that brought us into this, and we must pay the toll to get our way out. Everyone must."

I gritted my teeth. "Madeline did him no harm."

"It's my fault." Alfred stated calmly, catching me off guard.

I cocked a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I could have turned Arthur down when he offered to pay us a fortune for your head. I could have just as easily walked out as I had wandered in. But the pay was good, and I was blinded by the aspect of a golden future." He sighed. "I neglected Madeline until it was too late. She'd fallen into your care, and from there on my hand was forced to yield. I was supposed to kill you before spring came, but I couldn't."

A cloud of regret had surrounded him, cascading through the air. "You should have." I murmured quietly.

Alfred shook his head solemnly. "Gilbert told me everything... He told me that he had helped Arthur create you. That he'd been a graverobber for him."

I was struck with surprise, and my stomach twisted into a knot. "You... you spoke to Gilbert!? When? But... Arthur was the one who gathered the supplies, he'd written it in his own script!"

Alfred closed his eyes and held his hand up in a pausing gesture. "I thought it best that I was the one to confront him. If you'd heard what I did, you would have twisted the dumb rat's neck. Gilbert was still my friend, just a damn poor son of a bitch in need of money like me."

My gaze hardened and I clenched my fist instinctively, as if just the mention of my potential outrage filled me with fury. "What did he say? Tell me now."

"Just to remind you, we can't just run in there blind if you get pissed, alright?. It's for Madeline's sake." He stated flatly, gesturing with his hands to help assist his point.

I ground my teeth together with anticipation. "Go on."

Alfred took a deep breath and held it for a moment, selecting his words carefully. "It was before I even knew any of this, if I'd picked up on it earlier, I would have killed the mad-man right then and there. But... well, when Arthur got wind that you were no longer in England, he began to send out other men to hunt for you. He knew that he'd brought a great evil into this world, and that something must be done about it. Of course now I know he wasn't a man to get his hands dirty. But when he'd offered me the job, he never told me that my sister was also a part of this 'master plan' he had thought out." The blonde wiped his face with his sleeve, although his eyes had not become red yet. "Madeline was going to stay with relatives while I left... she wasn't supposed to come... but I convinced her to. It's all my fault that she's like this... All of this is my fault..." Now the tears began to flow, but not until his eyes had ripened to their fullest extent.

I did not remove my gaze from his, even when he would not meet my own. A dark cluster had formed in my belly, a yawning abyss of knowing. Something whispered to me, silent but all too loud.

"You were supposed to fall in love with her so that he could then use her to kill you. He didn't hire me for my expertise, he wanted my beautiful sister instead." Alfred said, his tone as black as night, and dripping with despair.

At that moment, I felt my chest constrict, as if everything I had felt was now tearing its way from my damned flesh. Of all the wicked tricks and lies that life had played on me, all of the pain and dejection I'd felt, was no match towards this dreadful feeling. It was as if I'd known it from the very start. As if I'd already accepted my eventual passion-fueled demise. I reached up and grabbed my head, rattling it to free the crawling, to release this awful ocean of emotion that had washed over me. My breathing quickened and I fell to my knees. "She...Sh-she..."

"She was never any part of it, she was just as clueless as you and I." Alfred murmured, a weak salve for my blistering wounds.

"How? How could he know? How did he know that I would love her? What if I had killed her instead? What if I killed the both of you?" My gaze shot up to his. "What would he do then? Send another female? Hope that I didn't kill that one too!?"

Alfred's eyebrows pinched together and he leaned closer to his gun. "Stop it, you're going mad."

"How could he have possibly known that Madeline would love me?!" My voice came out in a cry of betrayal.

Alfred's expression was tight as he tried his best to keep from snapping at me, "Maybe it was a lucky guess? Who cares? All that matters is that we have to save her before any harm comes of her. Can you put that all aside for now? Soon he will be dead and none of that will even matter anymore."

I stood up straight and shook my head. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going!? We have to prepare for tomorrow!" Alfred's voice called out, but it fell flat as I strode out of earshot. My head was too much of a mess right now, I just needed a moment to think things through.

Alfred did not argue again as I wandered off, my fists clenched. Before, I had thought of my emotions as a swirling whirlpool of chaos, something that was almost impossible to tame, by now I had already given up containing them, but now it was much worse. I wasn't sure if I wanted to feel betrayed, angry, or saddened. My mind was clouded with fatigue, covering the seas of dread and all of their demons with a shroud. I needed sleep terribly, but my will burned on.

I stopped a few kilometers away from the castle and glanced up at it, frowning. Everything inside me wanted to hurt him, to finish what had started many moons ago. But fear, _crippling_ fear, kept me at bay. I thought of Madeline to sooth myself, imagining her back within my grasp, her skin so soft and warm. Yes, that was what drew me forward. I took a deep breath and held it for a long time, before releasing it in a low huff. "I'm going to save you, my solntse..."

"Oho? And how do you propose you will go about doing that?" A voice from behind sent awful chills down my spine, stilling the air in my lungs. My eyes were wide with a sudden rush of adrenaline.

"Creator..." I murmured, forcing back my fear and replacing it with red-hot fury.

"Creation." His voice answered.

I slowly turned around, preparing myself for anything. What I saw forced a pang into my chest. "M-Madeline!" Her name burst forth from my lips, erasing any cool exterior I had tried to build.

There he stood, that damnable man with his hand clasped firmly around my beloved's mouth, his other hand clenched around a thin dirk. It may have only been a few months since I've seen her, but now as I saw her before me, it felt like decades. She was no longer the independent woman that had taken care of me from day to day; she was so fragile and helpless now. My knuckles whitened as I made another fist, my eyes tracing over from her to his face. "So we meet again." Arthur teased. "You look... unwell. What's wrong, beast? Getting a bit weary?"

I shot daggers at him, disgust clear across my face. "You know what ails me, Kirkland. Hand her over."

A smirk played across his lips. "Why would I do that? What with you here before me now, I have both instruments within my hands!" He raised the knife up to her face. "Isn't that right, dear?"

My gaze flicked onto her, and I felt my heart sink. Her beautiful violet eyes were wide with horror as the metal pressed against her cheek. The most awful sounds came from her clasped lips, and her nostrils flared. It took every ounce within me to restrain myself. She let out a long whine as tears clung to her eyelashes.

"Don't you dare."

Another voice entered the clearing and I glanced over my shoulder. I released a silent breath of relief. Alfred must have come in search of me, for he was now standing only a few feet behind with his gun pointed straight at Arthur and Madeline.

His eyes were narrowed and hard on the scientist. "Give her over."

My attention was brought back onto my enemy as a dark laugh resonated through the trees. Out in the distance I could hear the clap of thunder, and the sky seemed to darken with each passing moment. The heavy scent of rain filled my nostrils and uncertainty twinged in the back of my skull. Something was amiss.

"Dear Alfred, you didn't really think that I wanted you for your 'skill', did you?" Arthur snickered, pressing the knife harder on Madeline's porcelain cheek. My footing shifted as I felt the urge to charge up and grab the knife away while he was distracted.

"I know your original intents, Kirkland. Your wish has been fulfilled, now allow Madeline and I to return to our lives. This is a quarrel between you and him."

"Ah, so that german lad let the cat out of the bag, did he? He was always so naive..." Arthur had a pondering expression for a moment before he shrugged. "No matter. He will be dealt with later. Now," he began, "you will lower your barrel and tie up our grotesque friend here." He motioned with his head towards me and I felt darkness collect in my belly. I allowed my eyes to stray back to the young man, unable to hide the hope held within them. _He can't possibly do this. Arthur won't release her unless we strike here and now. Shoot!_ I urged mentally. _Pull the damn trigger!_

Alfred bit back and gave the other male a distrustful look. "Release her first."

_Please._ I begged.

Arthur chuckled, and Madeline released another squeak as he held her tighter. "That, dear boy, I cannot do. You see, while that monster is still free, he proves quite a threat. Such bothersome things should be avoided, yes?" He said, "If you would like to see your sister alive, I suggest you lower your weapon." This time his tone was threatening, sending cold chills through my body.

A cool spot formed on my nose and I blinked with surprise. I turned my head up to the sky, presumably where it had originated. A light drizzle had begun to fall, creating a symphony of pitter-patter among the trees. Another flash of lightning filled the sky quite a ways out, burning the shadows of Madeline and Arthur into my vision.

There was the sound of crunching leaves from over my shoulder, and my spine stiffened. Was he coming for me? Did he actually listen to this madman's rambling? I prayed he wasn't so ignorant.

"I cannot." Alfred said, releasing a twinge of tension.

"Why not? Are you so cowardice, Jones?" Arthur tilted his head.

My eyes locked onto Madeline's as the two conversed, sending silent messages. All I could observe within the twisting current of her pupils was the thickest of fears. It was so volatile I'd almost contracted it by a single glance. She was pleading with me, begging to be released. I wanted to grant whatever she most desired, but this one request would have to go unfulfilled; for now, I hope.

"She wouldn't forgive me." Her brother's voice rung like bells in my ears and I had to close my eyes.

"Forgive you? I don't believe she will be doing anything of the sort with a dagger in her chest." Responded Arthur.

"Have my gun- have anything. Just leave her be." Alfred's rifle landed with a useless thud on the ground a few inches from my feet. I glanced back where he was now spreading his arms out. "Let her go. Please."

"You have nothing to offer me, you pitiful whelp. Bind the beast now, or I will not think twice! Do not test me!" I gasped as a thin dribble of blood ran down Madeline's fair cheek, produced by the end of his blade. Her breathing quickened as she released a pained cry.

"You monster!" I barked.

His laughter drowned out my rage. "What a name from your mouth! What is it _you_ are then? An abomination? A murderer? Or perhaps you prefer _Ivan_...?" The scientist's emerald gaze flickered with malice, "It is the name of all those things combined, right? Of a criminal? A woman killer?"

A pulse of fury awakened within me and I threw my hand down to grab Alfred's gun.

None too soon, I heard Madeline cry out. "Ah, ah, ah!" My hand repelled from the weapon as my attention shot onto her in an instant. Tears were streaming down her face as her muffled cries broke the air. Now the dirk was pressed to her neck, readied to slit her throat. "Naughty boy! Naughty, naughty, boy! There shall be no playing with guns!"

I held my tongue still and my mouth and stiffened, not daring to move or even speak in fear that it would result in her demise. Now I grew impatient with these games.

There was the sound of Alfred's pack hitting the ground, and I heard him shuffling through its contents. Arthur's gaze was no longer on mine, but now clung to Alfred with cool seriousness. His expression was fierce and threatening as I heard the young man foraging through his bag. Uncertainty sprung within me as a gleam of humor sparkled in the twisted man's eye. "Good lad. I'm glad you've finally decided to obey."

It only took me a moment to realize what was happening; there were footsteps approaching from behind. I swallowed hard and kept very still as I felt the rough braids of rope brush over my hand. Alfred drew one hand away from my side and held it at my back and then slowly drew the other. I took calm, even breaths as he did so, praying that this would prevent any harm from coming to Madeline. Arthur's eyes were glued onto mine as the whole scene unfolded, and a wicked smile drew his lips upwards once again. "At long last. You are finally mine." He rejoiced.

I said nothing, I did nothing. I just waited.

His grip on Madeline did not waver as he took a step forward, forcing her to do so as well. "You have your prize! Now give me my sister!" Alfred drew a step as well, standing straight beside me.

Arthur made as if the other man had never even existed, his attention solely focused onto me. I did not waver under his prying eyes, but searched them for anything, humanity -or what it had once been-, compassion, empathy, a _soul_... As expected, I found absolutely nothing. Nothing but fragments of a broken mind, and perhaps hatred... no, that wasn't hatred, was it disappointment? Even now, did he still hold onto what should have been? Something that was not this hulking failure that stood before him?

"You remember what you did, don't you." Surprisingly, his voice was not hostile, but took on another mood entirely. It was grief-stricken.

I narrowed my eyes in question.

He scowled. "Francine had gone off with Peter, I asked that she stay home, but you know how women are," he waved his hand off in a dismissive manner, "carrying on. My Francine and Peter were to visit her family in Europe while I was left here to 'rest' and 'gain my councils'. It was a Saturday if I recall correctly, when she hopped into her carriage with our boy and paraded off into the countryside. I believe you know of the rest, daemon." There was a bitter sting to his voice which forced images into my brain, memories I had wished to forget.

My gaze fell far from Madeline's, while my mouth was sealed shut.

"Tell me, then. Own up to your crimes now, or watch your love be stripped from you as it has for me!" He pressed.

I slowly turned back to her, my expression stoic. She stared at me expectantly, fear glazing her eyes. I never wanted her to know, it was one of my most shameful and self-indulging moments. "I killed her." I finally stated.

Arthur's expression was smug and bleak all at the same time. "That's not all, fiend. Tell sweet Madeline here_ how_ you did it. Tell her how you massacred my wife and child!"

I looked him square in the face and beside myself, gave a malevolent smile. "I knew I couldn't let your family go unpunished for your faults. No. When I saw your wife cradling that little bastard son, I knew that it would hurt you more than death ever could." I shrugged with indifference, "so I did as any other damned beast would do, and twisted her delicate little neck. Your son wasn't hard to deal with either, he was only a year or two of age... so small, so incredibly helpless..." I let out a breathy laugh. "He didn't even cry. _For long..._"

Madeline squealed beside Arthur as the man's hold on the weapon shook. If it was fury or fear that had caused this loss of control, it was left unclear. Arthur scrunched up his nose in disgust. "Then y-you will learn what it is like." His voice shook, and he took a deep breath to steady himself, "You will understand what REAL pain is like!" With one swift motion, he pressed his weapon into Madeline's throat and ripped through it with a clean strike. My eyes widened with horror and my whole body chilled as I realized what he'd done. Her choked cry was cut off by a wave of blood rapidly filling her lungs. He released her and held up both arms. The ground was spattered in crimson as she crumpled into a defeated heap, and I heard Alfred scream. My eyes turned onto my creator in utter shock.

Arthur stood tall, seemingly pleased with his accomplishment. Although, I could tell there was a hint of tears in his emerald gaze. "There!" He exclaimed, "It is done!"

My breathing quickened as my fear quickly returned and I forced my binds apart. The rope tore without effort. My knees wobbled and then gave out. I lifted her head up off the earth and scrambled to cover up the gushing wound with my other hand. Her eyes were locked onto mine as she struggled to breathe. She reached weakly towards me and I took her hand into my own, squeezing it tightly. "N-no... Do not strain... You'll be okay... You'll be okay!" The dams behind my eyes burst and I let out a bellowing sob. I reached beneath her and pulled her up close to comfort her, my emotions spilling over her chest. "I'm here now... I-I'll never let you go."

Her touch was weak, like the skittering of an insect upon my face. "Ivan..." Her voice was much weaker, like the falling of an angel.

I pressed my face into her bosom and curled her around me, blending her delicate scent with mine. "Please..." I whispered, "Please stay with me."

Her breath was rugged as she tried to speak, but failed, releasing only a few broken notes. I hiccuped as her hand fell back to the earth, and her body grew limp. "No!" I shouted, pulling my head up to view her dying frame. "No! Don't go!" I screamed.

Madeline's expression wavered, softening into inanimation like clay. The last thing to die were those beautiful eyes... I wished to stare into them for centuries; to pull the life back into them for another moment more. When I realized that there was nothing left behind those captivating mirrors, I felt my heart sink into my stomach. She was dead weight within my arms.

A new flame kindled inside me, a feeling very much unfamiliar to me. One that I had hoped to contain, but one that held an odd calm. I carefully set her back down onto the damp earth and rose to my feet. Arthur stood with the murder weapon still clasped in his hand, his expression sly. "Do you feel it? The anguish of having your soul ripped from your mortal casing?" He asked eagerly.

I slowly blinked my eyes and gritted my teeth. "You." My fists clenched again. "You will pay the final sum that you owe me."

"A sum that _I_ owe _you_?!" He laughed.

I bunched my muscles up and nodded. "You owe me _retribution_." The word was alien in my maw, but so sure, so sincere, I knew what it meant within my very being.

Before Arthur could even retort, I lunged myself forward to clobber him. His eyes flashed with surprise as I grabbed onto him, throwing the both of us to the ground. A cruse flew from his mouth as I pressed my knee into his chest, leaning my face close to his. "You owe me one human life." I hissed.

He narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth. "I already gave you one too many!"

A howl broke from my throat as I felt his blade pierce my leg. I stumbled off of him and he scrambled to his feet. Arthur glowered at me for a moment before turning to run back in the direction of the tower. I struggled to stand and ripped the blade free from my thigh, tossing it out into the woods. "Creator!" I roared.

Thunder clapped over head as I began my pursuit, my gaze hard on his fleeting form. I wouldn't let him get away this time. Not again. My superior strength was waning in this dire time, my fatigue tying me down. Arthur knew I couldn't go on for much longer. He was intending on my surrender. I pushed myself harder with each fleeting breath, channeling all of my regret and all of my sorrow into fury, into resolute.

Arthur's coat tails were the last thing to disappear as he turned around a corner into the courtyard of the castle. I stumbled as I came to an immediate stop and whipped around the corner as well. My eyes flicked around in all directions as I tried to locate him again. It was almost like magic; he'd disappeared out of thin air. Such witchcraft should have been expected from a man capable of creating life. I took a few steps forward and surveyed my surroundings, searching every nook and cranny.

This place was unsettling to say the least, even for me. It was very unlike the halls of my creation. Castle Frankenstein seemed to hold apparitions within the very stones of its structure. Shadows danced and the raindrops echoed along with one's own breath. This wasn't the cradle of life... this was the casket of death...

A sudden presence behind me broke my thoughts, and I gasped in surprise. How had he traveled so quickly!? Before I could react, something sharp pierced my jugular and I cried out in pain. I heard his maddening laughter as his footsteps hurried off in the opposite direction. In a panic, I reached over my shoulder to locate the object. I wrapped my fingers around the thin glass weapon and drew it out of my neck. It was light in my palm and by the looks of it, empty. A syringe...

I threw it down to the ground, creating a ripple in the air of shattering glass. Nevertheless, I continued my chase with regained vigor. Within moments, I caught sight of him again as he slipped into the main entrance, and made due to follow close behind. Before me was a long spiraled stair leading to the upper floors, Arthur had already begun to scale it when I took the first step -three stairs in comparison to his meager one-. The windows lining the walls let in a dim light of what was left of the day, now consumed with storm clouds. Every now and then there would be a torch in its hilt along the wall to give light to the lonely halls. It was obvious that this was another challenge of my stamina and will. He wanted so desperately to break me. I would prove to him that no rest was short enough to entice me, not when I was so close to my revenge.

My charge was cut short as a misstep flung me forward, and I tripped just before the highest floor, falling heavily onto the stone. The wind had been knocked out of my lungs, and a dull ache resulted from the contact. I was already breathing heavily, and my body screamed for a break. With a grunt, I forced myself back to my feet, but everything began to spin out of control. It felt as if a film of water had been cast over my eyes and my head was full of lead. The world spun and swirled as Arthur stopped running, and approached me. I fought to regain my bearings, but my body was drunken and woozy; completely useless. There was an evil grin upon those lips, one that sent chills trickling up my spine.

"Ah, finally, I thought the drugs would never take hold, given your massive size." He strolled up to me as if he was but an onlooker observing a statue. I gritted my teeth and swayed out towards him, reaching weakly to grab him by his puny neck. Alas, he easily evaded my grip and took a step back. "There is no use fighting it now, monster. You have lost. You're _mine_ now." I snarled and tried again, although this time I almost tipped myself over. My arm shot out to the wall and I struggled to hold myself up. I focused my gaze on Arthur, willing myself to stay awake. _I have to, he'll kill me... if I do not..._

His toothy smile quivered as he laughed a deep, dark laugh. "Not so tough now are we? Oh..." He tisked in feigned concern, "you poor creature. So tired..." I blinked my eyes furiously to regain my sight as I struggled to focus on him. My eyes kept running towards the floor, too cowardice to even meet his head on. "Here," Arthur raised his leg up and I felt my spine stiffen with sudden realization. "allow me to lay you to rest!" I had only a moment to brace myself before his foot struck the side of my face. A gasp escaped my lips and I staggered heavily to my side, but did not fall. I tightened my hold on the wall and threw my head up again. Now my head was pounding, and my gaze was scattered with colors, but one set was unmistakable. I narrowed my eyes onto them.

"Is that all you've got, creator?"

Rage poured over his expression, but I could still see the outline of shock at his failed attempt to knock me out. He raised his fists for another assault, but I was much too quick for him. I thrust my fist forward into his temple. "I believe it is my turn, maker!"

Arthur released a howl and quickly reached up to tend to his throbbing head. I felt the life returning to my limbs once more in a second wave of adrenaline, this time it was potent like serpent's venom in my veins. It was mere seconds before I had the chance to land another blow. Unfortunately, in the process, he had seized my slight hesitation as a perfect opportunity to retreat further into the room and grab a knife from his dissection table. He flicked it up at me threateningly as he cradled his injured head with the other hand.

"I should have killed you while I had the chance!" He hissed.

I slowly inched my way inside and stood up straighter, bathing him in my towering shadow. "You were too cowardice to look me in the face; the very fruit of your labors."

He charged towards me, but I evaded him easily, causing him to trip up a few steps. Arthur caught himself and flipped back over to me. His eyes were wild with murderous lust. "It was a mistake I should have fixed long ago. An unfortunate flaw." He said, his voice sharp like the very weapon he wielded.

He tried again, and yet again he missed, but this, unlike his other follies, would be his gravest mistake of all. Before he could turn back, I forced him against the wall and pushed him roughly into the cold stone. I grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. "The real flaw lies within you!" I wrapped my fingers around his throat and lifted him up off the ground. The clatter of his knife hitting the floor echoed within the nearly silent room, failing him just as he had me. "Look now upon the havoc you have wrought upon this mortal face!" I tightened my grip on his throat, feeling the connection through his artery weaken and his windpipe narrow. His life was so easy to take away, his bones so brittle. I could end him now, but in that, I would end his suffering. "Only I could know grief such as that you could never imagine!"

Arthur squirmed in my grasp, his malevolent expression wavering. Fear clouded his eyes; fear I'd seen long ago, but recognized as if it had only been the previous day. "I should not have created you." He choked out. "You're a monstrosity."

I gritted my teeth and rattled him. "But you did! You brought life to my hallow corpse and made a _grave_ mistake!" I leaned my head closer to his, pressing the back of his skull against the stone wall. His trembling was something to scoff at. He was a coward and nothing more. If he'd wanted me dead before now, he would have killed me himself. He'd spared my life for so long, long enough for me to open my eyes and see. I'd seen the world for its ugly properties, its paved path of misfortune and suffering; I'd even had the pleasure to see what mercy was like. To feel love and compassion. This was a world unfit for such a creature as I, and he had forged me together knowing so. I was no 'new race', I was but a failure in the image of man. "Now, I will show you what it is like to suffer as I have."

Arthur's emerald gaze flickered with anger. "You have already shown me suffering. I know heartache that no man should withstand." He growled out.

I laughed, a raspy chuckle that dragged out like ropes burning through my throat. It was an awful sensation, but one I welcomed with a sense of familiarity and malice. "The type of heartache that you have bestowed upon me is known to no man, not even yourself. You deserted me, left me alone and helpless in this unforgiving world. I stumbled upon hatred and disdain everywhere I've tread. And what do you do now? You snuff out the only light I could find in this dark, dark, world." I reached up for the torch resting in its mount on the wall and brought it down to his face. Now I could see the pale glitter of sweat running down his face, gleaming in the orange light. His eyes reflected my own and I could see the horrifying evil within my expression. It did not scare me as it once would have. I was a monster, and so was he.

"P-please, I didn't know what I was doing when I created you..." His voice was shrill now, dropping from his evil tone. It seemed almost innocent in its intent, pleading to the very core... I almost allowed myself to feel such things towards him, but I quickly snapped out of it. This man was far from innocence. That had been something long since dead within his soul, and perhaps now within my own.

He let out a short fearful sound as I blew out the flame, plunging the room in perpetual darkness. The stench of smoke filled the air and I released my hold on his throat, toppling him to the floor. "Now you get to experience the horrors of the blackest night, a blind creature in a world of unfairness! Face me fiend! Kill what you have brought forth from the womb of death!"

Arthur gasped and sputtered for air on the cold stone flooring, like the worm he was. I glared down at his body squirming around to gain his footing. Another laugh spilled forth from my throat and I stomped my foot beside his head, causing him to gasp. "Stand Kirkland! Face me!"

Arthur's face scrunched up with disgust. "You are so unappreciative of the gift that I've bestowed upon you. Now you wish to kill your father? What an awful wretch you are." He slowly rose to his feet, wobbling from side to side. I watched as he shook before me, feelings his words sting like mere insects.

"You are no father of mine!" I drew my fist forward, making contact with his face.

He yelped in pain and fell to his knees. I held my hands limply at my sides, flexing my knuckles. "You know what I did, monster?" His voice was lined with laughter, sounding liquid in his throat. I narrowed my eyes at him. A thin stream of crimson began to trickle from his nostrils, leaving his now crooked nose. His teeth shone white like those of a predator as thunder clapped overhead. A sense of unease entered my mind as I awaited his voice. "That girl, Madeline, she was a doll wasn't she?" He snickered.

Just the mention of her name boiled my blood. I dug my fingernails into my palms with fury. "Do not speak of that name."

His expression became smug and he stood up again. "So your heart_ is_ capable of love?" He took a step forward, entering my breathing space. I felt a chill run down my spine. "That's what it is, isn't it? Love?"

I lurched forward to grab him, but he quickly evaded me. This just enraged me more. I caught myself heavily and turned towards him, now behind me. "You monster."

"I'd thought much about the emotional impact your rebirth may have had on you. I feared that you may become unstable or even expire under the pressure..." I began to shake as he spoke, feeling the tide of power leave me once more. He was taking control again. "I even questioned your capabilities of empathy, of compassion. Clearly it was only instinct that attracted you towards that girl." He shrugged as if pity was too much for his sophisticated mind. "You sought out a female, and when one reared her lovely face, you couldn't help but fall for it. She was a kind girl, much too kind for her own good." He tisked. "Twas a shame."

I growled and charged towards him again, this time catching my hand on his collar. "You shut your miserable mouth!" I was breathing heavily now, my eyes burning with the threat of tears. "Sh-she was more than just some toy... some offering to your brutal god." I reached up to touch his face with my bloodied hand, snaking trails of red, _beautiful_ red, down his face. Arthur gritted his teeth and snarled at me. Her blood was still warm on my hands, and now it was smeared all over her killer as well. "Madeline was the first human to show me compassion," I paused to swallow the bile in my throat and steady my voice. "She showed me how to love." My hand traced down to his chest and I held it there. "Something you are incapable of feeling."

I pulled my fist back and threw it into his ribs. Arthur struggled to hold back another cry of pain as he dangled in my grasp. A crack filled the stagnant air just as thunder boomed again outside. He coughed, sending flecks of crimson all over my clothing. "You bigoted demon!" Arthur glared at me, taking quick shallow breaths. "Kill me! End it now!" He shouted.

I snarled at him and slammed his back into the table at my side, knocking over all kinds of beakers and paperwork. Glass shattered on the floor, and he reached up to pry my hand from his throat. "A quick death is too good for you!" I rubbed my bloodied hand in his face again, making sure every bit of it was covered. "You should die slowly just as she had!"

He spit out a mixture of her blood and his own. "Finish it!"

I reached over him for the pair of surgical scissors hidden amongst the other instruments. He stopped fighting back as I brought it up to his face, pointing the blades at his left eye. "I should gouge out your eyes one by one!"

Arthur laughed, now a liquid sound. "Then I wont have to see that atrocious face!"

I drew the scissors up, releasing his neck to grip them steadily with both hands. "I will unmake you!" I swung my arms down in one swift motion, boring them several inches into his chest and splashing droplets of hot blood onto my face and forearms. A choked gurgling sound escaped his throat as he began to convulse. I released the tool of death and slumped backwards onto my backside. Arthur struggled to breathe, gasping and twitching. "Fra-Francine..." The choked name of his wife escaped his lips, drowned out by a tide of blood. It wouldn't be long before he stopped moving. I'd penetrated his dark heart once and for all.

Even now, it felt too merciful to allow him an escape. I wanted to escape with him, to pull the scissors from his chest and replace them into my own. He was vanquished, but I was still left here to suffer alone.

I ducked my head into my trembling hands and began to weep. I'd reaped retribution for the death of my beloved and sated my eternal blood-lust upon the man I'd hated the most, but now I was left orphaned and empty. This didn't feel right. Up until now I'd been so sure that his end would bring me happiness and would release me of my suffering. My gentle soul had finally been reaped of its final glimmer of light; my transformation was complete. I had finally become a mindless ghoul, fatherless, and unloving.

My eyes slowly raised again and I arose. The weight of guilt had filled my chest, making it difficult to stand. I felt as if I was drunk, my vision swimming and dipping. Arthur's corpse lie slumped up against the table, a pool of blood beginning to form beneath him. I averted my eyes from the gruesome scene and turned my attention towards the glass pane of the window. A flash of white stung my eyes and I closed them. A thought wormed its way into my mind like a parasite.

It was evil... I thought. I couldn't possibly repeat the same mistake. There was no guaranteeing it would work...

My breathing hitched as I remembered the same white light from my first moments. The same enhanced sensations flickered through my nerves, ghostly with passed time. It was a dark rebirth bathed in light; my second chance.

There was no time to waste.

I ran through the castle, descending upon the world like an angel to the fiery depths of sin. My feet clamored against the flooring, echoing my presence throughout the abandoned walls. I burst forth from the door, breathing hard. My eyes scoured the forest in search of what I most desired. Rain blotted my vision and clung to my skin, but I pushed on.

There sat Alfred with his face pushed into Madeline's bosom, his cries still ringing through the air. My heart was struck with fresh grief as I beheld her body, pale and lifeless. I approached them, but was quickly stopped by Alfred's dangerous blue gaze. "Stay back!" He warned. "D-don't come any closer!"

My lips lowered into a frown and I stood firm. I lowered my gaze onto the grass beneath them and was hit with another wave of despair. The ground was covered in her blood, mixing with the rainwater and saturating the earth with her life essence. The thick slice in her throat was dark with coagulating blood and her eyes were glazed over with the film of death's embrace. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Please... Forgive me." I murmured.

Alfred glanced up to me and narrowed his eyes. I took another step forward and he tensed. "I said don't-" I snatched her body up from his arms and whipped back around. "Ivan!" His shout rang in my ears as I threw myself back into the perilous clutches of Castle Frankenstein with my love.

Her body was much lighter than any previous time I'd picked her up. Ever since our first days, I'd adopted the little admiration of how light she'd been, but now it was anything but charming. I felt as if every stride brought me back through my memories; I was surrounded by blinding white and the air around me stung cold. It flowed and washed like a river as I swam deeper and deeper down towards the black abyss. A hand reached out to take my own and I pulled them up. We burst forth from the crust of ice and I gasped for breath. The body in my arms was covered in the frost of decay, barely tied to this mortal world by a thread. I pressed my ear to their chest and listened for something, anything. A voice like song filled my ears, melting into laughter. I opened my eyes again to see a bright world filled with blue skies and golden petals. A face came into my vision.

_"It's a lovely day. The flowers are so beautiful, Ivan."_

Two mauve orbs shone in the sunlight, and strings of gold tickled my cheeks. I reached out to rub her face, lifting my head from the ground. My lips pulled upwards into a smile as I caressed her cheek, running my fingers down the perfect heart shape of her face. Her cheeks were the color of blooming roses and her scent was as fresh as lavender. I felt her hand touch my cheek as well, before she leaned in to place a soft kiss upon my lips.

I closed my eyes and deepened it with my own, but alas, the sensation of warmth had left them once again and I was plummeted back into hell.

My hands shook as I quickly tried to bind her wound with a roll of bandages I'd found in Arthur's lab, staining my hands and clothes further with her blood. Madeline's face was expressionless as her once vibrant eyes stared past my own. They were frozen in time, holding the same horror she'd felt before death dragged her to the unknown depths below. I gritted my teeth to refrain from crying.

I ran my fingers through her beautiful blonde hair and fought to swallow the ball in my throat. "Y-you're going to be okay. I'm going to t-take good care of you. I promise. I'll protect you."

She did not answer.

I finished up and scooped her back into my arms, ignoring the corpse that lie a few feet away. My eyes were glued to the window as I made my way over to it. I observed the height between it and I before backing up a few paces. It was far out of question for a man, but easily scaled by a beast of my stature. I curled into her as I took a step back and leapt through the glass, shattering the framework. More cuts opened up in my skin as the shards dug into my flesh, but none had littered her porcelain skin.

The rain was pouring down on us now, coming down in buckets. I shivered involuntarily as I dug my fingernails into the creases of the stone, and began pulling myself and her higher up the side of the stone wall. Lightning flashed again, and there was a short delay before it was followed by thunder.

I grunted as I pulled us onto the highest rooftop, keeping very cautious of her limbs. There was no room for further injury. She must be preserved. "W-we made it." I whispered. "There isn't much time. You can't leave me, not here, not now." My eyes landed on her again and I straightened up. Tears filled my eyes as I flicked away a string of hair that clung to her skin to better view her breathtaking face. Even in death, her features were soft. I brushed my knuckles against her cheek, feeling the receding warmth begin to fade as it was leeched out by the icy rain. I hiccuped and my body shuddered. It didn't matter what happened to me from this point on, this was my final hope of restoring life to her body. I would likely not survive another charge of electricity, but perhaps if it was enough, she could be restored. I closed my eyes in an effort to stop the flood of tears that threatened to fall.

"What are you doing?!" Alfred's voice called out from the castle window, a mere buzz in my subconscious. I blinked my eyes open again and drank up Madeline's features. A clap of thunder exploded in the air, much closer than it had been just minutes ago. My time was growing short. I leaned my face down to hers, gently rubbing our noses together. It would have been a comforting gesture, had she been awake to feel it. My time with her rolled behind my eyes as I placed a soft kiss on her lips. They were still so plump, so red...

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up, and a tingling sensation filled my body. The air around me became still, almost as if I was underwater and the only thing I could feel was the weight of her body in my arms. My neck bolts began to crackle and snap like a ravenous fire, and all at once, a deafening boom exploded around me. A scream tore from my throat, and my limbs locked up. I could feel the invasive crawl of electricity in my body, ripping up my spine and coursing through my veins.

All at once, the world came tumbling down, and I clung desperately to Madeline with my last ounces of energy. I was falling. My vision flickered as I watched the sky shrink farther and farther away until my mind went completely dark.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

This was mildly upsetting to write... I may have cried a few times here and there...

To clarify, **THIS IS NOT THE END!** To think that I'm that cruel would be ludicrous, even I have a soul!

I look forward to the next and final chapter. Thank you everyone for reading. It has truly been an _electrifying_ experience!

One awful google Translation: cолнце (solntse) = Sun

And once again, until next chapter!


	23. Until Death Do Us Part

Ivan's large form entrapped hers like a shroud, his heavy arms crushing down around her chest. It was clear to Alfred that he had taken the brunt of the fall, allowing Madeline a softer blow. Each of them had an expression not unlike that of a heavy slumber. Although, through the unending stillness, Alfred could see the weak rise and fall of his sister's chest. Somehow, Ivan's sacrifice had not been in vain. With a stifled sob, he removed her from Ivan's deathly grasp to hold her himself.

The large being did not stir, nor did his sides move with any rhythm. His clothes, like Madeline's, had been singed around the edges, although they were now sopping wet in the rain. Ivan's scarred face held a different feeling while inanimate, almost sorrowful. With a twinge of guilt, Alfred felt oddly relieved to see the veil of death returned to his visage. It looked almost natural. The unrest that had lingered in his features had dissipated, replaced by an everlasting peace.

He thought briefly about giving him a proper burial, but the idea quickly fell flat as he glanced back down to his sister's frame. Her condition was critical, if he did not get her help soon, she would likely sink back into the sea of death. An apology left his lips as he turned away from the massive body. The corpse would lie naked to the earth's fury, having already given in to the mortal call. This was not a creature of god, yet even without a christian's burial, he would be adopted by him as a bastard son. A demon redeemed for his sins.

"Al... fred?" Madeline croaked, her voice muffled with fluid. He held her tighter and breathed out a sorrowful sigh. She barely moved, her limbs having been starved of blood and crippled by the beginning stages of rigor mortis. "Where... is he?" Her eyes fluttered open to reveal glassy spheres riddled with confusion and terror.

Alfred swallowed hard and tore his eyes away from hers. "He's alright Maddie. He's alright..."

She took a shallow gasp and her lip quivered. Her body shivered, and with what precious fluids she had left, tears came to her eyes. "Al... I want t-to go home..."

That's when he broke, his fake mask of certainty shattering. He let out a ragged sob and buried his nose into her soaked locks. "I know, sis. Me too."

_Me too._

* * *

><p>It had been a long recovery, I was told. Three weeks, that's how long it took me to finally surface into full consciousness.<p>

Alfred had been at my bedside for the majority of the time, tending to my bandages and feeding me spoonfuls of broth.

The first thing I noticed after opening my eyes again was the tightness of my throat and the odd amount of light pouring in from the windows.

I slowly moved into a sitting position, resting my hand over my neck as I gazed around. Alfred wasn't in the room at the moment, although a part of me wished he was. I felt the scruffy texture of linen snaked around the circumference of my neck and glanced out to my left. There was a large window with flowing maroon drapes a few feet from the foot of my bed, spilling sunshine into the unfamiliar room. I frowned as I took in all of the new items; bookshelves, paintings, globes, a dresser. This certainly wasn't my room in England, although it wasn't Arthur's awful dungeon either.

My head ached as I struggled to remember my predicament. Not much had surfaced besides the eerie feeling of fear which still clung to the inside of my chest.

I waited a while before Alfred returned to me with a fresh meal. He almost jumped out of his skin when he found me awake.

"Ah!" He struggled to keep the bowl from spilling. "M-Madeline! You're finally awake!" Alfred smiled wide, his initial surprise dissolving.

I blinked and tried to summon my voice, but was unable to produce any sound besides a wispy huff. Dull pain stung my throat and I glanced down at myself. There were so many questions in my head, though I still remained so numb and disoriented.

Alfred rounded the bed and set down the broth on the bedside table. "How are you feeling?" He continued.

I tried to speak again, this time managing a broken note, "A-l..." It dropped off, leaving me confused and disheartened.

His usually cool blue eyes were wide with worry, and he paled. "Maddie? Are you alright? What's wrong?" He rushed over and knelt by my bedside.

I stared back wide-eyed, my mind now beginning to rise with panic. Where was my voice?! What was this madness?!

He rested his hand over it for a moment, before recognition flashed over his expression like lightning.

"Oh god, Maddie..." whispered Alfred.

I grasped his sleeve and struggled to stifle my tears.

He clasped my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry Madeline, I'm so sorry."

A hot river began to flow from my eyes as I struggled to understand. Why was he sorry? What was going on?

He just shook his head. "Maddie, please." Alfred's voice cracked. "Please don't cry. It's alright."

My breathing shifted into a fit of hiccups and I shook my head from side to side. This couldn't be happening. _Not my voice!_

"H-H-Him." I choked.

Where was Ivan? What had happened to him? Did he know about this too? I needed to see him.

I gazed deep into Alfred's eyes, prying for any shreds of hope. He just looked away and closed them, blocking out any of my attempts to understand. I grabbed onto him with both hands now, tugging on his clothes insistently. My eyes already stung with bitter tears in fear of his answer.

Finally he spoke, though his voice was not as cool as I'd hoped. "H-he didn't make it, Maddie... Arthur and he... they're both gone..." He tried to compose himself, but all of his efforts proved to be futile. "I'm sorry... I could only save you."

My heart shattered and my grip on him released. My hands began to shake as I stared wide-eyed at him. He tried to wrap his arms around me in a manner of comfort, but I pushed him away. If I could speak, I would have cried out. All I could produce were airy sobs as I pitifully hid my face in my hands. Alfred was persistent as he grabbed my arms and tilted his head. "Madeline, please. It's okay."

I lowered my hands and glared at him, my vision blurred. "N...no." I forced out.

There was a strike of pain in his expression. "Maddie-"

I fell back down onto my pillow and pulled the blankets up over my head. There was no stopping the raw anguish which wracked my body, and I did not wish to have Alfred see me like this. I hugged my arms close to my body and wept and wept until I could weep no more. Every few moments my body would curl in again as an airy sob forced its way free.

Alfred still lingered over me for a long while before I heard his footsteps lead out of my room and the door eased shut once more.

_No,_ I thought bitterly, _there's no way that its true..._

* * *

><p>It was no surprise to me that he had in fact been telling the truth. The room I had awoken to was now my own, my old quarters having been forgotten all the way across the ocean. Alfred had taken me to America a month after our incident in Germany and used what money he could scrounge up to buy us a home in the woodlands of the north. While I'd been in my short coma, he'd gotten to work with rebuilding our lives. With much excitement, he presented me with a slip from a medical college in Pennsylvania that was specifically built for training women. He told me that with My previous education and practice that I'd be accepted for sure.<p>

For now, however, I decided to focus on regaining the time I'd lost. I would keep his offer in mind.

Alfred had also landed himself an occupation here as a trapper. It wasn't quite the same as it had been in Europe, there was much more competition here in America, but he assured me that he was still the best. I couldn't help but feel happy for him. The gleam in his eyes when he'd told me was unmistakable. He'd become himself again.

Hopefully I too would follow suit.

* * *

><p>I gazed into the mirror on my dresser, a small frown hanging on my lips.<p>

My skin had paled beyond its normal hue, becoming almost ghostly in appearance. Tangled blue veins branched out from my chest region and spread to my collar where a thick scar ran the circumference of my throat.

Although he'd been very willing to answer my questions, I still felt that Alfred was keeping something from me.

I didn't feel like myself, and I had good reason to. That wasn't the same person I'd seen before. I looked as if I'd already died.

Perhaps it was a lack of sunlight or nutrition, but I was still perturbed.

There was a knock from the other side of my door and I quickly shuffled through my drawers.

"Maddie? Are you up?" Alfred called.

I balled my fist and knocked on the dresser twice - one knock meaning that I was awake, and a second meaning that I was busy.

My eyes leafed through all of the scraps of cloth before I finally found what I was looking for and I wrapped it around my neck. I spared myself one more glance to make sure that it was on correctly before going to answer the door.

Alfred was standing in the hall with a warm smile. His eyes were soft as he beheld me. "Good morning, sis. I was just coming to check if you were ready to leave."

I looked him over, noticing that he too was dressed in his good clothes. There was a moment of hesitation before I nodded my head.

Alfred's eyes landed on my garb and he tilted his head, his smile slowly lowering. "Huh... Where'd you get that from?"

I glanced down to myself, feeling a ball form in my throat. There was a twinge of anxiety in my expression.

He reached down and took the scarf's tails in his hand. I turned my attention back onto him, biting my lip nervously. "It's very nice," said Alfred. He dropped it again and gazed back into my face. "You look beautiful."

A rotten feeling entered my gut and I stared down at my feet. _I'd hardly call it that._

There was a moment of silence before he set his hand on my shoulder. "He would have thought so too." He murmured, as if he could read my thoughts.

My eyes grew hot and I held back any emotion which had awakened. I tried to turn back into my room, shaking my head, but his hand firmly kept me in place.

"Maddie please don't leave again. I didn't mean to hurt you. It looked lovely on you, that's all." Alfred said softly.

I swallowed hard and turned my eyes back onto him. He was clearly regretful of his words. I took a deep breath and sighed, loosening my shoulders.

He squeezed his hold on me for a moment before removing his hand. "Come on, I'll buy you an ice cream afterwards."

I sighed and begrudgingly agreed. "Mm." He knew I couldn't resist ice cream.

A goofy smile spread across Alfred's face as he took my hand and led me downstairs where our transport awaited us.

* * *

><p>Alfred kept his arm entwined with my own, standing tall and keeping guard of me as we strode along with several others in the street. It was unimaginably busy today, it was hard to believe that there were so many people up and about.<p>

Merchants were offering their wares to men and women as they passed by, some having fresh fruit, others with freshly baked goods and treats. My stomach growled as I ogled one man offering a strange cloud-like candy.

My stride must have dragged, as Alfred gently pulled me to gain my attention. I caught myself and kept pace with him again. He told me that we needed to buy a few necessities first, and then he'd allow me to choose a treat for the way home. I respectively kept my gaze ahead, ignoring the creamery as we passed by.

"I'm thinking of selling some hides while we're out, you wouldn't mind, right?" Alfred whispered, leaning in closer.

My eyes wandered to another couple as they passed by and I nodded. "Mmhmm."

"Okay, good."

We strode for a few more blocks before we stopped and he turned to me. "Here, I need you to buy us some bread." He slipped me a small scrap of paper and I glanced down to it. There was a note written on it with the type of bread he wanted and his name signed underneath. "I already stopped by yesterday to ask for it, give him this. He'll know it's from me."

I gave him a dazed look and he set a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I'll only be a little bit. I'll meet with you afterwards, and then we can go to the creamery, alright?"

I clasped the note tightly and nodded. He smiled and waved. "It won't be long."

He turned and entered the building at our side as people began to pass by behind us. I bit my lip and turned back towards the direction we'd come from. My hand lingered on my scarf as I drew it a bit tighter around my neck.

I glanced around warily before melding back into the mass of people.

The bakery was only a block from the building where Alfred sold his furs, and it stood in between two empty buildings. I stepped inside and was hit with the fresh scent of flour and sugar. There were already a few people inside, but as the bell above me chimed, the baker glanced up from what he was doing. A smile instantly came to his face. "Welcome!" He greeted.

I strode forward and offered the note. He glanced over it for a moment before nodding his head. "Yes, your brother had placed an order yesterday. Pumpernickel, right?"

I nodded, although I had no clue if the order was correct.

He turned and sifted through the several packages of neatly-wrapped orders before finally spotting the one with Alfred's name on it. "Ah, here you go!" The man set it down on the counter and his mustache twitched. "You take care now."

I smiled and offered another nod. "Mmhmm."

I took the bread and stepped back outside. My eyes scoured the area in search of my brother. That had definitely been much quicker than anticipated. Perhaps he was still busy?

I turned to make my way back, but I was suddenly thrown off balance. Someone crashed into my side like a wall and I gasped in surprise. I clutched onto the bread as I crashed to the pavement below.

Something wet touched my elbow and I jumped. A long snout was shoved in my face as a large dog sniffed curiously. I backed away a bit and glanced up.

"I-I'm sorry." A man towered over me, clinging tightly to a dog-leash. He was dressed with heavy cloaks which hid his visage, save for his gleaming violet gaze. Our eyes met for a moment, and my heart skipped. They offered a gloved hand for assistance and I hesitantly took it. I couldn't look away; there was something awfully familiar about them, something which made me oddly... afraid?

"There you are Madeline! I didn't see you for a moment and..." I brushed myself off and glanced over to the voice.

Alfred was looking me over worriedly. "How did you get so dirty?"

I turned back to the man and my eyebrows lifted. The spot where they'd been was empty. I glanced over to Alfred with a bewildered expression.

He brushed some of the dirt from the side of my dress and joined our arms again. "Are you feeling well?"

I blinked several times in astonishment and swallowed nervously. He took the bread still clutched in my other hand and stuffed it into his bag. "Let's get you back home."

I shakily nodded and he led me back to the outskirts, keeping his eye on me at all times.

Something had blown through me with the force of a storm, leaving my insides desolate and empty. A new yearning had awoken again within me, and I was left in a dismal state of mind once again.

* * *

><p>I stood on the balcony of our home, gazing off into the forest deep in thought. The moon hung in the sky high above, bathing the world in its milky white light. It was nights such as this that I chose to reflect and calm myself.<p>

I believe that I've finally figured out what has been plaguing me.

Fragments of that one night in Germany surfaced in my mind, and slowly I began to piece together what had really happened.

I could remember now, the fleeting moments as my breaths had grown shallower and shallower. It had been so cold, freezing even. Ivan had been there, he'd spoken to me until the final strands of life had left my body. He told me that I was going to be alright, he hushed me, he hugged me. The horror in his eyes burned my mind.

I had died, I know I had.

There was a pattern of jagged stripes which ran from my shoulder down my back. It was in the shape of electricity. If any sort of books and reading I'd done in Arthur's home had taught me anything, it was the effects of getting struck by lightning. The man had fetishized it, he kept it just as close to himself as he had his biology books. _The damned monster._

Somehow, I'd been brought back. Knowing now that it was possible, it was likely the method of my revival.

Alas, I was still missing pieces to my story. Somewhere, Ivan had suffered the same blow of death. Arthur had been slain that night - that much was true as well, but of what nature?

My mind wandered.

A cool breeze blew through and I clutched onto my nightgown. It was times like this which pried at my sorrowful heart and brought forth many long-dead affections. I liked to think that I'd find another man someday, that I could start anew, but those were just thoughts. Deep down, I knew that such things were impossible. There would never be a man with the same charm which I found in Ivan's 'grotesque' mockery of the human form. None shall walk between worlds as he and I, and to feel the detachment and loathsomeness as he.

I reached a hand up to wipe my damp cheek. _If I could just see his face again, I would die a thousand times more._

A spirit danced below the balcony, adorned in the white of the moon. I cursed my mind for creating such false images and for trying to trick my heart. It couldn't be. I was losing my mind thinking about the past, allowing pieces to roam free in the present. _Leave me,_ I sniffled, _leave in peace... Please..._

The spirit did not stir, but seemed to be drawn closer to the house. My eyes widened as it neared and I gripped the railing. I gasped. _Could it be?_

That was no wayward spirit of the past, but a living breathing figure of the now. The white creature waited patiently as I turned and hurried downstairs. I threw open the door and my arms grew weak. _Kumajirou?_

The dog's eyes gleamed with joy as he became reunited with his owner. I practically fell into the tangles of his thick white fur. He panted and licked me frantically as I began to weep into him, wrapping my arms tightly around his midsection. Kumajirou's tail whipped around in excitement as I held him, shaking like crazy. _How had he found me? Had he crossed the entire ocean to the Americas to see me? All by himself?!_

Kumajirou was silent for a moment, before I felt his muscles bunch up. I sat up straight and gave him a worried look. "Hmm?" _What's wrong boy?_ Kumajirou's ears were lifted and shifted around in search of a particular noise. I listened intently, holding onto him for support. His ears stopped on the forest to our left and I glanced over. _What is it?_ I wondered.

There was a sudden snapping of a twig and I almost jumped. Kumajirou stood up, his tail wagging gently. I watched as he ran towards the sound and I gasped in surprise. "Oh!" Once again I found myself missing my words dearly.

He stopped and whipped around to face something behind the brush, wagging his tail faster. My breathing came to a complete stop as I heard a voice respond to the dog. An uncannily familiar voice...

"Kumajirou no! You have to go back... stop that! Down!" The voice was a harsh whisper which sent chills running up my spine. _I heard that voice... not long ago... _Kumajirou leapt onto them, forcing them down with his crushing weight. They released a gruff sound and I spotted a flash of beige locks. I held both of my hands over my mouth as tears filled my eyes.

They struggled on the ground with Kumajirou for a minute or two before the dog came running back to me. He reached my doorstep and turned back to the intruder. His ears twitched as he gave an expecting look towards them.

I held my breath as I waited for them to reappear, holding back a smile I did not remember invoking. They stumbled back to their feet, and I saw two gleaming gemstones of amethyst, one being of a slightly lighter hue. Now I remembered, now I knew why it was so familiar.

An emotion much like worry filled their eyes as I extended a hand out. I summoned whatever bits of my voice which were left and channeled it into a single word. "Come..."

I had not heard my own voice in quite a while, it sounded so airy and broken. Something about their reaction told me that they had not heard it in quite a while either.

Hesitantly, the cloaked figure took a step forward, out of the shrubbery and into the gentle moonlight. Even through the blur of emotion, I recognized the towering frame and handsome face of my belated love.

Draped over him was a large cloak, raggedy as it was, but still not enough to hide his true identity. My heart swelled, and I choked up. I opened my arms wide as I struggled to compose myself. "You..." My voice cut short like the shattering of glass.

He was before me in an instant, his eyes wide. "Madeline? Are you alright?" His gaze raked over me, although I was still lost within the notes of his voice.

He inspected me for a moment more, before straightening up. Ivan's face twisted and tears spilled down his cheeks. "My dear sun..." He wrapped his arms around me, engulfing my smaller frame with his own. I held him tight, and he held me tighter. His body shuddered and I heard a sob break from his lips. "You are alive..."

I nodded my head into his chest, allowing myself to cry freely now. A laugh whirled within me as I relished in his solid form. He was not a ghost, no time-lost traveler, no dream... My beloved Ivan had finally returned to me.

The ground left my feet as he lifted me up. I let out a surprised sound and grasped onto his back. Laughter... I could hear laughter. A deep rumble that rang with joy reverberated from his chest as he nuzzled my neck with his face. "I will never let you go. Never again."

I felt a pang of guilt as I struggled to return the statement with my own, but my throat would not produce any coherent sound. After a minute or two, Ivan returned me to the ground, his touch still lingering on my arm now. His eyes were hard on mine, and a frown hung on his lips. "Madeline? What is wrong? Why do you not speak?" He knelt to my level. "Madeline? Is something wrong? Madeline?" His hand tightened.

I shook my head, my tears beginning to turn sour once more. It was as if my heart was breaking all over again.

His expression became more and more urgent. "Madeline? Please, speak to me! Are you alright?"

I reached out to touch his face, still shaking me head. Now my breaths came in shaky sobs as I tried my hardest to tell him.

I wiped away his tears, only for new ones to soak his cheek. Recognition began to wash over his expression, and he cried harder. "Oh... God. My beautiful bird's song has been stolen! Oh Madeline!" He took hold of me again and I held still. Ivan pressed his forehead to my shoulder blade as he shook his head back and forth. "No! Please tell me it isn't true! My dearest has lost her voice!"

I reached up to pet his hair, closing my eyes. He didn't understand, and I didn't blame him. My life had been saved, but Arthur's blade had rendered me unable to speak. A grisly reminder of my death.

I gently nudged him off, and held onto his arms. Ivan's eyes were red, and his expression sullen as he gazed down at me. I craned my neck upwards and motioned towards my neck. His eyes fell onto the scar and he released a sound much like a whine. "He did this to you..." Ivan shakily reached a hand out, his expression filled with loathing.

He gently rubbed his fingers over the scar and pouted.

His voice was low and harsh, "it's ugly..."

I reached up and slid my hand beneath his hood to touch his neck in return. My fingers brushed over the thick sutures in a gentle gesture, as a smile slowly drew my lips up. Tears clung to his eyelashes as he could not meet my eyes. "No." He murmured. Ivan carefully wrapped his fingers around my wrist and removed my hand. "Not like mine."

I frowned and tugged my wrist free, giving him a look of disappointment. Ivan closed his eyes and released a deep sigh. "You aren't like me."

I reached out and took his hand, holding it in between both of my own. He watched as I stretched our fingers out, so that our palms were kissing. I glanced back up to his face and waited patiently.

He observed our hands and then turned his eyes back onto mine. There was a long pause, before I could see his lips quivering, and I couldn't help but smile. He slid his fingers in between my own, locking our hands together, and leaned down. "How I missed you."

I giggled as he gave me an affectionate peck on the cheek. His lips traced downwards, slowly, hesitantly. I tilted my chin up, much too impatient to wait for his lips to meet my own.

The world became fluid around us as I felt a piece of my soul reunite, and his warm breath mixed with my own once again. I held my hand on the side of his face, and he carefully wrapped his arm over my back. Unlike our first kiss, there was no explosion, no overwhelming ecstasy; only peace. A cool warmth. A calm storm. A silent chorus.

We broke apart after a moment's pass. Ivan gazed into my eyes for a long time, sharing thousands of words which I could no longer speak. I slowly took his hand and tugged him towards the house. He wasn't compliant at first, but I insisted with another little tug.

"But your brother-" Ivan began, although I had already brought him in the door. Kumajirou followed close behind, and I turned momentarily to press my finger to my lips.

The dog's panting lowered and became almost silent, and I continued leading Ivan forward. His eyes scanned over everything with the curiosity of a child. That had certainly been one of his charming features I'd missed most.

Quietly, I led him upstairs and into my room, where I carefully eased the door shut. Kumajirou let out a whine, and I stopped to hold the door open for him. He rushed inside and leapt onto the bed. There was a moment or two of rustling before he finally got comfortable.

I shut the door again and turned back to Ivan.

He looked perplexed as he surveyed the room. Although it wasn't completely dark with the light filtering through the window, our forms were still solid and dark. I stood before him for a moment, taking both of his hands at our sides. He turned his attention down onto me, and I gave a gentle smile. His silence was uncomfortable, but he seemed to trust my methods.

"What are we doing in here?" whispered Ivan.

I put a finger to my lips again and broke our hands to turn him by his shoulders. His back was to the window, bathing me in his shadow. I could only see the fine outlines of his face, and the twinkling in his eyes. With a gentle nudge, I guided him back a couple of steps. The backs of his knees touched the bed, and I carefully pushed him down.

His eyes did not leave my own as I turned and took a seat beside him. I took a deep breath and released it, relaxing myself. Ivan on the other hand, seemed to be anything but. His muscles were tense, and unease wafted from him in waves. I wished I could explain to him what I wanted to clear things up, but I would just have to show him.

I turned my body slowly to sit length-wise on my pillow, and patted the space beside me.

Ivan did not move at first. "Oh... I... I don't think I can stay, Madeline. What if your brother sees that I am here?"

I rested my hand on his shoulder and shook my head.

He frowned, but continued to crawl over to the other side.

The bed groaned with his weight until he finally got adjusted. He glanced over to me and mimicked my posture, wrapping his fingers together over his lap. "You want me to sleep with you?" He asked.

I inched over until our sides were touching, and I leaned into him.

He lifted his arm, allowing me access to his warmth. I snuggled into him, and slowly, his arm descended over me again. Ivan relaxed, and he closed his eyes with a little smile. "I love you." He murmured, seemingly understanding my intents.

Although I was incapable of responding, I did nuzzle my cheek over his chest in a gesture of recognition._ I love you too._ My voice bounced all about in my head without the ability to escape from my lips.

Ivan rubbed his hand up and down my arm, giving me several little kisses on my face. He whispered sweet nothings, before his breath melded into song. It was low and I couldn't quite understand its origin, but I guessed it was some sort of lullaby he must have picked up around Europe.

I sat there under his arm that night, and allowed my thoughts to wander astray.

Now it was the two of us. Over the past few years I had changed so much. Somehow I felt that my past self was so... infantile. I'd grown, - of course I expected that, but I would have never foreseen myself turning out like this.

My future had always been so blurry, so distant that it didn't even matter to me. Someday I would have met a man somewhere and become a wife. My life would have been dreadfully dull if I thought about it.

Now, however, I was almost certain which route I'd chosen. We wouldn't have a normal life. It would be near impossible to gather in a chapel for marriage and children were of course out of the equation. Alfred would surely be a bit of an obstacle, even now that he was unaware of Ivan's survival.

We were both abominations of this world; forsaken by nature itself, but far from miserable.

There would be no torches, no guns, no angry mobs. We wouldn't have to crouch beneath the brush to hide ourselves from the world which bore us.

We were safe as long as we were together, warm in each other's embrace.

We had defied death once, and we would defy it again if for the other's sake.

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue:<strong>

Alfred tiptoed upstairs, a tray of breakfast held in his hands. _I hope Madeline is feeling better today, she did seem to be a little ill after our trip to town..._ He frowned momentarily, _I knew she wasn't ready to go out yet. I shouldn't have forced her._

He stopped before her door and took a deep breath before knocking gently Alfred turned and pressed his ear to the door to hear her response.

There was a long stretch of silence and he turned the knob. _She must still be resting_. He thought to himself.

He stepped inside and turned to find an extra body in the bed. His blood ran cold.

"N-no..." He whispered.

How had a man slipped into the house without his noticing? And now he was bedding his sister!?

Alfred yelped in surprise as something large brushed past him.

A large white dog hopped onto the bed and the male stirred. Alfred stared wide-eyed as they sat up and turned to him. This time he did lose his hold on the tray.

"Y-y-you..." He pointed a shaky finger in their direction. "You were dead!"

Ivan frowned and rubbed his eyes free of sleep. "Will I never outlive that?"

**Notes:  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Thanks to everyone who has supported me through both the first copy and this refreshed version! You have truly been the driving force of this, and without you, I would have never had the motivation to make this to the best of my ability! This has truly been a wild ride, and I hope that it has served you as well as it has me! I will continue to write RusCan fanfiction as I will resume with not having a life. You guys are the best, and it is with a very warm heart, that I bid you all farewell.<p>

_For now..._

P.S. I'm probably still not over this Au and I will most likely be writing something pertaining to it (hint hint) as I feel that Arthur's character should be explored more (plus I am totally stoked for the new Victor Frankenstein movie coming out later this month). So, expect something along the lines of a prequel being posted._ Although I make no promises!_

Until we meet again.


End file.
